Stripper posts insane story on Twitter with more twists than a Shonda Rhimes script

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Ya know, this thread has shown me that growing up in the shitty Chicago public school system has given me a better grasp of reading the English Language than apparently well educated gaffers (who seem to be incapable of using context clues or google :o ).
 
sibarraz said:
are people here spanish speakers or used google translate to understand what the guy with the TOEFL said?

It was funny to see him writing in spanish just to reminds us that he had a TOEFL but is even funnier to see people quoting him on english
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English is my second language...

Ch, that post was mess. A MESS!
 
The guy who should really play Z is Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, better known as Simon Abebisi from HBO's Oz. Has the big, bulky size and we know he can do the accent. He's a little older but that's okay. He would still nail it.
 
platocplx said:
and the story just got even crazier. Now Jess is tweeting her story. https://twitter.com/jesswaesriat

oh man.

Edit (Trolled us)
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You'd think if she really wanted to have people think she didn't fuck 20 dudes in a single night or sucked her pimp off while her limp dicked boyfriend cried she would have actually tried to present her side of the story instead of saying you shouldn't believe everything on the internet.
 
GAMEPROFF said:
Verified by Jess Insta

Meh, so the good parts are fake.
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What's real or not honestly doesn't matter to me, it was a crazy story posted on the internet and I took it as such. While reading it was hilarious and fucked up, regardless of its factual merits or lack thereof. If some film or something is made, it should simply stick to Zola's tale.
 
lol both claiming to be the top bitch of each of their stories. No surprise there.

Doubt we'll know what really happened outside of any police/court reports.
 
So the version that Jess has basically flips it to say "no, you're the ho, Zola!" minus the crazy stuff. lol Not exactly surprising. I don't think either story is completely true but neither woman would admit to being a prostitute.
 
I don't get how Jess is more believable. Didn't she respond on her Instagram about how mad and hurt she was that her past mistakes were being brought up and how she was trying to better herself. I hope someone saved that. I think it might actually be in this thread. So there is truth enough to get that response from her.
 
Aaronology said:
Your anime translation? Yeah, I can barely get through a paragraph of that before my brain shuts the fuck off. I recognized the humor, but had to skim it. And if was in twitter form, poorly edited and with typos? I probably would not have bothered at all. I imagine a similar thing is happening to a few people on the onset of Zola's story.

Not everyone is trying to slide insults at black people or condescend when expressing difficulty following those tweets, or not being familiar with every term.
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Did I say you were trying insult black people? Personally I really don't give a damn that you had trouble with the anime translation. I'd laugh if you didn't.

Poorly edited with typos? So just like 3/4 of posts on GAF that people read just fine? Like I said, I'm in the camp that firmly believes if you had trouble with her story then you're nowhere near as intelligent as you think you are. And I'd go as far as saying spend less time on a videogame forum and more time reading some damn books, start at 7th grade reading level and work your way up.
 
Truth is probably somewhere in the middle like always. I'm guessing the more outlandish bits from Zola's story (Z shooting someone in the face, Jarrett leaping off a balcony and getting caught by his pants) are bullshit but I figure both were prostitutes and neither wants to cop to that.
 
Angelus Errare said:
Did I say you were trying insult black people? Personally I really don't give a damn that you had trouble with the anime translation. I'd laugh if you didn't.

Poorly edited with typos? So just like 3/4 of posts on GAF that people read just fine? Like I said, I'm in the camp that firmly believes if you had trouble with her story then you're nowhere near as intelligent as you think you are.
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*sweats*
 
Effect said:
I don't get how Jess is more believable. Didn't she respond on her Instagram about how mad and hurt she was that her past mistakes were being brought up and how she was trying to better herself. I hope someone saved that. I think it might actually be in this thread. So there is truth enough to get that response from her.
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I think it's more believable because there's less murder and stuff.
 
