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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
On Tinder, your pics will do most of the talking for you. Just pick a key tenet of your personality you want to advertise, think of a funny way of introducing it, and go from there.
On OKC, answer the prompts as if a cute girl at a bar were asking them to you. You want to entertain while informing. If she asked you "what are six things you could never live without?" you wouldn't say "air, my phone, water, my car, my job, wifi". She'll have heard those answers hundreds of times before. Which brings me to my next point...
Focus not only on what makes you you, but also on what makes you not everyone else. Your goal is to set yourself apart from every other schmuck with a dating profile. You're not going to do that by having the same exact things as them.
victreeb3l
Member
Ok, that makes sense. Thanks for the tips!
So far I'm just using Tinder and Bumble. Set up my profile with a few words just to start using these apps. Will spend some more time with OKC.
Ugh using Bumble and Tinder back to back is so annoying. The UI looks similar but the UX is different so I end up super liking people on Tinder when I dont mean to. Bah.
Definitely agree that it helps to have unique things on one's profile to stand out. For instance, on my profile I mention in my You should message me section 2 things: if you have something to say about my hair and a crush on Jansen Ackles. A lot of the time, the former gets me unsolicited messages in addition to things I mention in my profile. Quickmatch does wonders... When you're buzzed since I got a bunch of messages and matches that way.
On Tinder I mention to ask girls to guess to pronounce my name and they win a prize and added a bunch of emojis of things I like.
Mountains of girls and still no incentive to message any of them back on OKC since it feels like a chore. Probably going to end up copying and pasting the same exact message to each match since I can't be bothered to click on their profile to come up with something original.
One of the most ironic messages I got was from a girl who's a anti-patriarchy feminist, anti-capitalism, and has a bunch of disclaimers on her profile but her pics are the opposite: she's on the big side and hides her body. That's not a feminist in my book since feminists own up to their bodies no matter what. I find it hilarious when girls who contradict themselves message me.
Update on the girl I went with yesterday: she said that she'll let me know when she needs a study break with a smiley face. Not really an L but the ball is in her court so I'll leave her be for a while.
The Mexican girl from CMB who I fell off with texted me today apologizing for not replying and having a crazy month. Lesson learned here is give the girl space and she'll be back. Setting something up for this week since she's returning to the city tomorrow. We've been texting on and off for 1.2 months.
I think the weirdest blunder for me has to be a girl who I texted last week replied to my text this weekend. I thought she wasn't interested so I deleted her number. I've been taking as long if not longer than her to reply and asked her out for this week. If she makes a flaky excuse, then I'll wish her the best and move on for good.
Last bit of updates: scheduled a date with the aforementioned Tinder girl I'd been speaking to in 3 weeks since she's out of town. I think it's super easy for me to ask girls out and smell the BS out. Although I'm still captain oblivious.
On Tinder I mention to ask girls to guess to pronounce my name and they win a prize and added a bunch of emojis of things I like.
Mountains of girls and still no incentive to message any of them back on OKC since it feels like a chore. Probably going to end up copying and pasting the same exact message to each match since I can't be bothered to click on their profile to come up with something original.
One of the most ironic messages I got was from a girl who's a anti-patriarchy feminist, anti-capitalism, and has a bunch of disclaimers on her profile but her pics are the opposite: she's on the big side and hides her body. That's not a feminist in my book since feminists own up to their bodies no matter what. I find it hilarious when girls who contradict themselves message me.
Update on the girl I went with yesterday: she said that she'll let me know when she needs a study break with a smiley face. Not really an L but the ball is in her court so I'll leave her be for a while.
The Mexican girl from CMB who I fell off with texted me today apologizing for not replying and having a crazy month. Lesson learned here is give the girl space and she'll be back. Setting something up for this week since she's returning to the city tomorrow. We've been texting on and off for 1.2 months.
