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[pollo]

Alright since im bored at work I guess Ill post some confessions worth reading.

-I've taken all 3 of my girlfriends' V-card. My 2nd girlfriend was surprising considering she was basically seen as the slut of the party who'd have her bra of by the second drink -- but after our 2nd time "together" ...GUESS WHAT BITCH? SHE WASNT. Ever seen a herd of cows slaughtered with a machete? Well this was kind of like that except a step below that =(( *shudder*

-I'm so annoying in real life. I haven't had a chance to show off my true colors to the online world -- but in real life im a tactless sunofabitch. Ill test your patience to see how far I can get away with some of the shit I say. Luckily not too many people hate me..so I don't go that far off the deep end -- but Im always pushing the envelope :lol

-Some of the highlights of my RL persona: I usually finish playing poker at around 2-3 AM with my floor and I'll hop into my bed where my GF will be sleeping. I wake her up by poking her and saying "Boo? You awake? Check out this new rhyme imma spit" She'll shake her head and be like "Christian please not tonight im tired." Then Ill respond with "Yo dont worry this will only take a sec. IMMA be the next Jin BABY." And I proceed to freestyle horribly until about 4 in the morning. One time my girlfriend got really frustrated and decked me in the mouth. I looked at her for about 5 seconds then said, "Pfft nigga please is that all you got/ Do that in jersey city yo ass will get copped" Then she kicked the crap out of me, but while she was doing it I was still trying to rap.

-I was a sophmore in a pretty much freshman floor last year, and I came home one evening from clubbing with some of my friends and I find that some freshmen are trashed. One's passed out in the bathroom unwilling to move and so being the all-knowing sophmore that I am, they come to me for help. I looked at the kid and I screamed in his ear all obnoxious like --HEY BUDDY AM I LATE TO THE PARTY?? I told the freshman to take off his clothes -- freshman being freshman not knowing any better did and stripped him down to his boxers while hes mumbling on the floor to try to get them to stop. So after theyre done doing that i proceed to cuddle with him on the bathroom floor. Eventually after about 5 more minutes of straight cuddling we eventually coaxed him to his room where he proceeded to throw up in his bed and wake up the next morning with a pool of vomit next to his head.

-I am the ultimate supplier of 151. I dont know why but I get a kick out of watching people drink 151 for the first time. Anyways there was this new kid that moved in next door to my room 2nd semester after my friend, then residing in that room 1st semester, was studying in Germany that I introduced to 151. He was unaware of 151 and its "potential" so trying to fit in with my group of friends he continued to down shots left and right and i kept feeding him. Everytime I took a shot, I'd tell him to take two -- he was this 6'2 caucasian kid and I'm a 5'6' Asian kid so I coaxed him by telling him he needed to double his intake to match mine. I left for a party after I had about 3 shots of 151 and him with about 8 shots in his system. When I came back pretty much sober at 4 in the morning I walk into his room and hes throwing up in his bed and all his friends are around him. I proceeded to ask the people around him "what happened? Did he have to much to drink? What's going on?" The people not knowing it was me that had been supplying him with the shots then proceeded to tell me that he'd had a lot to drink tonight and they managed to somehow discern that 151 had been the main culprit. All I could hear from his jarbled language was. "Christian, Imma fucking kill you." I slapped him hard on the back and said it's ok man, youll feel better in the morning. He was throwing up from 3AM-11AM the next morning.

Ahhh..good times.

 

[fart]

When I throw up, my balls hurt. Don't know what it means. I'm really freaked out about testicular cancer also.

how about when you cough? could be an inguinal hernia

 

[=W=]

Alright since im bored at work I guess Ill post some confessions worth reading.

-I've taken all 3 of my girlfriends' V-card. My 2nd girlfriend was surprising considering she was basically seen as the slut of the party who'd have her bra of by the second drink -- but after our 2nd time "together" ...GUESS WHAT BITCH? SHE WASNT. Ever seen a herd of cows slaughtered with a machete? Well this was kind of like that except a step below that =(( *shudder*

-I'm so annoying in real life. I haven't had a chance to show off my true colors to the online world -- but in real life im a tactless sunofabitch. Ill test your patience to see how far I can get away with some of the shit I say. Luckily not too many people hate me..so I don't go that far off the deep end -- but Im always pushing the envelope :lol

-Some of the highlights of my RL persona: I usually finish playing poker at around 2-3 AM with my floor and I'll hop into my bed where my GF will be sleeping. I wake her up by poking her and saying "Boo? You awake? Check out this new rhyme imma spit" She'll shake her head and be like "Christian please not tonight im tired." Then Ill respond with "Yo dont worry this will only take a sec. IMMA be the next Jin BABY." And I proceed to freestyle horribly until about 4 in the morning. One time my girlfriend got really frustrated and decked me in the mouth. I looked at her for about 5 seconds then said, "Pfft nigga please is that all you got/ Do that in jersey city yo ass will get copped" Then she kicked the crap out of me, but while she was doing it I was still trying to rap.

