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Valve's fake, rigged, waste of time Progress Quest troll Portal 2 ARG

TimmiT

Member
EatChildren said:
Here's something that I haven't understood about this ARG all this time, specifically the GlaDOS@home.

You've got all these tags like "Projected Launch" and "Glados Textual Output", but what of "Active Test Subjects"?

It's always been a big fat "ZERO" text. Never changed. Never moved.

Thing is, if you look at the background image, the "ZERO" isn't part of it. All the tags are, as is the general page layout. But not the "ZERO".

This to me implies it should move, or change, or do something. It has the tag "Active Test Subjects" after all. Why did it never move or change? Did it have a purpose?
Maybe it's supposed to show how many people are playing Portal 2 when it's released.

EDIT: Beaten.
 

dave is ok

aztek is ok
This whole ARG was an elaborate ruse to prove that thousands of codebreakers, ten separate game studios, and twenty thousand Steam users all collaborating together are not strong enough to break VALVE TIME.
 

iSimon

Member
webrunner said:
It's the digit not the word. There are images for 1-9.

1.png


It also has k.png
k.png
 

JaseC

gave away the keys to the kingdom.
TimmiT said:
Maybe it's supposed to show how many people are playing Portal 2 when it's released.

That wouldn't fit without dramatically decreasing the text size, which would go against the Portal aesthetic.

I agree that it's simply a reference to Chell without directly saying as much. It'll probably change to 'one' or whatever when Portal 2 unlocks.

Edit: Or perhaps you're right and that's what the 'k' is for!
 
darkressurection said:
I think I have seen a couple of non media people on Steam playing Portal 2, I am assuming it has to be a PS3 version that they got early.
I have a friend with a legit Portal 2 for PS3. When signed in to Steamworks he shows up as playing "Portal 2 on PS3". In the Portal 2 library page he's shown as a recent player though, without any PS3 suffix.
 

Twig

Banned
dave is ok said:
This whole ARG was an elaborate ruse to prove that thousands of codebreakers, ten separate game studios, and twenty thousand Steam users all collaborating together are not strong enough to break VALVE TIME.
This is the correct post and is also the only good "Valve Time" joke in this whole thread. Excellent!
 
The Wiki said:
There has been some speculation and evidence to suggest that there needs to be a low number of CPUs running in total to trigger the auxiliary power kicking in. It is suggested that we all close the games for an hour to see if this is the case.

Worth a shot, at this stage.
 

Jintor

Member
It's kind of weird that if it (the grind period) had been longer it probably would've been more successful, or if it had been shorter they would have moved the goalposts and it would probably have been more successful, but as it was they found the perfect place where it would piss everybody off.
 
The last 12 hours have been the worst, with only 7.69% increase.

April 16:
12am - 12pm: 14.57%
12pm - 12am: 16.1%
April 17:
12am - 12pm: 13.56%
12pm - 12am: 14.98%
April 18th:
12am - 12pm: 7.69%

Sucks... we won't make it. What a waste.

Mister_Bubbles said:
Worth a shot, at this stage.

Have they picked the hour? I would love to give my computer some rest lol.
 

Cheech

Member
Considering Valve usually does "things" to the store at 1p EST, perhaps that is when "stuff" will happen.

Audiosurf hasn't done shit lately, so I am thinking Auxiliary time is almost here.
 

Original-Blue

Neo Member
Well, in australia the release date says 20th April.
That's sad. Means that there is a possibility I won't be able to play it when I get home from work tomorrow night... Although the glados timer is at 19 hours so that SHOULD be 7 and with audiosurf and the ball adding to that then it should MAYBE unlock at 5 or 5:30 (super meat boy means that it might be even earlier). I tell you what, ill be leaving work at 5 on the dot tomorrow *crack* straight out the door.

Hype rising... Lucky I'm busy as hell at work tomorrow so the day should fly.

I'm heading to bed the sooner I sleep, the sooner I get closer to 8 hours until launch. If it doesn't launch in Australia at the end of the glados countdown I'm going to be mega pissed.

Just out of query, can you cancel a steam pre order and have your money re-funded?
 

marrec

Banned
Mister_Bubbles said:
You're assuming it's ending. This may well just be a disappointing phase in a tale that is yet to be completed.

I would love it if the game were to continue on past Portal 2s release. The Zero Active Test Participants thing makes me think there may be another half of this ARG that we have yet to encounter because nobodies sluething through Portal 2 yet.

At this point, however, I expect to be disappointed.
 

Baha

Member
Original-Blue said:
Well, in australia the release date says 20th April.
That's sad. Means that there is a possibility I won't be able to play it when I get home from work tomorrow night... Although the glados timer is at 19 hours so that SHOULD be 7 and with audiosurf and the ball adding to that then it should MAYBE unlock at 5 or 5:30 (super meat boy means that it might be even earlier). I tell you what, ill be leaving work at 5 on the dot tomorrow *crack* straight out the door.

Hype rising... Lucky I'm busy as hell at work tomorrow so the day should fly.

I'm heading to bed the sooner I sleep, the sooner I get closer to 8 hours until launch. If it doesn't launch in Australia at the end of the glados countdown I'm going to be mega pissed.

Just out of query, can you cancel a steam pre order and have your money re-funded?

Yes, send a steam support ticket and they should help you out.
 
DoctorWho said:
Well, I'm at work so I'm contributing to doing nothing.

Your dedication is an inspiration to us all, Doc.


Edit:
shagg_187 said:
Have they picked the hour? I would love to give my computer some rest lol.

