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Valve's fake, rigged, waste of time Progress Quest troll Portal 2 ARG

O

Original-Blue

Neo Member
Oh my god.

Seriously.

I think thats it. We've been having a negative impact on time.

I'm serious, we need to spread the word for everyone to stop playing. Whats the worst that can happen now? Its worth trying it!
 
E

EatChildren

Currently polling second in Australia's federal election (first in the Gold Coast), this feral may one day be your Bogan King.
HOLY SHIT PORTAL 2 IS UNLOCKING RIGHT NOW OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD









THATS YOU THATS HOW DUMB YOU SOUND
 
The Elite

The Elite

BOSS
Original-Blue said:
Oh my god.

Seriously.

I think thats it. We've been having a negative impact on time.

I'm serious, we need to spread the word for everyone to stop playing. Whats the worst that can happen now? Its worth trying it!
Click to expand...

And Gamers around the world put down their controllers, opened their doors and went outside. The blinding sunlight tore through their retinas and stung them at their very core. Yet, there was a curious sensation that these gamers never experienced before. The warm embrace of a distant star enveloped them and they lived happily ever after.

Thanks Gabe.

The End.
 
D

Dilly

Banned
DoctorWho said:
And Gamers around the world put down their controllers, opened their doors and went outside. The blinding sunlight tore through their retinas and stung them at their very core. Yet, there was a curious sensation that these gamers never experienced before. The warm embrace of a distant star enveloped them and they lived happily ever after.

Thanks Gabe.

The End.
Click to expand...

Portal 2 is like a portal for gamers to the real world.

Wow!
 
O

Original-Blue

Neo Member
Look at the graphs... The whole time, when there was less users it filled faster!!!

Omfg it took us this long to work it out.

That has to be it, its exactly what they would do too, and makes sense why they haven't said anything / sped it up.

They must think we're all stupid dumbarses!

Quick someone ddos the steam servers and kick everyone off (jokes)
 
M

marrec

Banned
I want someone to track the hopeless optimism in this thread and graph it out. I imagine it would look like the Active Players graph on Steam.
 
E

EatChildren

Currently polling second in Australia's federal election (first in the Gold Coast), this feral may one day be your Bogan King.
You guys have lost it.

Lost it.
 
S

Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew

Banned
Let's take an example of Defense Grid:

8am - 9pm i.e. 13 hours: we saw a spike from 1839 CPUs to 3029 CPUs i.e. approx 1190 CPU increase.
During this increase, the percentage increased from 26.04% to 36.78% i.e. 10.72% increase

Compare that to the next 13 hours i.e. 9pm - 10am: we saw a decline from 1839 CPUs to 1535 CPUs i.e. approx 1500 CPU decrease.
During this decrease, the percentage increased from 36.78% to 49.45% i.e. 12.69% increase

Shit just got real?

EatChildren said:
You guys have lost it.

Lost it.
Click to expand...

SHUT IT! JUST SHUT IT OR SHIT IT!
 
O

Original-Blue

Neo Member
Remember back at the start when the wonderful end of the world was filling fastest and had the least people?

That was the initial clue... Ffs!!!

I am convinced that if everyone and I mean ALL people playing those games stop, that p2 will b released.
 
T

theinfinityissue

Member
DoctorWho said:
And Gamers around the world put down their controllers, opened their doors and went outside. The blinding sunlight tore through their retinas and stung them at their very core. Yet, there was a curious sensation that these gamers never experienced before. The warm embrace of a distant star enveloped them and they lived happily ever after.

Thanks Gabe.

The End.
Click to expand...

I did that, the graphics outside were sub par (light bloom everywhere), it smelled really weird which is something I've literally never had to deal with in a game before and a car honked at me because I'm not wearing "pants" 1/10

I think there's some sort of war going on between wiki editors at the moment lol
 
T

TheExodu5

Banned
theinfinityissue said:
It's not a horrible theory that that may be the case, and at any rate many ARG players said at many different stages DON'T help GlaDOS. It could be that by playing the bars game, we were actually doing the wrong thing.
Click to expand...

Except then Valve's whole "PLAY POTATO SACK GAMES TO RELEASE PORTAL 2 EARLY" would have been even more deceptive than it has been.
 
T

The Technomancer

card-carrying scientician
Okay, back when we thought we had to fill the bars and it was stupidly hard, it was Valve trolling us and we raged. But now it turns out that Valve was meta-trolling us, and it is awesome.
 