-I was a sophmore in a pretty much freshman floor last year, and I came home one evening from clubbing with some of my friends and I find that some freshmen are trashed. One's passed out in the bathroom unwilling to move and so being the all-knowing sophmore that I am, they come to me for help. I looked at the kid and I screamed in his ear all obnoxious like --HEY BUDDY AM I LATE TO THE PARTY?? I told the freshman to take off his clothes -- freshman being freshman not knowing any better did and stripped him down to his boxers while hes mumbling on the floor to try to get them to stop. So after theyre done doing that i proceed to cuddle with him on the bathroom floor. Eventually after about 5 more minutes of straight cuddling we eventually coaxed him to his room where he proceeded to throw up in his bed and wake up the next morning with a pool of vomit next to his head.

-I am the ultimate supplier of 151. I dont know why but I get a kick out of watching people drink 151 for the first time. Anyways there was this new kid that moved in next door to my room 2nd semester after my friend, then residing in that room 1st semester, was studying in Germany that I introduced to 151. He was unaware of 151 and its "potential" so trying to fit in with my group of friends he continued to down shots left and right and i kept feeding him. Everytime I took a shot, I'd tell him to take two -- he was this 6'2 caucasian kid and I'm a 5'6' Asian kid so I coaxed him by telling him he needed to double his intake to match mine. I left for a party after I had about 3 shots of 151 and him with about 8 shots in his system. When I came back pretty much sober at 4 in the morning I walk into his room and hes throwing up in his bed and all his friends are around him. I proceeded to ask the people around him "what happened? Did he have to much to drink? What's going on?" The people not knowing it was me that had been supplying him with the shots then proceeded to tell me that he'd had a lot to drink tonight and they managed to somehow discern that 151 had been the main culprit. All I could hear from his jarbled language was. "Christian, Imma fucking kill you." I slapped him hard on the back and said it's ok man, youll feel better in the morning. He was throwing up from 3AM-11AM the next morning.

Ahhh..good times.

This is much funnier when you imagine Thomas Friedman saying it.

 

[pollo]

-There was also this one other time I came home drunk on my floor with my girlfriend and had a huge craving for baked cheetos. I purchased some at the local store and then went up to my room and I was about to enter my room, I noticed that the RA's door was open. Now my RA is right next door to me, and he's a pretty laxed guy but sometimes I can't believe some of the shit he lets me get away with. So anyways I eye my girlfriend while im downing the bag and spilling cheetos all over the place and Im eyeing that door and she starts to figure out what I'm thinking. "Christian dont do it" she says so then I turn to her and say "I wanna test fate." Let me add that drinking is seriously untolerated in my school, and my school has been known to bust people for drinking in the Carribean and charge them a rediculous fine. But knowing full well the consequences I entered his room anyway and attempted to carry a conversation with him.

"Sup" I says to my RA
"Dude youre so gone" my RA says
"No im not! Im underaged I cant drink" (As Im stuffing my fat face with cheetos in my mouth. Trying to aim them but dropping them down on his floor. Hes shaking his head at me)
"So what were you up to tonight?" He asks
"Chillin, studying for my test" I answered, all the while getting even more crumbs on his floor, "Yourself?"
"Nothing dude I got RA duty tonight, could you please stop doing that"
I totally ignore him and go:
"Watch this i can totally catch these in my mouth" Then I start throwing cheetos up in the air and making them land on my head. "Wait that went to fast"
So noticing hes getting tired of my act I finally catch one in my mouth and I'm like "Hah told you I was sober"
He shakes his head some more..and not willing to test any more of my luck I leave the room--cheeto stained and all.

The next morning after I wake up I catch him walking towards the shower...I look around the hallways of my floor and see cheetos all over the place. I look at him and say "Man some dick totally fucked up our floor last night with cheetos. They're all over the place!"
He looks at me and shakes his head and continues walking to the shower.

Fun times.

 

[Bishman]

-Some of the highlights of my RL persona: I usually finish playing poker at around 2-3 AM with my floor and I'll hop into my bed where my GF will be sleeping. I wake her up by poking her and saying "Boo? You awake? Check out this new rhyme imma spit" She'll shake her head and be like "Christian please not tonight im tired." Then Ill respond with "Yo dont worry this will only take a sec. IMMA be the next Jin BABY." And I proceed to freestyle horribly until about 4 in the morning. One time my girlfriend got really frustrated and decked me in the mouth. I looked at her for about 5 seconds then said, "Pfft nigga please is that all you got/ Do that in jersey city yo ass will get copped" Then she kicked the crap out of me, but while she was doing it I was still trying to rap.

