Torrent of Pork
Banned
There are times I'm glad I'm a homo.
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What’s the most disgusting thing that has happened to you?
- Thread starter Rival
- Start date
Quasicat
Member
I was on my way to work a couple of years ago when a lady, driving while 3 times over the legal limit, hit a school bus. Her driving was very inconsistent to where she would drop down to 20mph and then pass me like I was sitting still. She took off on a final stretch of road and disappeared into a giant fireball. The total impact was over 150 mph. I ran out to get the kids off of the bus and then checked on her. The only thing that was left of her was her upper torso and head completely covered in blood lying on her back. The bus was full of current and former students of mine and other than a couple of bumps and cuts, there were no other fatalities.
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Stouffers
Banned
Geez man, how young was your wife?
Starfield
Member
I
If life becomes so hard that you have to pee in a bottle I no longer wanna have a life.
Starfield
Member
Might aswell contribute to this thread now.
The myth behind people shitting themselves before/when they die isn't a myth. In some cases its real...and it sucks.
Paramedic here. I had alot of cpr's in my career where people ended up dying and being covered in their own shit however one case was especially bad since that guy was fat as fuck and since you can't properly perform cpr in bed we had to drag this guy on the floor next to the bed. Problem was that he lived in a very small bedroom and there was almost no space at all. So I had to use very uncomfortable ways of performing cpr. Doc also took ages to come and finally declare this guy dead. There was shit all over the place. On the bed, on the patient, on the floor, on my jacket (don't remember how it got there), it was summer so it also had like 35 degrees celcius in that room with opened windows. If this is how hell feels like then idk
The myth behind people shitting themselves before/when they die isn't a myth. In some cases its real...and it sucks.
Paramedic here. I had alot of cpr's in my career where people ended up dying and being covered in their own shit however one case was especially bad since that guy was fat as fuck and since you can't properly perform cpr in bed we had to drag this guy on the floor next to the bed. Problem was that he lived in a very small bedroom and there was almost no space at all. So I had to use very uncomfortable ways of performing cpr. Doc also took ages to come and finally declare this guy dead. There was shit all over the place. On the bed, on the patient, on the floor, on my jacket (don't remember how it got there), it was summer so it also had like 35 degrees celcius in that room with opened windows. If this is how hell feels like then idk
TheSadRanger
Banned
I mean, if any dude has kissed a chick after she's gone down on him a bit before sex. Then he probably has as well to some degree.
Ornlu
Banned
Dang dude, hope he didn't rough you up too bad.
H
hariseldon
Unconfirmed Member
There are times, living with women, where I wish I was a homo. Women can be truly disgusting.
petran79
Banned
Not disgusting as much but rather surreal. Pal with his bro and their families rented for a week a summer house. Kids were sleeping fortunately. His wife's sis arrived too.
They were sitting at the opposite side of the table discussing various stuff, while he, his young brother, me and my bro were sitting at the opposite side and he was showing us on the laptop a HQ scat video (it was released years ago in a private site where you had to buy it) where a man with a mask was laying down inside a specially made shitter and around 5 beautiful women were taking their turns on him. We were suppressing our laughs and wondering what fetishes people had.
It felt so surreal.... Fortunately kids were asleep too.
They were sitting at the opposite side of the table discussing various stuff, while he, his young brother, me and my bro were sitting at the opposite side and he was showing us on the laptop a HQ scat video (it was released years ago in a private site where you had to buy it) where a man with a mask was laying down inside a specially made shitter and around 5 beautiful women were taking their turns on him. We were suppressing our laughs and wondering what fetishes people had.
It felt so surreal.... Fortunately kids were asleep too.
TaySan
Banned
I tried it once out of curiosity and meh *shrugs*
brap
Banned
Very cool
H
hariseldon
Unconfirmed Member
And that was the last time that TaySan showed any intellectual curiosity.
nkarafo
Member
Went to watch Apocalypto and our seats were next to an empty one. That seat was closer to the center of the screen so i thought i could use it. Probably the person who got the seat couldn't make it to the movie.