I think the weirdest blunder for me has to be a girl who I texted last week replied to my text this weekend. I thought she wasn't interested so I deleted her number. I've been taking as long if not longer than her to reply and asked her out for this week. If she makes a flaky excuse, then I'll wish her the best and move on for good.
Last bit of updates: scheduled a date with the aforementioned Tinder girl I'd been speaking to in 3 weeks since she's out of town. I think it's super easy for me to ask girls out and smell the BS out. Although I'm still captain oblivious.
Jawmuncher
Member
Was wondering if any new dating apps have been gaining traction. Right now I'm seeing clover (any impressions on that one). Is there any others which aren't in the OP worth looking into?
First time I heard of that one. It doesn't seem to be on Android. I'm sure there's loads of others since dating apps not Tinder/OKC/POF/March are trying to break into that audience. There's probably a website or two that's dedicated to the social media/dating app scene.
Also, thanks for reading the OP. I really appreciate it since not a lot of people do these days. Some of the info might be antiquated so it'll need to be updated but most of it is solid.
Jawmuncher
Member
It's a good OP, read through it and have been using a lot of the advice there for starting out. I guess I'll just try clover myself and give impressions later.
no messages though haha
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Sure. I honestly keep forgetting if I've posted in this thread or the other (and I think we ought to just combine the OTs into one, since a far more rational split is "getting a date" versus "relationship issues"), but here goes: I got super frustrated while driving and tensed up. I'm fine 99.99% of the time, but I don't like not knowing where I'm going, because it's just difficult for me to keep track of all the variables. I know it got much worse after I returned from Afghanistan, but man -- parallel parking sucks. I also blamed her because she told me to turn down a one-way street. I don't shout or swear or anything; I just don't want to deal with anyone else in the car until I figure out what's going on, and then I simmer down immediately like nothing happened.
She's oddly sensitive to others' emotions, broke down crying, said she didn't want to raise children with someone who could treat others like that. Unsurprisingly, her father treated her that way as a child, so she's clearly processing things too. We went inside, sat on the floor and then her bed, and talked about a break. She said I had things to work on, and that she couldn't be with me until I did. She never intended to fall in love with a chubby, anxious war veteran who didn't know how to cut a steak three months ago. But, here we are.
The next morning, I got a text from her: she'd talked it over with her mother and she asked if we could get back together after her next exam, which is this Thursday. (It's like a CPA for her field; this isn't just University-level stuff.) She said she had to work on things too, although I wish she'd tell me what, exactly. I know she's under incredible amounts of stress, and I know she just wants to make me happy. The one curveball is that she said I could see other girls during this break. I said I had no interest, but my friends today said it probably spells doom and gloom. We'll see, though, and given her background, I don't agree. Anyway, I made dinner reservations for Thursday at her favorite restaurant and I'm going to surprise her with a new dress. It'll either work out splendidly or go horribly, but I like dichotomies.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Hope things work out for you AD.
I met someone on tinder. He's perfect online and it scared me. So I called him on the phone and we spoke for three hours. It wasn't weird or awkward at all. Now we are meeting tonight, it's my first date in over 6 years and I feel sick to my stomach.
Has anyone made this online dating thing work? Please reassure me that it's not just online I like him. Ahhh
Has anyone made this online dating thing work? Please reassure me that it's not just online I like him. Ahhh
Really, really depends on the context. For example, first message goes unanswered? Don't bother.
I have tried a few times before to pick up dead conversations and it never goes well. It usually ends up with the girl ghosting again. The one time I met up with a girl by sending another message it ended up being a waste of time.
I would only ever do it if we've met in person already if she seemed really amazing, and only once - after that, move on.
Plenty of people have made it work. Best advice I can offer: keep your expectations tempered. Don't think you're going to meet your next husband...you're just meeting a guy, a normal guy, and you're seeing what transpires.
Has it been at least a week? I wouldn't expect it to change anything, but there's no harm in sending one more message. Just don't send a third.
