Stripper posts insane story on Twitter with more twists than a Shonda Rhimes script

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Is it too difficult to understand that that isn't anybody's problem but your own? Should we rewrite The Color Purple to be in contemporary midwestern-vernacular white proper English? Isn't it possible that a storyteller's vernacular adds a lot of flavor to how their stories are told? I could tell the cowboy in Big Lebowski to knock off the colloquialisms too, or you could be like me and spend 10 seconds online finding helpful things like this:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=vibing&defid=1987827
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hoeism

You're just being a bully though. That dude couldn't comprehend and explained why he couldn't and he asked for help.

He knew it was his problem and recognized that and you're jumping down his throat making some kind of assumption that he thinks it should conform to him or else it's worthless. The fuck does this living-in-Mexico dude care about upholding or preserving "midwestern-vernacular white proper English"?

Bad look for you.
 
You would think with such a large amount of people clearly reading it and understanding it you wouldn't get the proud few claiming they lost brain cells or couldn't make it through. The story was awesomely told which is WHY it's blowing up. The story itself was actually pretty dark and fucked up. It's because of the Twitter division (adding suspense like turning a comic book page) and slang that makes it memorable

The people insinuating that they are too smart to make it through.... It's actually the exact opposite

I 100% agree with this. The story works, because the narrator of the story sounds like someone who knows a thing or two about the world and the situations she's in, but what makes it more fun, is things go off the rails and she can't even handle it anymore.. And her narration is great, she doesn't skip any details, ties all loose ends..

For example, she had to have sex with her bf to calm him down so that he could let her go to this trip to Florida.. She could have never mentioned any of this, but then we wouldn't learned about the limitations of her wild lifestyle, she tells it like a professional story teller, she even refers back to her bf at the end of the story when he picks them up from the airport.


There's even a neat, classic Disneyesque 'Set up and Pay off' trope in there with the dreaded "villain" pimp hanging out with Jarrett at the cheap Motel and then seen again LATER ON in the story at the Out-call apartment.


She tells everything in a neat, timely and chronological order. this shit is gonna blow up even more on every entertainment site and news channel by the weekend. Good for her.
 
It's probably less to do with being deliberately difficult / poorly educated than it is to do with the homogeneity of your specific accent where you live. If you're not used to talking to people with very strong accents different from your own, you will struggle with writing like this.
 
Saque 634 en mi TOEFL de universidad. Lo que pasa es que aparentemente no me enseñaron a hablar como puta de calle.

Si estaba entendiendo la gran mayoría pero me dio hueva descifrar esa madre que insisten era ingles de Oxford.

dude

You're just being a bully though. That dude couldn't comprehend and explained why he couldn't and he asked for help.

He knew it was his problem and recognized that and you're jumping down his throat making some kind of assumption that he thinks it should conform to him or else it's worthless. The fuck does this living-in-Mexico dude care about upholding or preserving "midwestern-vernacular white proper English"?

Bad look for you.

No, the dude was being elitist about it, as you can see in the quote above in Spanish
 
I think Twitter's 140 character limit could actually make a story easily adaptable into a comic format. It would also have the benefit of creating clearer imagery of location and surroundings that is hard to get across in Twitters format.
 
You're just being a bully though. That dude couldn't comprehend and explained why he couldn't and he asked for help.
That's not really what happened in his discussion with me. I praised the writing style and said the people complaining about the vernacular were missing out on all the flavor of the storytelling. This was not a reply to him; this was just a random post of mine, which he then replied to telling me to "get off my high horse." That's great that earlier in the discussion he went into detail about English not being his language (I missed that sidebar), but that's how the dude came at me. Meanwhile, others in this thread, for whom English is not their second language, not only understood it, but would probably think twice before telling people to "get off their high horse" for praising the flavor of the writing.

I have been to quite a few countries and it was a struggle to communicate; I get the fish out of water feeling. But I didn't tell people to stop speaking like they normally would or complain that they were being pretentious or something when they utilized their language in creative ways that I couldn't appreciate. And here we have an internet post full of easily definable slang that this dude can look up. I don't care if it's a "good look" or not to point any of this out; I didn't start the conversation with this person, and I have been in his position and done better, and so have others in this thread.

