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[Father_Brain]

Words fail me. Just look at what ChrstnWrtr has written:

62. Link meets the Tribulation Force! reviews
Link meets the Tribulation Force from the Left Behind series. Contains Christian content.
Zelda - G - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 852 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-25-01 - Published: 5-25-01

81. Link meets Hamlet! reviews
Link meets Hamlet, one of the main characters from one of Shakespeare's tragedies. Rated PG-13 for the general theme of the play of Hamlet.
Zelda - PG-13 - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 913 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-14-00 - Published: 12-14-00

82. Link meets the Great Gatsby reviews
Link meets Jay Gatsby from F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel, The Great Gatsby.
Zelda - PG - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 990 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 12-14-00 - Published: 12-14-00

83. Link goes to Disneyland! reviews
Link is transported to Disneyland!
Zelda - G - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1345 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 12-13-00 - Published: 12-13-00

84. Link is examined by Sigmund Freud! reviews
Title says all. Enjoy this stupid fanfic.
Zelda - G - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1075 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 12-12-00 - Published: 12-12-00

85. Link meets Rocky and Bullwinkle! reviews
The moose and squirrel help Link defeat Ganondorf and Boris, Natasha, and Fearless Leader!
Zelda - G - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1433 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 12-6-00 - Published: 12-6-00

86. It's Hyrule, Charlie Brown! reviews
Charlie Brown and the gang are transported to Hyrule! Contains some Christian content at the end.
Zelda - G - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1198 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 11-30-00 - Published: 11-30-00

92. Link meets the Von Trapp family singers! reviews
The Von Trapp family singers gives a concert at Hyrule!
Zelda - G - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 855 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 11-16-00 - Published: 11-16-00

93. Napoleon invades Hyrule! reviews
Napoleon Bonaparte is accidentally transported to Hyrule where he seizes it and war breaks out. Rated PG-13 for war violence.
Zelda - PG-13 - English - Action/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1468 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11-15-00 - Published: 11-15-00

94. Link meets the Three Stooges reviews
The Three Stooges are accidentally transported to Hyrule.
Zelda - G - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 988 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 11-8-00 - Published: 11-8-00

95. Link dreams he's hosting Saturday Night Live! reviews
Title says all folks....enjoy.
Zelda - G - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 11-6-00 - Published: 11-6-00

On a related note, I found this on the Godawful Fan Fiction Forums. Awesome site.

 

[shoplifter]

Link meets the Von Trapp family singers! reviews

what

 

[SD-Ness]

Holy. God.

 

[Prince of Space]

96. Link meets fanfic author, anally violates him.
Thank me!
- God

 

[AniHawk]

"Link dreams he's hosting Saturday Night Live! "

Does he die in his sleep?

 

[Willco]

Link vs Freddy vs Jason.

It must be written. Spread the word.

 

[FoneBone]

Another good site:
http://reallybadfanfiction.com/

A horrifying sample:
http://reallybadfanfiction.com/Fanfics/Masterstouch.txt
(Warning: contains Link/Epona bestiality. Not safe for your sanity.)

http://reallybadfanfiction.com/Fanfics/Burly.txt
Gay erotic fanfic about the Burly paper towel man. I am not making this up.

Nothing turns this writer on like a giant Hillary Clinton:
http://reallybadfanfiction.com/Fanfics2/Executive.txt

With the tip of her tongue, Hillary began massaging the man's groin,
spreading wet warmth from his navel to his thighs. Despite his fear
and his best efforts to resist, he began to react to the physical
stimulation in the usual way. Hot humiliation burned on his cheeks as
he imagined the passengers watching all of this. Hillary's face was
all he could see, and he was all too aware of the vastness of her hot
mouth into which his bus had passed only minutes earlier, carrying
with it a screaming and unwilling cargo of living people.

"I think that's enough," said Hillary, ceasing her oral explorations.
"Time to put that thing to some use, little man."

The driver's eyes opened wide in sudden fear. "Aw, please, don't.
Please! I voted for you!"

"Well then, think of this as my thanks," said Hillary, as she stuffed
him head-first into her gaping cunt, which gobbled him up like a
starving monster. "Besides, it could be worse, don't you think? I
could have been Tipper."

 

[shoplifter]

Besides, it could be worse, don't you think? I
could have been Tipper

 

[GuntherBait]

what

yeah... 2nd that one.

 

[shoplifter]

I've gotta admit though...

alt.sexy.bald.captains is where the action used to be back in the day.

 

[belgurdo]

What is it with fanfic writers and sex? Are they trying to compensate for some kind of hidden need or are confused about their own sexuality or something?

 

[Hamfam]

What a delightful imaginative mind he must have....wouldn't want to live in it though.

 

[sprsk]

62. Link meets the Tribulation Force! reviews
Link meets the Tribulation Force from the Left Behind series. Contains Christian content.
Zelda - G - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 852 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 5-25-01 - Published: 5-25-01

oh dear.

 

[Matlock]

Anne Frank / Dragonball Z crossover.