Thanks! I try to be rational about things but affairs of the heart are difficult to be rational about. I'm a guy too so obviously the sex thing came up and I made it clear I only have sex with someone I really like and want to be with long term. He didn't run at that point so I guess he might be genuinely interested in me rather than just sex? I don't drink either so no chance of getting me drunk enough to sleep with him. I'll report back tonight.
I read through it again last night and there's a few typos I'll need to fix as well some outdated stuff. Then again, I'm am my own worst critic. Good luck!
As I outlined in the OP, it's fine if you haven't gotten a reply in a while from a girl whether you guys met up or not. 3 times really pushes it into pls respond territory.
So I got messaged by a dude on OKC today stating that he liked my profile and was looking for friends with a smiley face. His pic is long shot of himself in front of a mirror wearing a hoodie.
Red flag went off because guys have rarely messaged me there and even then, it was GAF members who looked at my profile for advice. I don't think I'm going to reply but I was going to say that he's on the wrong website looking for male friends which strikes me as being rather odd.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Well, no plans on Thursday - she thanked me for the sentiment, but mentioned that she had a work meeting that night. And then her parents are in town from Friday night until Sunday night. (Which means that I'm not participating in any weekend activities, even though we all spent the day together last time they were here.) She asked to see me next week, and after I suggested Monday, she said we could do that.
I am trying not to let my thoughts spiral and force myself to remain objective, but it's hard. I don't know how to deal well with the uncertainty. I really wanted to see her on Thursday, and now things are just pushed back more. There's no indication that things won't be okay, and even yesterday she said that she's got lots of time to work on herself and that she hopes it'll be good for us. Plenty of sporadic, positive texts -- misses me, recognizes that she has to be better, can't wait to see me in new clothes, etc.
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best?
That's about all you can do.
Are you seeing a therapist or talking to anybody regarding the issues she brought up? I'm no expert in women, but showing you took her problems to heart and are actively working on resolving them has to play well. Don't know if you've found a job yet, but you did have money earmarked towards a dinner and dress that just freed up...
Lone_Prodigy
Member
She seems to be (not-so-subtly) pushing you to also work on yourself by talking about how she's doing it. It doesn't seem like you'll break up (talks about children, "us", saying how she misses you, seemingly constant reassurances about your relationship) so I wouldn't try to let that dominate your thoughts or get you down.
I think, instead of thinking of ways to impress her and show her you care (I'm pretty sure she already knows), you might want to be devoting this time to yourself. Maybe catch up with an old friend, pick up that hobby that's fallen by the wayside, finish that game you've been meaning to finish, hit the gym more often, watch some sports, etc. While these are things that scream "moving on", think of it as a staycation from work: take the time to de-stress, then get back to it with a refreshing new perspective.
I think, instead of thinking of ways to impress her and show her you care (I'm pretty sure she already knows), you might want to be devoting this time to yourself. Maybe catch up with an old friend, pick up that hobby that's fallen by the wayside, finish that game you've been meaning to finish, hit the gym more often, watch some sports, etc. While these are things that scream "moving on", think of it as a staycation from work: take the time to de-stress, then get back to it with a refreshing new perspective.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Brilliant, really. And I mean that. I caught up with an old friend yesterday, and I'm planning on making productive use of my last week off by hitting some museums here, enjoying the summer and the scenery, and making a huge dent in Fire Emblem. I'm also updating my wardrobe because I've been hitting the gym so often. I'm also reconciling with my parents after a good long while, which is quite possibly the most monumental change. You're absolutely right, and I hope that others who are reading this saga can benefit from the advice you're offering.
I'm going to send congratulatory flowers on Thursday and enjoy the staycation.
Yeah, I start a contract gig on Monday that'll last until October or perhaps later. The job situation isn't quite as dire as it was before, plus I'm getting promoted in a month. That triggers health insurance, so I'm going to talk to a therapist as soon as the paperwork goes through and I obtain coverage. On the other hand, this isn't a solely me-thing; she clearly has things to work on too, and I hope that during this timeframe, she's been able to make progress.
