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Underage teen faces life as registered sex offender for having sex with underage gf
- Thread starter AuthenticM
- Start date
Audioboxer
Member
Yup, this is how you make kids hang themselves/kill themselves.
The law needs a bit of adult common sense intervention here. In the perfect world kids should not be having sex before the age of consent, but like it or not it happens. This was not an adult having sex with a child. Both are of an age where you can say they're still going through basic education/understanding and puberty. It might be a 2-year gap but the early teens is when we know puberty starts for most kids and when they first start getting a bit of sex education. Throw in the internet/social media here, and it's not like it was many years ago when your big brother/sister or older friends had to leave magazines or VHS tapes lying around.
Education needs to try and prevent things like this happening, and some of that has to come from parents that do not act like fucking 1920's "oh we can't talk about sex around our kids because it's embarrassing!" puritans. When it does happen it needs to be handled correctly and with care, especially when it comes to law/charges/convictions. So I'm not saying you can never have charges when it's two underage sex participants, of course, you can, care just needs to be taken.
I'd agree with this 100%.
Like, I'm more progressive than most in the US when it comes to teen sex laws and all, but man, a teenager having sex with a 12 year old raises my eyebrow. I don't know these kids so I'll refrain from making any judgements about their relative development and backgrounds, but...
I think there are Romeo & Juliet situations where a 14 year old can "consent" to sex, even if they're legally incapable of doing so. A 12 year old? Different story entirely.
We're only getting one side of the story here. The defence is that it was consensual, but that's the what the defense says in a lot of sexual assault cases.
The kid's been charged, but the case is still pending and the DA hasn't commented yet, so no evidence has been given as to if the sexual activity was consensual or not. There's just not a lot to go on here from this news article, other than we know that the DA is going forward suggesting some kind of evidence or cooperation from the girl.
MugiwaraCole
Member
He's literally 14, though. They're a grade apart. For all we know, he just turned 14, and she's just about to turn 13. Your "what if he was 17???" hypothetical doesn't make a lick of sense, because HE IS 14.
This isn't hard.
BossLackey
Gold Member
I remember when law was predicated on common sense. This is fucking absurd.
Fulminator
Member
The sex offender registry and shit needs an overhaul, it's really fucked up
We also need fucking sex education jfc
12 is young af, but this kid doesn't deserve this
We also need fucking sex education jfc
12 is young af, but this kid doesn't deserve this
Within limits, of course - for example, a 17 year old having sex with a 12 year old seems like statutory rape to me.
It seems like the easiest solution is to have no lower limit on the Romeo and Juliet clause, and/or drop the gap to 2 years instead of 3 if either person is under 13. Also, certain classes of sex offense need to be treated differently when it comes to the sex offender registry. Non-violent sexual offenses involving teens should probably be either not placed on the registry at all, or wiped when they turn 18. Lesser offenses by adults (non-serial public nudity, public urination) shouldn't involve a lifetime on the sex offender registry either, and perhaps not even addition to the registry at all for a first offense.
Bounceounce
Member
When I went into 6th grade in my town, our grade was the first grade where 6th grade was bumped down to elementary school, otherwise we would have been in middle school.
They literally just have a grade of difference, how is that some big deal?
SmackDaddy
Member
So... Sex offender status for life?
AuthenticM
Member
ah, yeah, you might be right. I thought he or she was basically saying the guy deserved what was happening to him.
If I misunderstood then yeah, I apologize.
I do not have any patience for ignorant consequentialist bullshit, which is why I snapped. If someone dismisses such a situation in my face, I would have to force myself to leave as I would get the urge to physically assault them.
Acerac
Banned
No, it's very popular. That's why so many people push for abstinence based education when it comes to youth having sex.
Granted, it's proven to be woefully ineffective, but that doesn't make your opinion any less popular.
Fair enough, it can be fun talking down to people when you are ignorant of their situation.
At least you're at peace with the fact that you are being condescending about a subject you know you don't understand.
Straight Edge
Member
Why is this kid in only 7th grade if he is 14? I was a freshman at that age.
veryslowhand
Banned
Don't fuck with a twelve years old.
Audioboxer
Member
Yeah, that's the problem, it is woefully ineffective. It either makes it appear "taboo", as in you can't do it/have it, so the effect is humans naturally get attracted/inquisitive towards the taboo. Kids are even worse than fully developed adults who can fully understand why something might be off-limits. Kids want to explore and discover as part of trying to grow, learn and experience the unknown.
Or you end up guilt tripping young minds at a crucial stage of development and making them think sex is wrong/immoral/disgusting/something to be ashamed to think about. Throw in the insane hormones at early stages of puberty and say hi to many mentally ill teenagers come adults with severe anxiety/dread around sex coupled with the insane societal pressure to lose your virginity/get sex. Honestly, some teenagers let alone young adults are completely and utterly broken around sex/intimacy these days.
The way to educate is full disclosure and honesty, with down to earth explanations of consent, including legal age, and why that matters both as a matter of respect and a legality. Some schools and parents are so fucking terrible at educating it's no surprise kids make mistakes, and then some end up sex offenders for life, or end up taking their own lives. Mix in some of the out of control conservative religious nonsense around sex, and if the school is failing some kids, the parents are like North Korea levels of abusive/controlling/restricting of basic education.
