I'm incorporating a lot of what I want to say about the series of phone conversations I've had with him.
I should preface by saying that I have the sense to leave things at a factual level as much as possible rather than open myself up to claims of defamation, which Paul has routinely thrown around while at once defaming others.
I agree with the notion that one does not negotiate with terrorists, which includes bullies. I say that because I have been strategically pacifying a bully for a couple of days now, and I'm done. Diplomacy has failed.
I've spoken to Paul many, many times over the last few days.
One of the main things that I've learned about him is that he is most concerned about the well-being of his wife and small child, along with his ability to make a living. I can respect and appreciate those things objectively. What I've also learned is that he is partial to protecting those interests without any consideration given to common courtesy or professional engagement.
Every comment regarding N-Control's separation from him was met with complaints to me centered around how N-Control was hurting his family and reputation. He insisted that he did the best thing that ever could have happened to the Avenger and N-Control. It is true that there are some positive vibes coming out of this, but I don't think it's inaccurate to say that the majority of that has all resulted from the damage control I put in place on N-Control's behalf. If you take his actions and delete me or someone doing what I've been doing, there is no turnaround in the first place, much less the huge upswing in sales he is imagining far off into the future. I categorically reject the notion that he can take credit for any of my work, forever and ever amen.
I played nicer than necessary over the last two days, and gave him a chance to do the right thing (return control of Avenger's email addresses, website, and other assets). The worst thing to do is make demands of someone issuing ultimatums when you want something out of them that they know they can use against you. At every step, I was told by Paul that "I like you and everything, and you're reasonable and just trying to do your job, but if they don't do what I say, things are gonna get ugly."
The first day, I told him that if he chose to speak to the press and speak on behalf of N-Control, that all bets were off. He has done that countless times now, and he's been more than warned, and I honestly believe that he doesn't realize that he's doing it. In that early chat, he told me "don't you fucking threaten me! You don't know who the fuck you're dealing with! I will do things to you that you cannot imagine, they are so fucking bad! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M CAPABLE OF!"
I think I know exactly what he's capable of: yelling and intimidation, with no real intent to follow through, The great thing about bullies is that when you've dealt with enough of them, you realize they're all configured the same way, generally speaking.
I was extensively bullied as a kid. Paul's methods and personality are very familiar to me. I think it should be pretty obvious that it indeed "got better" for me.
I de-escalated the conversation with techniques that I learned while caring for children. I reassured him that no one was out to get him, and that he just couldn't lash out like that or no one would want to play with him.
I should note that I don't care if he considers any of this condescending, especially considering the patronizing tone he's taken with me in every conversation we've had.
In our conversations, he has compared himself to no less than Howard Stern and Charlie Sheen. He has proclaimed himself to be the biggest thing on the internet, and has repeatedly touted how much power he thinks he now has with the press. He told me tonight "if they fuck with me, I got all these websites all over me. Whatever I tell them to write, they write." He says that he has a TV interview with SPIKE TV next week. I look forward to him telling them what to do and what to edit into their coverage.
Tonight, he reiterated that in unmistakable, forceful terms. His abrupt swings in tone and mood were astoundingly rapid. He told me he would burn the company to the ground and destroy everyone associated with it, including me, he regretted to inform me. "I know you're just a guy doing a job and you don't know any better. I'm gonna ruin your life if I have to."
Most people would have the urge to destroy him after being told that. Of course, that would only need to be said if he hadn't already done such a capable job of that himself. That's the part of the press release I wrote that I think he really didn't get: he needs to stop hurting himself, and consequently his family. He's making everything worse every time he opens his mouth, and for his family's sake, I wish he would stop. I'd be amazed if he can make himself look any worse, but I don't put that past him.
I hope that people stop giving him attention, because they're just feeding the beast. As for me, I'm done speaking with him on the phone.
His company doesn’t deserve any of the backlash or this trouble.
