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[Grover Cleveland]

I think we need someone proper sleezy for Jarret, like Jake Gyllenhaal.

Nah I don't think Jake could pull off an uber beta

Like could you see Jarret, knowing who he is, looking like this:

That would completely pull me out of the movie.

No I need a true dweeb, a career loser, a super sucker. I like the Eisenberg suggestion tho hmmm

 

[Violet_0]

alright, I think we can all agree that when they make the movie, we need both versions of the story. Even though Zola's is better

 

[Ivan 3414]

Michael Cera is the only right answer for Jarret. Jesse eisenburg would maybe be a decent substitute.

Why, because they're "beta"?

Jarret got angry and had bipolar episodes several times in the story; I don't think Michael Cera at least has the range to pull that off convincingly.

 

[Femmeworth]

Poorly edited with typos? So just like 3/4 of posts on GAF that people read just fine? Like I said, I'm in the camp that firmly believes if you had trouble with her story then you're nowhere near as intelligent as you think you are. And I'd go as far as saying spend less time on a videogame forum and more time reading some damn books, start at 7th grade reading level and work your way up.

How is this constructive? Other than letting yourself vent and smack some people? (Not that I don't see some value in it within some contexts.) You are absolutely kidding yourself if you think the people complaining literally can't read the tweets. Call out people for being ugly and racist/classist/whorephobic/etc. Otherwise you're just being ugly yourself.

 

[Dude Abides]

Truth is probably somewhere in the middle like always. I'm guessing the more outlandish bits from Zola's story (Z shooting someone in the face, Jarrett leaping off a balcony and getting caught by his pants) are bullshit but I figure both were prostitutes and neither wants to cop to that.

Yes all the interesting parts are bullshit and you're left with a rather boring story. This was kind of obvious from the beginning.

 

[Japanmanx3]

Jess came super weak in that *truth* reveal. Typical "it was all her not me" stuff. Plus after that initial instagram comment she pretty much cosigned Zola's side anyway.

Poor form.

Spoiler

Zola banana bad son.

 

[JDSN]

Use Milles Teller for Jarret, he got that weak sunurbanite dolt look down.

 

[raphier]

was this posted?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AnythingGoesNews/comments/3quslp/the_zola_story_jesss_side/

a lot less crazy, a bit more plausible i guess.

funniest shit is that they blame each other for trapping. Like yoo I am the innocent one, she was trapping people.

They're both lying.

 

[Chamber]

Nah I don't think Jake could pull off an uber beta

Like could you see Jarret, knowing who he is, looking like this:

That would completely pull me out of the movie.

No I need a true dweeb, a career loser, a super sucker. I like the Eisenberg suggestion tho hmmm

I don't know, I could picture Lou Bloom in the role of Jarrett.

 

[Aaronology]

Did I say you were trying insult black people?

"It wasn't really directed at you but everyone in general who were lost on the "confusion" over the story. Just bothers me so many people claim to be above average intelligence on this forum but absolutely suck at understanding not everyone has the same background or experience with slang."

Poorly edited with typos? So just like 3/4 of posts on GAF that people read just fine?

Ok...

Like I said, I'm in the camp that firmly believes if you had trouble with her story then you're nowhere near as intelligent as you think you are.

Ok...

And I'd go as far as saying spend less time on a videogame forum and more time reading some damn books, start at 7th grade reading level and work your way up.

Ok...


You're wasting waaay too much energy taking this a personal attack and ignoring what I said. Your anime version is a funny translation written in a way most people will have no problem with but that some might (and have), and that's understandable. In your own words, you'd "laugh" if they didn't. You wouldn't become hyper defensive or insult my intelligence, right? But every single time someone has expressed difficulty with Zola's tweets they're met with the type of insults and condescension you just spewed all up there.

"I'm too smart to understand this shit!" in the first few pages was replaced by "man, you can't understand this? You're clearly stupid."

Calm down.

 

[andycapps]

I thought we established that Aaron Paul's character from Breaking Bad is basically Jarret.

