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[Nobody_Important]

This is scientifically important. Be honest in your votes or I will know about it. I will make your welcome mats slightly uneven. Then I will break into your house and unscrew 3 light bulbs just enough to make you think they went out and leave your refrigerator door slightly ajar.



EDIT: Oh and link me your best and worst puns. I unironically love them.

 

[Jsisto]

I would probably be the person that did it. And then I would become violently enraged when someone responds “wow that’s such a dad joke. I love dad jokes.”

 

[Lanrutcon]

I would contact the UN immediately.

 

[Nobody_Important]

I would contact the UN immediately.

Why were the British so afraid of George Washington's sleeves?

Spoiler

Because that's where he kept his armies

 

[haxan7]

2 threads started by Nobody_Important in the last week

What a time to be alive

 

[TDiddyLive]

Why were the British so afraid of George Washington's sleeves?

Spoiler

Because that's where he kept his armies

You got that one all backwards and wrong.

Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

 

[Nobody_Important]

2 threads started by Nobody_Important in the last week

What a time to be alive

All jokes aside I have had a very good week personally. Got some some miraculous news regarding a family member and had a good outcome at work. I am at a rare high point.


I figure why not enjoy it?

 

[Lanrutcon]

You got that one all backwards and wrong.

Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Both of you: reported for crimes against humanity.

 

[Nobody_Important]

You got that one all backwards and wrong.

Where did George Washington keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Is that the original? Mine is the way my grandpa told it to me lol

 

[bender]

My next move is crucial, what do I do?
How do I keep it real with shorty and my crew?
Didn't want to kill him, so instead of puttin' the MAC on him
I did the only thing I could do, turn my back on him (aight)
Here we go again
Same old shit, dog, just a different day

 

[Nobody_Important]

Both of you: reported for crimes against humanity.

Two cannibals are devouring a clown. One asks the other "Hey man does this stuff taste funny to you?"

 

[poppabk]

My wife loves terrible puns.
Such as -
I like to tell my Spanish speaking friends 'mucho'. It really means a lot to them.

 

[Mossybrew]

Is Nobody.... drunkposting? I'll go with it anyway. One of my best friends is this British dude and we play online a lot, he is constantly making dumb puns and I love it.

 

[Nobody_Important]

My wife loves terrible puns.
Such as -
I like to tell my Spanish speaking friends 'mucho'. It really means a lot to them.

I love this one lol

Is Nobody.... drunkposting? I'll go with it anyway. One of my best friends is this British dude and we play online a lot, he is constantly making dumb puns and I love it.

Look I don't need to be drunk to make threads and I am offended that you even think it would be necessary.


Though I will admit have ingested alcohol on this night. But not enough to be considered drunk I think.

 

[Mossybrew]

I am taking a bit shot of whisky and toasting you Nobody, whether you like it or not.

 

[TransTrender]

Clap and apply $5 tip

 

[epicnemesis]

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

 

[Tschumi]

I make eye contact, let a filthy grin crawl across my face and smack them on the shoulder and say "fanTastic"

 

[Nobody_Important]

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

I'm stealing this one.

 

[Tschumi]

what's the difference between a seagull and a baby?

A seagull flits along the shore....

A baby...

 

[Soodanim]

I’m always coming up with on the spot portmanteaus in conversation.

Puns are word play and I enjoy word play.

 

[Prison Mike]

What does C.S. Lewis keep in his wardrobe? Narnia business.

Napoleon might not of designed his jacket but he had a hand in it.

 

[Rentahamster]

 

[Ailynn]

My Dad used to love telling this one when my sisters and I were little:


What did the pony say when she had a sore throat?

"I'm a little horse!"

 

[dr_octagon]

you enter the pun, along with nine others, into a joke competition with the aim to win. hopefully one pun in ten did.

 

[West Texas CEO]

 

[Bernd Lauert]

I immediately try to make a related pun, hoping a proper pun war ensues.

 

[HellforLeather]

 

[TheInfamousKira]

I'd pun back and get into the nerdy white dad equivalent of a rap battle.

 

[Prison Mike]

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

 

[Lupingosei]

In an elevator, somebody said he hates elevators, because they always let him down

It was dead silence, so I explained him that comedy is racist because it is just about punching down

After that everybody in the elevator clapped

 

[Unknown Quantity]

Ba dumThis is scientifically important. Be honest in your votes or I will know about it. I will make your welcome mats slightly uneven. Then I will break into your house and unscrew 3 light bulbs just enough to make you think they went out and leave your refrigerator door slightly ajar.



EDIT: Oh and link me your best and worst puns. I unironically love them.

Intentional or not they need to be appreciated. I wanted to be called The Punisher but apparently its already a thing.

 

[AJUMP23]

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

That joke really steamed me.

 

[SJRB]

I would be LITERALLY SHAKING

 

[Star-Lord]

Why was six scared of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

I'm sorry.

 

[Prison Mike]

Why was six scared of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

I'm sorry.

 

[Artoris]

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran

 

[GeekyDad]

I don't know what's going on here, but I'm having a good time...

And honest question: Is it shitty to wipe your ass with real cloth?

 

[Kev Kev]

Bitch smack, no hesitation

 

[Prison Mike]

I had a crazy dream last night! I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea.

 

[DeceptiveAlarm]

Did you hear about the guy who lost his left side in an accident?

I guess he's alright now.

My 11 yr old told me that one.

 

[Insane Metal]

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

Honestly though...

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me

 

[Deleted member 1159]

I slap that fuckin knee and pat them on the back for a job well done.

 

[Kaachan]

Bite their balls

 

[KielCasto]

I’ll give him a trophy right then and there.

 

[Knch]

EDIT: Oh and link me your best and worst puns. I unironically love them.

LIES! I am You are without humor or emotion and therefore I you have no reaction. Beep Boop.