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[RedShift]

Just for the benefit of others:

In the UK we have schools delineated into the following categories:

Comprehensive/State schools - these are the equivalent of "public" schools in other countries. Free schools paid for by the state, where quality standards are geographically variable. They do all follow a national curriculum though.

Grammar schools - basically "free" private schools that require kids to pass exams to get into. the Labour Party has been trying to destroy them for years and the quality is generally very good. They do not follow the national curriculum and thus the quality of education is more highly optimised towards excellence.

Private schools - same as the above but parents pay through the nose to put their kids through them.

Public schools - typically the reserve of the kids of the rich, celebrities, royals and those with aristocratic lineage (dukes, barons, earls etc).


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Aside from the fact that your friends are utter dicks (find new/real friends bro), is it really that surprising that some people don't hold the same regard for the value of education as you do?

You should read more about UK history, and how Thatcher's war against the labour unions basically created a social rift between the wealthy and powerful in this country and those without. The ramifications being the sentimental shift for much of the population, away from aspirations of social mobility, due to the increased perceptions of hostility towards the educated and and wealthy classes of society. This problem was never really solved and a lot of these sentiments run directly into the divisions we see today with Brexit etc.

But I don't even think this is part of the problem with your friends either.

Generally speaking, you don't get into public school unless not only are your parents are well-to-do, but also whether you live in the relevant catchment areas, many of which are insanely expensive for most people to afford to live there. Maybe your family's been resident in a qualifying area for a very long time, i.e. before globalisation, immigration and population growth pushed up the value of the UK property market to astronomical levels over the past 30 years?

Either way I think it's useful to acknowledge at least a certain amount of privilege having the luxury to have attended one of the most prestigious school-groups in the country.

Still doesn't justify the shit your friends were throwing at you around the dinner table though.

My advice to you; consider expanding your social circle a little wider. Ethnic migrants, whether 1st, 2nd or greater generational, are great friends to have since they don't bring with them the same cultural baggage when it comes to attitudes towards education, and for many actively value it more than you probably do, given that their families were entirely willing to sacrifice leaving their homes, families and people back home to prioritise it for their kids. You'd probably fit in quite well among people like that, of an equivalent social class to yourself (in terms of education level and professional experience).

Chin up mate and stiff upper lip as they say...

"You'd probably fit in quite well among people like that, of an equivalent social class to yourself (in terms of education level and professional experience)."

Wait, is your advice really 'stop hanging out with jealous proles'?

Please be sarcasm. Jesus Christ.

 

[disco]

I sympathise somewhat with the OP but I do agree that private education instills privilege at birth, which is something that should not be accepted.

I went to a very cheap but the best in my local area private school. I had a nice time but outside of myself and a few others, everyone went to normal or moderate red brick universities. Through a stroke of genius I winged it into UCL. My school education merely afforded me space and a free-for-all on art materials, outside of that I carried myself to the reluctance of my careers advisor who told me that I was wasting my time and should study "something worthwhile" (i.e. not Art History).

I have reasonable experience with privately educated people (mostly gay or girls that work in the arts) that went to Oxbridge via public school - and well, they're as bright as your or I, they're cute and confident. However, if I'm being truly honest - it's all in their mannerisms, it's sad - it really is another world. Similarly, I always feel a step outside their circle - I'm good fun, but never dateable. Oh well, they're all closet Tories anyway - fuck that.

 

[oneils]

In Canada I'd be surprised if more than 3-5% of students attended private school. There really is no stigma here from what I can tell.

 

[nullset2]

I'm sorry OP but if I were you I just wouldn't have dinner with those people again and that's it.

 

[Arthr2ShdsJcksn]

The Stigma is the stench of success that only refined people can enjoy, and the rabble hate. They can make fun of you, but their children will be pumping the gas that goes into your chauffeur's car.

 

[Saganator]

OP don't take it personally, their contempt towards public school educated people is a product of the class system. Wouldn't have mattered who you were, you going to public school made you a punching bag for their frustration against the system. All you can really do is never forget where you came from and empathize w/ them, or stop hanging around the plebs.

 

[plidex]

Wow, the struggle is truly real lol

It's sad how some people have to minimize someone else's problem just because others have it worse.

Discrimination is wrong in every case.

 

[Phu]

One of my favorite youtubers gives a tour of his Public School and talks about it. Explains it a little bit for the non-Brits haha. It looks posh as fuck. I can see why there is a stigma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBOlVTSiOEs

That's posh to the point of being uncomfortable.