That is hilarious! :lol

 

[JavyOO7]

- I will never be in an internet relationship again... two is enough. Shit. I realized too late that it was a waste of time. I actually met one of them... aye.

- As big of a Dolphins fan I am I really can't enjoy them to the fullest. Why? Dan Marino retired years ago. I'm still reeling from that.

- I think I hold too much hate in my heart, and one day I'm just going to burst. I find it amazing that I had that much hate... hehe.

- I like being a nice guy; and even I recognize when people want to talk over me. Let's just say I don't allow that to happen that much anymore.

- I hate being lazy... but holy shit do I love it. I did'nt know what I wanted to do when I got into College so I stuck with Computer Science. I like it.

- I don't know what loving another woman is. Just silly crushes. My dream (yeah yeah, you can laugh) is to have a wife, 2 kids, and all that bullshit in reality tv how we are the 'perfect' family. If I don't I'll have sadness in my heart, obviously.

- I hate lying to the people I love sometimes (mostly my parents).

- I miss watching wrestling, even though the mass reaction here is that it isn't all that great.

- I'm not saying I'm a social outcast, not really, but I tend to be one sometimes. It's flat out stupid. Now I'm much better with interacting with people with my new job that I got over the summer... though I failed my Calc class because of it. YAY!

- I barely leave the house, I just program, play games, and talk to my best friend who lives in Seattle. =(

- I sometimes wonder if I'm truly depressed, but then it eventually subsides. I just figure I have to be organized...

- I cry myself to sleep sometimes for not being a good student at school. Yeah... I know.

- I want to work with Nintendo, hopefully being owned fully by them as a 1st party company, and yeah, releasing the best games possible. :lol

- I wonder if I'll be able to live my life after my parents eventually leave this planet. In this order I love this people... 1) God, 2) Parents, 3) Videogames... not neccesairly in the same order.

- If I had the chance I'd blow Fidel Castro's head off.

...and thhhar she blows!

 

[demon]

I've been ignoring this thread up until now, but I suppose I'll share my confessions....


-Aside from meeting one girl and becoming best friends with her a year and a half ago during my fifth year of college, I haven't made a friend since mid highschool. I was such a fucking recluse throughout college (and depressed), it makes me sick to think about it. I actually could've made some friends last summer with these guys I got along with in my dorm room, but they were from all over the country and never really got to know them well.

-Not only am I an almost 24 year old virgin, but I've never seen a girl naked (in real life) or even kissed a girl

-Sometimes I wish I was gay, because I get hit on my gay dudes a lot more than girls (or guys are a lot more forward about it at least)

-I've never been to a party

-I've pretty much never been to a concert, aside from a couple that my dad took me to when I was younger

-I feel like I have a really hard time relating to guys, and not being into sports at all doesn't help. Having grown up in a house full of females and only making one friend (girl) in the past several years probably has something to do with it)

-I'm bad with money and I have more credit card debt than I should. I suppose that could be due to just being apathetic towards shit and not caring if I spend too much, though.

-I hardly ever read "real", full-sized books, although I try to make up for it by reading lots of articles and small-sized literature. It's not so much a matter of sheer laziness and certainly not a lack of interest, but I just can't bring myself to sit through a book. It's such a solitary, motionless, quiet activity, and almost whenever I attempt it my mind ends up wandering towards other things like life and how I should be out doing something else, etc. It makes me nervous of people asking me stuff like "what's your favorite book", and "who's you're favorite author", and whatnot. What the fuck do I say?

-Although I "love them", and I know they usually have good intentions, I hate my parents for innumerable reasons. They just suck at....being people.

-I think about the past and "what could have been" waaaay too much. But I can't help it.

-I want something in my life to make me genuinely happy. I know everybody has problems, but it sucks going through life without one thing to latch onto that gives you some kind of happiness. Aside from hanging out with my friend, there's nothing positive in my life, nothing I can look to and feel good about. It's been that way for a long time.

 

[Memles]

- I've got serious issues with physically calling people. Once I'm actually on the phone, no problems whatsoever. However, that initial act of dialing the number bothers me if I have no assurance as to who is on the other line. I have never used the phone as a means of communication from my end, only using it when I absolutely have to and substituting MSN wherever possible.

- I spent my 19th Birthday holed up in my dorm room watching Finding Nemo.

- I, despite having reached the legal age, have never more than a sip of alcohol in my entire life...and that was wine, and happened only once. And, to be honest, I really couldn't give a shit about it.

- I know more about General Hospital than Arrested Development. My mother's a big fan of the prior, and I simply missed the boat on the latter.

- I really enjoy watching what would normally be called "Kids' TV". I think that my own childhood shows, while still good for nostalgia, simply lacked the wit of the current breed. While a show like 'Kim Possible' can occasionally fall into idiocy, it can often be a very witty and entertaining diversion. 'The Weekenders' is another, as it just seems so much more interesting than anything during my own childhood. Outside of Fraggle Rock and TMNT, I really don't remember much of it.

