I'd be curious to hear what your wife actually has to say on the matter. My wife and I have actually discussed this before. One of the things that she thinks is difficult about being a woman, specifically a gamer woman, is that there are very few games where she gets to play as a woman. That's what we call under representation. Remember, women make up half of the population. Realistically, they should make up half of the gaming protagonists. Remember that when you cry foul of "forced diversity."
As for whether that's addressed by playing games with female protagonists, yeah, of course it is. Bullseye levels of gratification. She plays all sorts of games, obviously, but she really appreciates the chance to play games with fully realized female protagonists. Heck, I think it's half the reason she's playing Assassin's Creed Odyssey right now.
We talked about it but in the end we kind of concluded that you'd probably literally have to make "Woman Simulator 2019" and have it filled to the brim with Feminist talking points. Even then you are just going to have most people saying "hm, that's a game to never ever play".
In a sense you'd literally have to trick the audience but it seems doomed to failure since making it too obvious will be off putting.
I was using an example like Horizon: Zero Dawn as I have played approx 70 hours in the game. Thing is that the game didn't have much in it that would teach non-women exactly what life is like for a woman. There's no like big come to Jesus moment where the player could reasonably say "oh my gosh THIS is what it's like to be a woman in our society". Aloy could have been switched out for a dude or the entire game could have been filled with anthropomorphic animals and it would have made no difference.
It doesn't even feel like the game sneakily made me realize some new non-male truth that I had not yet acknowledged.
She reckons that God of War doesn't really have much to say about being a man or even being a father because the game events are so "out there" it just doesn't seem to translate well to reality. Like the pudgy men in the supermarket with their kid sitting in the trolley are not more relatable to her because she spent some hours hacking up Draugr as Kratos.
Games where you choose a gender are mostly useless since things like Bloodborne, Far Cry 5, Skyrim etc do not give any particular insight into the experience of women in the real world.
She reckons that mascot games like Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, Mario etc would not have much extra to offer her if they were female. I tend to agree with that.
So when I am saying to her "what would a game have to do to teach me things about what it's like to be a woman" the only thing we could come up with would be like a management sim that would actually be kind of a bit patronizing. As I said "Woman Simulator 2019" was the best we could come up with.
The point was made also that, being over 30, I already have enough life experience that I shouldn't necessarily need a video game to help me understand the lives of others. She's correct about that too. I already understand what uniquely female challenges she has to face in her life so shoehorning that into, for example, a Sci-Fi shooting game seems rather pointless.
Does she prefer to play female led games? Depends on the game.
Right now she is mostly playing Smash and mostly picking Kirby so...? I dunno.
I was even trying to get at something like what does the Wonder Woman movie offer that, say, Ant-Man doesn't and again the response is that the gender of the protagonist in these seems largely irrelevant compared to a movie that might be dealing with Rape Culture or post-natal depression etc. Having the big bad and main obstacle in a Wonder Woman movie be her period cramps is NOT going to go over well with audiences.
I think maybe a core problem is that there are some people who consume escapist content in a way that demands it be believable that they themselves could be the main protagonist. Not quite a Mary Sue, self-insert, but something similar.
Then there are others who just see Aloy or Kratos or whoever as an interesting character without really identifying with them to such a large degree.
So you have a little conflict there.
Personally I think it's kind of sad that some folk need to match their gender or race to the protagonist in a game in order to achieve full gratification while at the same time thinking that it's other people who need to develop empathy.
I'm reminded of those dudes in front of the Black Panther poster banging on about how "this is what white people get to feel like ALL THE TIME". It's just so weird. I can't think of a single superhero movie ever that made me think "wow, the hero is basically me".
I don't even think I'd WANT a game that was like "Saruhashi - Quest For The Golden Thingamajig". My day consists of mostly moaning about stuff. Good luck getting compelling yet empathy inducing and instructive gameplay mechanics out of that.