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[Lord Fagan]

I was dishonorably discharged for surfing porn on military computers.

Twice.

 

[MichaelFassbender]

I am awoken in the early morning by loud, insistent banging on my door.

All of my friends are long dead.

 

[Stet]

I arrive home to find a sock hanging on my bedroom door with loud sounds of sex emanating from within. I do not have a roommate.

 

[retroman]

The children looked outside and saw their father standing there, smiling and waving.

Behind them, the flames grew higher and higher.

 

[kick51]

They say your brain is still fully active for 5 seconds after decapitation. Never seen my balls from that angle before.

 

[bidguy]

tom was the best at hide and seek. nobody ever found him

 

[Nihilistic Monk]

Searching outside, Detective Jones heard the door close and lock behind him.

Then he heard the screams of his family, just like all the others He'd failed to save.

 

[Oersted]

It wasn't me. Or not?

 

[inm8num2]

There's something growing on my neck.

Maybe it will go away if I stop feeding it.

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

My brothers real quite, you wouldn't even know he's here the only thing to prove it is bones, beetles and hair.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Carefully, very carefully, she parted the tender flesh until the red of the meat was exposed to the air. "Now he'll breathe better," she thought as she fluffed the pillows under her child's head.

Spoiler

Kinda weak. I'm going to keep thinking about this.

 

[Gameboy415]

As he tucked-in his son for the night, John shouted "If there are any monsters hiding in here, you'd better come out!"
The closet door slowly creaked open and a low voice whispered "okay".

 

[Manu]

"I know you had a hard day at work, honey, so just sit down and relax while I make dinner", she told me as soon as I got home. And hey, I was too tired to ask her who she was and how she entered my house.

 

[Stet]

"Here, kid, let me make you a drink." And then I was a drink.

 

[BlackNMild2k1]

I arrive home to find a sock hanging on my bedroom door with loud sounds of sex emanating from within. I do not have a roommate.

[Hope you don't mind if I rewrite]

Since I am the only one here and I live alone, I was perplexed as to why there was a sock hanging from my closed bedroom door and loud sex sounds emanating from within. Especially since I only left my room moments ago to use the bathroom, right across the hall.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Dad says practicing in the pond out back will help me get over my embarrassment of swimming in public. The people at the bottom stare so much, though.

 

[Kinyou]

She was hot. He was not.

 

[Calmine]

Noose for sale, one previous owner.

 

[Stet]

Last night I dreamed I was running from a hideous monster. When I woke up I was still in this wheelchair.

 

[Nameless]

By the time he heard the creature's wings flapping behind him it was too late. The agony of his final moments was only surpassed by the terror at what he saw.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Last night I dreamed I was running from a hideous monster. When I woke up I was still in this wheelchair.

Nice.

 

[Culebra 64]

Oooo, this thread is back! An old fave, nice.

This one is great; it's sad and leaves a lot to the imagination.

Thanks bud, appreciate the compliment!

 

[Alligatorjandro]

The baby had his fathers eyes. She looked into all 12 of them as she put it in the shallow hole.

 

[MichaelFassbender]

I had finally gotten out of prison. But this was BULLSHIT.

 

[Culebra 64]

"Just one more day...please. I beg of you."

 

[Nyanko]

Gasps filled the stale air of her worn-down Chevy as she blinked back tears from her eyes and locked the doors. As the engine first sputtered then roared to life, she sighed in relief and looked into the rearview mirror--only for the metallic sheen of a familiar butcher's knife to meet her gaze.

 

[Vulcano's assistant]

There's something growing on my neck.

Maybe it will go away if I stop feeding it.

Nice one.

 

[SixMachine]

The man placed the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened, so he handed the gun to me and said, "Your turn."

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

The man headed north. His passenger screamed from the trunk.

Nah, that's weak.

 

[Nyanko]

"Either she goes or I go!" he screamed.

I pointed my gun at him and fired.

 

[inm8num2]

There's a shadowy figure outside the window watching me while I sleep.

I'm not letting him back in until he finishes burying the body.

 

[Mariolee]

In the blackness, I realized after death there is no heaven. Unfortunately, there's no death either.

 

[Weapxn]

I finally awoke a few hours later, tied to a chair and unable to move.
Before me stood Precious and her mother, Mary, in full dominatrix gear.

 

[MichaelFassbender]

"Immortality," they said. What they neglected to mention was the word "clinical."

 

[Stet]

The man headed north. His passenger screamed from the trunk.

Nah, that's weak.

The man headed north. His legs, tied to the other horse, went south.

 

[inm8num2]

The man headed north. His legs, tied to the other horse, went south.

You're good at this.

 

[DarkLinkage]

I thought my headphones were plugged in but they weren't.

 

[Pickles Spill]

504 error and GAF is down. I'm still at work.

 

[ItAintEasyBeinCheesy]

504 error and GAF is down. I'm still at work.

And its E3.

THE HORROR, THE HORRORRRRRRRRRRRRR

 

[Gameboy415]

"Where are you taking me!?" Jessica shrieked as the alien's ship blasted off into space.
"Home."

 

[Rimon-hanit]

I only know one thing.

 

[Nimby]

My girlfriend runs a popular sex shop in the Northern District; she has some of the most vivid displays I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing.

After she visited last night, I woke up the next morning and thought to myself, "Something's missing."

 

[BlackNMild2k1]

As I approached my girlfriend house, I was devastated to see her hooking up with my best friend, her ex boyfriend, through the window.
While I stood there staring in disbelief, with a lump in my throat & eyes tearing up, Radioactive started playing in the background.

 

[Deleted member 57681]

Hello darkness, my old friend.
You've come to talk with me again?

 

[Yasumi]

I woke up to the sound of a chorus of voices calling my name, beckoning me to come downstairs. I'm deaf.

 

[Arkos]

You're good at this.

I agree.

Another rainy day today. The water finally made it past his head.

 

[inm8num2]

Dinner is served.

Apparently I am the main course.

 

[Ashes]

True Stories #2 (why we moved)

Dad said we'd get drunks knocking heavily on the door halfway through the night several times a year.

 

[retroman]

A year after his wife had passed away, Henry decided to look through their photo albums.

He regretted the fact he had so few pictures of her, so he went down to the cellar to take some new ones.

 

[Messypandas]

There it was again, the unbearable itch behind his eyes. He laughed, picking up the scalpel; this would be the last time.