DISCLIAMER:
I've recenlty been struggling with this issue. I'm keeping a very open mind on all of this, but I have put a LOT of thought into this and had MANY debates and discussions with very religious people, non-religious, virgins, non-virgins, married and divorcred people. I collected all the information from that and formed my own conclusion that I think works pretty well for everyone to pass on.
Sex: What's Right And What's Wrong:
Virgins, non-virgins, sluts, whores, waiting until marriage, having sex before marriage where do you draw the line? What's right and what's wrong? Is there an age when someone's ready? Will God look down on me if I wasn't a virgin going into marriage? Well, I finally have the answer to all these questions.
I came up with something I can pass on to my kids. The decision to have sex comes down to one thing, a question to yourself: What are you willing to sacrifice/give up?
For example, I'm not willing to have a terminal disease, so getting checked before sex is a must for me.
I AM willing to give up my single life to care for a child if one was born through the sex on accident.
I'm also willing to "look past" a girl's sexual past if I'm really in love with her and I feel she's really in love with me. If I'm willing to settle for a girl that's slept with as much as 3 other guys before me, then that means Id forgive myself if I slept with 3 other girls. In doing that, I'm giving up the possibility to date those girls that are only willing to be with a man that's either never slept with a girl before (as few and far between those are) or ones that are not willing to be with a man thats only slept with 2 girls (this is an example and not the real case).
Obviously a 13 year old wouldn't be able to care for a child, so sex for them is out of the question. Age has nothing to do with it. It has more to do with the ability to take responsibility. Once that person is ready and able, then the question should be asked.
Having sex is wrong when you don't ask yourself the question before sex and/or have asked yourself the question but are not willing to take full responsibility for the turn out going in. The right way is to ask yourself the question and stay true to your answer and your values. Having sex irresponsibly according to your values is wrong. It's a personal decision at the individual basis. Everyone is going to answer that question differently. I don't care what your answer is, as long as you stand true to it.
For those that feel religion holds them back, God never said, "No one must have sex before marriage." That's not to say, go out and have sex like crazy. In fact, marriage hasn't been around forever and yet people that lived in that time still had one thing in common with modern times, commitment (which should be viewed as the most important aspect to a marriage). God wants to see commitment and protect family unity. God wants marriage and that promise to him to be sacred and pure (the reason why women wear white in a wedding). Everything God says, He says for a reason. But I believe the reasons for the intrepretation in the Bible for not having sex until marriage was to make it easier for us to be commited at the right time, when we are ready to handle the responsibilities of a family.
I hope that helps
I've recenlty been struggling with this issue. I'm keeping a very open mind on all of this, but I have put a LOT of thought into this and had MANY debates and discussions with very religious people, non-religious, virgins, non-virgins, married and divorcred people. I collected all the information from that and formed my own conclusion that I think works pretty well for everyone to pass on.
Sex: What's Right And What's Wrong:
Virgins, non-virgins, sluts, whores, waiting until marriage, having sex before marriage where do you draw the line? What's right and what's wrong? Is there an age when someone's ready? Will God look down on me if I wasn't a virgin going into marriage? Well, I finally have the answer to all these questions.
I came up with something I can pass on to my kids. The decision to have sex comes down to one thing, a question to yourself: What are you willing to sacrifice/give up?
For example, I'm not willing to have a terminal disease, so getting checked before sex is a must for me.
I AM willing to give up my single life to care for a child if one was born through the sex on accident.
I'm also willing to "look past" a girl's sexual past if I'm really in love with her and I feel she's really in love with me. If I'm willing to settle for a girl that's slept with as much as 3 other guys before me, then that means Id forgive myself if I slept with 3 other girls. In doing that, I'm giving up the possibility to date those girls that are only willing to be with a man that's either never slept with a girl before (as few and far between those are) or ones that are not willing to be with a man thats only slept with 2 girls (this is an example and not the real case).
Obviously a 13 year old wouldn't be able to care for a child, so sex for them is out of the question. Age has nothing to do with it. It has more to do with the ability to take responsibility. Once that person is ready and able, then the question should be asked.
Having sex is wrong when you don't ask yourself the question before sex and/or have asked yourself the question but are not willing to take full responsibility for the turn out going in. The right way is to ask yourself the question and stay true to your answer and your values. Having sex irresponsibly according to your values is wrong. It's a personal decision at the individual basis. Everyone is going to answer that question differently. I don't care what your answer is, as long as you stand true to it.
For those that feel religion holds them back, God never said, "No one must have sex before marriage." That's not to say, go out and have sex like crazy. In fact, marriage hasn't been around forever and yet people that lived in that time still had one thing in common with modern times, commitment (which should be viewed as the most important aspect to a marriage). God wants to see commitment and protect family unity. God wants marriage and that promise to him to be sacred and pure (the reason why women wear white in a wedding). Everything God says, He says for a reason. But I believe the reasons for the intrepretation in the Bible for not having sex until marriage was to make it easier for us to be commited at the right time, when we are ready to handle the responsibilities of a family.
I hope that helps