Enter at ye own peril.

http://www.godawful.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=323

 

[FoneBone]

oh dear.

That story (along with several others that are listed) has Link being "saved." That girl needs to be euthanized.

More horrifying crap:
Finding Nemo slash!
Simpsons incestuous pedophilia!
Lion King slash!

 

[Duck of Death]

http://reallybadfanfiction.com/Fanfics/Masterstouch.txt

Dear god no!! Why lord, why!?!?

Spoiler

I toss back my creamy
mane and watch him with eyes like almonds; on tiptoe, completely naked (save for brass
hoops woven into his ear lobes), his pelvis thrusting and receding far enough to thrust
again. His member is unseen, but his sculpted belly has taken a wet sheen of its own, and
my tail swishes back and forth against his chin, enticing him further so. There are more
words, but I cannot make them out. I relish my time with him, cherishing the minutes
alongside the slaps at my flank. Eventually, his grip grows tighter yet. His muscles coil
about my rump, and he buries his face in by back. I can hear his words and moans hit fever pitch, growling violently, as though his jaws are set to sink into me.

AHHHHHH!!!!! The person that wrote this is one sick, twisted shit.

 

[LakeEarth]

I once thought about writing a fanfic, but then I came to my fucking senses and played a game instead.

 

[SD-Ness]

A horrifying sample:
http://reallybadfanfiction.com/Fanfics/Masterstouch.txt
(Warning: contains Link/Epona bestiality. Not safe for your sanity.)

That was distsurbing.

How does one even concieve of these plots...humans are disgusting.

 

[FoneBone]

"The war will begin in Ponyland," Corenth said to himself, "and will end on Curasant [sic]."

Yes, it's a Star Wars/My Little Pony crossover. And apparently, this is not intended as a joke.

 

[Belfast]

I like how they say "has Christian content" like its pornographic.

I think the worst fanfic I've ever seen is still the old Transformers gay sex fanfic complete with mechanical sexual innuendo. Wait, no, it wasn't innuendo.

 

[FoneBone]

Fan Fiction 101 (tm): Mary Sues & Marty Stus
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mary-Sue

A Marty Stu is the (far less common) male equivalent. So, what happens when a writer tries to turn an existing character into a Mary Sue?

The horror...
(The full story was taken down, which is probably for the best.)

 

[FoneBone]

AAGH
(Talespin erotica.)

And LOTR characters inexplicably in high school.

 

[Brannon]

What What in in the the hell? hell?

Teh hella?

Eh?

!




......he likes Link I gather?

 

[acklame]

:lol wtf

 

[Kai Dracon]

What is it with fanfic writers and sex? Are they trying to compensate for some kind of hidden need or are confused about their own sexuality or something?

There's a hella lot of erotic fiction on the net of the "normal" variety. In perspective, the erotic fanfic is probably only a small percentage of it; most fanfic (while still usually middling to bad) doesn't seem to be of the erotic variety, though it may sometimes have adult overtones that don't include graphic sex but still confuse or offend those who can't understand why those overtones are inserted. (Clue: fan reinterpretation of the characters and scenarios, especially with writing "childrens" material as a grown-up story.)

Another thing to keep in mind, which some people don't quite seem to realize, is that the really really crazy stuff - Star Wars / My Little Pony - is often written because it's entirely fux0red just to see if it can be done. And to get people to go OMGWTF at it. At the end of the day, at least some authors of "sick and twisted" (whether having sex or not) fanfics may be getting the last laugh, having succeeded in stirring people up as a kind of challenge.

Something to ponder though. In Europe a lot of sex topics might go relatively unnoticed. In the US though, things such as fanfic on the net with ANY sexual content - even the rare tasteful one - gets slapped with the $*()@*$ people-are-sick-monsters reaction, while at the same time the median US net user doesn't raise an eyebrow at horrifying violence and graphic imagery including the very popular Rotten archive. The violent / gory side of things though, from what I understand, would be far more objectionable to Euro sensibilities.

 

[FoneBone]

Time to bump this thread with more crap:

James Bond's daughter

Transvestite Yoda, which contains such brilliant sentences as these:

Yoda laughed to himself and clicked his rhinestone pumps together as he sang.

They stormed into the studio and saw Sidious being slowly choked to death by Yoda’s Force-projected, disattached feather boa.

Pregnant Frodo (yes, you read that right)

Pregnant Legolas

Almost as astonishing are the reactions some of these stories get, like the Legolas one:

http://www.fanfiction.net/reviews.php?storyid=1871920

it's really good. PLEASE write another chapter

i just read ur fainfic (well obviously) anyways y haven't u update? i no u are working on another fanfic but this one is well written and and exciting story. plzz update soon i am sure that I along with others would really appreciate it. anyways good job!

 

[bob_arctor]

Bwahahahahahahahaahaaa!! That Yoda shit cracked me up!

 

[FnordChan]

ROM and Me

Warning: Contains saucy ROM the Space Knight fanfic.

FnordChan

 

[heavy liquid]

OH SHIT... HAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHAHA!