Thanks, guys. I wish GS-CLE Game 3 were on tonight. Maybe I'll binge the new season of Archer!
TimeEffect
Member
So how do you guys feel about a match who is a different race than you, and seems to possibly only have race-exclusive friends?
A little nervous? Indifferent?
A little nervous? Indifferent?
ZackieChan
Member
Indifferent. I guess it depends on the specific racial dynamics, but what is there to be nervous about? (says the CIS gendered white American male)
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
She's just a match, and therefore not worth this kind of worrying at this point. Worry (if you're going to worry, that is, not that you should) when it becomes a date.
TimeEffect
Member
Ha, well im a minority and she's white and seems to have only white friends.. Im seeing her Thursday..maybe. We had a really solid convo, but it'd hard not to be a little self conscious
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Many people only have friends of their own race -- or more specifically, of those within the socioeconomic class of where they grew up or live (which often has a racial correlation). I know I do. That's to say I'm not receptive to those of other cultures. But don't feel self-consicous about it. It's often not due to intent but rather due to demographics and circumstance.
If anything, you should look at this as an opportunity to possibly expose her to another culture/background. She's probably interested in it! For instance, I'm dating a foreign girl and I find it fascinating to learn about her culture. While you should obviously make sure she treats you properly, it CAN be a plus. Obviously, if she treats you as a "novelty," nope.jpg right the fuck out of there, but this isn't a red flag.
So, another update with this, since I absolutely don't care about oversharing: the "time to myself" has taken a turn. I don't have a great relationship with my parents. We're not alike, at all, and I resented how they raised me: they didn't push me in any way, they didn't recognize signs of depression or frustration, and they didn't try to connect with me. I never wanted for food, shelter, or security, though.
I invited my mother to visit last week, and I let out all of my issues. It helped. She talked about her shitty childhood. I talked about the problems with mine. I told her over the phone today that I wished I had a relationship with my dad -- and I don't; we've never had a conversation in my entire life, and I'm 33. I talk to my mom multiple times a week, but never deeply or seriously until now. But him? Never.
She said that he wishes we had a relationship too, but he feels like I'm so far beyond him intellectually that it's so difficult for him. And so: I cried tonight. I never realized it was as hard for him as it was for me.
I'm visiting my parents and my ailing grandmother this week, and my "working on myself" task is reconciling with them and completely letting go of past frustrations.
TimeEffect
Member
Oh Im sure it's not a novelty thing. Actually Im being unfair. She has visited my country on some kind of student trip, and our conversation was kind of lengthy and more serious...as opposed to flirty and snappy like tinder convos tend to be.
She's a nice enough person, and Im being judgmental. But it's just a personal thing Im conscious about. It's not crippling or anything, just something that just crosses my mind
Thanks for the insight
FantasticMrFoxdie
Mumber
Now that i'm sort of seeing someone, my dating profile is blowing up. smh
such is life
such is life
ZackieChan
Member
I know that feel bro. Maybe not to this extent, but it's kind of been an issue my whole life. Around my early 30's, I broke through on a lot of family issues. It's been great. You can do it!
Also, you're still invited to ditch your life there and kick it with me for 6 months in Bangkok. If you can make $1000 a month online, you can live
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Good to hear. Naturally, I find it easier to give advice than to follow it. Since I started dating my girlfriend I've been more tired and stressed lately. I've also avoided the gym for months and have been neglecting my extracurriculars. I need to find a compromise between work, spending time with her, and my own free time.
My last vacation two months ago was more stressful than relaxing, so it didn't really feel like time off. I've been spending time with my friends and hers, and while I really don't mind, I'm an introvert whose social life has essentially doubled. Maybe I need to get her into video games.
However, my brother just recently moved away for work and she'll be flying home for the summer, so I'll have some more time to myself then.
New type of OKC bot encountered - one advertising a swinger hookup group. I guess I should be flattered? 'cept I'm not imagining a ton of sexy 20-somethings...
