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[Minotauro]

I was just upstairs in my house getting a glass of water when I overheard some lines from the movie Training Day that's currently playing on USA. It was the scene where the Ethan Hawke character spots a couple of crackheads trying to rape some girl in an alley. After Denzel's character beats the shit out of them and then threatens to blow one of their nuts off, he turns to walk back to the car and exclaims, "Damn, I'm thirsty! I want a beer!" Only, in this version, everything after the word "damn" is edited out.

Uhm, WHAT THE FUCK? Right after this scene ran, I swear, they went to a series of commercials in which a beer ad appeared. How on Earth does this make any sense?

 

[MrAngryFace]

Did you ever see that mr show skit with the edited mafia movie. Haha at one point Cross flips off one of the other people at the table and they crapily put a thumbs up in place of the middle finger.

"MOTHER FATHER CHINESE DENTIST!"

 

[aparisi2274]

U think thats bad. I was watching a movie on USA, and I think it was Beverly Hills Cop, or something, and in the movie they say "Fuck you Asshole" however on USA it was "Forget You Airhead"

 

[xsarien]

The dumbest - and also, most classic - "TV edit" is still from Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

"Piece of shit" turns into "piece of tin."

 

[Mason]

When Speed plays on USA, they change the line "Pop quiz, asshole" to a horribly dubbed, off-pitch, "Pop quiz, ANIMAL."

 

[dream]

The Scarface DVD shows some of the changes they made for the TV version. One of the more memorable edits was replacing "eating pussy" with "eating pineapple."

 

[SlickWilly223]

Brian: "You wanna take a ______ in Mother Mary's shoes?"
Stewie: *Nods*

What Brian is supposed to say is "Dump," but for some reason that was too raunchy for Fox to keep in when they aired it on TV a month or 2 ago.

 

[Hournda]

I was watching a TV version of Rush Hour and when Jackie Chan says "What's up my nigger?" they changed it to "What's up...my negro??"

 

[sc0la]

Brian: "You wanna take a ______ in Mother Mary's shoes?"
Stewie: *Nods*

What Brian is supposed to say is "Dump," but for some reason that was too raunchy for Fox to keep in when they aired it on TV a month or 2 ago.

A new episode of the simpsons last season totally garbled a word Lisa said when she was talking about witchcraft. It was a new episode too so I have no clue what it was supposed to be.

 

[BigJonsson]

YIPPEE KAY YAY MISTER FALCON

 

[The Shadow]

I couldn't believe how horrible The Matrix was censored. I think it was on USA on Sunday. I own the movie on DVD so I've never seen it on TV until that day but holy shit, some of the replacement choices were terrible.

Trinity watches Neo getting hauled off by agents: "Shucks!". Granted, there were quite a few more, that's just the one I can recall at the moment. I remember the conversation between Smith and Neo being pretty damn funny. I think he said something like "How about I flip you a burger..." or something equally retarded.

 

[FoneBone]

In the network version, the guard in the lobby says "Holy smoke!" when Neo pulls out the guns.

 

[Matlock]

YIPPEE KAY YAY MISTER FALCON

That's Die Hard 2. Die Hard 3 has:

YIPPEE KAY YAY MELON FARMER

 

[3rdman]

I was watching Braveheart on USA and they showed EVERY single bloody scene including the one where Mel Gibson crushes the skull of some guy laying in his bed. But, when it came to the love scene with the Frech chick...one kiss and then commercial. I guess its just more evidence of our incredibly stupid moral structure.

 

[Vicious]

My favorite TV edit will always be the one from Ace Ventura where they change the word "dick" to "gerkin".

"The murderer saw the size of the bug's dick, and became insanely jealous."

"The murderer saw the size of the bug's gerkin, and became insanely jealous."

 

[Minotauro]

My favorite of all time is from The Big Lebowski. They changed "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" to "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!"

 

[tedtropy]

I can understand that certain networks have to censor/edit movies before airing them, but instead of injecting insultingly bad replacement phrases that usually sound nothing like the original actor, can we just go back to the ole' method of just muting out the evil, evil words? Pretty soon they're going to start CG-ing on clothes during sex scenes for censored movies or something...

