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[={<SMOKE>}=]

Sounds about right to me.
In my experience (yes, IMO time):
1) People are more attracted to self confidence and independance. Calling somebody every day is sending the wrong signals.
2) If what you want is physical contact in your life, then this relationship was going the wrong way from the start. You gotta be clear about your inentions with casual sex. This wasn't a casual kinda thing by a long shot; it's clearly pushing her emotional commitment buttons.
3) Emotional tug-of-war like this sucks. Sucks on fire. Get out while you can; either she'll come running and take the plunge/get involved with you (which I think you'll regret, but anyway), or she'll be out of your life, which is probably not a bad thing for you in the long run.

well, it wasn't me calling her everyday. if we were talking one night she would tell me that she worked until such a time and that she'd call me when she got home or that i should give her a call then. the calling was 50/50 and it certainly wasn't me bothering her.

as far as physical contact, obviously everyone needs that, but i was interested in more than that with this girl. it wasn't a "i'm only interested in sex" kind of thing.

and darscot, i understand what you're saying and i wasn't trying to insult you or anything. just saying that that kind of approach is not for me. it's not who i am. and, in all honesty, i don't believe in hiding how i feel. expressing myself makes me feel free and i find i have less stress to deal with. thanks for the advice though man.

 

[Gorey]

^^^^^^
Gotcha. Don't think I'm bashing you for being open and communicative with this woman- that is a valuable trait and not something you should be ashamed of.
At this point I'd just wait and see, and try and remember that even if it's her doing the 'call me later stuff', it behooves you to maintain an air of independance.

That said, from my experience, you'll have to suck this one up and move on at some point. She's not ready; do you want to be the one that gets jerked around repeatedly while she figures this out?

 

[={<SMOKE>}=]

^^^^^^
Gotcha. Don't think I'm bashing you for being open and communicative with this woman- that is a valuable trait and not something you should be ashamed of.
At this point I'd just wait and see, and try and remember that even if it's her doing the 'call me later stuff', it behooves you to maintain an air of independance.

That said, from my experience, you'll have to suck this one up and move on at some point. She's not ready; do you want to be the one that gets jerked around repeatedly while she figures this out?

yeah, i agree with you about the independence to a degree, but in this situation we had conversations early on about how she totally loses it when people say they are going to do things and don't do them. i would, however, tell her i'd call at say 9:00 and wouldn't get around to it until maybe 10:00 or 10:30. little things like that that would enable me to keep my word but not seem like i don't have shit else to do.

and i completely plan on moving on. i'm not trying to salvage this at all to be honest. it's just that none of my friends are around and i need to vent. thank you GAF!

 

[Deleted member 1235]

I'm WAAAY to late but

 

[ourumov]

I went through a similar story last setember/october...
People here told me to bail out...I didn't. I regret it...she treats me like a shit (or at least I feel like it) yet I return for more and more...
I just can't think into anyone that fills her place...It's either she or nobody and that makes me feel very bad...I can't do anything to get her...
Leave now...

 

[Gek54]

Sounds like some serious trust issues. Bail.

 

[Jdw40223]

no, i think you've got me all wrong. i'm a funny, positive, upbeat guy. i do like myself--more now than i ever have. i feel like in the last year or two i've really grown into the person i'll be the rest of my life (i'm 26).

however, i am lonely and i do want to find a girl i like to spend my time with. i'm through hanging out with my buddies in the bars and clubs. i'm ready to turn it down a couple notches.

it has absolutely nothing to do with how i rate my self-worth. thanks for your input though.

Listen man this is how it goes... ya know that race car driver that gets in a horrible accident, fire and blood, but gets out of it walking?! Then the commentators say: "If he wasn't in such good shape, he would have died!" Well, thats what you need to be like in your life. Work at your career, anything to make yourself better, funnier, more interesting.. so that women will want to join YOU in your life.. not vice versa. You have to be able to take the 'horrible accidents' and get out alive.
If you are busy with makeing your life interesting, chances are you wont come off as a needy SOB. You want the chic to be needy... thats what they like. Hence, challenge.


If you are more emotionial then she is... then she doesn't NEED you. Another tip: if you want to get rid of a girl: Tell her your feelings in the first month like ya'll been married or some shit. WTF!! act rational, not emotional.

 

[Gorey]

yeah, i agree with you about the independence to a degree, but in this situation we had conversations early on about how she totally loses it when people say they are going to do things and don't do them. i would, however, tell her i'd call at say 9:00 and wouldn't get around to it until maybe 10:00 or 10:30. little things like that that would enable me to keep my word but not seem like i don't have shit else to do.

and i completely plan on moving on. i'm not trying to salvage this at all to be honest. it's just that none of my friends are around and i need to vent. thank you GAF!

Following through on your word is good. If she wasn't so close to the emotional borderline with the commitment/dependancy thing, it would help your cause.

GAF has to be good for something besides debating the micrometer-measured size of Japanese Handheld machines, so vent away my friend.

 

[Jdw40223]

There aint shit to vent about SMOKE!! ITs all good.. you've spent 26 yrs w/o her and 1.5 months with her.

you do the math. NUMB3RZZZZZZZZZZ

get wit the program: public main static avoid (her)