Thanks dude! It's always nice to put a face gaffers so sorry about okcipid stalking a bit. I definitely need to get some new pics on there. I'm going to a wedding tomorrow so hopefully I can get a few pics of me in public dressed nice. If it not. I'll totally do the photo timer thing you mentioned haha. I figured dropping the video game thing was okay since it was sorta in passing and I only mentioned it once. I'll think of something clever for the "first thing people notice about me" section. It's kinda lazy. I appreciate the review!
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
Thanks dude! It's always nice to put a face gaffers so sorry about okcipid stalking a bit. I definitely need to get some new pics on there. I'm going to a wedding tomorrow so hopefully I can get a few pics of me in public dressed nice. If it not. I'll totally do the photo timer thing you mentioned haha. I figured dropping the video game thing was okay since it was sorta in passing and I only mentioned it once. I'll think of something clever for the "first thing people notice about me" section. It's kinda lazy. I appreciate the review!
Seconding the better pics. I can tell they were all taken in the same room, and if a girl notices that, it won't play well for you.
"assembling furniture" is almost a trope. I've seen some variation of it (usually with a specification of "Ikea furniture") in at least a dozen profiles.
"Pick a side okc, our countries at war" typo?
Your typical friday night sounds like everyone elses typical friday night. The Green Day line helps, but capitalize stuff better.
Consider leaving the "first thing people notice about me" and "the most private thing..." sections empty. OKC removed those prompts back in August 2014. Having them dates your profile as being at least a year old. Without them, you'll look like any other "new" profile.
"trying to read more" sounds like you want to read more, but are failing to do so.
Would like some feedback on my profiles as well, please. Quote to reveal.
I took a look. Your profile is actually well done. Some of the jokes are a bit corny, but they're got a smile out of me, so good on you. One thing I cannot stand; mirror selfies. If you have pictures of you with family/friends or just by yourself that someone else took, use those instead. Otherwise, nicely done.
I took a look. Your profile is actually well done. Some of the jokes are a bit corny, but they're got a smile out of me, so good on you. One thing I cannot stand; mirror selfies. If you have pictures of you with family/friends or just by yourself that someone else took, use those instead. Otherwise, nicely done.
For those who are interested in my story here is the latest. As agreed with the police me, my female friend and her boyfriend met with the girl who was claiming pregnancy. To my surprise she turned up alone as I was sure she'd bring some heavies.
We went to the hospital the police had requested us to go to and unfortunately they did not offer pregnancy tests on Saturday. So, my friend suggested we go to a bigger hospital. The girl told my friend she'd only go to the hospital where she had printed the very dodgy and seemingly fake pregnancy test.
Anyway we insisted to go to the other hospital and the girl snapped for the first time, telling my friend to fuck off. This was the first sign of odd behaviour.
In the taxi, about ten minutes into the journey the girl demanded to leave the car. My friend said no. What happened next was insane. The girl punched my friend in the face. Unfortunately my friend reacted quite fiercely, which is natural, but this is the kind of manipulation this girl seemingly loves.
So, we immediately went back to the police where my friend has good connections. Of course the girl told the police my friend attacked her first and spilled some other lies, but my friend advised her contacts and got the situation under control.
The police had another look at the original pregnancy certificate and basically said this girl is a joker but again they can't do much because it is a civil issue. When making the report, the girl didn't even have an id card on her which added to the dodgy situation as you need an id card to go to Hospital.
The police said to me it was perfectly fine for me to leave, delete my phone number and move house. They said there's nothing criminally wrong and the girl is obviously dodgy.
So we tried to leave the police station in a car but the girl wouldn't move from in front of it. Long story short we had a car chase and she followed us for a long while before losing tail.
I have my phone in airplane mode now and will get a new sim card. She sent me a text message saying she has taken my bicycle, meaning she has probably taken her sob story to the neighbours,she also said she is going to try and sue me and get my passport frozen. It all sounds like manipulative bullshit. I also had one phone call from a police station near where she lives. For now I'm taking the advice of the police I was with and severing all contact. I have all the personal items I need for now, but need to work out how to pack up and leave my apartment eventually.
What a fucking nightmare, but hopefully a bit of light on the horizon....