 

[Wolfy]

Link meets Jackie Chan and together they gang bang Ben Affleck.

 

[bob_arctor]

LOL. This guy's a nut.

 

[Ryck]

Whoa........and without the internet the true genius of these nerds would have no outlet.....

 

[Azih]

Words should be outlawed.

 

[FoneBone]

"Aslan how would she love you if you are a Lion?" she asked.

"Like this," he responded. There was an imense amount of light in the room and Lucy had to turn away from him. She could not bear the amount of light. When it dimmened she turned back to where Alsan had been sitting. What she saw in his place was a gorgeous man. He seemed to be in his twenties. She looked around and wondered what had happend to Aslan. Than she turned her attention to the man. He was so handsome that she blushed from looking at him. He had perfect blonde hair that was tied back in half a ponytail. It was very long and straight, it reached the small of his back. He stood straight and tall, at about six feet four. He had broad strong shoulders, yet a lean body. His face and bone structure was absolutely perfect in every way. His slender blonde brows where beautifully shaped into a wonderful arch over his wondeful eyes. His eyes, however where the thing that attracted her the most. They shined at her so beautifully. They where entrancing. A golden brown color that reminded her of wonderful mornings in which the sun rose nice and golden. Like those days when you go out and you could feel the warmth of the sun carrsess your face and wrap itself around you like a wonderfully warm sweater.

AAAAAARGH



Probably the worst fanfics I've seen are the ones written in second person, and this one... well, holy shit.

As you enter the realm of your hell, waves of hot and cold come over you, steam seeming to kiss your skin. You continue walking down the dim hallway, fondling for the secure feeling of walls around you. You come to a dark room, lit only by four candles, one in each corner, and a crack in the ceiling, letting a beam of moonlight pour in. You walk into the centre of the room slowly. When you stop moving, you hear breathing close behind you and start to feel the breath against the flesh of your neck. It sends chills up and down your spine. You're almost too terrified to move, but you try to turn around, your breaths getting shorter as you struggle to make yourself move. You finally turn all the way around, and come face to face with Pinhead. You gasp and stare into his black eyes, searching for some sign of life or emotion. He is so still, you can hear his breathing become deeper against your shallow breaths. Entranced as you are by his stillness and intense gaze, you step backwards, feeling your knee tremble slightly beneath you.

I'd post more, but seeing as you can probably guess where this is going, I think you should be spared the suffering.

 

[FoneBone]

http://www.godawful.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=2551

The Black Widow steadied herself and looked into the camera. She licked her lips slowly and seductively and stared into the camera with a look of pure, hot, smoldering lust. “I’m the Black Widow and I’m the nastiest whore in the nation. I deserved everything I got. I want to be the white whore of every black man in the country. I want to be gang-raped by every big black stud around. I want them to knock me up so that my belly is huge and swollen with their black baby. I want them to yank my hair like the reins of a horse as they ride my firm sexy white ass and make me scream over and over. I want them to spit in my face and piss in my mouth. I want the world to see me, the Black Widow, as I truly am. I’m nothing but a dog’s fuck-slut. A bull made me his bitch and pumped my pussy and belly full of bull-cum. I want to be raped by huge savage animals. I want to be fist-fucked. I want to be dominated…humiliated, and I’m getting off on the way the whole country is watching. Does that shock you? Does that outrage you? Are you a parent secretly watching this while your child is in the other room? Or are you a child secretly watching this without your parents knowing? I want you to masturbate for me. Slide your hand down the waistband of your underwear and start getting yourself off. If this story is being transmitted on the internet I want every person reading to masturbate at their computers. You want to see a superhero bitch get thoroughly screwed? Well you are in luck, because that’s exactly what’s happening. I want to be degraded and raped while everyone watches and masturbates.”

http://www.godawful.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=2599

The TV was showing a black and white picture of a meadow, with an old stone well in it. The
picture flickered, and a white hand came out of the well, grasping the edge. Then another. Then something pulled itself up from the well and stood up.

It looked like a girl, wearing a wet, white gown or dress, the hems all tattered and hanging down to her shins. But I couldn't see her face, because there was all this long, black, wet hair hanging in front of her face.

[snip]

She lifted a hand, pointing at me, and I noticed she was missing fingernails; they looked like they had been torn away. "Lassst requessst?" she hissed, in that husky, gurgly-choked voice I'd heard on the phone.

I sure as hell don't know why I did what I did next. Maybe because that dress was really clingy, and I could see a glimpse of her breasts, and a darker spot that had to be her pubic hair. Anyway, what I blurted out was this:

"Can you suck my dick, please?"

 

[AniHawk]

This reminds me of the Nintendorks board years ago when someone found a Misty/Brock sex fanfic thing which had Misty scream Brock was "as hard as a Ryhorn."

Damn people.

 

[robochimp]

This reminds me of the Nintendorks board years ago when someone found a Misty/Brock sex fanfic thing which had Misty scream Brock was "as hard as a Ryhorn."

Damn people.

Someone I know made a website which he filled with erotic stories about himself and poliwhirl. It was pretty damn funny