 

[ScatheZombie]

Because you are basically bragging to a marathon runner that you got the same time as them but you started at the finish line.

 

[SporeCrawler]

stigma is the wrong word I think. I personally like germany where all schools are public and private ones are usually special schools (montessori, waldorf). same with universities.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Don't be so soft.

If MFs are rude to you at your table, sort shit out.

Just because you might have had it easier doesn't mean you don't live in the real world. Fuck them up.

 

[crimzonflame]

Did Ali G go to a public school?

 

[daviyoung]

Did Ali G go to a public school?

he went to a comprehensive alongside Mr Bean

 

[Perfect Blue]

It's sad how some people have to minimize someone else's problem just because others have it worse.

Discrimination is wrong in every case.

I'll be sure to shed a tear for the oppressed rich 1% in society.

 

[Cocaloch]

Well let's have a look:
Elitism in Britain - breakdown by profession

https://www.theguardian.com/news/da...ession?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

So why are you complaining? 7% of you and your fellow alumni have a much greater control of the country. Ordinary people don't get the kind of chances you do.

You're asking people to take pity on you whilst crying in a metaphorical Ferrari.

There's a difference between pointing out systemic issues involving a structure or group, and picking one person and using their connection to it as an excuse to be rude to them.The fact that you don't immediately see that is troubling.

Your defense is the elitism that is the problem. You got a leg up while your friends had to work harder just to sit at the same table as you. You lack awateness of the bubble you grew up in, and rather than trying to understand your friends perspective you critisize them and in so doing prove thier point.

Making fun of him isn't a perspective though. There isn't any content there to learn. Again having problems with the education system is one thing. Being rude to someone because of something they had no control over is another.

 

[Count Dookkake]

There's a difference between pointing out systemic issues involving a structure or group, and picking one person and using their connection to it as an excuse to be rude to them.The fact that you don't immediately see that is troubling.

To be fair, that they don't see it may stem from a lackluster education, which is still troubling.

 

[daviyoung]

There's a difference between pointing out systemic issues involving a structure or group, and picking one person and using their connection to it as an excuse to be rude to them.The fact that you don't immediately see that is troubling.

ah, the old "don't hate the player, hate the game" excuse

 

[Cocaloch]

Thank you Americans for all your great and interesting contributions to this thread. Keep it up.

Well obviously every American norm is right and logical and when other norms don't work well with the American ones those silly foreigners need to "sort their shit out".

ah, the old "don't hate the player, hate the game" excuse

No, its the old "don't be an asshole" excuse.

Do you make a habit of making fun of people you aren't particularly close to to their face? If so I think I might have found the issue.

 

[Woffls]

I know a bunch of people who went to public school, and pretty much all of them are just good people who were given a better start. They have confidence and the education to back it up, so they end up succeeding.

It might not be fair, but neither is ridiculing someone you don't know just because of systemic injustices which are likely out of their control as an individual.

 

[Stinkles]

well that's weird as fuck

Sooorrrt of. The term was used to describe an institution that anyone with sufficient funds ("the public") could attend to better themselves, and to better those around them. A bit socratic and obviously classics and greek and latin were big parts of that.


Democracy also simply meant landowners and the gentry in ancient Rome and Greece.

I had a stout oldschool comprehensive school education, but learned enough about art and history to play a tiny fiddle for the OP's burning.

 

[Red Liquorice]

I mean so you get a bit of ribbing every now and again because of jealousy and sour grapes. I think that's a fair trade off for starting on the inside track. Most people aren't even on the outside track... a lot aren't even told where the stadium doors are or that there's even a race on at all.

 

[Cocaloch]

Sounds like the OPs friends were going too far, but you can't expect to mention that you're literally in the elite of the elite, and not get some mild mockery. It's like an American saying they were in some elite Harvard fraternity - people will ask how much buggery was in the entry requirements.

America actually more or less has a direct equivalent of Public Schools with a number of the boarding schools in the North East, Andover and Exeter in particular.

You also don't really get made fun of in the US for going to elite universities.

I mean so you get a bit of ribbing every now and again because of jealousy and sour grapes. I think that's a fair trade off for starting on the inside track. Most people aren't even on the outside track... a lot aren't even told where the stadium doors are or that there's even a race on at all.

It's not the end of the world that the OP was made fun of, but I don't think structural inequality, which is a serious problem, gives people licenses to be assholes, which does nothing to solve that problem.