- I think there is a place in this world for the sappy, predictable romantic comedies starring young female actresses of hollywood and pretty 18-24 year old males. Since I'm not a big fan of the explosion films that are usually seen as escapist entertainment, laughing hysterically at the predictability of a Princess Diaries-style film pretty much has the same effect. I would never consider paying to see it, but if it's on or on my PC, I really think there's a place for them.

- When I was in Grade 7, some kid took my badminton racket (My own personal one, thank you very much.) and was hitting my hat around the room with it. Not one to take that kind of shit when it is in regards to badminton equipment, I took the racket back and hit him in the thigh with it. Then, the racket was broken. Me, being quite smart in the moment, blamed it on his hat hitting, even when I CLEARLY had hit him far harder than he hit my hat. Amazingly, maybe to punish the kid's stupidity, the vice-principal concurred and the kid had to pay for like half the value of the racket. I thought I felt guilty, but in going back over it that was awesome...rat bastard of a kid, he was.

- I tend to have long-term, completely baseless crushes in place of actual relationships. I pick a girl, usually one in my classes, and then proceed to idealize them and ignore all of their faults entirely. It's really, really annoying.

- I really don't understand why Lesbians are so damn attractive. I mean, if it's two really hot girls, great, that's nice. But, for me, it still kind of feels like two chicks faking orgasms into one another...and that's not really that appealing for me. Maybe it's because the chances of me ever being involved in such a situation is like nil, so it seems too distant from harsh reality. But I've always been elitist with my porn choices, so I think this is just that sneaking in.

- I design shit, in the TLC 'Trading Spaces' style shit. Whoa...combining this one with the lesbian one might give the wrong impression, eh? Anyways, my mother tends to ask for my opinions on these sorts of things because my father has terrible ideas and my brother just doesn't give a shit. Thus, it is I who step in. In most cases, I simply like taking over projects to have power over something, or suggest something to overrule my father's ideas. I think it's a result of too much free time combining with the breakout success of 'Trading Spaces' that hit me.

- I was asked to be a pall bearer at my Grandfather's funeral but chickened out. I was the only grandson/grandson-in-law not to take part, so the guy from the funeral home did it instead. As it was my first real funeral, I just felt uncomfortable carrying a dead body. It was very much an expected passing, but it still hit me far harder than I expected it to.

- I have a really bad habit of making fun of a Vietnamese friend of mine for being 40% illiterate. He can't spell or use plurals or construct sentences, and yet he's in University. While I tend to try to help him as much as I can, I also gossip about his incompotence with other people who know him, and doing it behind his back is really a terrible thing to do.

- I used to use Internet Explorer even when FireFox was available...those were dark days.

- I eat no fruits and vegetables, eat a peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwich almost daily and don't eat Pizza, Hamburgers, Hot Dogs, Steak or pretty much any food you can names. I live off of Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, the aforementioned sandwiches, chicken...oh, and in order to get some sort of fruit and clear some arteries, I eat baby food bluberries on occasion.

- I used to have a Wrestling Figure Federation where I wrote up huge detailed shows detailing wrestling matches that were, apparently, actually acted out with wrestling figures. However, since I was far too lazy to do that, I just wrote them up on the fly. On the message board where I posted them, someone got wind that I wasn't actually using figures and there was a huge backlash and kerfluffle about it. Then, they decided to embrace 'Storyline' federations. My final Pay-Per-View that I wrote up was 56,000 words long.

 

[FeedMeAStrayCat]

I might as well through a few in here, although I'm sure none of you even recognize me from my posts... :lol

- I was a big Chicago Bulls fan until the dismantling that took place when Jordan left. So I realized I was just a big Michael Jordan fan.

- A few years later, my favorite time was the Washington Wizards. Go figure.

- I've never been in a fight.. EVER.

- I've never had more than a few ounces of alcohol total, in my entire life.. yet I live in the second highest rated country in the NATION based on alcohol comsumption per money made (or something like that)

- I've also never smoked a cigarette, or done any sort of drugs.

- I've only ever been in one relationship, however it's been an awesome ride these four years and we got married almost three months ago

- I think about videogames more than I should (for some reason, I think about Pikmin when I'm in church (which is about 4 times a year, but now since I moved.. probably no times a year..)

- Sometimes there's something I want to post on GAF, but don't do it because I know it'll create conflict and just grief for me. Even text hurts sometimes.

- I'm a huge Duran Duran fan and my wife teases me because of it (but I think she's coming around to liking them as well.. muahahah)

- I believe the first time I experienced porn was when I was 9 or 10 with my best friend at the time (his dad's magazines). I've been an addict ever since, with occasional periods of not looking at it/watching it and with occasional periods of heavy use.