The month I pay of my last student loan, I'm gonna abuse my work-from-home privileges sooo hard. I don't even know if we still have an office...all I need is a wifi connection and I'm good.
I'm more jelly that you've gotten some level of family resolution. My sister became my guardian after my parents died, and she fucked up pretty seriously. I can write off most of it as she effectively become a mom to two teenagers in her late 20's. There's still one major thing that I want her to apologize for - she told my two brothers to stay away from us, as she "didn't want their sadness rubbing off on us". And then she lied to me and my little sister about why our brothers were no longer in our life.
Last time I tried asking for an apology, I was told I didn't know the whole story, while she simultaneously refused to tell the whole story. She placed the blame everywhere except on herself...
I know that feel bro. Maybe not to this extent, but it's kind of been an issue my whole life. Around my early 30's, I broke through on a lot of family issues. It's been great. You can do it!
Also, you're still invited to ditch your life there and kick it with me for 6 months in Bangkok. If you can make $1000 a month online, you can live
The month I pay of my last student loan, I'm gonna abuse my work-from-home privileges sooo hard. I don't even know if we still have an office...all I need is a wifi connection and I'm good.
I'm more jelly that you've gotten some level of family resolution. My sister became my guardian after my parents died, and she fucked up pretty seriously. I can write off most of it as she effectively become a mom to two teenagers in her late 20's. There's still one major thing that I want her to apologize for - she told my two brothers to stay away from us, as she "didn't want their sadness rubbing off on us". And then she lied to me and my little sister about why our brothers were no longer in our life.
Last time I tried asking for an apology, I was told I didn't know the whole story, while she simultaneously refused to tell the whole story. She placed the blame everywhere except on herself...
Dr. Kitty Muffins
Member
Have you ever sent a friend request and thought you were added only to realize your Facebook is following the girl's posts but you are not on her friends list? How does that happen?
The Hermit
Member
oh I didn't knew there was a thread for this.
Check out what happened to me:
Found girl on tinder, went out on a date, hooked up ( kiss close if you will), added on FB
One day after Kickoff matched me with another girl that was a friend of a friend of Girl 1 we went on a date the next day, KC too.
This is incredible.
I''ve spent years without kissing girls and now I had 3 in a week.
I am still struggling about sex, but that's probably because I am overthinking it.
Check out what happened to me:
Found girl on tinder, went out on a date, hooked up ( kiss close if you will), added on FB
One day after Kickoff matched me with another girl that was a friend of a friend of Girl 1 we went on a date the next day, KC too.
This is incredible.
I''ve spent years without kissing girls and now I had 3 in a week.
I am still struggling about sex, but that's probably because I am overthinking it.
victreeb3l
Member
Out of the 500 girls I saw on Tinder, I think I only liked on maybe 25 of them. I'm guessing the odds of these 25 girls viewing my profile (and liking back) is incredibly low since I'm in NYC and theres at least 2 million dudes on this app as well?
I gotta say I'm exhausted swiping left and right. Its addicting though. But the thought of going through a thousand or so profiles hoping a few of them saw you is mind numbing. I think I'll let it sit for a while and see what happens.
I'm not even going for crazy high standards either. Just so many girls have nothing on their profiles and it makes me feel like theyre bots or something. Some are super obvious with cropped lingerie pics and the like. Theres so many girls with frowns or nothing but group photos that I'm just noping the hell out of as well.
I guess its a numbers game? Maybe if I like 1000 girls, the chances will get higher? Ugh. I feel like I do much better in real life...
I gotta say I'm exhausted swiping left and right. Its addicting though. But the thought of going through a thousand or so profiles hoping a few of them saw you is mind numbing. I think I'll let it sit for a while and see what happens.
I'm not even going for crazy high standards either. Just so many girls have nothing on their profiles and it makes me feel like theyre bots or something. Some are super obvious with cropped lingerie pics and the like. Theres so many girls with frowns or nothing but group photos that I'm just noping the hell out of as well.