All was well until i started feeling my butt warm and wet halfway through the movie. I smelled it. It was piss. Someone pissed the seat and instead of covering the seat they just didn,t sell the ticket for it. l couldnt leave the theater because i wasn't alone. I watched the rest of the movie knowing i'm covered with someone else's piss.
All was well until i started feeling my butt warm and wet halfway through the movie. I smelled it. It was piss. Someone pissed the seat and instead of covering the seat they just didn,t sell the ticket for it. l couldnt leave the theater because i wasn't alone. I watched the rest of the movie knowing i'm covered with someone else's piss.
captainraincoat
Banned
Had a girl ride my face in the dark while I was drunk....turns out she just got her period and for extra flavour she had a yeast infection so I woke up with dried blood all over my face and bed and what I thought were marshmallows in my goatee
nope...
nope...
Prison Mike
Banned
That raises more questions than answers lol
Stouffers
Banned
When you sit in someone else’s pee, it gives you the freedom to pee yourself and no one would be the wiser.
H-I-M
Member
BadBurger
Many “Whelps”! Handle It!
Someone left the backdoor open, and the gate on the walls in the backyard. Her little dog likes to book it into the field and thinks it's a game when you try to get her to come back. So she bolted out of the house, into the field. It was late and I just wanted to go to bed. Ended up step-sliding through dog poo instead.
MaestroMike
Gold Member
As a kid I drank mostly Coke all day and never ate veggies and had super weak bones. one time I smashed the the door on my big toe and the whole nail broke and came off kinda like in that movie the fly where his fingernails came off
Badlucktroll
Member
Had a toilet back up when i was sitting on it. Happened really fast. Pulled a giant bloody booger out of my nose that looked like a moon rock.
diffusionx
Gold Member
Based and redpilled
H
hariseldon
Unconfirmed Member
Forgot one childhood tale.. so I was sitting in class, I think it would have been chemistry, and I'd have been about 10. I had a bit of a bogey that needed dealing with. No big deal, I thought, just get it out, wipe it under the desk, nobody will be any the wiser. Nope. I grabbed an end of it and realised this was not your average bogey as the pulling motion could be felt waaaaaay up my nose. I was scared. Fucking terrified actually. However, I was past the point of no return as some of it was now hanging out. So I pulled some more, this thing was about 1/4 of an inch thick and it kept on coming. Wrapping it around my hand because there was nowhere else for it to go I kept on going, fearful that I might pull my brain out but not wanting to have this massive shoelace of a bogey dangling from my nose forever - it seemed to be quite fibrous as well in that it couldn't easily be broken off, so I had no choice. Eventually, I got it all out and the teacher spotted what was going on. I had to do the walk of shame with this huge bogey wrapped around my hand, to find a toilet to dispose of the beast. I have never managed to equal that bogey, and I hope I never will.
Tschumi
Member
my kids should be so lucky, their mum's staaacked
Stouffers
Banned
While golfing a few years back, I spent a good bit of time searching for my ball in the tall grass. When I got home, I stripped, showered and discovered 2 ticks on my butthole. I had to enlist my spouse to shine a flashlight on my hairy balloon knot and pick off 5 of the buggers. It’s the most ticks I’ve ever had on my anus at the same time.
Tschumi
Member
i'm so jealous
okay, that's it, this is where i had to close the thread because i was cracking up in an awkward location. DID you hold hands.
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Happosai
Hold onto your panties
When I was in 4th-grade there was this guy who was always faking sick to get out of class. The teacher told him to stay in his seat and he's like, "but...I feel like I'm going to puke." I recall her saying, "Don't say puke, it's vulgar." A few minutes later the lunch bell rang and we were excited because our cheap public school was serving a slice of Pizza Hut pizza that day. I sat down and the sick kid sits next to me. I remember joking about something and then looking at him with a napkin smashed up to his mouth and seeing sticky slime leaking from the tissue. I grabbed my tray and moved to the opposite side of the table far away. The lunch monitor comes over and shouts, "Brad's vomiting!" "Okay son, throw up into the lunch tray." They told us to keep our heads down but you could hear him vomiting all over his food and spraying onto the food of the classmates who didn't move away from him in time.
