Etrian Oddity
Member
Let us know how it goes. I'd like to go to one but as a single guy it makes me too anxious. >_>
The BDSM Thread
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Etrian Oddity
Member
If I had one open to that, I would. -.-
charlie1701
Member
Enjoy! I started going to my local munch about a year ago and made some great friends. People are super welcoming.
My partner and I tried wax play for the first time last week. Has anyone else here tried it? We want to experiment with dripping wax from different heights, building up heat etc.
And seeing if he can make 8-bit sprites from different coloured candles
charlie1701
Member
I have! My rec is to use wax with really low melting points.
I think the best for that is supposed to be bayberry. Bonus, they smell great! Con, they only really come in one color.
Have fun
Thanks! Some scented candles would be great, I'll try and pick some up at the Kinky Market this month. We used soya candles the first time- not too painful, at least on the skin that hadn't been spanked first ;-)
DoktorEvil
Banned
I have one scheduled Friday. Good luck with yours.
The local scene in my area has died this year, the munch I ran went from 25/30 people every month last year to 1 or 2 this year. Have just cancelled this months munch as it would have been just me on my lonesome in a pub for the night.
I love kinksters but you will never meet a group of people who are as flaky and unreliable.
I love kinksters but you will never meet a group of people who are as flaky and unreliable.
Unfortunately in order to have a group reliably show up you need to have the biggest bitch in charge. People respond well (Doms and subs alike) to someone who has no problem getting in their face about not making it, or to give the illusion that if you make it, it's because she or he allowed it and you're part of a special group.
The groups that are more laid back tend to be the least reliable. They start out great.... But they die off quickly.
Yeah. It's a pretty fine balancing act. They need to be bitchy and pushy, without being annoying. The way I've seen it is, if you show interest they're all over you and make you go. If you don't go, you only get so many chances before you're ignored altogether.
The other problem is age. Thankfully the groups I've been in we've mostly been in the same age range, so we often found places we were all interested in going to. I think the oldest person in the group was 35.
I'm glad you had a good time. And that sounds like fun!
Kinda late, but yeah, like someone pointed out, those electro pads with little shocks. It's just a few volts and they'll incite involuntary muscle movement. It's quite fun when she's tied down and blindfolded, especially since we got a few of those pads and she can never guess which ones are hooked up to the battery.
You certainly waste no time!
She was super cute, so I made my move.
Turned out we had a ton of interests in common.
Also shes awesome, so that helped.
Congrats!
Dr. Black Jack
Member
I think this thread saved my life. Can't really post details now, but from the most sincere part of my heart I thank everyone posting advice/stories.
F0rneus
Tears in the rain
I am glad I clicked this thread out of curiosity now. It's incredible how GAF can help people in various ways, that we can never expect. Keep at it!
To be on topic...err...tying girls up for sex is pretty hot. I do that often. With their blessing obviously. Gentlemen...Ladies. I'll see myself out. But you are obviously doing good work. God bless!
Eurgh, do any of you ever get burnt out on the whole 'scene'? Seems to be that damn near everyone round here is involved in some kind of drama or politics. I don't get how it becomes so damn serious, the negativity is just taking the fun out things for me.
Taking a break from munches and clubs in the hope that it will all have blown over when I eventually venture out again.
Taking a break from munches and clubs in the hope that it will all have blown over when I eventually venture out again.
Welcome! Glad it helped ^_^
I don't get burned out, but that's probably because I'm not active in "the scene" or munches at all, haha. I like Fetlife and this thread for chatting up like-minded individuals, but 95% of my BDSM is restricted to myself and my sub, with a few forays into public when we feel like it.
What's got you burned out?
I think munches would probably annoy me. I can envision a bunch of doms in their mid 40s trying to out-dom each other.
Anyone who ever visits Japan, I highly encourage you check out something like Osaka Jail. They're in Osaka, Tokyo and Nagoya. Nice scene, friendly people, and none of the drama.
Always nice to read GAF can help people, even in the most unexpected ways.
TELL ME MORE. I'm actually going to be in Osaka in less than a week. Since I'm going with my partner (<33333333333), I did float the idea of playing around a bit.
It's in this tiny building (called something like Umeda Royal Building, if memory serves right) and is sandwiched between a couple of larger buildings in the northern entertainment district (known as "Umeda"), just around the corner from a McDonalds. You take a sketchy elevator up to the 7th floor, then as you climb up the stairway you'll be greeted by this fella
leaning over the railing. That's when you know you've found the place!
