The Black Culture Thread |OT14| Ruthless: The So Well Spoken Story

Status
Not open for further replies.
Cindi Mayweather said:
Nigga.

You said:
Click to expand...
Look, I don't know your history with men or black men, but I'm in no way attempting to guilt trip you. You can do whatever the hell you want. I can however share my thoughts and opinions on the matter and I simply think that train of thought is completely counter productive to getting people open to the idea of other races. Personally, I've never dated a girl that wasn't black, but it wasn't because of preference, it was due to my location and the type of women I gravitated towards just happened to be black. Hey, I could be wrong and you shunning an entire race of people based on small sample sizes is just preference but I'm inclined to disagree and I should be owed that much. No need for hostility like metaphorically implying I should hang myself for my opinions. That was a bit harsh.
 
EloquentM said:
Personally, I've never dated a girl that wasn't black, but it wasn't because of preference, it was due to my location and the type of women I gravitated towards just happened to be black.
Click to expand...

So...you've exclusively dated black women not because of preference....but because they were what you favored.

Breh what kind of Birdman shit is this
dead.png
 
Storm Chamber said:
So...you've exclusively dated black women not because of preference....but because they were what you favored.

Breh what kind of Birdman shit is this
dead.png
Click to expand...
Yeah, that's not what I said. To clarify the women I ended up with were because of their personality. They just ended up being black. I've talked to women of other races before but it was because we hit things off, and it didn't work out for whatever reason. I didn't talk to them or not talk to them based on their race. I didn't end up with them or keep it pushing because of their race. Additionally, I wasn't attracted to them based on the color of their skin or features associated with their race.
 
Eloquent ignore Storm. He's just trying to score edge points. He made his opinion on this subject clear about 6 bans ago.
 
Pretty common argument:

"I'm having trouble finding romance."
"Date interracially."
"interracially is tricky for me because I'm generally not attracted to men outside my race."
"Why would you knowingly limit yourself to one race? Love is love. Love knows no race. Your views are backwards and it's why you're lonely and without a man."

When you merely expressed a general lack of attraction. It doesn't mean it won't happen, but for a lot of people it's a rare experience.

Often times the initial statement (I.e. "I'm not attracted to white men") makes men lose their shit even if it's not (or shouldn't be) controversial. Because men generally care about spreading their seed, they tend to have the luxury of who they pick, and without bias. Hence why it's a statement a man would generally make - a man has no legitimate reason to limit his attraction.

It's also a statement that many black men say to make their preference for white women (or non black women period) not as obvious. But the truth is in between the lines. If it were really about love, a man would be more understanding of preferences. Some people prefer tea over coffee. People having preferences is normal. Instead, they often get hyper self aware, and even defensive, at the most innocent of opinions on sexual subjectivity.

It's not always true, but it holds true for many men (especially black men) who date interracially. The interracial conversation going this way is nothing new. There's nothing wrong with interracial couples - do you, I say. But when people question or use language that guilts other people's sexual preferences that's when I start to have a problem.
 
Jackben said:
Eloquent ignore Storm. He's just trying to score edge points. He made his opinion on this subject clear about 6 bans ago.
Click to expand...

First and foremost,
pCeRNiuS.png


Second, it's not my fault he wants to argue semantics like he really doesnt know what folks are talking about. I certainly hope it's not a ploy to come off as progressive on here. Probably not, but you just can't be too sure anymore.
 
That's kind of a lose lose subject around here as far as I'm concerned. There's always going to be reactions to personal preferences and the "reasons" for having them. I find this shit fascinating, but Sub's thread is a prime example of how people can get their backs up about the particulars more so than the actual situation in real motion.


Edit: Case in point.

Cindi Mayweather said:
Pretty common argument:

"I'm having trouble finding romance."
"Date interracially."
"interracially is tricky for me because I'm generally not attracted to men outside my race."
"Why would you knowingly limit yourself to one race? Love is love. Love knows no race. Your views are backwards and it's why you're lonely and without a man."

When you merely expressed a general lack of attraction. It doesn't mean it won't happen, but for a lot of people it's a rare experience.

Often times the initial statement (I.e. "I'm not attracted to white men") makes men lose their shit even if it's not (or shouldn't be) controversial. Because men generally care about spreading their seed, they tend to have the luxury of who they pick, and without bias. Hence why it's a statement a man would generally make - a man has no legitimate reason to limit his attraction.

It's also a statement that many black men say to make their preference for white women (or non black women period) not as obvious. But the truth is in between the lines. If it were really about love, a man would be more understanding of preferences. Some people prefer tea over coffee. People having preferences is normal. Instead, they often get hyper self aware, and even defensive, at the most innocent of opinions on sexual subjectivity.

It's not always true, but it holds true for many men (especially black men) who date interracially. The interracial conversation going this way is nothing new. There's nothing wrong with interracial couples - do you, I say. But when people question or use language that guilts other people's sexual preferences that's when I start to have a problem.
Click to expand...