I've seen this guy as an adult and he's still a weirdo.
I've seen this guy as an adult and he's still a weirdo.
Mr Nash
square pies = communism
Well, I'm glad you're still with us. That could have ended very badly if you were positioned differently in your sleep. O_O
Stouffers
Banned
Maybe Walter White repositioned him.
Tschumi
Member
I'm waiting for the guy whose ensuite toilet i blocked with flaky, leafy, watery diarrhea - who then blindly promised to unclog that shit at some future date, shortly before i left his house.
It's quite an anecdote, really. We had once been close friends but it had faded badly, and this was like some very late additional visit to his house - can't remember why. Anyway we were playing a console in his basement, with a few other half-friends, and i said i had to use the toilet so he told me to use the one in his room.
I go up there and do my business, but the instant i pull the flush i know something's wrong. Zero suction, it just slowly fills up to 90% full and stays there.
I'm mortified, but i can't tell a lie. I go back downstairs, get him to leave the room with me, and mutter to him that i blocked his toilet.
He chuckles, says it's okay and he'll unclog it for me later. I actually tell him "it's full of my crap" and he tells me "it's fine it happens all the time".
I left his house shortly thereafter, i assume at some point he went upstairs and realised what really happened. And suctioned a blockage out through splashes of his ex-friend's asswater. I also assume that he told all his friends and there's another group of smug wankers somewhere in the world who will forever smirk at me
rightly so perhaps~
I've never heard from him since, it's been 13 years.
So like, Tim, if you're out here, on this forum: I'm so fucking sorry. But you should have posted here first.
It's quite an anecdote, really. We had once been close friends but it had faded badly, and this was like some very late additional visit to his house - can't remember why. Anyway we were playing a console in his basement, with a few other half-friends, and i said i had to use the toilet so he told me to use the one in his room.
I go up there and do my business, but the instant i pull the flush i know something's wrong. Zero suction, it just slowly fills up to 90% full and stays there.
I'm mortified, but i can't tell a lie. I go back downstairs, get him to leave the room with me, and mutter to him that i blocked his toilet.
He chuckles, says it's okay and he'll unclog it for me later. I actually tell him "it's full of my crap" and he tells me "it's fine it happens all the time".
I left his house shortly thereafter, i assume at some point he went upstairs and realised what really happened. And suctioned a blockage out through splashes of his ex-friend's asswater. I also assume that he told all his friends and there's another group of smug wankers somewhere in the world who will forever smirk at me
rightly so perhaps~I've never heard from him since, it's been 13 years.
So like, Tim, if you're out here, on this forum: I'm so fucking sorry. But you should have posted here first.
TaySan
Banned
I didn't think much about it back then, but yea looking back on it now that was scary. :/ At least it wouldn't have been painful death.
DragoonKain
Neighbours from Hell
I sharted in an Uber on the way home and couldn't say anything or I knew the driver would freak out, so I had to sit in my own shit for about 10 minutes and hope he didn't smell it. The most 10 nerve wracking minutes of my life.
I had a bacterial infection and needed to send my own shit into a lap to get it tested for what kinda bacteria was in my intestines, so I needed to shit into this bowl thing that attaches to the toilet, scoop it out into lab containers and drive it to the facility.
I had a bacterial infection and needed to send my own shit into a lap to get it tested for what kinda bacteria was in my intestines, so I needed to shit into this bowl thing that attaches to the toilet, scoop it out into lab containers and drive it to the facility.