America already has serious problems with sex/sexuality in many ways, so I'm not surprised at all if the education systems in places are downright appalling. That's the same around the world in many locations though, and it boggles my mind why such a basic biological matter for all living organisms get treated so poorly by many "adults".
I don't agree with the sex offender list in general - I think it's a scarlet letter that probably does as much harm as good, since those on the list have their chance at reintegrating essentially wiped out. People with nothing to lose = people likely to commit more crimes.
But I'm not going to condemn either side until the full story is out there. It's easy to say "kids just being kids," but I think a 14 year old is capable of illegal/immoral sex acts and, in those situations, should be punished appropriately.
But that isn't the case at hand, is it? He isn't 17, he is 14. No need for whataboutism.
Also how or why it doesn't change things that they both were underage with relatively small age gap?
Latvian Hitman
Member
I Don't recall advocating for number 1, or even bringing it up.
We've tried this in America quite a bit. It has been a total failure creating a far worse situation.
Raylan Targaryen
Member
1. She probably found out once you know, they said they might put her son on the sex offender list.
2. Even if she knew beforehand, it's not illegal for kids to have sex. Charge her for what? Having a son that was in a relationship?
Acerac
Banned
The problem is that every adult male is a paedophile so it is impossible for them to teach children about sex. I guess you could have women do it but then you have the parents convinced that if children are taught sex education it will force them to fuck immediately.
Emotions are way stronger than facts these days, after all.
If that were true why would people be pushing for it to this day (in this very thread, no less!)?
Audioboxer
Member
What??? I'm sorry but that is one of the craziest things I've ever read. There are plenty of male teachers in education who will handle sex education. Maybe there will be a higher proportion of female sex educators, but there are certain professions in life that simply aren't 50/50 gender split because on average males and females can make different career choices.
Maybe at home if you have a two parent household and have a daughter, the mother might priortise handling female sex education. Maybe vice-versa with the father/son. That is by no means a necessity though, good education is good education whoever delivers it. Not all households have two parents, or even two parents of the same sex.
edit: Sorry, I think you might be being sarcastic with that remark, as in other people/parents will say any man doing sex education for children is a pedo. I apologise if I've not picked up on your sarcasm. I took what you said literally.
Because we love implementing the same bad ideas over and over and over. It's the American way.
Straight Edge
Member
Are you familiar with sarcasm?
No you don't because this has never really been true in developed societies.
Audioboxer
Member
Nah, I've never in my whole life came across it. Re-read above.
Acerac
Banned
Apologies, mixing sarcasm with genuine points because I'm just... tired with some of these subjects. Adult men are not allowed near children (at least in the US, not sure how it is abroad) without great suspicion of pedophilia. While many male teachers exist, stories of continuous suspicion (or worse!) towards them for their choice of profession are all too common. When you have them talking with underaged kids about sex... well... perhaps I'm underestimating my fellow countrymen (ha!) but I have to guess that complaints are all too common. =/
Audioboxer
Member
Yeah, it's cool, I re-read what you said again after rushing to type up my comment. I know where you're coming from, it's yet again more parents moral panic/outrage, because clearly everyone trying to help their kids is secretly preying on them. I know parents are understandably defensive of their kids, but so many times they're doing active damage to their well-being not allowing them to be educated/learn/grow/experience.
I've dropped this documentary on GAF a few times, but it's a great watch - http://www.channel4.com/programmes/sex-in-class You might need a VPN outside of the UK.
There's a parent in the documentary that gets outraged/complains because the teacher asks the girls to take a mirror at home and look at/study their vagina after a classroom experience of learning from diagrams what all the parts are. Because that is such an offensive task to ask the pupils you are educating to try and get familiar/comfortable with their own body organs.
More importantly in the documentary you see how the boys who are behaving pretty terribly to the girls with offensive remarks, sexism and other "learned behaviour" get re-educated correctly. Respect and consent are taught through open and honest education.
D
Deleted member 17706
Unconfirmed Member
No, you do not. You were probably just never made aware of the plethora of ridiculous laws that have existed since the inception of laws as a concept.
Twilight Princess
Member
I dont know, 12 is a bit too young...
Acerac
Banned
I guess that's a nice way to say what I was thinking. It's like how people have economic anxiety because people with skin darker than them are making more money than they are.
America is a society that is greatly based on fear so I guess it makes sense. It's reminds me of everyone being scared of their children getting poisoned candy on Halloween despite the fact that that isn't actually a thing that happens ever.
Perhaps the death penalty would be a more acceptable punishment.
I blame Europe for sending over all their religious crazies/criminals for the first few centuries.
Cosmo Clock 21
Banned
Why does GAF have such a fixation on underage sex?
I feel like you're taking it too personal. Just because you don't have the means or the resources to influence doesn't mean others can't.
Acerac
Banned
You tell me, person with a PaD avatar who entered this thread under their own volition.
When you refer to a group of people and one of them responds, you probably shouldn't be surprised that they thought you were talking about them.