It's been removed from the Wiki, at least for the time being, so I'm not sure. But hey, give your comp a rest now, what the hell. I'm sure it's earned it ;)
 

Hylian7

Member
Sent said:
lol I think it would be awesome if we didn't make it before the official launch
We already know we technically well, just at 3am central time. Luckily I don't have a class til 1 that day, so I'm probably staying up for it.
 

Cheech

Member
Sent said:
lol I think it would be awesome if we didn't make it before the official launch

I have two expectations:

1. I will be playing Portal 2 tonight.
2. I will still be able to collect my potatoes for the foreseeable future.
 

dave is ok

aztek is ok
snoopeasystreet said:
Dudes, we're less than 19 hours away from playing Portal 2. Forget about these silly little bars. Life is good.
Except for those of us whose computers will crash upon starting the game from being overtaxed all weekend by running The Wonderful End of the World nonstop
 
Cheech said:
I have two expectations:

1. I will be playing Portal 2 tonight.
2. I will still be able to collect my potatoes for the foreseeable future.

Potato hoarding is going to be my favorite new meme.
 
At the rate we are going, if there isn't any auxiliary power, by the time Portal 2 launches we will be at 94%...

Technically, the only ones we are helping are the countries where Portal 2 doesn't launch at April 19th, Uncle Sam Standard Time.
 

Jintor

Member
I'm flipping wildly between fatalism and a burning desire to play Portal 2 NOW

If it doesn't unlock in Australia at the same time as in the States I'm going to cry
 

webrunner

Member
Why are people sure that the game doesnt launch until the earlier of 100% or official launch?


Why couldn't it launch, I don't know, when the timer runs out which at this point is several hours ahead of official launch? Finishing games has reduced the timer previously, after all.
 
shagg_187 said:
At the rate we are going, if there isn't any auxiliary power, by the time Portal 2 launches we will be at 94%...

Technically, the only ones we are helping are the countries where Portal 2 doesn't launch at April 19th, Uncle Sam Standard Time.
The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible. Make no attempt to solve it.
 
webrunner said:
Why are people sure that the game doesnt launch until the earlier of 100% or official launch?


Why couldn't it launch, I don't know, when the timer runs out which at this point is several hours ahead of official launch? Finishing games has reduced the timer previously, after all.

I think if we had been able to fill the bar all the way, the game would have launched right then and there. Otherwise, we're stuck with what the timer says.

We aren't going to fill the bar at this rate.
 

Superimposer

This is getting weirder all the time
shagg_187 said:
At the rate we are going, if there isn't any auxiliary power, by the time Portal 2 launches we will be at 94%...

Technically, the only ones we are helping are the countries where Portal 2 doesn't launch at April 19th, Uncle Sam Standard Time.

Are you saying it doesn't unlock in the rest of the world when the timer runs out?
 
I decided alright, I'm just gonna go try to get some exercise, wear myself out and sleep until the real release, fuck this shit I'm closing the ball, when the call came out to close the ball to see if we could enable the auxiliary power. Well.

It's not a horrible theory that that may be the case, and at any rate many ARG players said at many different stages DON'T help GlaDOS. It could be that by playing the bars game, we were actually doing the wrong thing.
 
Superimposer said:
Are you saying it doesn't unlock in the rest of the world when the timer runs out?

No, I am saying is that it BETTER unlock when the timer runs out, but if there was no timer then the rest of the world would have to wait for the game to release according to their own timezone.
 

Superimposer

This is getting weirder all the time
shagg_187 said:
No, I am saying is that it BETTER unlock when the timer runs out, but if there was no timer then the rest of the world would have to wait for the game to release according to their own timezone.

I see, I was mighty worried for a second. Yes it better unlock for me then or I am going to lose my shit
 
Does anyone have a handy chart to explain why the bars have barely moved in the last... forever? Has the overall number of CPUs dropped off or am I just imagining it going slower?

EDIT - Guess I'm just imagining things. Maybe I could have done something better with my weekend than stare at red bars.
 
theinfinityissue said:
many ARG players said at many different stages DON'T help GlaDOS. It could be that by playing the bars game, we were actually doing the wrong thing.

Indeed. Even the goddamn G-Man said

You seem to think I somehow ordained you to search for tuberous trophies within the entertainment package of vegetables to the exclusion of all else.

I did not. Far from it.

I beg of you to stop jumping to conclusions and start THINKING. I am seriously doubtful that you have any grey matter left. Prove me wrong. Still your human emotions for just one minute and THINK.

Besides, my own investigations lead me to believe that such items are merely distractions to lead you away from the truth. Why do you so madly cling to 'clues' that are spoon fed to you from sources actively controlled by SHE which we both fear? Do you think SHE would simply hand you 'clues' which would guide you to the truth? No. SHE is much more beguiling that that. You must look elsewhere.
 
Either Valve expected a lot more response to this ARG or its a slightly dirty tactic if they knew that the game still wouldn't release before midnight tonight even with people buying and playing these indie games.
 

Campster

Do you like my tight white sweater? STOP STARING
matrix-cat said:
Does anyone have a handy chart to explain why the bars have barely moved in the last... forever? Has the overall number of CPUs dropped off or am I just imagining it going slower?

If the progress is actually tied to CPUs - and there's a lot of debate about that and it looks like the impact is nigh imperceptible - then the general reason is because it's Monday morning and people are going to work/school and not dedicating their time to idling/playing games.
 

Nab

Member
If filling the bars was the wrong thing, then this just went from a dramatic fail, to a funny (if slightly mean) successful troll and one of the best things ever.
 
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