what setting you use then?
I assume you're playing in a party for this. There's not a magic setting. You use the rocker button on the front of your left ear to adjust the level of game sound vs party sound. Some people talk quieter or just have a mic that is harder to hear.
If you click up on the rocker, it will make the game sound louder with the tradeoff of party chat being quieter. If you click it down, the reverse.
I use this in combination with the overall volume (rocker button on the back of left ear) to get it where it needs to be. Generally if I'm with somebody harder to hear I adjust it so the party chat is slightly too quiet for my liking, then raise the overall volume a notch or two. This does make the game itself louder than I would normally have it at if I weren't playing a game with party chat, but it lets me hear everybody without sacrificing the important game sounds.
You need to get used to the controls and be able to adjust them on the fly in the middle of rounds when necessary. If you want my specific settings I will zero it out and count the number of presses for you, but how you like it probably won't be the same as how I like it.
As others have said, if people are yelling unhelpful call outs over the top of your game volume or screaming about how unfairly they died for 30 seconds after they died, you're still going to have trouble, but that's not a problem with Golds either.