Stripper posts insane story on Twitter with more twists than a Shonda Rhimes script

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You summary is longer than the story

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lol

It's still a quick read. I could probably condense it down further, but I didn't want to miss all the insanity.
 
Its my second language and I got it all, and im an idiot. Pretending to not understand urban slang is a weird nerd tradition that I dont get, nerds drop Valyrian all the time, talk about their waifus and yaoi shit but when its time to know what is the meaning of "salty" in an obvious context, well they just need to let the world know they dont understand these weird black urban words.

And 20th Centuray boyz aint shit b. ��������
Saving this quote.
 
How do you let a dude like that get way with this as the boyfriend? I would have whooped his old ass or died trying. Then again Jarrett looks small...
 
fascinating story, judge me all you want (the irony of this post considering what I'm about to say) but if I found out about this I would leave that white girl so damn quick.

everybody involved in that story is a damn mess, I know some people that aren't too far removed from those characters in the chronicles of fuckery: the pimp the hoes and the simp and while they may be decent to party with their lives are a damn mess.
 
I'll attempt to summarize this. Let me know if I've missed anything.

This summary is exactly why people are saying she's a good storyteller.

Some people who believe they have interesting or funny stories to tell tend to go on and on and on, meandering to the point that it just sucks out any excitement the story had.
 
I was just disappointed she didn't actually call the police when girl got snatched.

Tryna explain this shit to cops lmao. 😂😂😂😂

But then they say it's the third-wildest story they heard that night. 😅😅😅
 
i can't even imagine the image of a guy jumping off a balcony and accidentally getting his pants caught instead......lmao. how has something like that not been filmed in a dark comedy yet?
 
think craigslist but you can actually get hookers instead of interacting with some poor sap that got his number posted on the personals section

I've heard of it before... I just thought it was funny after 18 pages, someone finally asks what it is lol.
 
Sounds kinda mentally handicapped. No one does those things if they are sane.

It says in the story he's bipolar. A gaffer empathized with Jarrett because he has the exact same problems mentioned in the story minus the girlfriend. I kept wishing tripolar was a thing and he would beat down Z.

Real talk - those reddit / twitch chat paragraph memes are much harder to read because they are damn obnoxious and run on too long.
 
I can't comprehend anything past about 20 or so in. Too many names and the language is a chore to read.

Someone needs to get on that Old English translation pronto. Here, I'll start it for you:

"Ye all wanteth to heareth a tale about wherefore hither wench and I hath fallen out? Tis quite long yet fill'd with suspense."
 
Crazy story. Though reading tweets always makes me feel instantly dumber.

Main takeaways: avoid Florida, Detroit, and Vegas. Been to all three and would never choose to go back. Unless Z put a gun to my head of course.
 
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