Though whomever did the subtitles for the game didn't agree with you!
I think some people (on both sides of the fence) missed the point of my stupid little video. That is to say, there wasn't much of one. Nobody should be judging the game's quality based off me trying to break the game. I guess people would rather just outright avoid a game because someone said something bad about it, or conversely, go all pitchfork at those who say the bad things. Some dudes here don't seem to have a middle ground.
So, more about the game now I've been dicking around on the other side of the island.
- I have a gun now. Much like the sand, its chances of hitting enemies are based off your stats. So you end up in ludicrous situations where you've missed hitting a target right in front of you. I think I already said this in a previous post.
- The game has next to no load times when you're running about, which is actually really amazing. Even the Witcher 2 stopped to load after exiting a city or something. In this game I can just duck into a cave and it'll go, even without resorting to camera trickery by placing doors between each area.
- I'm starting to feel morally bankrupt due to the sheer amount of animal slaughter in this game. Like, I'm talking to this pirate to convince him to do something for me, but I only have 900 gloary. So I exit out, take a hundred metre run, slaughter an entire family of monkeys - passive baby monkeys included - and return, well vested in the art of speech. Video games!
- The quests so far are pretty terrible. The voice acting is great, mind you. But the actual quest actions are rubbish. For example, one quest seemed right out of every MMO to ever exist. I had to go and kill 10 WORKERS TERMITES and 3 COMBAT TERMITES, collect 7 bags of sugar from them (in a nearby cave), and then return to the quest giver. Every time I killed them I got a little popup marking my progress, and every time it happened it reminded me of World of Warcraft or some other equally bad game. A lot of other quests end up being the fetchquest type. I'm not really sure what I expected, as this structure is pretty typical in every other RPG (e.g., Skyrim) but it's just not really doing much for me.
- Combat with nonhumans is still god awful. You know what's funny? When you first enter combat in the game, it gives you two things. It tells you how to execute a three hit combo (by hitting the one attack button you have, three times) and it tells you to parry. It tells you this immediately before - seconds, in fact - attacking your first group of enemies. Parry does absolutely nothing to them. It teaches you a mechanic immediately before facing a situation where the mechanic will get you killed if you try it. So, back at my point, you cannot block non-human enemies because they do not use swords. Fair enough. This just means that the entirety of combat against nonhuman enemies, from monkeys to spiders to jaguars to termites is spamming the mouse1 button over, and over and over.
- Combat with humans is still god awful. For pretty much the opposite reasons. All you do is permanently hold the block button down, and you parry every single attack except the occasional one the game won't let you because ???? design choices. Now, I've been grinding out quests so that human combat is mind numbingly easy. But even still, it's just holding down the block button, and when you get a free moment (and by "get" I mean "the enemy attacks you at random so now's as good a time as any") you do the three hit combo on them. Sometimes now I can use my gun. Most of the times it misses, but when it doesn't, it takes off like five times as much as my sword. So that makes combat go faster, I suppose, which is the thing you'd want it to do.
- There seems to be no penalty at all for walking into someone's house, beating them senseless and stealing all of their things. At least in the pirate area. So, you don't seem to be able to kill NPCs while fighting, as once they drop down to 1/20th health they fall to the ground and become passive. This allows you to just rob them of their belongings. When they come to, and stand up, they have the text "OFFENDED" above their heads. Walking away for a few minutes restores this to normal. I had fought the gun dealer in the pirate area, stolen all his shit, went off to kill some native wildlife, come back 5 minutes later and he's right as rain and wants to sell me some guns and do the world's most terrible duckhunt minigame. Weird.
- Oh jesus the minigames. There's a drinking minigame where you have to click some bottles. The bottles don't move. They're just there, in front of you. You have a cursor. Each bottle you click makes a filter apply to your screen, but the bottles are still entirely visible. Sometimes, at random, you will not pick up a bottle and you will have to wait for 3-4 seconds for one to materialise in front of you. Then you click it. That is the minigame.
- Conversely, the duck hunt minigame is SO FUCKING HARD. You get bottles thrown across your screen and you have to click on them. I guess all my clicking on stationary objects ruined me, because I totally sucked at this game. I still won, somehow, despite clearly breaking the guy's own rules for how the game was played (if you miss three in a row he's supposed to fail you - yet I missed eight in a row and he was fine. Pirates can't count, maybe?)
- I threw a coconut at a monkey.
- Also, if you throw a coconut at something, you have forever lost that coconut. I don't think this is how coconuts work. Game balance!
- The load times are terrible. Thankfully I only seem to load after jumping off things to my death. Something like 15 seconds on an otherwise competent computer.
I still kind of like this game, even if I can't think of many reasons as to why I do. It's nice to look at, the voice acting is alright, and mindless animal slaughter is appealing in a Two Worlds 2 kind of way.
So, there's that. I think more people should post impressions of this game, because I am certainly not doing the best job at selling people it. As much as I hate the phrase, the game is definitely "more than the sum of its parts". Because its parts are mostly rubbish, but as an experience it's certainly still enjoyable. So, it has that going for it!
EDIT: Fuck why is this mess on the fifth page.