The Elite

The Elite

BOSS
shagg_187 said:
Let's take an example of Defense Grid:

8am - 9pm i.e. 13 hours: we saw a spike from 1839 CPUs to 3029 CPUs i.e. approx 1190 CPU increase.
During this increase, the percentage increased from 26.04% to 36.78% i.e. 10.72% increase

Compare that to the next 13 hours i.e. 9pm - 10am: we saw a decline from 1839 CPUs to 1535 CPUs i.e. approx 1500 CPU decrease.
During this decrease, the percentage increased from 36.78% to 49.45% i.e. 12.69% increase

Shit just got real?



SHUT IT! JUST SHUT IT OR SHIT IT!
Click to expand...

My honest opinion is that the Valve employees have altered the parameters and are allowing the bars to fill up faster either way at this point.
 
N

Nab

Member
TheExodu5 said:
Except then Valve's whole "PLAY POTATO SACK GAMES TO RELEASE PORTAL 2 EARLY" would have been even more deceptive than it has been.
Click to expand...

Steam got hacked by GlaDoS to say that.
 
T

Twig

Banned
TheExodu5 said:
Except then Valve's whole "PLAY POTATO SACK GAMES TO RELEASE PORTAL 2 EARLY" would have been even more deceptive than it has been.
Click to expand...
Yeah, but you know you want it to be true. Because it would be hilarious.
 
S

Shao Kahn Brewing a Stew

Banned
StuKen said:
So its a marketing campaign that ultimately wants you to not buy and play things? Come on, get real children.
Click to expand...
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing

Is it raining, is it snowing
Is a hurricane a-blowing

Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of Hell a-glowing
Is the grisly reaper mowing

Yes, the danger must be growing
For the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing
 
J

JaseC

gave away the keys to the kingdom.
StuKen said:
So its a marketing campaign that ultimately wants you to not buy and play things? Come on, get real children.
Click to expand...

But I like the plastic one I have now!
 
J

Jintor

Member
DoctorWho said:
And Gamers around the world put down their controllers, opened their doors and went outside. The blinding sunlight tore through their retinas and stung them at their very core. Yet, there was a curious sensation that these gamers never experienced before. The warm embrace of a distant star enveloped them and they lived happily ever after.

Thanks Gabe.

The End.
Click to expand...

Maybe it's because I was listening to Monty Python at the same time, but I cracked up laughing. Jesus, Doc.
 
T

TheExodu5

Banned
For the record, we said this would happen yesterday. That the final "OVERCLOCKED!" phase would just kick things into gear to get this released by midnight regardless of what happened.

That you guys think they're filling faster because users are stopping to play the game is...cute...
 
T

theinfinityissue

Member
Since glados@home has come up, a call has not gone out to stop playing the games at all. It's well established that Valve is watching at least the irc, possibly the steam chat as well. If they start to see a call go out for people to do the right answer, they may step in and fill the bars.

OR even better, bring up a big ERROR splash page and glados is defeated, and chell wakes up and we get to play portal 2. That would be nuts.
 
C

Campster

Do you like my tight white sweater? STOP STARING
Not to destroy a newfound sense of hope, but this doesn't make a lot of sense.

First of all, it's dependent on the ARG being influential enough to make everyone realize that the site had been compromised by Glados and that anything Valve/Steam tells us to do is backwards. But the number of people following the ARG is way, way smaller than the number of people who saw "PLAY GAMES = UNLOCK PORTAL 2" on the front page of their Steam client.

Second, it's completely counter-intuitive. Helping reboot Glados makes sense - we kickstart her systems to reboot her and get the story of Portal 2 moving. How does not helping Glados help get Portal 2 out early? I get that it might be the "right" move in the context of the ARG, but it's completely counterintuitive to those interested in getting the game early.

Third, doesn't this mean that any poor souls who bought the pack just to help with Portal 2 wasted their money? Not that it's necessarily a bad thing; I adore the games in the potato pack. But I have no doubt that there are people who dropped $40 hoping to move the date closer and it turns out that what they really needed to do was simply not do anything.
 
U

ultron87

Member
StuKen said:
So its a marketing campaign that ultimately wants you to not buy and play things? Come on, get real children.
Click to expand...

It's double reverse psychology. They want us to think that they wanted us to think that we aren't supposed to play the games. Therefore, in a few hours we'll wrap back around to "turn the games back on!"
 
C

Corky

Nine out of ten orphans can't tell the difference.
snoopeasystreet said:
It's more likely the bars are being powered by stupidity..
Click to expand...

Negative, if that's the case then the game would've come out friday.
 
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