The bolded is going to have an automatic reaction and raise some eyebrows, but there's a lot of truth in there. Personally, I've never understood how any man can tell any woman a single thing about what she may or may not find attractive. With our history of dominance and subjugation as it stands, the prospect of a woman defining these things for herself is a scary ass prospect for a lot of males.
Not directed at you, Eloquent.
Just speaking in broad terms on the rather limited comfort range for the average male when it appears that they are being left off the books in any shape or form, or the book is being written with limitation to their participation.
 
Cindi Mayweather said:
I'm not attracted to white men though. It's just really, really rare for me. They tend to not have features I find attractive such as thin lips, thin nose, pale skin, or round eyes. Maybe. But I mean, it's a big maybe. Mediterranean guys can be hot though. I like darker skinned white men. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I just couldn't get over the pink penis thing.
Click to expand...

This is where you could have ended this discussion TBH but I understand you felt the need to address EloquentM directly. Before I continue, let me clarify that the rest of my post that follows is really addressing a bigger issue that EloquentM was referencing with his original statement and not you directly and that I have no issues with the post I'm quoting vs just using it as a "jump off", so don't feel the need to respond to this unless you want to.

The Okcupid charts you posted have been discussed in multiple threads on GAF (I think Subzero may have at least two of them), mostly because we have a lot of posters who proudly make statements like "I don't date black women, it's just a preference" or some variation there of. What is usually discussed in these threads is how these "preferences" aren't actually preferences and are forms of racism in themselves. Preference, being a greater liking for one alternative over another or others. Not "I don't date black women". This kind of statement isn't a preference.

Example, in one of Sub-Zero's threads he posted a story on an asian gay man who was on an online dating app and would come across profiles saying "No Asians" and would leave them alone. These same men would then reach out to him asking why he didn't reach out and when he would tell them their profile had "No Asians" they would go "Oh well you don't look Asian". In this example, had the person with the profile stated actual preferences (ex: Lighter skin, light colored eyes, etc...)... vs just saying "No Asians" he wouldn't have excluded the man in the example and who knows how many other people who fit under the Asian category but this person may have been attracted to (among other things we can get from a statement like "Oh well you don't look Asian").

This is the problem with saying statements like "I don't like x ethnic group" because ethnic groups are very diverse and why it's better overall to say what you "prefer" in the positive, instead. I'm not going into the bigger issues like the media, etc... and how it influences what we like/dislike, but in general it's just smarter IMO to post like how you did above and not "I don't like x ethnic group".
 
Cindi has a point. But at the same time I don't think Eloquent is intentionally hitting the cliche she is mentioning either. I'm also more inclined to believe someone that has non white preferences has more legitimate reason over someone who says they won't date black men / women (more likely to just be racist).

Also everyone doesn't have to be a bastion of interracial tolerance. People can just do them and shouldn't be guilted for it. It's when people are proud of "not dating X" and going out of their way to flaunt it around that my ignorance alarm goes off.

The common criticism you mentioned Cindi goes both ways too. Plenty of brothers get criticized for not dating black women. Both the one you mentioned and that are wrong, but just coming from different viewpoints.

EDIT: good post Kreed. As in most things it is better to promote and emphasize positive aspects rather than negative i.e. "I really like these things" vs "NO X ALLOWED"
 
brief little twitter tree relevant to the current topic

Storm Chamber said:
So...you've exclusively dated black women not because of preference....but because they were what you favored.

Breh what kind of Birdman shit is this
dead.png
Click to expand...

There's a difference between asking for no onions on your burger everywhere you go and going to a number of burger joints, all of whose default selections just happen to not have onion.

Cindi Mayweather said:
Pretty common argument:

"I'm having trouble finding romance."
"Date interracially."
"interracially is tricky for me because I'm generally not attracted to men outside my race."
"Why would you knowingly limit yourself to one race? Love is love. Love knows no race. Your views are backwards and it's why you're lonely and without a man."

When you merely expressed a general lack of attraction. It doesn't mean it won't happen, but for a lot of people it's a rare experience.

Often times the initial statement (I.e. "I'm not attracted to white men") makes men lose their shit even if it's not (or shouldn't be) controversial. Because men generally care about spreading their seed, they tend to have the luxury of who they pick, and without bias. Hence why it's a statement a man would generally make - a man has no legitimate reason to limit his attraction.

It's also a statement that many black men say to make their preference for white women (or non black women period) not as obvious. But the truth is in between the lines. If it were really about love, a man would be more understanding of preferences. Some people prefer tea over coffee. People having preferences is normal. Instead, they often get hyper self aware, and even defensive, at the most innocent of opinions on sexual subjectivity.

It's not always true, but it holds true for many men (especially black men) who date interracially. The interracial conversation going this way is nothing new. There's nothing wrong with interracial couples - do you, I say. But when people question or use language that guilts other people's sexual preferences that's when I start to have a problem.
Click to expand...

