Support NeoGAF

[sprsk]

The Aristocrats: Everyone Who Sees this Movie, Will Love It

By filmmaker, Penn Jillette

That’s my goal. I want everyone who sees our movie, “The Aristocrats” to enjoy it. I really do. So far we’ve done a really good job. We’ve had only a few people walk out, and most everyone else seemed to have a great time. Certainly a higher percentage of people who’ve seen our movie liked it than the percentage of people who liked “Lord of the Rings.” One reason is that “Lord of the Rings” sucks and our movie is good. But more importantly, everyone is supposed to like “Lord of the Rings.” They made it for everyone, because everyone has all the money. We didn’t make “The Aristocrats” for everyone; we made it for our friends.

You can tell right away our flick ain’t for everyone. Our movie uses that four letter word that begins with “C.” Our movie uses that word a lot. A way lot. You know the word; it’s the word you say and everyone is automatically sexually harassed. A hostile work environment in one word. It’s the word that adults call “The C word” in front of other adults. Adults who say every other dirty word as every part of speech won’t say that goddamn C word. When Aristocrats say the C word in the movie, it’s worse than just using the C word. We don’t use it in anger or as a mere ejaculation. We don’t even use it as synecdoche. The Aristocrats mean it as the real thing. We’re not just using dirty words; we’re using dirty images, and dirty ideas. And even worse, we’re doing it just for fun. Just for a laugh. The movie’s not for everyone.

“Don’t say shit in front of a C. H. I. L. D.” - Kinky Friedman

Think of the most disgusting images you can. Think of the worst scatological and non-consensual sex you can. Imagine children. Imagine young children. Imagine children that are related to each other. Children who are related to you. Imagine animals. Young endangered animals who are related to each other. Young endangered animals who are related to you. Nope, you’re not even close. The movie has over 100 professionals. They are much more disgusting than you can ever be, that’s because they’re professionals.

The movie is a lot more than dirty words and disgusting images. The taboo language is not even the main thrust; the main thrust is a movie with no nudity, no violence, and no conflict. It’s a movie about laughing with your friends. It’s very political because it’s not political at all. The Aristocrats just take for granted they can say anything they want. Fighting for freedom is a losing battle. Taking liberty is what real Americans do. It’s a love story, it’s political, it’s patriotic, it’s funny, funny, funny, funny, funny, funny. But, you shouldn’t see it if you’ve ever been offended by any word ever ever.

If you’re going to be offended don’t bother coming. It was a cheap movie to make. We don’t need everyone’s money. We have other jobs. Our asses aren’t on the line. If you think you’re going to like this movie, please, you’re invited. If you’re in Vegas and you meet me, I’ll show it to you for free over my house. My wife and I will serve popcorn. But, if you you’ve EVER been offended by any joke, read a book, I suggest “Moby Dick.”

Michael Moore and Mel Gibson are the same person, except for a few sit-ups. Moore thought his cheesy political blooper reel was going to tell people how to vote. Mel thought that his little gay SM movie about his imaginary friend was going to help him get to heaven. George W. Bush is president and there’s still no god. You failed boys. Someone should have told Mike that the bad guys are smarter than him and someone should have told Mel that the Three Stooges were Jewish.

Both those filthy rich losers wanted EVERYONE to see their movies. Moore wanted the Republicans to be shocked by how wrong they were and see the light shining out of his fat ass. Mel went for straight off the rack proselytizing. They both just got even richer.

I’m already richer than I should be. I don’t want to shock or offend anyone who doesn’t enjoy being shocked and offended. I want to make people laugh and love life and love watching all my friends making each other laugh.

So, IF YOU HAVE EVER EVER EVER BEEN OFFENDED BY ANY JOKE – DO NOT SEE THE ARISTOCRATS! If you think you might be offended by our movie, why don’t you go see “Lord of the Rings?” (in other words: go to hell.)

And then -- everyone who sees our movie will love it.

This is an open letter to everyone interested in seeing the aristocrats. I cant wait to see the movie, personally.

 

[gigapower]

Michael Moore and Mel Gibson are the same person, except for a few sit-ups. Moore thought his cheesy political blooper reel was going to tell people how to vote. Mel thought that his little gay SM movie about his imaginary friend was going to help him get to heaven. George W. Bush is president and there’s still no god. You failed boys. Someone should have told Mike that the bad guys are smarter than him and someone should have told Mel that the Three Stooges were Jewish.

:lol

I think the movie is going to be great.

 

[border]

Trailer?

 

[Comfort_Eagle]

Rock on Penn, rock on.

 

[sprsk]

Trailer?