I guess its a numbers game? Maybe if I like 1000 girls, the chances will get higher? Ugh. I feel like I do much better in real life...
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I know that feel bro. Maybe not to this extent, but it's kind of been an issue my whole life. Around my early 30's, I broke through on a lot of family issues. It's been great. You can do it!
Also, you're still invited to ditch your life there and kick it with me for 6 months in Bangkok. If you can make $1000 a month online, you can live
Because I rescheduled my date for Thursday for next Monday, which is when I stat a new job, I actually went home today. My mother sent me an email that basically said, "Your father would love to have a relationship with you, but he can't communicate well because he thinks you're so intellectually beyond him." Heartbreaking shit. I never knew.
Told the girlfriend about it, and she's thrilled we're making an effort. I thanked her and said that she taught me family was important.
Here goes.
Pasta_Soup
Member
Dude, it's Tinder. Profiles are an afterthought to nearly everyone who uses it. If you're attracted to them at all, just swipe right. If it's a bot, then you'll know within the first message or two. Just un-match!
And a huge part of Tinder is playing part in the numbers game. Have some strong pictures and swipe away. I'd kill to be using Tinder in NYC, you have thousands and thousands of potential women you can meet and date. Throw in OkCupid and Coffee Meets Bagel, and you'll be overwhelmed (as long as you don't discount every girl who isn't alone and smiling in their profile picture) XD
Group shots can be annoying, but only if every single one of their pictures if a group shot and I can't tell which of the 7 girls is in every single photo - basically turns into a "Where's Waldo?" game.
When you like someone on Tinder you appear higher in their pile, so if they're frequent users they're going to see you soon. If they'll like you back is another matter though.
That's odd. Maybe she deleted it but you got subbed to it or maybe Facebook has a follow option on a person's profile so you might have accidentally clicked that.
Welcome! It sounds like you caught the beginning of the summer fling season. Depending on which country you live in, most girls are on summer vacation and looking for temporary love. Women come in waves so it looks like you caught a good one.
Also, as someone who overthinks about making out and all that jazz, I think the key is to relax, trust yourself, and go with the flow.
Damn son! As a fellow New Yorker who serves as your competition on Tinder, OKC, and CMB, I swipe right to girls 90% of the girls I get matched up with unless I'm not interested in them, their pics give off the impression of an attention whore, or read something about their profile I don't like. I reach the 100 swipe cap in a few minutes. I think you should lower your standards and swipe away.
I've had swipe runs where I've gotten no matches so it comes and it goes. Also, keep in mind that even if you get matches, women have the attention span of a goldfish (guys too if you're overwhelmed with matches and bouncing between several messages). You can tell if a profile is a bot because they don't have their Instagram linked to their bio or listed. Still, it's easy to report it and unmatch.
It seems super easy for me to get dates possibly because I'm on OKC and CMB which has been pretty damn hard for me to get matches in lately. But at the same time I'm overwhelmed by the amount of match messages I have on OKC. If you go to any drawing event, you'll meet girls left and right. Where in the city are you?
So I met up the with the Mexican girl from CMB in a bar in my neighborhood and I found her way too uptight for my tastes after a string of light dates. I tried to crack jokes but she would deflect them and came off as a smart-ass talking to me about the MLB's divisions (I'm a super casual sports fan but know enough to get me by) to which I played it dumb.
She's a SJW as she claimed in her profile; as soon as she came in she asked a group of dudes to scoot over to make room for her which was awkward. Then when I brought up Kobe Bryant retiring, she told me that she couldn't forgive him for being an accused rapist. I took 3 gulps of my beer from how awkward it was.
We had too many serious discussions and disagreements despite my best intentions to steer the conversations to a lighter note. If anything, it felt like I was being used for her to vent. Good thing I have a low alcohol tolerance and got a temporary buzz. The only saving grace was all the sports games that were on since she became a chatterbox about that stuff. I definitely will not contact her again but if I do, I'll put her down nicely.