Here is that post she originally made. That's not an instant denial of the events at all. Which you'd expect one to make. That's a defense of one's action and saying that was the past.

Zaph said:
Damn. So it looks like this is true. Real shitty thing to do to someone. The blogs have picked it up:
V0S1Zjc.png
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LyleLanley said:
I think it's more believable because there's less murder and stuff.
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Oh I'm not saying that what Zola put is 100% true at all. It doesn't seem like like it's completely untrue either. Just that Jess's first response isn't to outright deny it. Her words seem to give validity to the story. Now she's trying to flip it and do a "It wasn't me. It was all her." Then she puts out a story trying her best to put herself in a good light. Not buying that at all.
 
I'm waiting for the Jarrett version that says he never cried or hit himself and that he made Z give him head to prove his manhood.
 
flkraven said:
She explains that a trap is a trick. "turning tricks" is a pretty common, not-race-specific phrase. Ive never met someone who hasn't understood that.
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I had to look up what she meant by trap and trick.

That and Backpage where the only things I didn't know about, everything else was pretty simple and I don't even keep up with modern slang.
 
Angelus Errare said:
Did I say you were trying insult black people? Personally I really don't give a damn that you had trouble with the anime translation. I'd laugh if you didn't.

Poorly edited with typos? So just like 3/4 of posts on GAF that people read just fine? Like I said, I'm in the camp that firmly believes if you had trouble with her story then you're nowhere near as intelligent as you think you are. And I'd go as far as saying spend less time on a videogame forum and more time reading some damn books, start at 7th grade reading level and work your way up.
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lol, Come on, dude. You know that's not true. Twitter style writing is in a league of its own due to the character limit. Also, a lot of esoteric slang in the stripper/prostitution world that people may not know. A poster who posted in that style and format wouldn't last long here.
 
I'm not sure about Jess knocking on Zola's appearance. Cuz she was lookin hot in those pics in the original tweets.

Convenient that it's all flipped around who was trying to whore themselves out. Definitely need to here Jarrets version. And you know someone from tmz is slithering around trying to find Z
 
vas_a_morir said:
lol, Come on, dude. You know that's not true. Twitter style writing is in a league of its own due to the character limit. Also, a lot of esoteric slang in the stripper/prostitution world that people may not know. A poster who posted in that style and format wouldn't last long here.
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That's like, blamespaces entire schtick.
 
Here's how we gonna set this up tho

Miley Cyrus as Jessica
The cat who plays Dembe on The Blacklist as Z
Jay Baruchel as Jarrett
Meagan Good as Zola

Jason Momoa as the rival pimp

A Grover Cleveland Production
Hoetry
December 2016
 
All I've learned from this thread are hoeisms and the fact we desperately need the center for kids who can't read good, and can't do other stuff good too.
 
Grover Cleveland said:
Here's how we gonna set this up tho

Miley Cyrus as Jessica
The cat who plays Dembe on The Blacklist as Z
Jay Baruchel as Jarrett
Meagan Good as Zola

Jason Momoa as the rival pimp

A Grover Cleveland Production
Hoetry
December 2016
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Michael Cera is the only right answer for Jarret. Jesse eisenburg would maybe be a decent substitute.
 
vas_a_morir said:
lol, Come on, dude. You know that's not true. Twitter style writing is in a league of its own due to the character limit. Also, a lot of esoteric slang in the stripper/prostitution world that people may not know. A poster who posted in that style and format wouldn't last long here.
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So Popgaf, Kpop/JpopGAF, and Animegaf?
 
vas_a_morir said:
lol, Come on, dude. You know that's not true. Twitter style writing is in a league of its own due to the character limit. Also, a lot of esoteric slang in the stripper/prostitution world that people may not know. A poster who posted in that style and format wouldn't last long here.
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Sentences split across multiple tweets without issue. The character limit excuse is silly. Even the people who didn't read it all got to the 2nd and 3rd tweets and understood that that's a continuous sentence.
 
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