Don't put word in my mouth I didn't say.

It is my problem, not anyone else's.
Maybe you shouldn't jump down people's throats for being on their "high horse" in the future, because that makes it their problem.
 
I think Twitter's 140 character limit could actually make a story easily adaptable into a comic format. It would also have the benefit of creating clearer imagery of location and surroundings that is hard to get across in Twitters format.

Yup. Each blurb is like a comic panel. Short and sweet bursts of key information. Some panels only have dialogue. Other panels have basic narration of the setting. Suspenseful moments build up to a page turn reveal.
 
You do understand that its not something that is literally always enforced right? That it has to be carefully applied so as not to run afoul of the first amendment? As per the details.

You're right, it was over ruled for Henry Hill.

Let's be honest. This shit story ain't gonna makr a dime. There's litteraly nothing worth making a book or movie for.
 
You're just being a bully though. That dude couldn't comprehend and explained why he couldn't and he asked for help.

He knew it was his problem and recognized that and you're jumping down his throat making some kind of assumption that he thinks it should conform to him or else it's worthless. The fuck does this living-in-Mexico dude care about upholding or preserving "midwestern-vernacular white proper English"?

Bad look for you.
But he got to accuse some rando of being a racist, which is really the only goal.
 
Holy shit, this is the greatest series of twitter posts I have ever read.. Like others have said, she really needs to secure the rights to this story and sell it to a movie studio. Would make for a great black comedy and might make her able to do something else with her life.
 
Does it really matter that some anime lover on a video game forum doesn't understand urban slang?
You definitely don't understand the magnitude of the situation here.
Jk

I got really excited after reading the whole story and enjoying it and sent it to my friends. One of them said that he got bored half way through and the other admitted that the story was well told though he didn't enjoy it.

I don't know, I felt it was something that anyone would enjoy but obviously that's not the case.
 
You definitely don't understand the magnitude of the situation here.
Jk

I got really excited after reading the whole story and enjoying it and sent it to my friends. One of them said that he got bored half way through and the other admitted that the story was well told though he didn't enjoy it.

I don't know, I felt it was something that anyone would enjoy but obviously that's not the case.

If something like this existed, the world would no longer have poets or writers, they'd all lay down their pens and stare at the perfection.
 
But he got to accuse some rando of being a racist, which is really the only goal.
Dude decribed her language, used by hundreds of people on twitter as "Street whore" in spanish and expressing his disbelief that this is considered "Oxford's English" whatever the fuck that means , do you really think that sounds like an non-native speaker interested in figuring out what it says there but struggling with it? Of all the comments here that is the most blatantly racist one, its not our fault you are not willing to ask what the spanish bit was before assuming this was Outrage culture showing his ugly head and you being the brave warrior that was gonna go against it.
 
I don't know, I felt it was something that anyone would enjoy but obviously that's not the case.

Kind of weird to me that some folks hear are making fun of those who didn't enjoy it or didn't understand it. While a few who didn't get it were pretty pretentious and deserved the jeers, some of the responses to everyone who didn't get it are defensive and insecure as hell.
 
I like the part at the end where Nick Fury recruits her for the Avengers.

H0YQF5cl.jpg
 
Dude decribed her language, used by hundreds of people on twitter as "Street whore" in spanish and expressing his disbelief that this is considered "Oxford's English" whatever the fuck that means , do you really think that sounds like an non-native speaker interested in figuring out what it says there but struggling with it? Of all the comments here that is the most blatantly racist one, its not our fault you are not willing to ask what the spanish bit was before assuming this was Outrage culture showing his ugly head and you being the brave warrior that was gonna go against it.
Yeah, somehow I doubt that I'm the "warrior" here. Unhinged.
 
I can't get through the whole thread. Is this real? Pics of the real people?

The reason I'm asking is, at least the beginning of this story is legit based on past life experiences.
 
I guess in an effort to prove the story legitimate she posted pics of the people involved while I was sleeping? Or I'm just seeing the pictures now on an Imgur link. Outing someone as a prostitute via a picture of them and their new family seems ice cold. Outed Jarrett too I guess. Poor Jarrett.

This is fake right?

I don't know. She keeps doubling down with pictures of people and such. If it's fake those people could probably go after her legally for... you know... being implicated in false crimes by her :P
 
For those who are insistent that they can't understand the story and the words don't make sense of them.

