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[Sakura]

I don't think it is right to be bullied over your height. It's not something you can control.
But when it comes to dating you can't really do anything about what people find attractive, it's entirely personal preference, and I don't think it is wrong for a girl to say they want to date taller guys.

 

[Uno Venova]

The same thing nice guys think they're entitled too.

Folks have standards. Other folks need to understand that and move on.

So entitled to women then? And you’ve seen that in this thread?

 

[-COOLIO-]

The same thing nice guys think they're entitled too.

Folks have standards. Other folks need to understand that and move on.

Maybe I missed it somewhere between page 5 and 13, but has anyone in this thread said that people aren't allowed to or shouldn't have physical preferences when dating?

I for one think it should be fine for people to say that they aren't interested in overweight people on their dating profiles, but I recognize the double standard when it comes to height discrimination being accepted. I think they should both be accepted as well as stating dating preferences for any other physical attribute or disability.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

So entitled to women then? And you’ve seen that in this thread?

"Constant rejection" quotes and people posting double standard photos, yeah.

 

[-COOLIO-]

I don't think it is right to be bullied over your height. It's not something you can control.
But when it comes to dating you can't really do anything about what people find attractive, it's entirely personal preference, and I don't think it is wrong for a girl to say they want to date taller guys.

I completely agree, but the assertion that it's generally seen as okay to explicitly list height preferences but not okay to list weight/bust/skin preference is true.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

I completely agree, but the assertion that it's generally seen as okay to explicitly list height preferences but not okay to list weight/bust/skin preference is true.

Whatcha talking about? Men fat shame women all the time. Overweight and obese women have to go threw so much shit online and it gets worse during the dating process.

 

[-COOLIO-]

"Constant rejection" quotes and people posting double standard photos, yeah.

It's a leap to assume that someone talking about being constantly rejected because they're 5'0 means that they feel women are supposed to look past their height. You can complain about the circumstances of your life without feeling like it's necessarily unfair or wrong.

 

[Knugen]

6' 3" here, felt like a giant when I was living in Japan.

Spoiler

Wish I was taller, I want to break that 2 meter barrier.

 

[Uno Venova]

"Constant rejection" quotes and people posting double standard photos, yeah.

Oh so you've read between the lines to assume they're entitled to women.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

It's a leap to assume that someone talking about being constantly rejected because they're 5'0 means that they feel women are supposed to look past their height. You can complain about the circumstances of your life without feeling like it's necessarily unfair or wrong.

Naw. It's entitlement.

Oh so you've read between the lines to assume they're entitled to women.

That is what happens. People who whine about constant rejection tend to be in the entitled area. Folks aint dating cause of your height.

 

[Monkeyball]

I'm 6'2" and it's pretty neat. Except when people at the grocery store ask me to get things for them on the top shelf.

Also hotel shower heads are placed way too low. I have to crouch down to rinse.

At 6 2? At 6 6 I don't have these issues, where you living?

 

[Sakura]

I completely agree, but the assertion that it's generally seen as okay to explicitly list height preferences but not okay to list weight/bust/skin preference is true.

I do agree that I don't think double standards are OK. Especially considering weight is something far more controllable than height.

 

[-COOLIO-]

Whatcha talking about? Men fat shame women all the time. Overweight and obese women have to go threw so much shit online and it gets worse during the dating process.

Fat shaming may be common but it's seen as wrong. In fact, it's so wrong that it has the term "fat-shaming". People openly discuss their preferences toward height but don't do so about weight because the latter is considered immoral and uncouth.

 

[DongBeetle]

Whatcha talking about? Men fat shame women all the time. Overweight and obese women have to go threw so much shit online and it gets worse during the dating process.

Is it okay for that to happen? If a fat person made a thread exactly like this, would you be calling them entitled or telling them to get over it? When I made a post about the effects bullying have when it comes to mental illness and how mental illness isn't an easy thing to deal with, you responded with an oh so hilarious quip about dating. I don't exactly understand your intentions here.

A lot of these replies are extremely strange. Some of them seem vaguely personally bothered or resentful that people would complain about this specific subject

 

[-COOLIO-]

Naw. It's entitlement

If I say I'm poor and can't afford an oled tv, I'm entitled?

 

[Subpar Spatula]

Fat shaming may be common but it's seen as wrong. In fact, it's so wrong that it has the term "fat-shaming". People openly discuss their preferences toward height but don't do so about weight because the latter is considered immoral and uncouth.

Cause height isn't a huge disadvantage as weight, race, or disability. Sure, it happens but there's this super vocal group who want to let the world know just how bad they're treated. The most common way is through dating about how they're undatable because of their height. Which is fucking untrue.