 

[PerezDeCorcho]

tl;dr?

 

[Aaronology]

I thought we established that Aaron Paul's character from Breaking Bad is basically Jarret.

In my head Jarret was Shia, but I'm down with BB era Aaron Paul!

 

[The Silver]

for the record the anime version is just as understandable as anything else, gotta love context clues bruhs. You don't need to understand the exact meaning of a word to get the intent behind them.

I have no clue whatsover what "sugoi!!" dou yatte?" actually means but from reading the sentences before and after I can tell it was an expression of shock and not in a negative way.

 

[zeemumu]

I thought we established that Aaron Paul's character from Breaking Bad is basically Jarret.

Z CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!!

 

[heliosRAzi]

This would be a great Rashomon style movie.

 

[J2 Cool]

I definitely had Aaron Paul as Jarrett in my head while I read.

though final season Jarrett might be too old.

 

[thecoolFNF]

The Legend of Zola: A Link Between Hoes



I really wish I could claim credit for that. Lmao

AHAHAHAHAHA

 

[sappyday]

Umm sorry Jess but I stopped reading your story a few sentences in.



As far as a I am concerned, Zola's story is the only one that matters. Whether some of it is fake or not doesn't matter.

 

[Grover Cleveland]

I thought we established that Aaron Paul's character from Breaking Bad is basically Jarret.

That's good.

That's damn good.

You get a production credit

 

[thecoolFNF]

What are you talking about? It's written really well and has perfect pacing. Get off your high horse.

A bunch of people pretending to be literally scholars in here. I read a shit-ton of books and Zola's story was just as captivating as any other novel.

This. Some of y'all just salty af that Zola's style of writing is killing it. It's entertaining and easy to follow.

 

[Bleepey]

AM I imagining the future film being a mixtrure of Springe Breakers meets Pain and Gain Meets True Detective. I can see it now:

A journalist/Police officer walks into a room with a transcript of Zola's tweets.There's some preamble about the events of the night in question. Brief introduction, blah, blah blah, and the camera slowly pans to Zola/Jess. Hell maybe do it split screen. Infact, maybe on one screen a journalist is talking to Zola and in the other a police officer is talking to Jess. The journalist asks Zola about her life as a hooters waitress. Zola starts narrating, it then goes to a flashback of the day to day life of a Hooters waitress. Scene goes on and then it cuts to Jess telling her side. I'l stop now but I can see this movie in my head and quite frankly, it's awesome.

 

[rooflapimp]

Umm sorry Jess but I stopped reading your story a few sentences in.



As far as a I am concerned, Zola's story is the only one that matters. Whether some of it is fake or not doesn't matter.

Zola's story fake af. Jumping out of the balcony and getting your pants stuck? Come on bro, that's some Looney Tunes type of bullshit. You're all getting punked.

 

[Dice]

I read this the other day. It could seriously be made into a movie.

 

[Grifter]

TIL area strippers daylight at Hooters.

 

[cntr]

The "trick" and "trap" thing was the only bit I didn't get.

 

[Lynx_7]

I think both Jess and Zola are hiding some facts to make themselves look better in each of their stories. To me it looks like they were both prostitutes on the side. Jess is suspiciously vague on explaining just who Z was in her story, and to me it's pretty obvious that he was her pimp (both from her and Zola's perspective), so I doubt Zola was the only one "trapping". Zola's side was a lot more fantastical but I'm guessing there's more truth in it than Jess would be comfortable to admit. I'm guessing stuff like "he tried to commit suicide but was saved by his pants" were untrue and just there for comedic effect though. lol

Now I want to hear Jarret's side of the story. I'm guessing he'll paint himself as a troubled, tragic anti-hero figure who saves both girls from Z and the other pimp, but in the end refuses both their loves, which causes them to become bitter towards him and paint him as a major beta in their stories. Can't wait!

 

[bernardobri]

The "trick" and "trap" thing was the only bit I didn't get.

They both mean customers, from what I understood.