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#Phonepunk#
Banned
i was asked to help a friend afford an abortion. i said yes, because i was young, and much more liberal back then, and besides i ultimately do think it is a woman's choice. but thinking back on it now, and the life that could have been, and the pain i saw in her following that day, it is gives me very different feelings at this point in my life. tbh i am rethinking my entire position on the topic. (sorry if im thinking up the board w it)
NecrosaroIII
Ultimate DQ Fan
It was May of 2002. I was a Sophmore in high school. First period of school, I had to take a shit. But at the time, I had a phobia about using public restrooms. I held it in all day. By the end of, I was running a fever because I was holding it in. The bus ride home was agonizing. 40 minutes long with lots of bumps. I was sweating and wanted to throw up. After the bus parked, I had another 20 minute walk to my home. At that point, safely far away from my peers, I just started shitting myself as I walked.
I couldn't take the pain anymore. When I got home, I threw away the pants and took a shower. I then went to bed and slept the rest of the day.
I couldn't take the pain anymore. When I got home, I threw away the pants and took a shower. I then went to bed and slept the rest of the day.
Weiji
Banned
Homeless guy smelling like vomit came to sit next to me on the bus. Before I could move he plopped down, instantly passed out and fell on top of me, pissing himself in the process.
I couldn’t get the smell of piss and vomit out of my clothing all day and when I finally got home I threw out the shirt and pants and had to get my favorite jacket dry cleaned.
In hind sight I should have just gone home and called in sick or something. I was miserable all day and probably stunk up our entire company.
I couldn’t get the smell of piss and vomit out of my clothing all day and when I finally got home I threw out the shirt and pants and had to get my favorite jacket dry cleaned.
In hind sight I should have just gone home and called in sick or something. I was miserable all day and probably stunk up our entire company.
Happosai
Hold onto your panties
Most of these are funnier than they are disgusting.I'm waiting for the guy whose ensuite toilet i blocked with flaky, leafy, watery diarrhea - who then blindly promised to unclog that shit at some future date, shortly before i left his house.
It's quite an anecdote, really. We had once been close friends but it had faded badly, and this was like some very late additional visit to his house - can't remember why. Anyway we were playing a console in his basement, with a few other half-friends, and i said i had to use the toilet so he told me to use the one in his room.
I go up there and do my business, but the instant i pull the flush i know something's wrong. Zero suction, it just slowly fills up to 90% full and stays there.
I'm mortified, but i can't tell a lie. I go back downstairs, get him to leave the room with me, and mutter to him that i blocked his toilet.
He chuckles, says it's okay and he'll unclog it for me later. I actually tell him "it's full of my crap" and he tells me "it's fine it happens all the time".
I left his house shortly thereafter, i assume at some point he went upstairs and realised what really happened. And suctioned a blockage out through splashes of his ex-friend's asswater. I also assume that he told all his friends and there's another group of smug wankers somewhere in the world who will forever smirk at me
I've never heard from him since, it's been 13 years.
So like, Tim, if you're out here, on this forum: I'm so fucking sorry. But you should have posted here first.
Tschumi
Member
I remember an Indian removal guy who helped us move house.. he begged us to use our toilet and left the biggest, baddest, most half-flushed, stain'y three days aged in the gut curry meat pie in our toilet.. on our first day in the new apartment. I had to clean it up, we didn't have a brush.. the stink lingered for days, the flush was a yellow brown for the next 4 or 5 flushes. A truly tropical kak.
Happosai
Hold onto your panties
Hell of a house warming gift.
Not the most disgusting thing but not great either:
I visited this Amish town one Summer in Indiana. The whole Amish thing was like summer tourism rather than actually interacting with the Amish (not sure what would compel one to do that). They had horse carriage rides. When you sit in the carriage you're only about 1 meter from the horse's butthole. The carriage ride had only gone in for about a minute before the horse blew an enormous fart in my face. At first I was laughing...but the fact went on for like a minute and I'm sure I was being pelted by small poop flecks. Makes me wonder about couples who think horse and carriage rides are a great idea for a wedding (think about it...white dress...horse arse...).
Phunkydiabetic
Banned
Fuck you for this
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