We went to the hospital the police had requested us to go to and unfortunately they did not offer pregnancy tests on Saturday. So, my friend suggested we go to a bigger hospital. The girl told my friend she'd only go to the hospital where she had printed the very dodgy and seemingly fake pregnancy test.
Anyway we insisted to go to the other hospital and the girl snapped for the first time, telling my friend to fuck off. This was the first sign of odd behaviour.
In the taxi, about ten minutes into the journey the girl demanded to leave the car. My friend said no. What happened next was insane. The girl punched my friend in the face. Unfortunately my friend reacted quite fiercely, which is natural, but this is the kind of manipulation this girl seemingly loves.
So, we immediately went back to the police where my friend has good connections. Of course the girl told the police my friend attacked her first and spilled some other lies, but my friend advised her contacts and got the situation under control.
The police had another look at the original pregnancy certificate and basically said this girl is a joker but again they can't do much because it is a civil issue. When making the report, the girl didn't even have an id card on her which added to the dodgy situation as you need an id card to go to Hospital.
The police said to me it was perfectly fine for me to leave, delete my phone number and move house. They said there's nothing criminally wrong and the girl is obviously dodgy.
So we tried to leave the police station in a car but the girl wouldn't move from in front of it. Long story short we had a car chase and she followed us for a long while before losing tail.
I have my phone in airplane mode now and will get a new sim card. She sent me a text message saying she has taken my bicycle, meaning she has probably taken her sob story to the neighbours,she also said she is going to try and sue me and get my passport frozen. It all sounds like manipulative bullshit. I also had one phone call from a police station near where she lives. For now I'm taking the advice of the police I was with and severing all contact. I have all the personal items I need for now, but need to work out how to pack up and leave my apartment eventually.
What a fucking nightmare, but hopefully a bit of light on the horizon....
Gray Matter
Member
What in the actual fuck?!
This is some shit I imagine could only happen in the movies. This whole situation is fucked up.
This is some shit I imagine could only happen in the movies. This whole situation is fucked up.
You just cannot begin to understand how royally fucked up it is. I have lived in that house for 5 years, made it my own and have been forced into being homeless. It's utterly terrifying.
I have my cat at my office, a small suitcase of clothes and staying at my friends studio apartment for the foreseeable.
It feels like my time in China is coming to an end
.Amazingly restraining orders have only recently been made a law in China and are only applicable to married couples. I could in theory ride out the storm in hiding and move home, but the harassment and general stress of now having my neighbours against me is too much. The only really safe way to escape from this girl is to move to a new neighbourhood, as per the police's advice.
Clearly you need to marry her and then get a restraining order.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I wish I had someone around to slap me: I'm getting my expectations too high for this date. For all I know it might never happen.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Getting ready to go on a third date with someone. As mentioned on the last page, I cut things off with the other girl I was seeing, and the two I went on first dates with, neither of us has really followed up. This is three dates in 7 days with her -- and I'm still a tiny bit nervous. (First date: tacos and margaritas. Second date: gelato, movie, pizza, drinks.)
After our date Wednesday, we settled on seeing a comedy routine at a divey bar tonight, since we both love that. I think I threw her for a loop by suggesting dinner at an actual restaurant beforehand, and I'm wondering if I chose something too fancy. Basically, because her response was: "Ooh, fancy." I brushed her off and said it balances out the dank location we'll be headed to. Still, this is 2 $s on Yelp. Not anything extravagant.
Thus far, I've paid for everything, and she's thanked me each time and offered an "Are you sure?" too. I told her that I asked her out on a date, so it's my treat, and she's more than welcome to ask me out, and I might just say yes.
I want to establish that I enjoy taking her out, but I also don't want to put her in an awkward position. Tips?
Did you two ever set a date for it?
After our date Wednesday, we settled on seeing a comedy routine at a divey bar tonight, since we both love that. I think I threw her for a loop by suggesting dinner at an actual restaurant beforehand, and I'm wondering if I chose something too fancy. Basically, because her response was: "Ooh, fancy." I brushed her off and said it balances out the dank location we'll be headed to. Still, this is 2 $s on Yelp. Not anything extravagant.
Thus far, I've paid for everything, and she's thanked me each time and offered an "Are you sure?" too. I told her that I asked her out on a date, so it's my treat, and she's more than welcome to ask me out, and I might just say yes.