Even the negatives in the business world are miniscule.

 

[AyaisMUsikWhore]

This thread is pretty much quarterly on GAF. Some men get caught up on heightism being disrespectful but if you ask some of them if they like black women or dark skinned women (which is also something that's deemed a "preference", a prejudice and has a much larger stigma) it's defended the same way people who don't like short people explain it. Including all the stereotypes.

Heightism is a problem just like others in the same boat but the real issue is standards and that's where it always will be. I guess the reason why heightism is something so much easier to say out loud is because at least you still get a pass if you are attractive or decent. Women are mostly attracted to personality and some will make the sacrifice of height and weight to be with that person.....can't say the same for men though.

Cause height isn't a huge disadvantage as weight, race, or disability. Sure, it happens but there's this super vocal group who want to let the world know just how bad they're treated. The most common way is through dating about how they're undatable because of their height. Which is fucking untrue.

Even the negatives in the business world are miniscule.

Exactly, Thank you.

 

[Nia]

I'm 5'3, but I really only get comments about it from my friends in a joking manner. They're all taller than me. Sometimes I do feel like I'm with giants when we're in the same room. I'm fortunate I haven't ran into anyone that's been an ass about it. Also helps I'm not really concerned with dating I suppose.

 

[MikeyB]

Height discrimination sucks.

I am 6'5" and I am pretty sure that the height has helped my career and also made me marginally more attractive to the ladies.

That being said, very few things are designed for people my height. I walk into clothing stores, "do you carry size 14?", "do you have 36" inseams?", "do you have 38" sleeves?" - typically no. Even major labels like Levi's are phasing out longer inseams in a variety of lot numbers/styles.

I just got off a 14 hour flight. The seat in front of me touches my knees, reclinging slides the seat forward, and the folding table won't fold all the way down without touching the top of my legs. The suitcase' retractable handle is not long enough to make pulling it comfortable or stable.

When I go to work on Monday, I will have to duck through transit doors and within the subway. When I am at work, the keyboard tray jams into my thighs. When I get home and prepare dinner, I have to stoop because the counters are just slightly too low.

There are comparable issues with extreme shortness but they are more easily addressed.

 

[petran79]

Unless you plan to work in the military, police or commercial navy, it can be overlooked

 

[-COOLIO-]

Cause height isn't a huge disadvantage as weight, race, or disability. Sure, it happens but there's this super vocal group who want to let the world know just how bad they're treated. The most common way is through dating about how they're undatable because of their height. Which is fucking untrue.

Even the negatives in the business world are miniscule.

If height isn't a big deal then why do shorter people feel bothered enough to complain in the first place? If it's not a big deal, why is defending the right to explicitly reject men for their height so important to do? And once again, for the record, I think people should be able to list any physical preference they have without judgement, but I do find this particular double standard amusing.

And I'm not sure I buy weight being much more of a disadvantage than height. But I'm sure all these factors work on shifting scales. Being just 20lbs overweight probably is objectively less detrimental than being 1ft below average height.

 

[wandering]

Nobody actually looks down on (lol) or "other's" or is prejudice against short people, it's a fucking ridiculous notion.

That's pretty naive.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

And I'm not sure I buy weight being much more of a disadvantage than height.

You should do some research.

 

[-COOLIO-]

This thread is pretty much quarterly on GAF.

Maybe it keeps coming up because it kind of, sort of is a problem, and we should listen?

 

[-COOLIO-]

You should do some research.

Likewise?

 

[clav]

Not acceptable, but we live in a society that protects privilege. People who don't understand why short people are complaining are basically laughing to make themselves feel better.

Replace short people with a different discrimination that people say in society is not an issue and think.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

Likewise?

See. You're not going to get anywhere playing this game. There are many sources for how awful overweight people are treated in many aspects of life. Same with race and disability. Telling me "likewise" just shows how ignorant you are on the topic and want to play the high ground (which sounds nice) until you say something stupid like "I don't believe weight is worse than height".

We see your game. It's poorly done.

 

[Condom]

Naw. It's entitlement.

That is what happens. People who whine about constant rejection tend to be in the entitled area. Folks aint dating cause of your height.

Isn't it more a lack of entitlement? One who feels confident and entitled to having a relationship/sex is more likely to succeed.

What you are complaining about is neediness and I'm not sure if you can blame people who are desperate, you can help them to improve though. Or maybe it's too much entitlement? Turning it in a bad thing?

 

[Anarion07]

I promised myself I wouldn't entertain ridiculous arguments that try to compare being short to actual discrimination but...