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/the_aristocrats.html

 

[Dan]

I can't wait to see it. I'm very glad it's finally getting a release. I guess it hits LA and NYC on July 29th and then other parts of the country on August 12th, probably with some staggering between that and afterwards.

 

[HokieJoe]

This is an open letter to everyone interested in seeing the aristocrats. I cant wait to see the movie, personally.

:lol

Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys. That fucker is hilarious.

 

[pnjtony]

SOuth park did thier own version of The Aristocrats joke but it never aired, for obvious reasons. I have the WMV but I don't wanna get banned for posting it. It's pretty filty....anyone think it'd be alright?

 

[Ned Flanders]

All the other seconds of my day feel wasted after reading that. I'll definitely check this out.

 

[Dan]

The South Park clip is in this movie.

 

[pnjtony]

awesome. I can't wait, though it probably won't make it in many theatres, not for too long anyways

 

[Drinky Crow]

Penn Gillette's a shitheel Randroid. Fuck him.

 

[JackFrost2012]

Randroid.

Does that mean Objectivist?

And I've been looking forward to this movie for months!

 

[Rlan]

Penn Gillette's a shitheel Randroid. Fuck him.

 

[kablooey]

Wow, I can practically hear him talking to me in that gif. :lol

 

[Drinky Crow]

He's an Objectivist, yeah. Big ol' devotee of every halfwit American's favorite man-jawed pop philosopher.

 

[JackFrost2012]

He's an Objectivist, yeah. Big ol' devotee of every halfwit American's favorite man-jawed pop philosopher.

I can't let a thread making fun of Objectivists go by without pasting this comic!

Still looking forward to The Aristocrats, though.

 

[White Man]

Objectivist or not, Penn's amusing, and this movie isn't politically charged, so we don't have to worry about anything eye-rollingly awful slipping in.

On a side note, I think pictures of Ayn Rand are what screwed up my sexuality. I probably lost my ability to visually differentiate between genders after seeing a picture of hir.

 

[Crandle]

He's an Objectivist, yeah. Big ol' devotee of every halfwit American's favorite man-jawed pop philosopher.

Is this actually true or are you conflating "libertarian" with "Objectivist"? Because Rand hated the former, along with basically everyone else who wasn't a member of her demented philosophical cult.

Anyway the movie sounds good but I wonder if it wouldn't get repetitive after a while.

 

[Drinky Crow]

http://www.mega.nu:8080/batf/www.boogieonline.com/revolution/politics/famous.html

He's spouted off about the wonders of Ayn Rand in public on several occasions.

Personally, I don't find South Park and Penn Gillette's pubescent-libertarian schtick funny, because it's all predicated on the juvenile notion that there's nothing worth caring about -- gussied-up teenaged misanthropy wrapped in a half-baked political ideology that refuses to acknowledge the very gravity with which our Founding Fathers regarded the freedom of speech. Such a freedom is there to give you the ability to fight for what you believe in within the public sphere and be guaranteed an ear, not to declare that you don't believe in anything and haw haw look at the stupid misguided fools who *do* care lolz.

Thomas Paine probably didn't consider the ability to scream N*GGER over and over part of "freedom of speech," no matter how hilariously rebellious a bunch of immature shitheels find it to be. Pissing on idols doesn't topple them; it just stinks the fucking place up.

 

[Lathentar]

The better show this at the Drafthouse in Austin.... the perfect movie for that type of environment.

 

[Ignatz Mouse]

The letter alone provided me entertainment value. I will see this.

 

[Squirrel Killer]

Penn Gillette's a shitheel Randroid. Fuck him.

Here's why you suck, Doug. And the McC on Qt3 too. It's a thread about a movie that's about a risque joke. But you can't check you massive political chip at the door and have to drag bullshit like this into an otherwise jovial thread.

It's a joke, laugh fucker, or shut the hell up. I don't want a rant about how the bourgeoisie oppress the proletariat rooster in forcing him to cross the street after a good "why did the chicken cross the road" joke. And I don't want to hear about the completely non-relevant political views of the movie's producer. (Obviously, however, his views on a political issue of free speech would be fair game.) It'd be like me saying "Drinky Crow works at Microsoft. Fuck him."