I want to establish that I enjoy taking her out, but I also don't want to put her in an awkward position. Tips?
Did you two ever set a date for it?
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
No. Didn't get a response back after she said yes. She's suppose to be over a friend's this weekend, but who knows?
Just to be clear, these are my high expectations:
1. The date will happen.
2. It will go well enough to warrant a second date.
I set the bar very low normally.
Treat her like anyone else. Don't go in with expectations. If she turns out to be 'larger' than what you are into, then don't sweat it. Have a good time, but don't lead her on.
I won't even attempt to use online dating sites anymore. I can only have someone who clearly is not the person depicted in the profile show up on me once to know the creeper game has become way too abusively strong to be worth another second of my time. I'm pretty sure I scared that "Kamil Baron" guy off right good for playing part to that fuckery.
I wonder how nursing is going for him. He seemed like a nice guy but chose a sad thing to take part in and a bad person to put on an act to. Be real or stay in school?
I wonder how nursing is going for him. He seemed like a nice guy but chose a sad thing to take part in and a bad person to put on an act to. Be real or stay in school?
What happened to you? We spoke for awhile on steam and then you disappeared for months.
Also
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Third-date girl just left. Got another compliment on being a planner: dinner, comedy show, and then wine and watching the latest Aziz standup at my place. We're taking it slow, which completely suits me. Apparently sincerely saying things like "I really like you, and I see this going somewhere, so why ruin it by rushing?" goes over well.
Fourth date planned sometime this week. Glad I cut things off with the others. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to use the other thread.
Fourth date planned sometime this week. Glad I cut things off with the others. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to use the other thread.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Oh man, Indian dating sites are a goddamn minefield. Some of these profiles have one sentence remarks, a shit ton of others are written in broken English, even more are written by these girls' sisters, friends, parents, random family members, etc.
Looking at your OKC profile.
Picture #1 is really blurry/pixelated, or something. Do you have a better camera to re-take that picture?
I really like #4 :3
As for the profile...
...
...
Actually fill out most of the areas on OKC that you need to, follow the format, and I'll look at it again. The self summary is just supposed to be the "intro", not the whole thing. What you have currently comes off as lazy, and a little harder to read when OKC has a different format set up.
I didn't look at the POF profile because I never used that service.
I don't quite know what to make of this girl. We got lemonade on Friday, and talked for 3 hours before she had to go to work. Today we got thai food, and the date only lasted an hour. She said earlier that she didn't get much sleep last night, and then apparently her tiredness hit her all at once. So I walked her home, hugged her, and said goodbye.
Normally I'd just write this off as "she's not interested", but I also get the feeling that might just genuinely not get "dating". She has social anxiety, and if her profile is to be believed, hasn't dated before. So I don't know how strongly I should hold her to the rules when she doesn't seem to have played the game before.
Thinking I should just aim for a third date, make crystal clear that it is a date, and during said date, I ask her straight up what she's looking for out of a relationship. Thoughts?
Normally I'd just write this off as "she's not interested", but I also get the feeling that might just genuinely not get "dating". She has social anxiety, and if her profile is to be believed, hasn't dated before. So I don't know how strongly I should hold her to the rules when she doesn't seem to have played the game before.
Thinking I should just aim for a third date, make crystal clear that it is a date, and during said date, I ask her straight up what she's looking for out of a relationship. Thoughts?
Makes sense to me.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I appreciate people being straightforward, but I can be very blunt.
I typically aim for more tact, but I think straightforward is the way to go here. If she really hasn't dated much before, she probably doesn't know the signs to give out and/or look out for to display interest.
I edited my profile/pics based on what you said. Any better?
Answer more questions on OKC, and include explanations when needed, or where there's an opportunity for funny. Doing so gets you in people's activity feed, and nets you better matches.
You say you're not looking for anything serious, yet you also aren't looking for short-term dating, only long-term?
I'm not sure about all the negative language you use. Calling people douches, shitty parkers, "aren't full of yourself", I don't think it reads well. The heart consuming galaxies is exaggerated enough to make it funny without seeming mean. But saying "people who flaunt their lives are douches or fake", now that just left a bad impression.
Add some recreation activities to the "what i'm doing with my life" section. At quick glance, your day to day just looks like work and school.
