Look, I don't know your history with men or black men, but I'm in no way attempting to guilt trip you. You can do whatever the hell you want. I can however share my thoughts and opinions on the matter and I simply think that train of thought is completely counter productive to getting people open to the idea of other races. Personally, I've never dated a girl that wasn't black, but it wasn't because of preference, it was due to my location and the type of women I gravitated towards just happened to be black. Hey, I could be wrong and you shunning an entire race of people based on small sample sizes is just preference but I'm inclined to disagree and I should be owed that much. No need for hostility like metaphorically implying I should hang myself for my opinions. That was a bit harsh.
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The Black Culture Thread |OT14| Ruthless: The So Well Spoken Story
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Storm Chamber
Banned
So...you've exclusively dated black women not because of preference....but because they were what you favored.
Breh what kind of Birdman shit is this
Yeah, that's not what I said. To clarify the women I ended up with were because of their personality. They just ended up being black. I've talked to women of other races before but it was because we hit things off, and it didn't work out for whatever reason. I didn't talk to them or not talk to them based on their race. I didn't end up with them or keep it pushing because of their race. Additionally, I wasn't attracted to them based on the color of their skin or features associated with their race.So...you've exclusively dated black women not because of preference....but because they were what you favored.
Breh what kind of Birdman shit is this
I tried but he keeps quoting me lol
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Pretty common argument:
"I'm having trouble finding romance."
"Date interracially."
"interracially is tricky for me because I'm generally not attracted to men outside my race."
"Why would you knowingly limit yourself to one race? Love is love. Love knows no race. Your views are backwards and it's why you're lonely and without a man."
When you merely expressed a general lack of attraction. It doesn't mean it won't happen, but for a lot of people it's a rare experience.
Often times the initial statement (I.e. "I'm not attracted to white men") makes men lose their shit even if it's not (or shouldn't be) controversial. Because men generally care about spreading their seed, they tend to have the luxury of who they pick, and without bias. Hence why it's a statement a man would generally make - a man has no legitimate reason to limit his attraction.
It's also a statement that many black men say to make their preference for white women (or non black women period) not as obvious. But the truth is in between the lines. If it were really about love, a man would be more understanding of preferences. Some people prefer tea over coffee. People having preferences is normal. Instead, they often get hyper self aware, and even defensive, at the most innocent of opinions on sexual subjectivity.
It's not always true, but it holds true for many men (especially black men) who date interracially. The interracial conversation going this way is nothing new. There's nothing wrong with interracial couples - do you, I say. But when people question or use language that guilts other people's sexual preferences that's when I start to have a problem.
"I'm having trouble finding romance."
"Date interracially."
"interracially is tricky for me because I'm generally not attracted to men outside my race."
"Why would you knowingly limit yourself to one race? Love is love. Love knows no race. Your views are backwards and it's why you're lonely and without a man."
When you merely expressed a general lack of attraction. It doesn't mean it won't happen, but for a lot of people it's a rare experience.
Often times the initial statement (I.e. "I'm not attracted to white men") makes men lose their shit even if it's not (or shouldn't be) controversial. Because men generally care about spreading their seed, they tend to have the luxury of who they pick, and without bias. Hence why it's a statement a man would generally make - a man has no legitimate reason to limit his attraction.
It's also a statement that many black men say to make their preference for white women (or non black women period) not as obvious. But the truth is in between the lines. If it were really about love, a man would be more understanding of preferences. Some people prefer tea over coffee. People having preferences is normal. Instead, they often get hyper self aware, and even defensive, at the most innocent of opinions on sexual subjectivity.
It's not always true, but it holds true for many men (especially black men) who date interracially. The interracial conversation going this way is nothing new. There's nothing wrong with interracial couples - do you, I say. But when people question or use language that guilts other people's sexual preferences that's when I start to have a problem.
Storm Chamber
Banned
First and foremost,
Second, it's not my fault he wants to argue semantics like he really doesnt know what folks are talking about. I certainly hope it's not a ploy to come off as progressive on here. Probably not, but you just can't be too sure anymore.
That's kind of a lose lose subject around here as far as I'm concerned. There's always going to be reactions to personal preferences and the "reasons" for having them. I find this shit fascinating, but Sub's thread is a prime example of how people can get their backs up about the particulars more so than the actual situation in real motion.
Edit: Case in point.
The bolded is going to have an automatic reaction and raise some eyebrows, but there's a lot of truth in there. Personally, I've never understood how any man can tell any woman a single thing about what she may or may not find attractive. With our history of dominance and subjugation as it stands, the prospect of a woman defining these things for herself is a scary ass prospect for a lot of males.