I wrote it in a way that you can instantly understand. So you too can laugh and stop embarrassing yourself in this thread.

Forbidden Love pt 1.
Mangaka - Zola R. Moon
Translations by k4w411_Kurojin

So Zola-chan met this baka-gaijin Jess at Hooters, Zola-chan was Jess-chan's cafe maid she was so kawaii, totemo kawaii. Jess-chan came in their with her onii-chan black man. Zola-chan being a cafe maid sat down with Jess-chan and her onii-chan and they started talking. Apparently Jess-chan's onii-chan gives her kane (translator's note: money). They were bonding and becoming tomodachis (friends). They exchange numbers feeling like their meeting was destiny and continue talking for quite some time.

The next day, Jess-chan sends Zola-chan a message saying "Onee-san! Let's got to Florida!! :3", She tells Zola-chan she wants to dance in Florida, and Zola-chan is like "hai!!" Zola-chan's waifu didn't want her to go, so she had the sex with him (translator's note: sex) then left with Jess-chan to Florida.

Zola-chan gets in the car and meets another one of Jess-chan's onii-chans, they are blackman2-chan, and Jarret-chan. Jarret-chan and Jess-chan are in love love (translator's note: in love) and blackman2-chan just lives with them. They get to the motel and Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that this room is for Jarret-chan and then they head off for the club (translator's note: A place were people dance and watch others dance, totemo ecchi).

Zola-chan dances at the club and makes 930,000 Yen. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that blackman2-chan was her pimp, unfortunately Jarrett-chan didn't know this (strike 1). Blackman2-chan comes up and he's like "how much did you girls make me? :3" and they tell him nothing (usotsuki!). He is pretty sad because his real waifu also had a bad night. Because they had a bad night he asks if they want to trap (translator's note: He means do they want sex older gentlemen for kane like schoolgirls!). Jess-chan is like "hai!!!"

They pull up to a different hotel and Jess-chan and Zola-chan start arguing. Zola-chan doesn't trap she is just a stripper so she yells at poor Jess-chan like a baka. Jess-chan starts crying saying she's scared and doesn't want Zola-chan to leave her all alone. Jess-chan tells Zola-chan that she can just check the guys, she doesn't have to trap (translator's note: have sex with men for money). Zola-chan decides to stay and protect Jess-chan!

First guy knocks at the door and he's an older uaito piggu and says he's here for Jess-chan, Jess-chan and uaito piggu have sex. Zola-chan is shocked! @_@ because Jess-chan says she that her price for sex is only 110,000 Yen! Zola-chan decided to help Jess-chan make more kane by putting her profile on an ecchi site setting the price at 650,000 Yen minimum!

Jess-chan is bukakke'ed by 20 guys and makes 5,550,000Yen (sugoi!). Jarrett-chan calls asking where Zola-chan and Jess-chan are, they usotsuki (translator's note: lie) and say they went to another maid cafe. He doesn't believe her and tells Zola-chan to not be a baka slut like Jess-chan.

A few hours later blackman2-chan comes and he asks how much Jess-chan made, she told him the truth (5,550,000 yen). He's shocked and goes "sugoi!!" dou yatte?!" and she's like Zola-chan helped me! :3. He takes the money from Jess-chan and gives Zola-chan 500,000 yen. He doesn't give Jess-chan any because she hasn't paid her rent in months T_T.

They all leave to go back to Jarrett's hotel and he's downstairs smoking weed with a random Florida-san. Blackman2-chan asks who that guy is and Jarret-chan is like "He just wanted to know who I was here with, it's okay" Florida-san says goodbye and leaves. They all go to the room and Blackman2-chan is really mad. He yells saying that Jarret-chan didn't know Florida-san that well and he shouldn't have told him that there were 2 bishoujous here. Jarret-chan explains why he said that and Blackman2-chan goes "we have to go now! They know there's money here!"

They go to a nicer love love hotel and he asks Zola-chan to keep an eye on Jarret-chan.
Jarret-chan and Jess-chan start arguing about Jess-chan trapping. He starts crying and he's like Zola-chan is this why you came to FL? Zola-chan goes "No, I didn't even know I was set up!" Jarret-chan is shocked and calls Jess-chan a hoe! (translator's note: baishunpu). Zola-chan leaves and goes for a swim in the love love hotel pool.