I just want to clarify that I agree with you in this discussion, it's more about phrasing and something innocuous snowballing into a serious "problem" in the eyes of ignorant folk and avoiding having a discussion become a conflict of interest right off the bat. "I don't date black guys" compared to "None of the guys I've dated have been black", etc. especially considering in your particular case you aren't being exclusionary by race, even though you may come across that way to some people. (Talking about general people outside of this particular discussion and not anyone that's a part of this current discussion in the BCT, just to be clear)
 
Jackben said:
EDIT: good post Kreed. As in most things it is better to promote and emphasize positive aspects rather than negative i.e. "I really like these things" vs "NO X ALLOWED"
Click to expand...

What's wrong with the latter statement?

It's like getting mad at a gay person for expressing they don't like women/men.

It's ridiculous and in a lot of ways smells of insecurity.

It basically tells me that you have a problem with people having their own preferences that don't validate your own and then labeling them as negative. It's like you're personally wounded someone has different tastes is a personal attack on you and your preferences when nothing of the sort was inferred.

Sure, there's people guilt trip people for dating interracially. But that wasn't what I said at all. All I said was I'm going to start dating interracially with the exception of white men.

Expecting people to cater to your own definitions of language when they ultimately mean the same thing is immature as it is unrealistic.
 
Cindi Mayweather said:
What's wrong with the latter statement?

It's like getting mad at a gay person for expressing they don't like women/men.

It's ridiculous and in a lot of ways smells of insecurity.

It basically tells me that you have a problem with people having their own preferences that don't validate your own and then labeling them as negative. It's like you're personally wounded someone has different tastes is a personal attack on you and your preferences when nothing of the sort was inferred.

Sure, there's people guilt trip people for dating interracially. But that wasn't what I said at all. All I said was I'm going to start dating interracially with the exception of white men.

Expecting people to cater to your own definitions of language when they ultimately mean the same thing is immature as it is unrealistic.
Click to expand...

Feel like no one really goes there because of the biological argument behind homosexuality.

------

On a less serious note, I watched that new Barbershop movie earlier because I had a free one in my points card. Wasn't all that bad, actually.
 
I know I was on some of you for Captain America spoilers, but Black Panther...we made it fam

Although it's a little annoying how everyone is talking about Spiderman, even though this is literally his 6th on screen appearance. No one is like "Hey there's this super awesome black superhero introduced that was badass and stunted on everyone"
 
Cindi Mayweather said:
What's wrong with the latter statement?

It's like getting mad at a gay person for expressing they don't like women/men.

It's ridiculous and in a lot of ways smells of insecurity.

It basically tells me that you have a problem with people having their own preferences that don't validate your own and then labeling them as negative. It's like you're personally wounded someone has different tastes is a personal attack on you and your preferences when nothing of the sort was inferred.

Sure, there's people guilt trip people for dating interracially. But that wasn't what I said at all. All I said was I'm going to start dating interracially with the exception of white men.

Expecting people to cater to your own definitions of language when they ultimately mean the same thing is immature as it is unrealistic.
Click to expand...

It's really not the same at all. Homosexuality is genetic, and at best - racial preference is socially conditioned. I simply can't get behind the idea of having a racial preference. There's too much diversity within a given racial group for a blanket statement of that size to be a legitimate viewpoint in my eyes. You claim to find features like thin lips, a thin nose, pale skin, or round eyes to be unattractive - and thus - white men by extension. But like all races in existence, especially in the United States where ethnic purity is an absolute rarity, the phenotypic differences among races is profound. And I personally don't have an issue against preferences, which is merely a greater liking for one thing over another. I just don't understand going into a situation with everything off the table at the fore front.

Would you find issue with someone preferring not to have X,Y or Z friends because they're X, Y or Z - and X, Y or Zs tend to have personality and cultural traits that they don't vibe with... and so they go into all social situations with that in mind, and make absolutely no efforts to socialize or befriend anyone who is X, Y or Z?
 
Gordon Shumway said:
Nigga, I was playing! Sheesh! lol..Enjoy your family. Will be on until Thrones and then, possibly, on after.
Click to expand...

Didn't know you watched that. Really curious about what they're gonna do with the whole ending bit of last episode.

Dreams-Visions said:
What are u niggas doing having these deep convos. Go take ya momma's out somewhere damnit.
Click to expand...

Wish I could. She left the country Thursday so I'm not seeing her until I leave myself on the 28th. Called her, though. Best I could do.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

The Black Culture Thread XX
271 272 273 274 275
14K
873K
Musky_Cheese replied
New All You Can Eat Sushi Thread — So Full I May Not Survive the Night
25
2K
eddie4 replied
  • Locked
The Black Culture Thread |OT19| - You Still Can't Say Tanned
394 395 396 397 398
20K
873K
Lightning_Roller replied
  • Locked
The Black Culture Thread |OT17| - Thanks, Obama
385 386 387 388 389
19K
721K
LotusHD replied
  • Locked
The Black Culture Thread |OT18| - Ma-ma-ma-MAXIMUM! Haram Achieved
391 392 393 394 395
20K
765K
Angelus Errare replied
Top Bottom