Not directed at you, Eloquent.
Just speaking in broad terms on the rather limited comfort range for the average male when it appears that they are being left off the books in any shape or form, or the book is being written with limitation to their participation.
Edit: Case in point.
The bolded is going to have an automatic reaction and raise some eyebrows, but there's a lot of truth in there. Personally, I've never understood how any man can tell any woman a single thing about what she may or may not find attractive. With our history of dominance and subjugation as it stands, the prospect of a woman defining these things for herself is a scary ass prospect for a lot of males.
Not directed at you, Eloquent.
Just speaking in broad terms on the rather limited comfort range for the average male when it appears that they are being left off the books in any shape or form, or the book is being written with limitation to their participation.
This is where you could have ended this discussion TBH but I understand you felt the need to address EloquentM directly. Before I continue, let me clarify that the rest of my post that follows is really addressing a bigger issue that EloquentM was referencing with his original statement and not you directly and that I have no issues with the post I'm quoting vs just using it as a "jump off", so don't feel the need to respond to this unless you want to.
The Okcupid charts you posted have been discussed in multiple threads on GAF (I think Subzero may have at least two of them), mostly because we have a lot of posters who proudly make statements like "I don't date black women, it's just a preference" or some variation there of. What is usually discussed in these threads is how these "preferences" aren't actually preferences and are forms of racism in themselves. Preference, being a greater liking for one alternative over another or others. Not "I don't date black women". This kind of statement isn't a preference.
Example, in one of Sub-Zero's threads he posted a story on an asian gay man who was on an online dating app and would come across profiles saying "No Asians" and would leave them alone. These same men would then reach out to him asking why he didn't reach out and when he would tell them their profile had "No Asians" they would go "Oh well you don't look Asian". In this example, had the person with the profile stated actual preferences (ex: Lighter skin, light colored eyes, etc...)... vs just saying "No Asians" he wouldn't have excluded the man in the example and who knows how many other people who fit under the Asian category but this person may have been attracted to (among other things we can get from a statement like "Oh well you don't look Asian").
This is the problem with saying statements like "I don't like x ethnic group" because ethnic groups are very diverse and why it's better overall to say what you "prefer" in the positive, instead. I'm not going into the bigger issues like the media, etc... and how it influences what we like/dislike, but in general it's just smarter IMO to post like how you did above and not "I don't like x ethnic group".
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Cindi has a point. But at the same time I don't think Eloquent is intentionally hitting the cliche she is mentioning either. I'm also more inclined to believe someone that has non white preferences has more legitimate reason over someone who says they won't date black men / women (more likely to just be racist).
Also everyone doesn't have to be a bastion of interracial tolerance. People can just do them and shouldn't be guilted for it. It's when people are proud of "not dating X" and going out of their way to flaunt it around that my ignorance alarm goes off.
The common criticism you mentioned Cindi goes both ways too. Plenty of brothers get criticized for not dating black women. Both the one you mentioned and that are wrong, but just coming from different viewpoints.
EDIT: good post Kreed. As in most things it is better to promote and emphasize positive aspects rather than negative i.e. "I really like these things" vs "NO X ALLOWED"
Also everyone doesn't have to be a bastion of interracial tolerance. People can just do them and shouldn't be guilted for it. It's when people are proud of "not dating X" and going out of their way to flaunt it around that my ignorance alarm goes off.
The common criticism you mentioned Cindi goes both ways too. Plenty of brothers get criticized for not dating black women. Both the one you mentioned and that are wrong, but just coming from different viewpoints.
EDIT: good post Kreed. As in most things it is better to promote and emphasize positive aspects rather than negative i.e. "I really like these things" vs "NO X ALLOWED"
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Y'all crackers is whack..😒
Alligatorjandro
Banned
racist
User 73706
Banned
brief little twitter tree relevant to the current topic
There's a difference between asking for no onions on your burger everywhere you go and going to a number of burger joints, all of whose default selections just happen to not have onion.
I just want to clarify that I agree with you in this discussion, it's more about phrasing and something innocuous snowballing into a serious "problem" in the eyes of ignorant folk and avoiding having a discussion become a conflict of interest right off the bat. "I don't date black guys" compared to "None of the guys I've dated have been black", etc. especially considering in your particular case you aren't being exclusionary by race, even though you may come across that way to some people. (Talking about general people outside of this particular discussion and not anyone that's a part of this current discussion in the BCT, just to be clear)
So...you've exclusively dated black women not because of preference....but because they were what you favored.