 

[Quadrophenic]

The tv edit that I always remember is the one for Mallrats.

"I gave them a mad karate chop, yo!"

 

[Lathentar]

They already do that. Bravo, I think, did it when they showed Showgirls. It looked sooo bad.

 

[=W=]

GIMME THE KEYS YOU FAIRY GODMOTHER!

 

[tedtropy]

They already do that. Bravo, I think, did it when they showed Showgirls. It looked sooo bad.

Ah geez, you've gotta be kidding me. There's some movies they really need to just not bother with...

 

[Eminem]

the sign in Die Hard 3 that reads "I HATE N***ERS" has been edited to say both "I HATE PEOPLE" and "I HATE EVERYONE"

 

[human5892]

Brian: "You wanna take a ______ in Mother Mary's shoes?"
Stewie: *Nods*

What Brian is supposed to say is "Dump," but for some reason that was too raunchy for Fox to keep in when they aired it on TV a month or 2 ago.

Another Fox edit from their recent Family Guy reruns:

Asian Reporter Trisha Takanawa: So you've just broken out of jail. What are your plans?
Convict: I'm going to go home, bang my girlfriend...AND KILL CHRIS GRIFFIN!
Stewie: Good lord...can he really say 'bang my girlfriend' on television?

In the Fox edit, "bang" was taken out, which adds a whole new level of unintentional comedy to the line.

The fact that we still have certain words in our society that can somehow be "bad" is another painful reminder of our inability to completely dispense with archaic elements of the past.

 

[FoneBone]

At least at first, I thought that the intent of the Family Guy edits was to imply the use of stronger language (for instance, "shit" instead of "dump", and "fuck" instead of "bang")... but I'm probably giving them way too much credit.

 

[sc0la]

The fact that we still have certain words in our society that can somehow be "bad" is another painful reminder of our inability to completely dispense with archaic elements of the past.

There will always be "bad" words. If they are not considered bad by certain segment of society then they lose their impact.

Bad words are certainly not archaic, that they change as often as (or even more often than in some cases) the rest of our speach speaks volumes about their importance

 

[Dreamfixx]

HANSEL TO ZOOLANDER: You can 'Derelict' my malls!

malls = balls? was balls really that bad?

 

[tedtropy]

There will always be "bad" words. If they are not considered bad by certain segment of society then they lose their impact.

Bad words are certainly not archaic, that they change as often as (or even more often than in some cases) the rest of our speach speaks volumes about their importance

I like that we have words that are considered profane. When used in moderation, an occasional 'shit' or 'fuck' is that little bit of extra spice and emphasis a sentence might need.

 

[Mama Smurf]

In the UK Angel was originally bought by Channel 4 and they aired it at 6 o'clock. Buffy was on BBC2 around that time with a few little edits, but that's all. Channel 4 apparently decided this wasn't enough, so removed ENTIRE fight scenes from Angel. And not just really bloody ones. All of them (as far as I can remember).

Oooh I can't think why it didn't get good ratings. Wankers.

They also show Smallville, and edited out the scene in season 2 where Clark gets thrown into a giant furnace. Good job too, way too many kids would have copied that with their friends in the giant furnace in their...back...garden....

 

[BigJonsson]

I BLAME JANET JACKSON

 

[JoshuaJSlone]

The dumbest - and also, most classic - "TV edit" is still from Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

"Piece of shit" turns into "piece of tin."

I also enjoy "Cameron is so tight you could stick a piece of coal in his fist and it would become a diamond."

 

[calder]

The worst music-channel editing ever was, surprisingly, not from MTV (the channel who can't even not edit to shit shows it titles "UNEDITED!"). Muchmusic played the Papa Roach song 'Last Resort', but for whatever reason edited out every reference to hurting yourself. Which, if the entire song is about suicide, pretty much completely defeats the purpose and makes the song meaningless to boot.