- Even though I've seen so much of it, porn makes me feel dirty and I think(well.. KNOW) it's fucked up my thoughts (considering I've watched a lot of it half my life.. which is a lot, considering I'm only 20).

- Most people see me as extremely calm and not angered very easily, which is usually true.. but sometimes I can just snap and go crazy.. I've put holes into my wife's old room's ceiling.. but it was a really low ceiling (like 5 or 6 feet high, in the attic) and made of those foam tile things.

- I hate it when men talk badly about their wives.. or vice versa (women about men). Even if I was unhappy with my wife (which I'm certainly not), I wouldn't tell every living soul about it and joke about it at the bar or something.

- I can watch almost any type of movie or listen to almost any type of music and get enjoyment out of it. I'm a 20 year old male who can enjoy a chick flick (but don't prefer them.. my wife is the same way), musicals (Moulin Rouge rocks), etc. I have CDs that are all over the place genre wise. In my CD case outside there's some Benny Goodman, Beatles, Will Smith, Shania Twain, Spice Girls (3 of those, actually), Disturbed, System of a Down, Sean Paul, Busta Rhymes, etc.

 

[kablooey]

I've been ignoring this thread up until now, but I suppose I'll share my confessions....


-Aside from meeting one girl and becoming best friends with her a year and a half ago during my fifth year of college, I haven't made a friend since mid highschool. I was such a fucking recluse throughout college (and depressed), it makes me sick to think about it. I actually could've made some friends last summer with these guys I got along with in my dorm room, but they were from all over the country and never really got to know them well.

-Not only am I an almost 24 year old virgin, but I've never seen a girl naked (in real life) or even kissed a girl

-Sometimes I wish I was gay, because I get hit on my gay dudes a lot more than girls (pr guys are a lot more forward about it at least)

-I've never been to a party

-I've pretty much never been to a concert, aside from a couple that my dad took me too when I was younger

-I feel like I have a really hard time relating to guys, and not being into sports at all doesn't help. Having grown up in a house full of females and only making one friend (girl) in the past several years probably has something to do with it)

-I'm bad with money and I have more credit card debt than I should. I suppose that could be due to just being apathetic towards shit and not caring if I spend to much, though.

-I hardly ever read "real", full-sized books, although I try to make up for it by reading lots of articles and small-sized literature. It's not so much a matter of sheer laziness and certainly not a lack of interest, but I just can't bring myself to sit through a book. It's such a solitary, motionless, quiet activity, and almost whenever I attempt it my mind ends up wandering towards other things like life and how I should be out doing something else, etc. It makes me nervous of people asking me stuff like "what's your favorite book", and "who's you're favorite author", and whatnot. What the fuck do I say?

-Although I "love them", and I know they usually have good intentions, I hate my parents for innumerable reasons. They just suck at....being people.

-I think about the past and "what could have been" waaaay too much. But I can't help it.

-I want something in my life to make me genuinely happy. I know everybody has problems, but it sucks going through life without one thing to latch onto that gives you some kind of happiness. Aside from hanging out with my friend, there's nothing positive in my life, nothing I can look to and feel good about. It's been that way for a long time.

Not like I really know what I'm talking about, but you should really try to see someone, as in a counselor/shrink, demon. That shit doesn't sound healthy at all, and if you ever want to change the way your life is going, spending hours upon hours on GAF isn't gonna help. Maybe you should do what Jinx did and take a year off until you get yourself sorted?

And, I don't really feel like making any confessions right now. Blah, they're all pretty boring anyway.

 

[Gattsu25]

Talked about this for a bit in #, but I might become a preacher soon

I'm as fit for the position as anyone, says I

 

[FeedMeAStrayCat]

Not like I really know what I'm talking about, but you should really try to see someone, as in a counselor/shrink, demon. That shit doesn't sound healthy at all, and if you ever want to change the way your life is going, spending hours upon hours on GAF isn't gonna help. Maybe you should do what Jinx did and take a year off until you get yourself sorted?

And, I don't really feel like making any confessions right now. Blah, they're all pretty boring anyway.

I don't really think a counselor is needed on much of that stuff. More self-confidence, control, etc. would help, and I'm sure a counselor wouldn't HURT.. but I don't know if it's necessary. Stuff like never going to a party ever isn't a big deal at all, and I can share that same fact, actually. :lol At least not like a "Wow let's get shitfaced and feel crappy for the next week" type of party. I also had not even kissed a girl or seen one naked in person until I was about 18 or so. I also share the part about finding it hard to relate to most guys. It's still hard now even though I'm in my twenties (well.. 20) and don't drink/party, don't play sports (much.. occasional basketball.. but I still enjoy them), don't hit on girls every moment I get.. or at all, actually (this goes even before I was married, actually)

But you definitely are right with the suggestion to take time off from the board.. addictions like this definitely don't help confidence.. I know because it's something I've always severely lacked in, but have gained some more as of late..