Breh what kind of Birdman shit is this
There's a difference between asking for no onions on your burger everywhere you go and going to a number of burger joints, all of whose default selections just happen to not have onion.
I just want to clarify that I agree with you in this discussion, it's more about phrasing and something innocuous snowballing into a serious "problem" in the eyes of ignorant folk and avoiding having a discussion become a conflict of interest right off the bat. "I don't date black guys" compared to "None of the guys I've dated have been black", etc. especially considering in your particular case you aren't being exclusionary by race, even though you may come across that way to some people. (Talking about general people outside of this particular discussion and not anyone that's a part of this current discussion in the BCT, just to be clear)
Forearm Star
Member
I would like to thank everyone who contributed to my first attempt at making fried chicken. Seems I can keep my black card a little while longer..
Crab!!!
Crab!!!
Alf in here wanting to take his Street Fighter game to unknown levels with andthebeatgoeson and _*****.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
What's wrong with the latter statement?
It's like getting mad at a gay person for expressing they don't like women/men.
It's ridiculous and in a lot of ways smells of insecurity.
It basically tells me that you have a problem with people having their own preferences that don't validate your own and then labeling them as negative. It's like you're personally wounded someone has different tastes is a personal attack on you and your preferences when nothing of the sort was inferred.
Sure, there's people guilt trip people for dating interracially. But that wasn't what I said at all. All I said was I'm going to start dating interracially with the exception of white men.
Expecting people to cater to your own definitions of language when they ultimately mean the same thing is immature as it is unrealistic.
Feel like no one really goes there because of the biological argument behind homosexuality.
------
On a less serious note, I watched that new Barbershop movie earlier because I had a free one in my points card. Wasn't all that bad, actually.
FeenixRising
Banned
Here waiting for Lauryn right now, let the fuckery commence
I'll pray for you lol
Alligatorjandro
Banned
I like all races.
UnemployedVillain
Member
I know I was on some of you for Captain America spoilers, but Black Panther...we made it fam
Although it's a little annoying how everyone is talking about Spiderman, even though this is literally his 6th on screen appearance. No one is like "Hey there's this super awesome black superhero introduced that was badass and stunted on everyone"
Although it's a little annoying how everyone is talking about Spiderman, even though this is literally his 6th on screen appearance. No one is like "Hey there's this super awesome black superhero introduced that was badass and stunted on everyone"
Professor Beef
Banned
As soon as I saw his post, I pictured the jokes clearly
I just didn't anticipate how fucking fast they'd show up lmao
Alligatorjandro
Banned
I won't even feel bad if you guys get a virus from searching for horse gifs
Forearm Star
Member
It's something I've come to really appreciate about this place
Hope she doesn't take the piss. And you and your mum have an awesome time.
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Ruthless
Forearm Star
Member
I'm sorry I can't hear you over how good this chicken is..
In all seriousness, I still got family over. Whole day went off schedule due to "issues"..
UnemployedVillain
Member
LOL, hope you brought a book. Or two
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Nigga, I was playing! Sheesh! lol..Enjoy your family. Will be on until Thrones and then, possibly, on after.
Dreams-Visions
Member
What are u niggas doing having these deep convos. Go take ya momma's out somewhere damnit.
We already doing something at the house.
Forearm Star
Member
Perfect! I'll donate a few rounds of being a punching bag while you unveil your new character.
It's really not the same at all. Homosexuality is genetic, and at best - racial preference is socially conditioned. I simply can't get behind the idea of having a racial preference. There's too much diversity within a given racial group for a blanket statement of that size to be a legitimate viewpoint in my eyes. You claim to find features like thin lips, a thin nose, pale skin, or round eyes to be unattractive - and thus - white men by extension. But like all races in existence, especially in the United States where ethnic purity is an absolute rarity, the phenotypic differences among races is profound. And I personally don't have an issue against preferences, which is merely a greater liking for one thing over another. I just don't understand going into a situation with everything off the table at the fore front.
Would you find issue with someone preferring not to have X,Y or Z friends because they're X, Y or Z - and X, Y or Zs tend to have personality and cultural traits that they don't vibe with... and so they go into all social situations with that in mind, and make absolutely no efforts to socialize or befriend anyone who is X, Y or Z?
Didn't know you watched that. Really curious about what they're gonna do with the whole ending bit of last episode.
Wish I could. She left the country Thursday so I'm not seeing her until I leave myself on the 28th. Called her, though. Best I could do.
Professor Beef
Banned
Did you take your momma out somewhere
FeenixRising
Banned
Some band with some big brotha as the lead singer who also plays the cello is playing now
Dreams-Visions
Member
time to start streaming the LotR extended editions to your phone
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