Blackman2-chan calls Zola-chan and tells her to setup the calls for Jess-chan again and Zola-chan says okay. She goes up to the room and tells Jess-chan to get ready, Jarret-chan gets really upset and starts punching himself! He tells Jess-chan if she does this again he will kill himself because he really loves her! Uguuu!

Jarret-chan yells that everyone knows Jess-chan is a baishunpu now and that he wants to go home. He throws his keitai at her (translator's note: phone). It has her facebook status showing both her love love ads! Jess-chan starts crying! T_T now everyone knows she's a baishunpu! Jess-chan calls blackman2-chan and 5 minutes later (instant transmission) he knocks on the door bringing his waifu with him.

Blackman2-chan is very upset, totemo upset and lifts Jarret-chan off the ground. Jarret-chan starts crying and apologizing going "sumimasen, gomennasai! blackman-chan!" Blackman2-chan's waifu pulls out a gun (Translator's note: a baka American weapon, not as elegant as a Japanese Katana (katana means sword)), she tells Z-san (blackman2-chan) to kill Jarret-chan, but Jess-chan says no.

Z-san doesn't kill him, but says he's going to kill his manhood and tells Jarret-chan to sit in front of him. He tells Jarret-chan to delete the post (and he does) then calls Jess-chan over. Z-san's waifu unbuckles his pants, then Jess-chan starts sucking his o-chinchin! Then he starts doing doggystyle on Jess-chan with Jarret-chan watching.

oSQ9TrO.gif


I'm so glad I came back to see what happend
 
Saque 634 en mi TOEFL de universidad. Lo que pasa es que aparentemente no me enseñaron a hablar como puta de calle.

Si estaba entendiendo la gran mayoría pero me dio hueva descifrar esa madre que insisten era ingles de Oxford.
Wow fuck outta here.

Edit: He's saying he "not learning to talk like a street bitch" aka hoodrat in spanish or something like it.
 
Anybody else have group messages going on about this? It's funny to read the last couple of my friends finally read & react to it.

We're all in agreement that this story needs to be made into a movie. Might be perfect for Netflix. Hopefully Zola was bullshitting in that 1 tweet about meeting with a lawyer.


Nope. Tried and only made it about halfway. Not worth the headache of putting up with the dialect and Twitter format.

Edit: I think the Twitter format kills it more for me, a bad means of long form communication.

I'm gonna try one more time to read this shit. I'm too old to understand Twitter + 'hood speak :/

uh oh
You know what to do, GAF
 
So at the beginning I assumed she was near Florida. Maybe Atlanta or something because it was apparently a road trip. But at the end they are flying home to Detroit? Not bad for a first draft but she really needs to rewrite that bit. No street savvy ho is gonna go on a road trip from Detroit to Tampa with a bunch of people she doesn't know.
 
This is fake right?

To some degree? Absolutely, it's just hard to pin down how much. If anything the twist involving the dude with the dreads and homeboy getting his stuff stuck trying to jump off the balcony should be the biggest bullshit red flags in there. Then again, at this point, the reaction to the story is much much bigger than the story so whether it's real or not is just ancillary at this point.
 
Gotdamn.

As if Z making Jess's boyfriend watch while he's getting sucked and fucking her right in front of him...that fucking twist that Z's own fiancé unzipped his pants for him and held the gun while he did it.....

Gotdamn.
 
Saque 634 en mi TOEFL de universidad. Lo que pasa es que aparentemente no me enseñaron a hablar como puta de calle.

Si estaba entendiendo la gran mayoría pero me dio hueva descifrar esa madre que insisten era ingles de Oxford.

Was this really necessary? You seemed more lighthearted in other threads and now this?
 
Saque 634 en mi TOEFL de universidad. Lo que pasa es que aparentemente no me enseñaron a hablar como puta de calle.

Si estaba entendiendo la gran mayoría pero me dio hueva descifrar esa madre que insisten era ingles de Oxford.

"I got a 634 on some test at university. What is happening is that apparently they didn't teach me how to talk like a street whore/bitch."
 
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