 

[Ignatz Mouse]

here goes:

- I was a virgin until I was 20 or so. I can't really say exactly when I lost it, since my gf and I kept trying but stopping (due to pain, she was a virgin too.) We'd been going out for well over a year when we definitively did it. We were terrible at it. I didn't have good sex until my rebound relationship.

- Even though I am way, way more successful than I ever thought I'd be, I often fantasize about being way poorer, working retail or food service, and living hand-to-mouth. It's a reaction to stress, I suppose.

- I've only ever smoked half a cigarette. While drunk, I decided "I needed a new vice." I also hit on one of my housemates that night, who very deftly shot me down with a bit of derisive laughter. Ouch, I never felt so hamless.

- Even though I am a "nice guy" I will readily bully people who are unthreatening or in a position weaker than me. I've been growing out of this, but I didn't even recognize that I did it until a few years ago.

- I am occasionally attracted to the dorkiest, dumpiest women around. I mean, like at a groin level, something goes ping. Women who I don't even *like*. I'll ogle or drool over a hot woman like any man, but the wood comes for the most unlikely, mousy women that wouldn't get a second look from most men.

 

[demon]

Not like I really know what I'm talking about, but you should really try to see someone, as in a counselor/shrink, demon. That shit doesn't sound healthy at all, and if you ever want to change the way your life is going, spending hours upon hours on GAF isn't gonna help. Maybe you should do what Jinx did and take a year off until you get yourself sorted?

And, I don't really feel like making any confessions right now. Blah, they're all pretty boring anyway.

I've seen someone before, and it didn't really do much. Besides, I know what my problems are, what they were, and that I just need a goddamn change in my life. I've gotten over a lot of the internal problems that were keeping me from being happy, and while I still have confidence problems and whatnot, the main thing keeping me from being happy now is my life situation (out of school, apartment, have no connections, etc).

I know I wouldn't be a virgin and whatnot if five years ago I was the way I am now, know everything I now know, etc. If I just had a normal social life back then, things would have fallen into place much better....I know it. My virginity situation isn't at all anything like The 40 Year Old Virgin- my problem's not with girls specifically and blowing it really badly once I do get a girl back to my apartment, and so on. I just haven't led a life that was conducive to meeting girls and being confident around girls. Hell, I know I have no problem attracting them... I hate myself

And I don't think I'll be leaving GAF anytime soon, unless I end up traveling across europe or joining the peace corps or some shit. This forum doesn't keep me from doing other stuff, although I do kill time here quite a bit. Besides, with jinx it was more a matter of this forum driving him crazy than simply taking up a lot of his time, wasn't it? I dunno, I kind of missed the whole jinx debacle. He was one of my favorite posters.

 

[Cauliflower of Love]

.....Eventually after about 5 more minutes of straight cuddling .....

Did you also have a roomate that you theaten to tell everyone you two slept together?

 

[J2 Cool]

- My history of porn. Of course I was intrigued at a young age. I'd catch a movie scene once in awhile and my dad would have to fast forward. But anyway, like 10 years old me and my friend heard this rumor about an old guy who throws his playboy in the big trash behind his house and behind the video store, back to back. I guess others seen it. So we went over on bikes. Once we got there we flipped it open slowly and seen garbage. Heard something behind us. A dog or something. It barked once or twice. We ignored it, but soon enough. "You PERVERTS!". We turned around and freaked. Both of us ran to our bikes. "Sick kids!". Bunch of profanities. We just hit the pedals, and my idea was to quickly get inside the video store. We went to the far back for a few minutes, and I was ready to hit the porn section if he entered. Looking back though, we were the normal ones. :lol Dude was 55+!

- My history with pop ups. Before I got the internet, I heard all the rumors. This and this on it.. Anyway, at my little cousin's with my 2 siblings, I asked to use their computer. His mom said sure, then joked "just don't look up anything bad". I said just WWF. So all the siblings left, she was mowing the lawn outside in view, and the wheels began to turn in my head. After all, WWF sure advertised their divas. So I began looking, leading me to other sites. Shocking sites that freaked me out. Anyway, when I had enough, and no clue what to do with it, I clicked out. It popped back up. I clicked out, clicked out, clicked out. It only got worse. Meanwhile, I had no clue how to turn their pc off. I logged off simply. Then I left, thinking I did it. Later, I got my dad asking me "can I ask you something?". Denied the shit out of it, but her husband was out of town, her 5 year old son didn't, and she didn't. I mean, I was a red tomato lying bastard.