My point is, being short is a problem of self-preception and social inhibitions. As was discussed earlier in the thread, dudes are going to clown on dudes, if you're short you'll get clowned on, if you're bald, if you're fat, etc etc. It sure sucks that you can't get over normal social interactions, but maybe that's a problem you need to explore with a therapist.

Nobody actually looks down on (lol) or "other's" or is prejudice against short people, it's a fucking ridiculous notion.

####

Oh left handed people make less money over their lifetimes too, lets start an awareness campaign

Do you need more? Because there is a lot more

 

[DongBeetle]

Not acceptable, but we live in a society that protects privilege. People who don't understand why short people are complaining are basically laughing to make themselves feel better.

Replace short people with a different discrimination that people say in society is not an issue and think.

People will ignore posts like these and continue with the incessant shitposting and funny one liners. See, it's not about who has it the absolute worst out of everyone discriminated or marginalized. It's how some forms of bullying are tolerated but others are not and how the targets of said bullying are laughed at and mocked in this thread rather than seriously discussed.

Really really short people are seen as funny and comical, not to be taken seriously. It may explain why statistically they are not taken very seriously in the business world.

 

[Uno Venova]

See. You're not going to get anywhere playing this game. There are many sources for how awful overweight people are treated in many aspects of life. Same with race and disability. Telling me "likewise" just shows how ignorant you are on the topic and want to play the high ground (which sounds nice) until you say something stupid like "I don't believe weight is worse than height".

We see your game. It's poorly done.

I'm sure there are sources for how awful short people are treated too. We can keep going back and forth until people start posting sources.

 

[Captain Skeleton]

Do you need more? Because there is a lot more

I don't get it. 5 10 is the average height therefore not short.

 

[Subpar Spatula]

People will ignore posts like these and continue with the incessant shitposting and funny one liners. See, it's not about who has it the absolute worst out of everyone discriminated or marginalized. It's how some forms of bullying are tolerated but others are not and how the targets of said bullying are laughed at and mocked in this thread rather than seriously discussed.

Really really short people are seen as funny and comical, not to be taken seriously. It may explain why statistically they are not taken very seriously in the business world.

No one's tolerating shit. We just know how this works: someone makes a height thread, it's then peppered with slants against women for disliking short guys, then people discuss different types of discrimination, someone posts that stupid video of the guy making a documentary about short guy problems that focuses a lot on dating, people posting images of mostly women disliking short guys, some arguing height discrimimation is as or worse than other more serious types of discrimination, and an eerie scent of entitlement in general (mostly for dating). No one is going to purposely bully anyone and actually cause them harm here, the mods would nip that in the bud quickly. If someone is truly upset and depressed about their height then they need to seek help, and I'm sure there are plenty here who would talk to people in full. This is not what anyone sees here. It's all woe is me and "dating sucks". Very little discussion about actual stories or stats. You have to be more compelling is all.

 

[Anarion07]

I don't get it. 5 10 is the average height therefore not short.

Then imagine what people around 5'6 have to deal with

 

[Boy Wander]

No one's tolerating shit. We just know how this works: someone makes a height thread, it's then peppered with slants against women for disliking short guys, then people discuss different types of discrimination, someone posts that stupid video of the guy making a documentary about short guy problems that focuses a lot on dating, people posting images of mostly women disliking short guys, some arguing height discrimimation is as or worse than other more serious types of discrimination, and an eerie scent of entitlement in general (mostly for dating). No one is going to purposely bully anyone and actually cause them harm here, the mods would nip that in the bud quickly. If someone is truly upset and depressed about their height then they need to seek help, and I'm sure there are plenty here who would talk to people in full. This is not what anyone sees here. It's all woe is me and "dating sucks". Very little discussion about actual stories or stats. You have to be more compelling is all.

I don't see any compelling posts from you other than the usual deal with it type stuff.

 

[MogCakes]

If you want the thread to die, I think you might want to step out and stop bumping it. It's not going to stop it though. Why you need to bring that to me specifically given my position is curious.

I'm not advocating for the thread's death, that was my observation of you.

 

[SummitAve]

Then imagine what people around 5'6 have to deal with

Kids hating on them on twitter? That just looks like some random anecdotal evidence from anonymous people where they can and will say anything. I have NEVER heard, seen, or even been told about such an attitude in real life.

 

[-COOLIO-]

No one's tolerating shit. We just know how this works: someone makes a height thread, it's then peppered with slants against women for disliking short guys, then people discuss different types of discrimination, someone posts that stupid video of the guy making a documentary about short guy problems that focuses a lot on dating, people posting images of mostly women disliking short guys, some arguing height discrimimation is as or worse than other more serious types of discrimination, and an eerie scent of entitlement in general (mostly for dating). No one is going to purposely bully anyone and actually cause them harm here, the mods would nip that in the bud quickly. If someone is truly upset and depressed about their height then they need to seek help, and I'm sure there are plenty here who would talk to people in full. This is not what anyone sees here. It's all woe is me and "dating sucks". Very little discussion about actual stories or stats. You have to be more compelling is all.