It's a small place. When went there there was only about a dozen to sixteen people there, including the staff. There's a few booths in the corners, and the bar is directly at the entrance.
But really, this is a place to catch an S&M show, which they put on periodically at set times. They usually involve several members of staff and may include things like rope bondage, suspension, flogging, candle play, etc. It's backed to some interesting music and they definitely know how to put on a show. After the show we talked with several of the staff. Most of them are aware of Fetlife. They have many different outfits, and a change room, so my girlfriend ended up in some incredibly revealing fetish clothing, at which point they invited me to test out whatever spanking or whipping instruments on the wall I wanted to use on her.
Also, they're extremely progressive for Japan. For one thing, it's one of the only places I've ever been to where the people actually asked which one of us was the Dom and which was the sub. I never realized how often people automatically assume that the man is the Dom, until they asked us that night and it got me thinking about it. Afterwards, I locked my pet up in a cage underneath one of the tables and spoke with some of the staff. When I let her out, one of the staff members--an incredibly thin and tall rope master dude in extremely high heels--asked if she wanted to be tied up, so of course we said yes. For added fun, they slipped a small vibe against her panties. Good times!
I'm not sure if you know any Japanese. If you don't, don't worry, a couple of the staff know at least enough English to take your order, serve you, ask you some questions, etc. But if you know a bit of Japanese, even better! I think it costs somewhere around 50-100 bucks per person, depending on whether you're just staying for an hour to check out the show and chat a bit, or whether you plan to engage in "free play" and hang out later. I believe you're also offered a limited choice of drink options (although you can pay 10$ for several other options)
Link to their site
They have some photos up on the site if you're curious.
Also, here's a map
^ Note the Micky D's. Also the red bit is where you're going and it says 梅田 ロイヤルビル which is Umeda Royal Building. (7th floor)
In case you get lost, need to ask for directions, or call a cab, their address and phone number is:
〒530-0057
大阪市北区曽根崎2-14-10 梅田 ロイヤルビル7F
TEL：06-6361-6966
And for fun, here's the punk band NOFX going to Osaka Jail (the Tokyo location, not the one you're going to-- although they're similar) [from 3:29 to 5:30]
I hope you do go
They're really laid back. Even if your partner is more vanilla or not into a lot of that, you can still have a good time. Nobody forces you to participate -- you can simply chill out, have a drink, and enjoy the show.If you do go, you have to tell us how it goes! ^_^
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
Amibguous Cad
Member
Was cheez banned or something?
Dr. Black Jack
Member
Not ready to fully talk about it yet but for the first time in years I feel like a complete human being.
Dr. Black Jack
Member
K, think I can share a little. Sorry for the vague bullshit and double post.
Basically my wife and I realized that we were D/s at the same time and decided to run with it. It's clicked, to say the least. I feel like the luckiest person on the planet and can't believe we spent so many years pining for the same thing without, you know, actually talking to each other about it. Total paradigm shift for how I view myself, us and the world. Huge weight off our shoulders.
We're taking it slow; going to keep it private for now so not really looking to go to any meetings or anything. Who knows.
That said, what's the best place to shop for stuff? We've got a few things scoped out on etsy but other than that we're pretty lost. I don't want to waste time and money on stuff that will break/hurt someone.
And again, thanks for all the advice in this thread.
Basically my wife and I realized that we were D/s at the same time and decided to run with it. It's clicked, to say the least. I feel like the luckiest person on the planet and can't believe we spent so many years pining for the same thing without, you know, actually talking to each other about it. Total paradigm shift for how I view myself, us and the world. Huge weight off our shoulders.
We're taking it slow; going to keep it private for now so not really looking to go to any meetings or anything. Who knows.
That said, what's the best place to shop for stuff? We've got a few things scoped out on etsy but other than that we're pretty lost. I don't want to waste time and money on stuff that will break/hurt someone.
And again, thanks for all the advice in this thread.
I'm a dude and my fantasy is to get gang raped by a group of black guys. Not sure if that qualifies as bdsm but I definitely want to be treated like a bitch in that scenario. 