 

[Particle Physicist]

- My history with pop ups. Before I got the internet, I heard all the rumors. This and this on it.. Anyway, at my little cousin's with my 2 siblings, I asked to use their computer. His mom said sure, then joked "just don't look up anything bad". I said just WWF. So all the siblings left, she was mowing the lawn outside in view, and the wheels began to turn in my head. After all, WWF sure advertised their divas. So I began looking, leading me to other sites. Shocking sites that freaked me out. Anyway, when I had enough, and no clue what to do with it, I clicked out. It popped back up. I clicked out, clicked out, clicked out. It only got worse. Meanwhile, I had no clue how to turn their pc off. I logged off simply. Then I left, thinking I did it. Later, I got my dad asking me "can I ask you something?". Denied the shit out of it, but her husband was out of town, her 5 year old son didn't, and she didn't. I mean, I was a red tomato lying bastard.

before you got on the internet... logged off? what OS was this? just curious.

 

[J2 Cool]

I forgot. It was one of the first computers I was on, so I really had no clue how to turn it off. May have put it to sleep also. The main thing in my head was get the pictures off the screen.

how about when you cough? could be an inguinal hernia

No, not when I cough, but I think I should check it out too. It's not testicular cancer, because I always check that. Still, it sits on my mind sometimes. Could explain some of my fear, because I always think something doesn't feel right down there. No clue how to approach seeing a doctor though. I have a card now being 18 but have never went by myself. I'd feel more comfortable doing so though. Do they set up appointments easy if you are covered by a certain clinic?

 

[FeedMeAStrayCat]

I have no idea how to rank the frat pack. They all rock. Will Ferrell, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Jack Black... How do you seperate that in order?!

Hmm.. how many of their movies has Jack Black actually been in? I can only think of Anchorman. Personally, I would say the pack consists of Ferrell, Vaughn, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, and Ben Stiller. I don't know if it counts, but Snoop Dogg has been in at least two of their movies I can think of. :lol :lol

Ferrell's #1, Vaughn #2, O. Wilon #3, Stiller #4, L. Wilson #5 in my opinion..

EDIT: And if Black does somehow count, then I guess Envy is one of their movies I had never considered. And if THAT'S true, Christopher Walken is also in that and Wedding Crashers. Hmm.. ok, I must stop.

 

[pollo]

Did you also have a roomate that you theaten to tell everyone you two slept together?

pfft my roomate was lame -- complete opposite to my personality, all serious all the time and didn't know how to laugh at himself. So I didn't joke around with him too often, plus I lived with the guy...I'm not about to test his patience. What was it that was said here in GAF once? Don't put your meat where you make your bread? It's kinda like that cept in roomate terms =)

 

[Attack You]

-Despite being a good listener, I'm lousy at keeping friends. I'm such a low-maintenance friend, myself, that I often forget how much more needy other people can be.

-I don't know how to do anything in moderation. (See my first "confession" post.)

-Brother Bear and War of the Worlds are the only two movies I've seen in theaters since SW Ep. 1.

-My current GAF handle is purposely off-setting to disguise the poster I was pre-Neo GAF. (Not that it matters much. No one remembers me. )

-I feel very lonely right now, but I appreciate the opportunity for meditation.

-The only thing keeping me from becoming a drifter is my library of 430+ video games. Otherwise, I have nothing of value to anyone other than myself.

 

[demi]

- I'm insulted and hurt that you actually have to say that I am "cool" in a confession thread, like it's some big secret you didn't want anyone to know.

 

[WrathOfOtaibah]

Pre-Pubescence:

- I played doctor with a girl at age 4. She let me feel everything on her. She liked the vaginal stimulation so everyday for like a month, we'd go to her room and I'd basically finger her and play with her vagina for usually at least a half hour. It stopped after she moved.

- My 12 year old babysitter showed me her tits when I was 8. I was freaking out (not out loud but in my mind) because I obviously liked it but because I heard it was wrong for that kind of business. She asked me if I could touch them and I declined. I retreated to my room for the rest of the night and just stared at the wall. They were smallish, probably big As/little Bs. She babysat three more times but she didn't pull any more funny business.

- I was a little prick in school. Thanks to being sexualized, I spent most of my kid days hanging around girls. I was just fascinated with females so I had absolutely no male friends. None. Since I was the tallest kid in class, the fastest, and smartest, all the guys hated me. Didn't matter since I cared about girls. Funny because I was such a little player when I was in Elementary but when puberty hit, I became the exact opposite.

- I regularly corrected teachers for their mistakes. I was right too. How some of these morons were able to teach was beyond me. As such, all teachers hated me and was threatened detention and suspension many times.

Puberty:

- I've been addicted to the internet since I was 12. I'm 20 now. Looking back, I'm not that mad or sad because if I wasn't online, I would have wasted my life doing some other pointless shit.

- I am the master of procrastination. I do shitty at whatever if I start doing the task as early as possible and do the best when its right at the due date. I was able to type up a B+ English essay for college in just 90-100 minutes. Its under here because I was a hard worker before but now, I became lazy.