Not every thread on a subject goes the same way. I totally think women not dating dudes because of their height is fine, yet I still recognize the double standard that height gets as a physical attribute and find it interesting.

 

[DongBeetle]

No one's tolerating shit. We just know how this works: someone makes a height thread, it's then peppered with slants against women for disliking short guys, then people discuss different types of discrimination, someone posts that stupid video of the guy making a documentary about short guy problems that focuses a lot on dating, people posting images of mostly women disliking short guys, some arguing height discrimimation is as or worse than other more serious types of discrimination, and an eerie scent of entitlement in general (mostly for dating). No one is going to purposely bully anyone and actually cause them harm here, the mods would nip that in the bud quickly. If someone is truly upset and depressed about their height then they need to seek help, and I'm sure there are plenty here who would talk to people in full. This is not what anyone sees here. It's all woe is me and "dating sucks". Very little discussion about actual stories or stats. You have to be more compelling is all.

What do you want that's compelling? I've been called or asked if I'm a midget in social situations and at work by customers. I've been called Napoleon when angry, shorty, etc. Same thing with my grandma who has faced similar things for being several inches shorter than the female average. I've rarely seen many issues resulting in "go to therapy and deal with it" on here like I have with this one. There are statistics that show that short height can result in thousands of dollars lost. Sorry for any typos or anything, I'm on mobile

I just don't understand why so many people here are against serious discussion on the matter

 

[Morrigan Stark]

goddamn you sound short too

I'm 5'5

Spoiler

and female

Also, you aren't funny. I'd rather date a funny short dude than a tall idiot.

Do you need more? Because there is a lot more

Twitter is your "evidence"? lmao

 

[D i Z]

I'm not advocating for the thread's death, that was my observation of you.

Your observation was that I've been participating in the thread for a while? How very astute of you.

 

[Crayon]

There is short then there's short. I'm short (like 5-8) but not enough to draw attention. A few inches shorter and I would be noticeably uncommonly short.

 

[AyaisMUsikWhore]

Maybe it keeps coming up because it kind of, sort of is a problem, and we should listen?

I'm not denying or saying it cannot be discussed....but this whole thing seems like while you are annoyed that your height gives you a disadvantage in the dating world, I have also seen y'all dismissing other factors such as weight, disability and race that are also disadvantages.

Being short doesn't make you automatically undesirable the way that being fat, or in a wheelchair, or missing a limb, or being darker skin or having a a specific occupation is. I'm not saying you can't complain about it but this conversation always teeters on the line of being more mad at women for having these standards while in the same breath, some of these same short men won't even see themselves dating any one from any of those same other marganizlized groups.

If the discussion was simply about, hey being short in the business world and the stereotypes that go along with it is fucked up...then yes, short people have it bad. They also have it bad in the dating world, but it's not AS bad as other groups who literally get the worst end of the stick. You can be short and still be desired. Other people are still shitted on for stuff they haven't been able to control for centuries.... I'm not saying seek help, but having some self reflection on y'all opinions about y'all beauty standards is also fair game as well.

 

[Crayon]

Aya has got this.

 

[D i Z]

I'm not denying or saying it cannot be discussed....but this whole thing seems like while you are annoyed that your height gives you a disadvantage in the dating world, I have also seen y'all dismissing other factors such as weight, disability and race that are also disadvantages.

Being short doesn't make you automatically undesirable the way that being fat, or in a wheelchair, or missing a limb, or being darker skin or having a a specific occupation is. I'm not saying you can't complain about it but this conversation always teeters on the line of being more mad at women for having these standards while in the same breath, some of these same short men won't even see themselves dating any one from any of those same other marganizlized groups.

If the discussion was simply about, hey being short in the business world and the stereotypes that go along with it is fucked up...then yes, short people have it bad. They also have it bad in the dating world, but it's not AS bad as other groups who literally get the worst end of the stick. You can be short and still be desired. Other people are still shitted on for stuff they haven't been able to control for centuries.... I'm not saying seek help, but having some self reflection on y'all opinions about y'all beauty standards is also fair game as well.

Annnnd we're done here.

 

[MogCakes]

Your observation was that I've been participating in the thread for a while? How very astute of you.

More that since you are someone who has posted a lot here without actually saying much besides joking around, it was funny seeing you post that.

