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The most unfunny man on TV

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Could it be Matt Gallant from Animal Planet?

Gallant2004.jpg


I like cute and funny animal home videos as much as the next person, but there's something almost sadistic watching poor Matt make pitiful jokes as a set-up while sporting that huge trademarked smile of his.
 

impirius

Member
I instantly thought of the same person.

One of the things in life that drives me mad is knowing that the people who write the lines for Planet's Funniest Animals probably make more money than I do.
 

tedtropy

$50/hour, but no kissing on the lips and colors must be pre-separated
It has to hurt to grin like that jackass all the time. Perhaps they have some form of electrical wiring inside his mouth. Oh, he also does some of the DirecTV guide channel shows. His annoyance is only canceled out by the hottie that cohosts with him.
 

fennec fox

ferrets ferrets ferrets ferrets FERRETS!!!
Animal Planet in general gives me a headache, as does PAX, Lifetime, OLN and many other nether-region cable networks.
 

human5892

Queen of Denmark
Hahaha, I thought of that guy, too.

I also hate how much they ride the laugh and applause tracks on that show...holy freaking Christ, it's worse than Full House. It's compounded by the fact that you can tell the studio they're filming in is no bigger than a large bathroom, and so there obviously is no audience there laughing or applauding.
 

xsarien

daedsiluap
I thought this thread was about Colin Quinn. (Although I guess he doesn't count, as he's not on TV anymore.)
 

SickBoy

Member
The Animal Planet guy sucks, but I don't know if I blame him because the writing is atrocious.

Bob Saget is horrible, though... and I don't know if you've ever caught an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos lately, but they've either got new writers, or the new guy is just proving how bad Saget really is... because he's far more watchable.

Another completely unfunny TV person is the other uncle from Full House (the non-John Stamos one). Not that John Stamos is funny either.

How the hell did Full House stay on the air for so many years?
 

Andy787

Banned
Raoul Duke said:
You are all wrong. Jimmy Fallon is the unfunniest man alive.
I believe this news.

Raoul Duke said:
WTF? It's probably people like you that make people like Jay Leno possible. Thanks, pal.
I believe this news.


You know your funny, my good socialist.
 

Karg

Member
I always thought they made the jokes so bad to take the Mentos route. So cheesy and stupid that you had to watch.

On another note whenever I do watch the animal show my dog will watch but turns his head when Matt Gallant comes on the TV.
 

Loki

Count of Concision
silver said:

Hah, I was gonna say the same thing. He made America's Funniest Home Videos painful to watch. Wasn't he actually a comedian before he was on Full House, too? If so, it's amazing that he was able to stay employed.
 

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Jay Leno is actually kinda funny; it's just the writing for his show that is complete and utter shit.
 
on TV, Saget is really bad. On stage, he will really change your mind about the Full House/AFV tag.

I nominate, the Sklar brothers. Horribly unfunny.
 

Amneziak

aka The Hound
YES! Jimmy Fallon is terrible. I couldn't understand why they put him on weekend update instead of just giving it to Tina Fey (which would have been a landmark for the show–there's never been a lone female anchor before, if I remember correctly).

But hey–Bob Saget's stand-up was actually pretty good... he's just been on crappy shows since then. For the money he's probably made, I'd have done the same thing.

And Ray Romano? He was also a great stand-up, and from what little I've seen of his show, I thought it was good.

Otherwise, I agree with just about everyone else. Especially Fallon. He needs to die.
 

Guzim

Member
The Hound said:
YES! Jimmy Fallon is terrible. I couldn't understand why they put him on weekend update instead of just giving it to Tina Fey (which would have been a landmark for the show–there's never been a lone female anchor before, if I remember correctly).
Now there are two female anchors! Hooray!

Tina Fey needs to get fired :(
 

Justin Bailey

------ ------
I would say Saget. He redeamed himself with half-baked, but that was a movie so it doesn't count. My sister hated him so much she would mute him while watching AFHV.
 

Justin Bailey

------ ------
SickBoy said:
The Animal Planet guy sucks, but I don't know if I blame him because the writing is atrocious.

Bob Saget is horrible, though... and I don't know if you've ever caught an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos lately, but they've either got new writers, or the new guy is just proving how bad Saget really is... because he's far more watchable.

Another completely unfunny TV person is the other uncle from Full House (the non-John Stamos one). Not that John Stamos is funny either.

How the hell did Full House stay on the air for so many years?
Dave Coulier wasn't bad, he did some decent voice gags.
 

Memles

Member
temp said:
have you even seen fred armisen?

Yes, and he's not unfunny. He does a mean Prince.

My vote is going to have to go to Dr. Phil. Because, audience, those aren't jokes. Those are really, really stupid comments that are so idiotic you think they're funny, but they're not.
 

Coop

Member
Instigator said:
Could it be Matt Gallant from Animal Planet?

Gallant2004.jpg


I like cute and funny animal home videos as much as the next person, but there's something almost sadistic watching poor Matt make pitiful jokes as a set-up while sporting that huge trademarked smile of his.

He used to host a show on G4 called "game on" it was awful. But i thought his co-host on that show was worse than him.
 

Silkworm

Member
Game On... I always wondered what happened to those hosts. Was that show fullly paid for by EB Games? At least the human Pac Man competition was somewhat amusing.... :p And gotta love that motion sensor fighting competition they set up at that water park. Good times :p :-x

BTW speaking of G4 hosts... Wasn't that guy that was on the gadget show (which maybe was a TechTV show originally and then was on G4TechTV) with his female co-host the same guy that's in the BowFlex infomerical? He looks a lot like the same guy.... o_o
 

Silkworm

Member
BTW I used to think Everybody Loves Raymond was great but the last two seasons haven't been as funny IMHO. I guess it's time for them to move on, which is what they're doing with this being the last season. At least I've found King of Queens as my substitute for this type of humor on CBS (Arrested Development and other shows can fill in for my other humor needs/tastes).
 

whytemyke

Honorary Canadian.
meh... it's hard to slam leno, because rumor has it his standup stuff is incredibly funny and absolutely nothing like his show. So he's not necessarily unfunny.

Anyone on the cast of SNL right now besides Darrel Hammond is definitely in the running for this title.

Wanda Sykes, if we're including women, definitely gets to throw her hat in the ring.

Can we put Adam Sessler on this list, too? I want to slap him like a little girl everytime I see him.
 

alejob

Member
Raoul Duke said:
WTF? It's probably people like you that make people like Jay Leno possible. Thanks, pal.

Hey pal, I'm just trying to save the world from stupidity. Really, how stupid can his jokes be?(not to mention his gay bald sidekick)


mj1108 said:
I hope you both anally rape yourselves with rusty sporks.

Well, since you're getting it on with Letterman I think you still loose :p

I also agree with the Martin Short thing.





But really, people just have different tastes.
 
Honest answer: Larry the Cable Guy

---
I also have a little scoring chart I use for standup that i'll probably catch flak for:
-1 point for being black (no offense or racism meant here, but alot of their routines boil down to WHITE PEOPLE DO THIS BLACK PEOPLE DO THIS garbage. When they actually tell jokes, they're funny).

-5 points for being female

-10 points for trying to include some sort of message, because they almost always fall flat on their faces. Damn hippies.

-15 points for being a lesbian

-20 points for being gay

-50 points for being a black female (sorry, you're not funny. Ever.)

-295 points for being Ant or Larry the Cable Guy.

Edit: And no, I tend not to think before I hit "post", if that needs to be clarified.
 
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