Stripper posts insane story on Twitter with more twists than a Shonda Rhimes script

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as long as this doesn't turn into some Quest for the Golden Whitegirl Idol, sure let it become a movie. If it turns into some "precious Jess" centered thing, keep it.
 
Jesus, that fake cast list fucking killed me.

Cera is the type of guy who would head to the gas station for a soda after dropping his girl off to get gangbanged lol
 
Alex_Mexico said:
Saque 634 en mi TOEFL de universidad. Lo que pasa es que aparentemente no me enseñaron a hablar como puta de calle.

Si estaba entendiendo la gran mayoría pero me dio hueva descifrar esa madre que insisten era ingles de Oxford.
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I know im late to the party but:

0Wi1rj7.jpg


Also, lol TOEFL

marrec said:
I think that's too obscure... but if we do Kryptonian and Klingon and Elvish and Angelus' weeabo translation and inscribe them all on massive stone tablets with the original story then maybe future generations of nerds will be able to understand AAVE after society collapses.

A "hoeseta stone" if you will.
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sibarraz said:
are people here spanish speakers or used google translate to understand what the guy with the TOEFL said?

It was funny to see him writing in spanish just to reminds us that he had a TOEFL but is even funnier to see people quoting him on english
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I'am a natural spanish speaker.
 
If this is a Hollywood movie in the making it's the nasty female version of The Hangover. Piecing together this shit without the Twitter blow by blow would take Sherlock Homie.
 
crooked spin said:
oh shut up. it's written in a wry and detached manner FOR comedic effect.

objectively, it is a fucked up and disturbing situation.



post/av
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Crud said:
Sucks you can't read. Try school.
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Professor Beef said:
I'm sorry that your eyes don't work and you don't know how to read. You making that post is an achievement, I'm very proud of you child.
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Sch1sm said:
l o l. Keep going.

I'll help you out:
"Murder is the funniest, right? Hahaha, he had it coming."

Claw your eyes out. You don't deserve to read.
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Blood Diamonds said:
shut the fuck up lmao
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Mass Effect said:
please stop
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Really guys? REALLY? You're gonna come out that strongly in defense of a ridiculously long series if tweets. Tweets with quotes that while they probably accurately portray the way things were said make the story incredibly hard to read with any semblance of natural flow and pacing?

Im sorry if I'm the only one here that wants to know the details of this story without having to work through the incredibly inefficient medium and writing style it's told in.

I'll take criticism for the use of "translating into English" thing though, that was a poor choice of words. It's certainly understandable English. Not exactly concise or poetic, but yes, it does qualify as English.
 
Relativ9 said:
Tweets with quotes that while they probably accurately portray the way things were said make the story incredibly hard to read with any semblance of natural flow and pacing?

Im sorry if I'm the only one here that wants to know the details of this story without having to work through the incredibly inefficient medium and writing style it's told in.
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The entire thread is filled with praise for this story BECAUSE the flow and pacing is fantastic. Zola wrote that story perfectly and conveyed all the details you'd ever need.

I feel like a genius for having breezed through the story and understanding everything while numerous folks, such as yourself, are struggling with it lol
 
Relativ9 said:
Really guys? REALLY? You're gonna come out that strongly in defense of a ridiculously long series if tweets. Tweets with quotes that while they probably accurately portray the way things were said make the story incredibly hard to read with any semblance of natural flow and pacing?

Im sorry if I'm the only one here that wants to know the details of this story without having to work through the incredibly inefficient medium and writing style it's told in.

I'll take criticism for the use of "translating into English" thing though, that was a poor choice of words. It's certainly understandable English. Not exactly concise or poetic, but yes, it does qualify as English.
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It wasn't hard to read. It had great pacing, and I'm going to just point and laugh at you for not knowing how to understand context.



(click the image if you want to hear the audio too) Seriously, I'm doing this to you right now. Have a nice day!
 
Just because this is written in a different dialect in which you are accustomed to doesn't mean that the story is not in English or understandable.

Yes some terms may not translate well to people of different languages or dialects, but those terms are not wrong or insufficient. It's called using context clues and reading comprehension.
 
Whether real or a short story told via Twitter, or a hybrid of the two, it's a pretty poorly-wrought and uninvolving narrative.

Edit: Most of it is pretty clearly fake, by the way, but that's beside the point.
 
I just read this. Hot damn that was great. I love the way it was written and there were so many WTF moments. Zola was a great protagonist too. I LOL'd when Jessica gave Z $5500 and threw Zola $500 after calling her a real one.

I know I'm LTTP so is there a detective GAF post about Z and dreadlocks? It sounds like Z got taken down in that big human trafficking FBI investigation that led to all those arrests last week.

And are there any lies that were found?
 
Any of you guys know of some clips of that fake cast of actors that might give them some street cred? My friend is a little dubious of them and doesn't think they fit the roles (except for Idris and Cera)

I'll try to find some myself, but it would go faster if some of you already had some scenes in mind.
 
holy shit why did I skip this thread when it first appeared.


just caught up but holy shit.



"this nigga lost in the sauce & his bitch lost in the game" - zola

quote of the generation.

zola the poetic
 
Future said:
Maybe I do overestimate how easy it is to follow the story. I mean she explains what trap means in the story, says that Z gave her phone, she puts number on back page, and calls it a trap phone. So it's the prostututes phone

I had seen back pages like that before, but always assumed they were fake. Now I know they are not.

Not sure what to do with his info
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Whatever you do make sure one of them isn't a cop. The police troll craigslist to trap people. Backpage is far less known so it will be under their radar but after this story blowing up it would be prudent to second guess yourself.
 
Future said:
Maybe I do overestimate how easy it is to follow the story. I mean she explains what trap means in the story, says that Z gave her phone, she puts number on back page, and calls it a trap phone. So it's the prostututes phone
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She actually called it a trick and said that trick means trap. I was like wtf but figured it out later in the story.
 
Snowman Prophet of Doom said:
Whether real or a short story told via Twitter, or a hybrid of the two, it's a pretty poorly-wrought and uninvolving narrative.

Edit: Most of it is pretty clearly fake, by the way, but that's beside the point.
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What are you talking about? It's written really well and has perfect pacing. Get off your high horse.

A bunch of people pretending to be literally scholars in here. I read a shit-ton of books and Zola's story was just as captivating as any other novel.
 
She explains that a trap is a trick. "turning tricks" is a pretty common, not-race-specific phrase. Ive never met someone who hasn't understood that.
 
mugurumakensei said:
Crazy part is her baby daddy/current significant other is white. Jess is(was?) probably one of those white chicks who fetishize black dudes assuming they all got big dicks or something.
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Maybe she likes all kinds of people.

Wow, some of those instagram responses are truely sad. Some people have no shame.
 
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