 

[Cromat]

Nah, but if you say you're 6'4" and then show up to the date as 5'10" they're gunna be a bit pissed.

You can add it to your profile.

Surely if you are shorter than average you can just not mention it?

 

[FunkyPajamas]

Being short doesn't make you automatically undesirable the way that being fat, or in a wheelchair, or missing a limb, or being darker skin or having a a specific occupation is.

You can check my other posts in the thread if you want to know my position on the topic, but right now, I disagree with the quoted. If we're talking about dating (and it seems you are based on the rest of your post), I don't think there's a single trait (physical or otherwise) that will make someone 100% un-dateable. There are traits that, depending on the cultural/societal norms of the country you inhabit, will get you "filtered" by a certain number of people, automatically, no questions asked. Is it a majority of people? I don't know (probably not).

With that said, height is definitely one of those traits. If by "automatically undesirable" you actually meant "universally undesirable" then neither of the other traits you mentioned apply either. If by "automatically undesirable" you meant "automatically undesirable to a certain number of people" then I also disagree, since short height (just as the other traits) is most definitely a filter for some people. I believe that those people have the right to that preference; dating is a privilege, not a right, so short people (that includes me btw) are not entitled to being given a chance or whatever.

I don't mind being filtered because of my height when it comes to dating. I have preferences myself, and wouldn't date someone outside of my preferences, whether they are considered shallow or not by others, it's my personal taste when it comes to looking for a partner or someone fun to spend time with, etc. The whole "manlet" thing actually makes me laugh, like, I can't believe people use that term. I would definitely be insulted if someone were to make fun of my height in a professional or social setting, but that's mainly because I'm 40 now and I expect people to behave like adults, not like children.

People on Twitter are being assholes, that's nothing new. Definitely not "harassment", and definitely not comparable to racism or other types of prejudice, in my opinion.

Aya has got this.

Annnnd we're done here.

Nah. Not quite, not by a long shot.

Surely if you are shorter than average you can just not mention it?

In my country, where I'm just below average, I don't mention it in my profile, but people still ask. Some have mentioned it's a deal breaker, so I say my goodbyes and that's it. Some have mentioned it's ok, and so the conversation continues. Some haven't even asked.

In a country like America where I would be several inches below not only average but what's considered desirable, I would most definitely include it in my profile, so only people that don't care about that would "swipe right" or whatever.

 

[D i Z]

More that since you are someone who has posted a lot here without actually saying much besides joking around, it was funny seeing you post that.

See, now being disabled or over weight for a variety of reasons isn't really the same thing, and I don't quite understand why those two and racism equate to being below the national average height. I get the social underpinnings of it, but the willingness to kick rocks and treat it like it's debilitating... probably why a lot of folks are having trouble getting those dates to begin with.
.

I've had many conversations with dudes about this subject over years. Before there was ever a disclaimer on dating sites about height there was always one thing that was common in all of those conversations. Back then people had to actually see a person in the flesh before rolling over in their head what they were actually looking for. They weren't flipping though photos like they were furniture shopping. The insecurity of the dude was the same back then. Only it used to be "she's too tall". Seriously would hear that from practically everyone. Different way of looking at the same insecurity, but now women can actually say what they want and not have their time wasted.

And there's the rub. While dudes are now getting salty about women exercising their rights to choose their partners really for the first time with some support, women still have to work harder in other ways to get ahead if they aren't in the established desirable brackets.

One of the reasons I feel that this male navel gazing is preposterous. The double standard is to transparent. Guys complain about women who are shorter than them not wanting to date someone outside of their height preference. Same guys wouldn't date a lady who is taller than them, for much of the same reasoning.

I was thinking in the more social not just dating, and economical race to get ahead. All things being equal outside of "universally unattractive" I think that there is quite a bit of equal footing as you suggest in a society that demands little or nothing. But we're all beholden to some degree on social standards and norms, of which there are fewer for men than there are for women. The rules are just not the same.




I mean, what do you want us to do? It's a large part of the OP.



For the most part, yes. Most guys of any height have trouble with this. Plenty of testimony right here in this thread if you don't want to hear my stories about it.

I get some of the complaints about how these topics become a dick measuring contest for oversized geeks. Shorter dudes should understand that they are probably doing as well as a vast majority of taller dudes showing up in here just to ignore the topic. As in life, it's all talk, no action.

Now. Let's see your contributions to the topic other than you side eyeing me.

 

[Budi]

Kids hating on them on twitter? That just looks like some random anecdotal evidence from anonymous people where they can and will say anything. I have NEVER heard, seen, or even been told about such an attitude in real life.

Those people aren't real? Are they bots?