Don't neglect mentioning favorite foods (and don't just say "anything"). It can help girls visualize a date with you.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I agree it's negative af (sorry). I don't want to be lectured on how to use this site. To be honest, it reeks of bitterness.
Keep it light and simple. Even your humour is more dark than crude.
So of course after a relativity dry week my tinder blows up on Saturday. we'll see if I can make the most of it. I really need to be on my okc grind. Like the last month or so I haven't sent any messages unless I was messaged first even attractive girls I actually matched with. I did get first some messages from attractive girls, a potential date this Wednesday with one even. Still, I'm slacking and girls on okc seem to be looking for more than just a hook up in my experience. I changed my picture and I got a ton of matches today. Gonna grind it out.
Gray Matter
Member
The cycle continues.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Self fulfilling prophecies, how do they work?
DivineRage002
Member
She stole your bike, call the cops on her again. She's digging herself deeper.
Don't back down on this, if you don't actually teach her a lesson, it's only a matter of time before she does the same thing to another guy.
She just did something absolutely criminal, call the cops and she might end up with some jail time, that should teach her some manners.
Edit: Again, like I said, if you have the law obviously on your side, abuse the hell out of it. The more paperwork the cops have on how much of a crazy she is, the more they will be in your favor if the shit hits the fan for real.
Geeezz, just the fake pregnancy thing printed off is unbelievable. I hope things move along and you get yourself entirely removed from any involvement with that. That is several levels of WTF.
Be real while in school.
Yeah, unfair on my half, but considering this specific situation, I felt my reaction was understandable.
Life, moved, stepped away from some ridiculous drama from some people that forced themselves into my life, pretty much. Getting caught up in the middle of family legal matters that I should have never been put in the middle of to begin with. Things are much better now. Family that ain't so much family. /sigh
Good profile in my opinion. Good enough to "publish".
You cover all the points and make a point to put true things in there to keep at bay the types you might not want to attract.
I was speechless before, but I agree with this. Take the text message to the police. They have to be able to do something now that she stole something from you.
@Infinity Patriot - I'll look at your profile again when I'm not at work :3
Scully Scully Scoo
Member
howdy online dating gaff, i am a noob. im thinking seriously of joining tinder because im very bored atm so why the hell not.
i can honestly say i am not joining looking for hookups, i actually am going to refrain from sex for the next 4-5 months so i can try and enjoy the smaller things in life.
here is my problem, wtf do i write in my bio and how many pics should i upload? btw i only have selfies
i can honestly say i am not joining looking for hookups, i actually am going to refrain from sex for the next 4-5 months so i can try and enjoy the smaller things in life.
here is my problem, wtf do i write in my bio and how many pics should i upload? btw i only have selfies
lol, I've officially messaged every girl on OKC with a 90+% match within 50 miles of me, and still haven't gotten a single conversation started, much less a date. That's like 600+ girls, and not a single one of them is remotely interested in me.
I don't know why I even try anymore.
I don't know why I even try anymore.
Write whatever you think's good, try to get more than selfies. You, at the very least, need a pic that shows more than your face.
The match % really doesn't mean much, as it could be that people only answer a few of those questions to get that percentage, so it can be easily skewed in one direction or another. It's better to broaden your horizons in that regard. Also depending on where you live (like you live in LA or NYC), 600 isn't all that much. I mean, that's a ton in my area, but maybe just a drop in the bucket in yours.
Still, there could be another problem there. How's your profile? Your pictures? What opening message do you say? You say more than hi, right?
So meeting up with the girl from pof went well on Sunday. Meeting up again Saturday. I normally would try to minimize texting at this point but what are some ok topics to talk about at this point since it'll be nearly a week after. Just one date in. I'd want to save most of it till we meet again tho.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
A woman flaking out on a date I feel is worse than not responding to a message. I've never had it happened before, so maybe it's because I'm not accustom to it.
"How about we go on a date?"
"Yeah sure!"
"How about this place?"
*no response*
"How about we go on a date?"
"Yeah sure!"
"How about this place?"
*no response*
Well, I think I finally figured out where I stood with that girl, if my unreturned text for a third date was any indication. One of these days I need to finally learn to trust myself when it comes to gauging interest, both incoming and outgoing...
And on this day, you truly understand the thread title. We've all been there.
The one suggestion to add, when you ask about the date, include a place and time. Show initiative to separate yourself from the wishy-washy masses (there's apparently a lot of them).