It kinda went like this (from memory):

___ my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort, _________, no ________
Don't give a ____ if I ________________
Do you even care _____________
Would it be wrong, would it be right
If I took _________, chance are that I might
________ out of sight and I'm contemplating ________


You could tell Much didn't want to play the song at all, so they ignored it until it had already become very popular on the radio and they had no choice but to play the video. For a station that would gleefully air "Asshole" and only edit 'fuck' it was a bizarre thing to see.

 

[Mama Smurf]

Oh that reminds me! On TheHits or some music channel in the UK, they pixelated part of an Avril Lavigne video where she smashes a mirror by throwing a glass at it.

...

I don't even know why that was edited out. It confused me for so long as I'd never seen the unedited video and wanted to know what it was hiding. But no, it wasn't a reflection of her with her tits out after all, it was just as glass breaking a mirror. Crazy.

 

[Pochacco]

WASSUP MAH NEGRO?

 

[Saint Cornelius]

My favorite of all time is from The Big Lebowski. They changed "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!" to "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!"

rofl rofl rofl! holy shit I can't even believe they TRIED to make an edited version of The Big Lebowski.

 

[bjork]

Smokey: I don't give a FLUKE!


The other one was that naked gun where he is like "nice beaver!" while the lady is above him on the lady... they changed it to "nice one!" wtf

 

[ManDudeChild]

That's Die Hard 2. Die Hard 3 has:

YIPPEE KAY YAY MELON FARMER

IAWTP. I had to do a double take before I would believe they did THAT edit. They could have said, "Mother Flucker" or "Mother sucker" or ... well anything.

 

[way more]

"Great zombie Jesus" is always edited out of Futurama on Cartoon Network.

 

[LakeEarth]

In the network version, the guard in the lobby says "Holy smoke!" when Neo pulls out the guns.

And when they remove the 'bug' out of his bellybutton, Neo says "JEEPERS CREEPERS THAT WAS REAL!!"

 

[AeroGod]

Censorship is retarded.

 

[Miguel]

WHAT THE FRUIT IS GOING ON HERE?
DID YOU JUST CALL ME AN ICE CREAM?
YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT YOU FRUITING GUMBALL RUM SOUP!
YOU BISCUIT!

 

[Brannon]

Denzel Washington shoots John Goodman in the original version of "Fallen". After a bit of dialogue when Denzel reveals his plan to end the demon's reign of terror, John tells him "fuck you motherfucker!".

In the original version.

In the oh-so-wholesome TBS version, when you get shot and are told you will cease to exist, you tell your arch-nemesis "forget you my friend!".

TBS needs to not exist sometimes...

 

[CajoleJuice]

Dumb and Dumber - Right on my SANDWICH, after you kiss it!

The Big Lebowski one has to be the best :lol

 

[JoshuaJSlone]

On the one hand these changes disgust me... but on the other hand they can add so much unexpected humor!

 

[Flynn]

Ghostbusters:

RAY:
Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by Wally Wick here.

PECK
They caused an explosion!

MAYOR
Is this true?

PETER
Yes, it's true. This man is some kind of rodent.

 

[XS+]

You wanna know what rocks? Watching RoboCop 1 uncensored on Japanese broadcast TV. None of this 'Ladies leave!' bullcrap.

 

[Error Macro]

Ghostbusters:

RAY:
Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by Wally Wick here.

PECK
They caused an explosion!

MAYOR
Is this true?

PETER
Yes, it's true. This man is some kind of rodent.

Except this was really cool because they actually filmed alternate scenes while they were making the movie for the eventual TV release. So it's not dubbed over or anything, it was actually shot that way.

"You get that court order, and I'll sue your funny face for wrongful prosecution."

 

[Docpan]

NEO: "How about you give me my phonecall, and I give you the FLIPPER."

 

[mightynine]

God, I love TV edits.

 

[gblues]

GIMME THE KEYS YOU FAIRY GODMOTHER!

Winnar.

Nathan

 

[ZombieSupaStar]

I love they live



Im here to chew bubblegum and kick ass


to


Im here to chew bubblegum and kickofff