Or did you think that the entirety of the US Congress regularly browses NeoGAF?
Anime.
So this 14yo boy deserves what is coming to him and be branded for life as sex offender before his life has even properly started?
For better or worse youngsters do stupid things and should really be looked at case by case if they deserve to have book thrown at them like this. Makes me understand more what must have went through that other teenager boys head before he killed himself after he was told he will be branded as sex offender.
Obviously I'm not directly talking to you since you think nothing can be done about it. And by the way congress works for the people, that is where change should start.
Acerac
Banned
My bad I thought I was part of America, the group of which you called out.
lol @ the bolded btw.
Monkeyball
Banned
Isnt it romantic to take your teen son to a shooting range in the US?
Guns > Sex!!
Guns > Sex!!
Audioboxer
Member
I mean that's irrational fear summed up, but at least the side effects of stupidity at Halloween are pretty benign. Education suffering is literally how we end up with adults who can't function correctly or behave terribly. Or at least education can be a large part of that. If societies want the best chance possible to produce the highest ratio of non-problematic adults education is fundamental. Trying to "re-educate" adults is far harder than attempting to educate children "properly" the first time around.
Considering many children have a challenging time at home, if not a downright miserable experience, sometimes state education is the one hope they might have. If state education is terrible... Herein lies the perfect mix of potential fuckery for young minds. On readers might ask why is sex education really all that important? Well, it is. The world runs on sex. Humans are biological beings. The pursuit of so much in life is companionship, family and/or sex. Before anyone says but priests and nuns and celibacy! Well, it is up to you if you want that, but I can assure you forced or pressured celibacy often leads to mental health breakdown and I need not point out all the scandals around priests.
Just look at how bad the gaming industry can be with awful male to female behaviour. I know sex education isn't the one stop fix for all respect/sexism issues, but it's at least a very good grounding for young minds just turning teenagers to try and be taught openly and in detail about human interactions with others around sex/sexuality/consent/respect/legalities. Especially in 2017 where if education and parenting fails the youth they learn how to behave from reality TV stars and other shite on YouTube, social media, porn or wherever. That's not me blaming entertainment/comedy/adult media, as neither of those have the responsibility to educate youth. I'm saying poor education leads to the consequence of some youth being unprepared to exist in the world without picking up and imitating bad habits/behaviour.
I don't think it's far gone to say a large majority of the angry trolls, shitposters and abusive avatars on the internet these days most likely have had poor sex education and as a consequence either have zero interaction with the opposite sex, or very little. Aggression and anti-social behaviour is often linked to poor sex life/partner prospects. Part of that can be confidence concerned, and what is the number one issue supplying issues with confidence? Poor education when young leading to adults that can't seem to function properly or know how to handle sex. I know appearance can play a massive role in confidence issues, but honestly, as long as you are hygienic, a good personality and confidence around sex, will get you a partner/sex life.
How all of this rant relates to this topic? Well it is all linked in a sense. Education can help prevent many unwanted underage kids having sex when they are not really ready for it. Then as above it also goes a way to helping prevent future problematic behaviour in later teenage or adult years. My line of study is psychology so sex education, let alone education in general, really is how many of societies problems are tackled/prevented. Not to mention just as doctors have a requirement of patient care/safety, teachers really have an obligation to educate. So if parents, school heads or even stubborn teachers themselves get in the way of proper education, the kids are being failed in that obligation to educate (and I know many stressed out teachers will say some kids are literally the devil, but that's another topic on the stresses of actually trying to teach kids).
Polioliolio
Member
I don't know how to articulate this without sounding wrong, but come the fuck on. Kids probably have sex with each other all the time.
It's called puberty, and it makes humans want to experience sex. The laws are borked.
It's called puberty, and it makes humans want to experience sex. The laws are borked.
Yeah, this is not okay. What the fuck, America?
Yeah, shit's fucked. Here in The Netherlands teachers are generally not frowed upon (yet), but don't ever try to work at a daycare as an adult male, I don't even think they even invite males for an interview anymore at those places.
SomeRandomWeirdGuy
Member
I'm substitute teaching for middle school and high school right now, and so even if 12 year old girl and 14 year old boy might seem a bit skeezy at first glance , there's a million different scenarios where it's perfectly normal. Girls develop much earlier than boys, first of alo. Sometimes I have high school freshmen boys that look like they belong in sixth grade, and sometimes there's middle school girls that look like they're high schoolers.
Of course vice versa is occasionally true too, but I'd wager the developmental gap between the two kids in this case isn't as much, or in the same way, as people think. The boys are routinely far more immature than the girls all the way through like sophomore year of high school, and it's noticeable my mid late elementary even.
Sucks for the 14 year old boy, hopefully there's an uproar and he avoids it.
Of course vice versa is occasionally true too, but I'd wager the developmental gap between the two kids in this case isn't as much, or in the same way, as people think. The boys are routinely far more immature than the girls all the way through like sophomore year of high school, and it's noticeable my mid late elementary even.
Sucks for the 14 year old boy, hopefully there's an uproar and he avoids it.
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