And on this day, you truly understand the thread title. We've all been there.
The one suggestion to add, when you ask about the date, include a place and time. Show initiative to separate yourself from the wishy-washy masses (there's apparently a lot of them).
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
R-r-r-r-r-rejected
The saga is far from over. Yesterday she rocked up at my office with some dude. No idea how they found my company. The guy was shady as fuck, spoke English and was trying to get info out of me. She had new pregnancy test forms (dated as before) but now legit looking. Guess she'd had time to get some proper fakes made.
I ended up having to go to another police station and all I could say is refer to the other police shop where there's a full report. They let me go without interrogation.
Now she has messaged me to contact an American guy who incidentally viewed my LinkedIn two days before. Guess that's how they found the office.
Their current thing is to try and push me to answer "what will you do if it is yours" and "i dont want to marry you or your money, I just want you to be responsible." It is too odd.
It is a crazy situ. Right now I have no idea where its going.
I ended up having to go to another police station and all I could say is refer to the other police shop where there's a full report. They let me go without interrogation.
Now she has messaged me to contact an American guy who incidentally viewed my LinkedIn two days before. Guess that's how they found the office.
Their current thing is to try and push me to answer "what will you do if it is yours" and "i dont want to marry you or your money, I just want you to be responsible." It is too odd.
It is a crazy situ. Right now I have no idea where its going.
Shit, I forgot to look at it yesterday. I swear I'll do it today.
Hello!
Passing through a message from the Dating thread since this is obviously more appropriate.
Quote to reveal some photos, of various different styles, opinions on what you feel work and don't (and best choices for main pics) would be appreciated.
I'm essentially gonna refresh these photos when I buy all clothes (and reach the goal weight) so I'm really looking for the ones to replicate when I'm ready for a fresh load of photos
Also, looking direct at the camera and smiling or off camera pout?
I just sometimes think direct stare downs are terrifying. Yes, I indeed terrify myself when I look at these pics!
Passing through a message from the Dating thread since this is obviously more appropriate.
Quote to reveal some photos, of various different styles, opinions on what you feel work and don't (and best choices for main pics) would be appreciated.
I'm essentially gonna refresh these photos when I buy all clothes (and reach the goal weight) so I'm really looking for the ones to replicate when I'm ready for a fresh load of photos
Also, looking direct at the camera and smiling or off camera pout?
I just sometimes think direct stare downs are terrifying. Yes, I indeed terrify myself when I look at these pics!
Scully Scully Scoo
Member
guys i signed up to okcupid and i need some advice, i sent this message to a psychology grad who i just want to talk with really, not interested in dating her, but she hasnt responded so i want to know how could i have phrased my message better or if this is even a good first message to send to get responses.
''Hey, being a psychology enthusiast myself I'm always interested to find out why people get involved in this subject. I was attracted to it because I wanted to gain an understanding of human behavior and motivations for reasons I am not going to mention right now lol
I'm quite surprised Frasier isn't listed amongst your favourite shows, comedy seems to be your thing and being a psychology graduate I am assuming you have at the very least heard about it.
What doesnn't surprise me is the fact that you like cats, fascinating creatures, much more complex than dogs.They really make you earn their love.''
''Hey, being a psychology enthusiast myself I'm always interested to find out why people get involved in this subject. I was attracted to it because I wanted to gain an understanding of human behavior and motivations for reasons I am not going to mention right now lol
I'm quite surprised Frasier isn't listed amongst your favourite shows, comedy seems to be your thing and being a psychology graduate I am assuming you have at the very least heard about it.
What doesnn't surprise me is the fact that you like cats, fascinating creatures, much more complex than dogs.They really make you earn their love.''
i think your last pic is the best, 2nd choice would be the 1st pic but maybe you should just smile with your mouth shut instead of having it open. what i think would be really cool is if in the 5th pic u were looking at the camera and smiling, the album art in the background looks good and adds personality.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
^^You didn't ask a question, and it was too long. Here's what I would've written:
"I'm a psych enthusiast myself (you could say I'm psyched about psych... sorry). What motivated you to study human motivations (sorry again)?"
"I'm a psych enthusiast myself (you could say I'm psyched about psych... sorry). What motivated you to study human motivations (sorry again)?"