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Seeking GAF life direction advice (of love and possible futures)

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Alucard

Banned
I could potentially be facing a pretty big decision in my life...and it's coming up in only a few short months. I'm a little scared and confused.

I'm in my 3rd year of a 4 year honours program at university. (contemporary studies) I have one year left after this one.

I have a g/f and we've been together for 5 1/2 months now. It's great. Really great.

She's basically being kicked out of the house in September (she'll be 21) and is looking to teach overseas. She's basically looking for purpose. It's a little more complicated than that but I don't really need to give all the details of that. If she does go (likely to Thailand) then she's gone for a year.

I can't stop her and she would never ask me to put my life on hold for her either. Basically, I have two choices with, in my mind, equally heavy consequences.

1) She goes, I stay. I finish my honours program here and we try as hard as we can to keep the long distance thing going. But a lot can change for a person in a year. A lot of realizations. I know we might not be the same people again if she comes back after that year. I don't know what experiences she'll have, what type of people she'll meet, etc.

2) She goes, I go. I put school on hold for one year. I've been wanting to teach overseas at some point myself anyways. We could do it together and keep our relationship going, experience the other side of the world, and just grow together instead of apart.

Still need to get all the information on teaching abroad and what qualifications people are looking for, but this is the course she most readily wants to take. I'm sure most people would say that the sensible thing to do would be to stay in school and continue my education because there's no guarantee of what can happen in the future in terms of the relationship. I know that too. We both do...which makes this that much harder.

Soooo yeah, that's my plight. Let the sarcastic and joke comments commence, with serious advice being intermingled somewhere in the middle.
 

Boogie

Member
Well, I'm sure the "Me First" GAF brigade will obviously tell you to stay and finish up your school.

As for me.......I'm uniquely unqualified to give advice of any sort. Good luck.
 

Dilbert

Member
Alucard said:
I'm sure most people would say that the sensible thing to do would be to stay in school and continue my education because there's no guarantee of what can happen in the future in terms of the relationship. I know that too. We both do...which makes this that much harder.
Funny...that's exactly what I was going to say. Finishing up your degree so you're ready to move on into your career is your #1 priority right now...but you know that already.

Here's the real question: You say that "she's basically looking for a purpose," but is apparently happy dating you. Why the hell does she have to go to THAILAND to figure things out? That doesn't make any sense at all. I don't see her as being possessed by some intense desire to teach overseas for the sake of teaching overseas...it sounds far more like, "Well, that will get me the hell out of here!" From your description, this doesn't sound like something which has been in the plan for a while -- it sounds like a knee-jerk reaction to current circumstances.

I think the bottom line is that you are on a good path right now, you care for her a lot, and you seem to have stability, which is something she could really use right now. Changes come in various sizes, and if the only thing which is going to make her happy right now is some kind of change, why can't she make one which doesn't involve moving thousands of miles away from you?
 
These two questions are all you need ...




...





a. do you love (will u marry me love) the girl?

and

b. do you like (I got feelings for you like) the girl?






a. Seriously consider moving with her for a year, but if she loves u as much as u love her, she'll understand the schooling problem if you have to stay.


b. Dont risk missing out on something great at home and your hard earnede education on just a feeling.





Either way, if shes looking for a purpose in life, u are gonna have a big influence on her decision because shes lost. If you want to stay in the states, show her that she does not need to travel around the world just to discover herself and life. She can do that right there with you. She will listen, you'll see. All a girl needs is security, love, and hope ... give it to her and your set
 

Andy787

Banned
If you have the ability to teach, and you would be able to mentally get back into college a year from now, I say go for it. See more of life, stay in love, experience new things. Get the most of what's really important in life.

Doesn't even matter if she turns out to be "the one" or not. It's the memories you will have, hopefully very good ones, that will matter.
 
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