- I started downloading porn when I was 13. I was into hentai for whatever reason. I would jack off with not with lotion or even my own spit but aftershave. After a while, my parents could smell the aftershave. It lasted about two weeks until my parents confronted me and accused me of not bathing and I was using the aftershave to mask the smell. Even though I showered daily. It ended right then and there because I didn't know it was that serious and I ran out of aftershave.

- Porn took its toll on me with some of the freaky shit. I was still 13. For a while, I would piss on myself and fuck myself in the ass with the CD spindle of CD-Rs (CDs taken out of course). I was far from gay and for the piss, I can't understand why I did that. Whenever thinking about it, it makes me sick to my stomach but its shocking enough to me. After realizing it was nasty, I couldn't download porn or beat the meat for a least a month. Then I resumed back to not doing the aformentioned. With the ass thing, I never once thought about guys or anything resembling a penis. I guess I just liked the stimulation.

- To continue from the last point, at this time, I shaved all my pubes and had to get a physical for HS Football. When the doctor did the test, there was no way to explain why I shaved that area. I made up some bullshit about it not coming in and couldn't look my doctor in the eye for the remainder of the physical.

High School:

- I couldn't hold a conversation with a girl. Ever. I hung out with the football players so I was with all the hot girls. Imagine not being able to talk to them and being available, waiting for me to hit on them was 4 years of perpetual blue balls. I could only start talking to girls when I was around 19.

- This is where my internet addiction was full blown. I'd hope for a short football practice to go home and go online or play games. I even skipped a few class periods to go online. I'd regularly blow off parties to play games or go online. I still went partying but maybe only 3-4 times a school year.

- I made a kid almost want to kill himself by humiliating him in front of his co-workers.

- I dropped a pencil down a kid's asscrack that was hanging out. I never apologized but how he handled it made me feel bad about myself. He made fun of himself doing it but in such a manner that made him look like a complete shiteater. I figured the best way to make peace was to avoid him altogether.

- A friend was talking about killing himself. He confessed all of his problems to me and how they've been bugging him. I told him to grow a pair and I left. Three days later, he shot himself. If there ever is a Hell, I'll be roasting there and I deserve it. Probably my lowest point in my life.

- I made masturbating cool in my school. Everyone prior to me joked about beating the meat but I was the first to admit that I spanked the monkey.

- I never went to a dance in my life. I'm glad too.

College:

- I rarely drink but if I do, I drink to get "holy fuck" smashed. I mean throwing up, passing out, that shit. What sucks is that I always cry. Its never about anything important either.

- I fucked all of a mini circle of girls without each one knowing that I was having sex with their friends. There were only five, which is why it was a mini circle. It wasn't that I lied, tricked, or deceived. They just never brought up to eachother who exactly they were fucking. Still haven't found out but I haven't spoken to them in a while and have fallen out of touch. So they may all know but I haven't moved so if they wanted my head, they knew where to find me.

- I randomly go up to girls and ask them to flash. Whats shocking is that I'd say 1/3 of them do so. No convincing needed, no cash transacted, just 'Hey, can you show me your tits?' They'll laugh and then say "Ok" and then flash. Its a shock to me because I didn't know how easy it was.

- I've ran up $3500 in credit card debt. I have it down now to $1700 (still made above minimum payments) but I haven't told my parents nor can I amply explain to them why a big chunk of my paychecks are spent up with nothing to show for it. I hope to have it paid off by March. After that, I'm getting the credit limit on one card cut down to $300, the least it can go (it is $1000 now, the other card goes up to $3500).

- I was quite obese but dropped all the weight and now am packing on muscle. Whats shocking is that I see old friends walk by me, having no idea who I am. I have to say what my name is. I look at my Driver's License and look at me now, its like night and day. Not a confession but eh, whatever.

Gaming/Hobbies:

- I'd be willing to say that I've spent at least $25,000 on video games, CDs, and DVDs at the age of 20. I'd say that at least 50-60% of my income goes to video games, DVDs, and CDs. The rest go to bills and food.

- I've owned three PS2s, two Xboxen, and now am at my 2nd Game Cube. I had a DS and a GBA SP but sold it. I have a PSP and am looking to sell it. I'm just not a hand held game playing guy. I want to get an American Xbox 360 and a Japanese PS3 and be done with it. However, given my past, I bet I will own a Revolution too and probably rebuy a DS and PSP, if I sell the PSP.

- You think with all that, I'd have a massive collection to show? Wrong! Every year or so, I get a revelation that I should give up gaming. So I sell everything off. Then a week up to a month later, I own a new console with about a dozen of the best games for the machine. I'd sell a $600 collection for $120 and wouldn't phase me enough to just keep the thing if I liked gaming. Damn you Fight Club-esque revelations. I had one a month ago but held off on it and fought through it.

 

[Wellington]

- I am 31, and I still live at home (thanks to my shit paying job)

- I drive a 2005 SL AWD Nissan Murano, and I love it.

What the fuck? Makes no sense.