 

[Prospero]

Cast list from IMDB:

Chris Albrecht
Jason Alexander .... Himself
Hank Azaria .... Himself
Steven Banks .... Billy The Mime
Shelley Berman .... Himself
Lewis Black .... Himself
David Brenner .... Himself
Mario Cantone .... Himself
Drew Carey .... Himself
George Carlin .... Himself
Mark Cohen .... Himself
Billy Connolly .... Himself
Tim Conway .... Himself
Pat Cooper .... Himself
Wayne Cotter .... Himself
Andy Dick .... Himself
Frank DiGiacomo
Phyllis Diller .... Herself
Susie Essman .... Herself
Carrie Fisher .... Herself
Joe Franklin
Mike George .... Himself
Todd Glass .... Himself
Whoopi Goldberg .... Herself
Judy Gold .... Herself
Eddie Gorodetsky .... Himself
Gilbert Gottfried .... Himself
Dana Gould .... Himself
Allan Havey .... Himself
Eric Idle .... Himself
Dom Irrera .... Himself
Eddie Izzard .... Himself
Richard Jeni .... Himself
Penn Jillette .... Himself
Jake Johannsen .... Himself
Alan Kirschenbaum
Jay Kogen .... Himself
Sue Kolinsky .... Herself
Paul Krassner .... Himself
Cathy Ladman .... Herself
Lisa Lampanelli
Richard Lewis .... Himself
Wendy Liebman .... Herself
Bill Maher .... Himself
Howie Mandel .... Himself
Merrill Markoe .... Herself
Jay Marshall .... Himself
Jackie Martling .... Himself
Chuck McCann
Michael McKean .... Himself
Eric Mead
Larry Miller .... Himself
Owen Morse
Martin Mull .... Himself
Kevin Nealon .... Himself
Taylor Negron .... Himself
Rick Overton .... Himself
Gary Owens .... Himself
Trey Parker .... Himself
Otto Peterson .... Himself
Emo Philips .... Himself
Peter Pitofsky .... Himself
Kevin Pollak .... Himself
Paul Reiser .... Himself
Andy Richter .... Himself
Don Rickles .... Himself
Chris Rock .... Himself
Gregg Rogell .... Himself
Jeffrey Ross .... Himself
Jon Ross .... Himself
Rita Rudner .... Herself
Bob Saget .... Himself
T. Sean Shannon .... Himself
Harry Shearer .... Himself
Sarah Silverman .... Herself
Bobby Slayton .... Himself
Dick Smothers .... Himself (as The Smothers Brothers)
Tom Smothers .... Himself (as The Smothers Brothers)
Carrie Snow .... Herself
Doug Stanhope .... Himself
David Steinberg .... Himself
Jon Stewart .... Himself
Matt Stone .... Himself
Larry Storch .... Himself
Rip Taylor .... Himself
Teller .... Himself
The Amazing Johnathan .... Himself
Dave Thomas .... Himself
Johnny Thompson
Scott 'Carrot Top' Thompson .... Himself
Peter Tilden .... Himself
Bruce Vilanch .... Himself
Jonathan Wee
Fred Willard .... Himself
Robin Williams .... Himself
Steven Wright .... Himself

This is a must-see.

 

[Doth Togo]

This is an open letter to everyone interested in seeing the aristocrats. I cant wait to see the movie, personally.

I'll go see it.

 

[APF]

I can't let a thread making fun of Objectivists go by without pasting this comic!

Still looking forward to The Aristocrats, though.

Wait--wouldn't Objectivists love that sort of work, so long as they were paid a penny to do it?

I can't imagine this movie keeping pace for what, 1&1/2 hours, if it's just telling what's essentially the same joke one person after another. Will the repeated exposure to the grotesque and profane ultimately deaden your reaction, rather than continue to shock? Is that really the point?

 

[distantmantra]

I saw it at the Seattle International Film Festival back in May. I enjoyed it, but honestly, all the hype surrounding the offensiveness kind of ruined it for me.

 

[Musashi Wins!]

I don't remember Penn being a huge Objectivist guy, though I could see him making friendly comments toward them since he's a libertarian and very aggressively atheist.

Outside of that bickering though, I've always found them hilarious. I met Penn in Vegas when I lived there and he was really cool to speak to.

 

[human5892]

Anybody responsible for the show Bullshit is okay by me.

 

[Minotauro]

Carlin + Stanhope = me there opening night

 

[Ninja Scooter]

can someone explain what the "Aristocrats" joke is? I've never even heard of that. And what is the premise of this movie? Is it just a bunch of comedians telling dirty jokes?

 

[Whimsical Phil]

It's "Jillette", people. Penn Jillette. Not "Gillette".

 

[Squirrel Killer]

can someone explain what the "Aristocrats" joke is? I've never even heard of that. And what is the premise of this movie? Is it just a bunch of comedians telling dirty jokes?

The Wiki knows all: "The joke is something of a game in which the participant or participants try to top each other in terms of shock value." It even includes a fairly tame version of the joke.