 

[Professor Beef]

tl;dr?

no

 

[MogCakes]

What i've gotten from this thread is people get really sensitive about language and semantics and implied intelligence or lack thereof. It's more entertaining than Zola's story

 

[Quazar]

Next up: Jarrets version.

 

[marrec]

What i've gotten from this thread is people get really sensitive about language and semantics and implied intelligence or lack thereof. It's more entertaining than Zola's story

Oh so now the complex socioeconomic realities of language use in America is entertaining to you?

Spoiler

lol jks

 

[Chamber]

Zola's story fake af. Jumping out of the balcony and getting your pants stuck? Come on bro, that's some Looney Tunes type of bullshit. You're all getting punked.

Jess's story is pretty much "No, u!" I actually find her side of things even less believable especially given her initial reaction to seeing the story online for the first time.

 

[Mr. Robot]

Nah I don't think Jake could pull off an uber beta

Like could you see Jarret, knowing who he is, looking like this:

That would completely pull me out of the movie.

No I need a true dweeb, a career loser, a super sucker. I like the Eisenberg suggestion tho hmmm

What about this...

 

[DietRob]

Come on now.. The story was good for a few chuckles and made for an interesting lunch hour read.

But a blockbuster movie with a top tier Hollywood cast?!?! BHAHAAA... That is way funnier than this story could ever be. Quit trippin.

 

[GamerJM]

I feel like if it were a movie or a TV miniseries they'd definitely have to flesh it out more. But a more fleshed out version could totally be comparable to something like Spring Breakers.

 

[mugurumakensei]

He a hoe tho.

nah, that's timedog. blamespace was pulling mad money, and timedog was just jealous. I don't care what that poll from however many years back says.

 

[marrec]

nah, that's timedog. blamespace was pulling mad money, and timedog was just jealous. I don't care what that poll from however many years back says.

Timedog = Jess

Blamespace = Zola

??

 

[mugurumakensei]

Timedog = Jess

Blamespace = Zola

??

yes

 

[ReAxion]

Come on now.. The story was good for a few chuckles and made for an interesting lunch hour read.

But a blockbuster movie with a top tier Hollywood cast?!?! BHAHAAA... That is way funnier than this story could ever be. Quit trippin.

they made a movie out of 50 Shades.

 

[Tatsumaki Senpuukyaku!]

no one wants to admit to being the prostitute

Spoiler

(they were probably both the prostitute)

 

[Grizzlyjin]

Jess' story is easy to verify. If she got arrested in Las Vegas for trapping, then she is lying.

 

[Gnome]

they made a movie out of 50 Shades.

There's a lot more reasons to why 50 Shades was popular than just "The internet really likes it.", because of that 50 Shades was a safe movie to make for profit reasons. This would be a huge risk.

 

[Quazar]

TV shows and movies? Come on people. Maybe an episode on a show about strippers. Setup like that one show locked up abroad.

 

[IISANDERII]

Zola's story fake af. Jumping out of the balcony and getting your pants stuck? Come on bro, that's some Looney Tunes type of bullshit. You're all getting punked.

Truth outflanks fiction.

 

[lastflowers]

I really dislike how the crazy white dude's name is Jarrett. My last name is Jarrett!

 

[mrjohill]

There's a lot more reasons to why 50 Shades was popular than just "The internet really likes it.", because of that 50 Shades was a safe movie to make for profit reasons. This would be a huge risk.

You could probably make it pretty cheap tho

 

[CarpeDeezNutz]

We need mythbusters to test out the belt saving your balcony jumping ass myth.

 

[Angelus Errare]

There's a lot more reasons to why 50 Shades was popular than just "The internet really likes it.", because of that 50 Shades was a safe movie to make for profit reasons. This would be a huge risk.

But 50 Shades of Grey is like the definition of "The internet liked it". I mean it was originally a Twilight fanfiction that accumulated enough fans to get published then it got more fans and got a movie deal.

 

[Spring-Loaded]

"Lost in the Game" is the title.