 

[Count Dookkake]

America actually more or less has a direct equivalent of Public Schools with a number of the boarding schools in the North East, Andover and Exeter in particular.

You also don't really get made fun of in the US for going to elite schools usually.

Dated a girl who went to Andover. Those kids are all kinds of fucked up.

 

[LosDaddie]

You have to stand up for yourself, OP. Either call them out on their bullshit, or get up and leave.

Don't let other people's jealousy get you down. There's always going to be haters in life.

 

[Cocaloch]

Not their fault for having ill preconceptions I guess. It's the fault of institutions; I'm very much an exception to the rule of social class and wealth still having a huge impact on the trajectory your life will take. Too many of my friends and peers from my school are drifting through life, listless. They were let down by the system. I suppose the good thing is that it really motivates me, I have more ambition than pretty much anyone I know here.

Again though the issue isn't the ill preconceptions, those are fine. I don't particularly like Andover and Exeter for much the same reason, but when I meet people that were educated there I don't immediately take that feeling out on them.

Dated a girl who went to Andover. Those kids are all kinds of fucked up.

There are some really weird social things going on at those schools.

 

[Abelard]

Sorry but not sorry OP, you're privileged enough to go to a private school so don't be so soft. The rest of us who went to state-paid schools (public schools in America) have actually been disadvantaged by our shitty government.

 

[SolVanderlyn]

Stigma? I'm jealous. Public (USA) schools are nowhere near as good as private schools are.

Ignore those rude people.

 

[Air Zombie Meat]

That sucks but it's not as if public school types don't look down on the commoners too.

 

[Cocaloch]

Sorry but not sorry OP, you're privileged enough to go to a private school so don't be so soft. The rest of us who went to state-paid schools (public schools in America) have actually been disadvantaged by our shitty government.

So should adults that run into kids there also start making fun of them or what? When do you cross over into asshole territory exactly?

That sucks but it's not as if public school types don't look down on the commoners too.

Right, and that's a shitty thing to do as well.

 

[Hazzuh]

I guess you'll just have to settle for your life being better than the lives of people who went to state schools in almost every way.

 

[Dougald]

The reason people give you stick in this country is because (at least in the case of my public schoolboy friends)

A) We know it annoys you so we do it to wind you up
B) We secretly feel inferior due to how deeply the class system is ingrained into British society, and are deflecting

 

[Stinkles]

America actually more or less has a direct equivalent of Public Schools with a number of the boarding schools in the North East, Andover and Exeter in particular.

You also don't really get made fun of in the US for going to elite universities.


.

I have found that Oxbridge and even Eton types don't festoon their desks and license plate holders with branding from their Alma Mater though. And I have yet to meet a Harvard or Yale graduate who wasn't either ACTUALLY wearing branding or mentioned it within the first ten minutes of a conversation.

Of course that can't prove a negative. But it's a meaningful observation over about 22 years.

 

[Neo C.]

It's not the fault of the OP, but the UK system fucking sucks.

In other countries, schools paid by the state are better on average than private schools because the state finances them well.

 

[TheChewyWaffles]

N.b. Non UK readers, 'public school' means 'private school', because Britain.

Well that changes things. OP made no sense until you interpreted.

 

[Cocaloch]

I have found that Oxbridge and even Eton types don't festoon their desks and license plate holders with branding from their Alma Mater though. And I have yet to meet a Harvard or Yale graduate who wasn't either ACTUALLY wearing branding or mentioned it within the first ten minutes of a conversation.

Of course that can't prove a negative. But it's a meaningful observation over about 22 years.

I know a lot of American Elite university alumni and Oxbridge types and you're right that the former are more likely to directly say, though outside of 18-20 year olds I never see them wear the branding, where they went. That being said Oxbridge types definitely let you know, they are just less direct about it. That probably says more about upper class cultures in the US and Britain than anything else though.

The branding is a weird thing because probably around 90% of Americans that wear elite university clothing have no association with the university.

I'm also not quite sure how this is relevant though? My point was that Americans really don't make fun of people for going to elite universities that often, though maybe that's just to their faces.

 

[Wild Card]

Just because your a little better off than others does not give them a pass to be assholes to you OP.

A shitty attitude is still a shitty attitude, no matter what rationales you come up with for it. It can be understandable, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with it.

 

[Antialias]

I went to a public school. One of the really expensive ones. In my defense, I hated it and took advantage of none of the opportunities that presented themselves. I went to two different boarding schools from the age of 8 to 18.