I fantasize about this a lot and I know I'm going to eventually give in to my fetish for dominant black men pounding me
I fantasize about this a lot and I know I'm going to eventually give in to my fetish for dominant black men pounding me
Moff
Member
well I don't know any US stores but personally I shop in stores that are not necessary sex shops. for instance handcuffs in a gunshop or a horsewhip from an actual horseriding store, leather collars with chains from dogstores. needless to say you also get better quality stuff in stores like that because they actually need to be used a lot.
additionally I don't really like the design of the items you can buy in sex shops, they usually look too artificial or edgy, I like to keep it basic. of course if you want to buy a hogtie or sextoys you need sex shops but I cant give any advice for US stores on those.
I'm a dude and my fantasy is to get gang raped by a group of black guys. Not sure if that qualifies as bdsm but I definitely want to be treated like a bitch in that scenario.
I fantasize about this a lot and I know I'm going to eventually give in to my fetish for dominant black men pounding me
That's awesome man. ^_^
Amibguous Cad
Member
I'm a dude and my fantasy is to get gang raped by a group of black guys. Not sure if that qualifies as bdsm but I definitely want to be treated like a bitch in that scenario.
I fantasize about this a lot and I know I'm going to eventually give in to my fetish for dominant black men pounding me
Not exactly BDSM per se, but it's adjacent enough to count, I suppose.
I also admit a fondness for black men in explicitly BDSM-type scenarios, but it's always kinda a touch and go thing for me. I can never quite tell if it's motivated by some latent racism in viewing black men as more brutish or masculine. It would be more racist to refuse to date black men, though
BroggieDoge
Member
What are some good bed restraint straps on Amazon? I want to get a set but I'm clueless as to what's good or not.
What's your opinion/view on it?
Dr. Black Jack
Member
Yeah, that's what I figured. There's a couple decent sex shops downtown but I doubt they'd have what we're looking for and all the other ones have a terrible selection. Amazon/etsy/online it is, then. Thanks.
It's pretty great. Mind blowing that after twelve years together we're closer than we've ever been. We just need to find a god damn motherfucking reliable babysitter god dammit~
A lot of people I've spoke to say it's beyond the realms of perversion, and entering borderline pedophilia, basing that claim simply on the whole caregiving aspect of the kink. I was just wondering if anyone agreed?
lol probably is racist, but of the 'harmless' kind I suppose.Not exactly BDSM per se, but it's adjacent enough to count, I suppose.
I also admit a fondness for black men in explicitly BDSM-type scenarios, but it's always kinda a touch and go thing for me. I can never quite tell if it's motivated by some latent racism in viewing black men as more brutish or masculine. It would be more racist to refuse to date black men, though
Moff
Member
well in my opinion anything beyond the realm of perversion is desirable.
and it has nothing to do with pedophilia. a pedophile could not be satisfied with some babygirl play sessions.
Well, you'd think that, but the arguments against a DDLG relationship are by and none, and all seem to cite the caregiving as babysitting. It really does irk me that people don't do their research before commenting on it.
Moff
Member
I wouldn't place too much weight in the judgement of people like that. like bunny said, if they are consenting adults there is nothing wrong with it. other people like to wear diapers, who am I to judge.
And this is exactly my argument when talking to people about this particular lifestyle. Now, I will admit, I get called 'Daddy' or 'Sir' by my little, but that is part of the dynamic. It's power play. Both titles carry weight behind them. There's nothing incestuous about it, nor pedophilic. It is about someone (the dom) having power over another (the little) while maintaining a balance of love and trust to help them feel safe. Like you said, almost like a father figure.
hodayathink
Member
I've been to a few of those. They're fun outings for sure. Never really bought anything, though.
A painting? Of what?
There's a thread for everything on GAF ;p
I know what you mean though -- I can't ever imagine going vanilla again.
Ditto.
TequilaHero
Neo Member
My current partner is vanilla but I have had quite a few previous experience and some funny stories I could share (let me get drunk first).
He is totally down to try new things, but I am too lazy to teach these days, so my lack of enjoyment rests solely on me. Guess I just got spoiled by wild lovers and wilder fantasies.
He is totally down to try new things, but I am too lazy to teach these days, so my lack of enjoyment rests solely on me. Guess I just got spoiled by wild lovers and wilder fantasies.
DoktorEvil
Banned
Munches are just bar/dinner meetups with like minded people.
With any meetup, the quality varys.
The munches near me meet every couple of weeks, so its fairly easy to establish a rapport.
Munches are where people discuss the lifestyle and just mingle. I met a couple and a few women I'd be open to play with at my last munch.
So, if you're interested in the kinks, a munch is the easiest way to start meeting people.
I've been debating going to a rope bite and doing some learning as well, but the price of tickets is woof.
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