From now on, any time I see social justice/anti-capitalist on a girl's profile, I'm staying far, far away. On the plus side, the bar was great so I'll be back there again in the near future since it's a cool sports bar. I'm looking forward to Friday's date since that girl sounds great and the banter has been fantastic.
And one last note, the dude who messaged me on OKC messaged me a second time. I don't know if I'm being trolled by a girl posing as a guy but it's weird.
When you like someone on Tinder you appear higher in their pile, so if they're frequent users they're going to see you soon. If they'll like you back is another matter though.
And to add to what Jokab said, it works the other way round as well of course. The girls that liked you will usually show up among the first 10 or so in the pile.
The Hermit
Member
It deep winter here! Really, I don't remember last time it was this cold here in Sao Paulo.
Anyway, I keep touching the girl very early in a non threatening way and slowly make it more comfortable. I don't overthink about kissing. I do think about sex, so maybe that's my fault.
victreeb3l
Member
I live in Queens but I work in Midtown. Do most of my Tindering from work so I think I'm getting matched with girls in Manhattan for the most part.
A lot of the girls that I'm passing up just dont seem interesting or I dont find attractive since theres nothing on their profiles or they have one or two pics that do nothing for me. I tend to run a quick "would I want a relationship with this person?" as I scan their profile. And now that I think about it, its probably a ridiculous thing to do when I no next to nothing about a person lol.
Thing is, I'm looking for something a little serious so I'm not sure if Tinder is the best place for it. Maybe I should spend most of my energy on OkC?
Whats a drawing event?
When you like someone on Tinder you appear higher in their pile, so if they're frequent users they're going to see you soon. If they'll like you back is another matter though.
Ah I see. I guess I should relax a bit and be more open minded! Treat it as something fun instead of something serious.
What kind of default profile pics do you guys use? My default is a head shot of me in a mountain but I'm squinting a bit in it. It looks dramatic and cool but I'm having second thoughts about it. Are selfies fine? What about a self portrait in better lighting / pose?
Your goal is to get pics that sell yourself. That typically means pics where you look damn good, or pics where you look damn interesting. Something that showcases your personality is good, something that'll separate yourself from the thousands of other single men in Manhattan is better.
If you go with a selfie, it better be the best damn pic in your profile. You have time to frame it, light it, and endlessly retake it.
If all else fails, use cute animals.
victreeb3l
Member
Got it. I have zero shame using my cat as a prop to find love! Haha.
Pasta_Soup
Member
It's totally cool if you're looking for something serious - there plenty of other girls on Tinder who are also looking for potential longer-term partners. But you need to approach it with a fun, lighthearted nature despite the level of seriousness you might ultimately be looking for.
Keep it fun and casual, and let it develop naturally. And be open-minded like you pointed out. You can meet tons of interesting people rather quickly if you play your cards right at the online dating game.
I'd suggest using OkCupid, too. It's more involved than Tinder, and you can gather more information about someone through their profiles - which is something you seem to be interested in!
ZackieChan
Member
I've found that Coffee Meets Bagel is full of girls who want something more serious. If serious is what you're seeking,though, you may be better off paying for a month or two of a paid site like Match.com or eHarmony.
ZackieChan
Member
Never even heard of it. You looking for a soul mate?
This was one of the most unique first dates I've had. First off, she'd coincidentally attended a few of my lectures last year and remembered who I was after a memory jog. Then she felt comfortable enough suggesting we head to a bar to meet up with her sister. Night ended with a quick hug and kiss, and she suggested we go out again when she gets back from her two week trip to Canada.
Two weeks, ugh. Well nothing to do but keep swiping
Two weeks, ugh. Well nothing to do but keep swiping
well it's just a name, but yeah I guess I am. I'm not looking for flings, that's for sure. Also the girls on there look pretty cute.
I saw that site while browsing the news lol, a news website with a dating service?! What's next, the Daily Mate. So far it doesn't let me register my email so I'm waiting for customer service.