I went because my parents strongly valued traditional private education and were willing to make sacrifices in order to provide it to their children.

What you find in these schools is around half the pupils are like me - middle class English kids whose parents overvalue tradition - and half are children of the ultra-rich and come from all over the world.

Boarding school is like a crucible for personal development. You spend all your time with other kids and friendships/hatreds/rivalries become very intense. You can't escape to your family at the end of the day, and so you have to live with the consequences of the social roles you inhabit. What this means is that the experience can be very traumatic, but it is also good training for adulthood; especially roles like politics where the ability to make people like you is critically important. The people that rise to the top tend to develop strong sociopathic tendencies.

Public school is by no means a guarantee of success. For instance, I have still probably still not earned more money in adulthood than my parents spent on my education. Other people I know from school are stuck in dead-end jobs, unlikely to be even a fraction as successful as their parents. The ultra-wealthy kids tend to be weighed down with a lot of parental expectations, and sink or swim in even more extreme ways; for instance my circle of school friends includes both an oil company CEO and this guy.

When I have children I will be strongly against sending them to boarding school, because it's an extremely unnatural way of raising a child.

 

[Porcile]

How do you go from private school to grammar school to doing BTECs? I knew people that thought if you got less than As having attended a private school you were an idiot.

Hmm, thanks. Unsurprisingly such an education in my formative years did not endear itself to me so I left school as soon as possible and did exactly what I wanted to do instead. Afterwards, I went to university and got a first class degree and a master's with distinction so my secondary education meant jack shit in the end.

 

[Bleepey]

That's posh to the point of being uncomfortable.

I've known posher. I went on a date with a girl who sounded like she had elocution lessons wouldn't surprise me if she read Debrett's and had finishing school as well

 

[Bleepey]

Hmm, thanks. Unsurprisingly such an education in my formative years did not endear itself to me so I left school as soon as possible and did exactly what I wanted to do instead. Afterwards, I went to university and got a first class degree and a master's with distinction so my secondary education meant jack shit in the end.

Sorry I came across as a dick. Most people I know who went to private school pretty much all got As

 

[samn]

I've been living here for 15 years and this still confuses me.

It's so dumb.

Regular UK public schools are so strict, walled off/gated and uniforms, and shit, they might as well be private schools.

Glad I was never schooled here.

UK state schools are not nearly strict enough. I went to a school rated outstanding by Ofsted and many boring hours were spent waiting for the other kids to shut the hell up

 

[Bleepey]

Did Ali G go to a public school?

The character went to state school, the actor went to public school.

 

[Eusis]

I thought it was

State School - Government run, no fee for attending but you're kind of assigned which one you go to based on where you live.

Public School - Fee for attending, but any one who can afford it is allowed in.

Private School - Fee for attending, but they school chooses who is allowed in.

... I could google this but I can't be bothered.

Ok, this explanation makes sense and what I was expecting rather than "we flip it because we're British!"

Still made the OP sound like he was dining with some really bizarre snobs though, rather than just normal jerks.

 

[Carnby]

N.b. Non UK readers, 'public school' means 'private school', because Britain.

Thanks for clearing it up. I was confused.

OP, they sound jealous.

 

[Bleepey]

OP Which supermarket do you shop at?

 

[Ominym]

N.b. Non UK readers, 'public school' means 'private school', because Britain.

England you crazy. I was really confused reading that whole thing until I read this, so thanks for posting it.

 

[Snowybreak]

Jesus some of the responses in this thread. You really gonna bash a guy because his parents sent him to a private institution?

 

[NetMapel]

My question to the OP would be did attending such institution gave you a leg up? Seems like you're just working and hanging along with people who didn't go to one. Did you feel you got an advantage over the other people?

 

[Biske]

N.b. Non UK readers, 'public school' means 'private school', because Britain.

What in the hell.

At this point, you brits are just using words in wrong ways just to be silly.



I went to actual real public school in America, poor, shitty education, blah blah. I'd give people shit for going to private school too, always seem like preppy assholes. Sorry op.

 

[The Albatross]

Today I learned that public school means private school in the UK. That's a horse of a different colour. Also thanks to Archangelmorph for the description.

In the US, there isn't too much of a stigmatic difference between public and private, though there can be if you went to a very prestigious private school or prep school, though those are usually less common. Most of my friends growing up and in college went to public school, but a good number of my friends went to private school and there's no stigmatic difference on their school vs. anybody else's. My wife and I will send our kids to public school because she's a public school teacher, but otherwise, we don't care.