Oh man. SimCity has been like a friend to me. Like a friend that parties something wicked. And is constantly drunk. It all started by him (SimCity) texting me, saying he would come visit one day. I replied "that sounds great. I'm looking forward to having a lot of fun with you!" - I promptly got a reply "Yeah, maaaan1!!! We're gonna go out, and we're gonna hit up all the ladies, we're both gonna get laid, and they'll be like tots be suckin our dickkks and fuck yeaah" to which I responded "sure, sure. I'm looking forward to it!". I just kept getting messages about how fucking awesome it was going to be, and stopped replying to them at one point. As SimCity is about to come over, I get a message from several of my friends, saying "just pretend you're not home, we'll explain later!!" - completely confused, I have no chance of clearing it up before I open up the door to a drunk SimCity, that stumbles into my house, too intoxicated to do anything, passing out on my couch and promptly shitting itself. Diarrhea-style.
I'm so baffled by what just went on, I just take it as an honest mistake, and clean up the mess, and patiently waits for him to wake up at 6 in the evening the next day. Being too hung over to do anything, he's still so stoked he tries to get up and go out to have some fun, but passes out in the hallway, and I have to carry him back to the couch. The next day, things seem better. We're having a nice breakfast, and we're getting off to a good start. I try to tell him that he shat in my couch, but he insist that was someone else. After arguing for about half an hour, he does say he's sorry. We start drinking, and everything's good. I'm having a lot of fun. Really. I try to invite my friends, but he won't let me. I try calling my friends, but he manages to ruin my phone. Anyway, we go out, and hit up some bars. He starts hitting up women, and I follow. We get rejected, we get some drinks, I mack with a girl. It's a great night! When I'm ready to head home, he insists we head out to an after party, as he throws the bottle of champagne he just downed, that I payed for, to the pavement. Because, he did forget his wallet. He's insistent that he's good for it, and that he'll pay me back later. I'm not really thinking about that right now, because, after all, it is a good night, and this is fun.
Having been to the after-party longer than I wanted, we return home. The next day, he insist we do the same, I say he maybe should get his wallet so he can pay me back, but he says "naah, I'll get that later, there's no rush". I pay for one more night out, and it's starting to become a bit of a drag. I start seeing what a sleaze-bag he is, ogling girls, pretending to fondle their boobs behind their backs as I try to ask what they do for a living. He finally lets me call up some friends from his phone, that he just now tells me he has. We meet some friends, and it's an OK night, after all. I refuse to go to the after-party. He returns to my place about six hours after I'm home, and is shit-drunk again. He passes out outside of my door, yelling how he will pay me back one day, he promises. The next day, he heads of to party with someone else. It's evident that he's paid me a visit, the day after that, though, as there's vomit on my doormat. He still hasn't paid me back.
That vomit is the 2.0 patch, in case you were wondering.
EDIT: Oh, yeah. I totally forgot to tell you about this asshole friend of his that I met at one of the bars. He was total douchebag that was sure he had all the right answers about everything, trying to excuse SimCity's behavior, and saying that I can't say it's bad behavior, because I haven't been friends with SimCity as long as he has. I think his name was like Anthony Guise or something.