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What NOT to do at E3 FAQ

DCharlie said:
model (ie: something that doesn't need you to bleed before getting the bucks back in)

It'll be an interesting gen this time, but people expecting Sony to have the same lead as last time are going to be surprised, i think. The dangerous thing is , looking at the outlays, it looks like Sony expect to romp home and i think they might have fucked themselves quite badly. :(
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the nintendo mistake(tm)
 
DCharlie said:
My major concern is where MS potentially winning a 3rd round would leave us, and what would happen to a Sony running a different business model (ie: something that doesn't need you to bleed before getting the bucks back in)
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What 3rd round? By 2011 there won't be console "hardware" anymore, it'll be an abstracted platform running Gindows (Grid Windows), with Nintendo and MS as software 3rd parties.

Besides, isn't PS3 bound to failure now that it's clear it'll have considerably superior hw? The whole 512MB ram thing was obviously a MS ploy to con Sony to increase spec even more, where they'll actually release with 256MB in the last moment.
 
Odnetnin said:
13) do bring a remote that can turn off tvs and disable all EA game screens
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There was this watch that was being sold on the net a few weeks ago; it had every damn code built in, and on a press of a button, it would cycle thru each and every one of them, closing down all TVs in its range

.. If I went to E3, I would do it :lol
 
Fafalada said:
What 3rd round? By 2011 there won't be console "hardware" anymore, it'll be an abstracted platform running Gindows (Grid Windows), with Nintendo and MS as software 3rd parties.

Besides, isn't PS3 bound to failure now that it's clear it'll have considerably superior hw?
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Joking aside, it is bound to happen one day - just not by 2011. The infrastructure just isn't, and won't be there for quite some time. But it will happen. :)
 
Gazunta said:
17. Visit Gazunta and play the game he is showing off, convincing his bosses it was worth sending him to E3.

Edit: Mosaic, Ferricide, Fowler, Skip, Exxy, John_tv, Argyle, Marty, EVERYONE ELSE from #vidgames IM LOOKING AT YOU!!!!
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Hey, I seem to recall asking about you at the last E3, I DID MY PART :)
 
Not going to E3 but found some good out of this thread (And some nice laughs!). Perfect Dark Zero looks amazing, eh? Bring on E3 I want to see the Xbox 360 blowout!

MS having Madden next gen exclusive this year is going to be huge.
 
24.) Do not inadvertently scream "cock-sucker" when getting fragged by Howard Lincoln in Metroid Prime: Echoes multiplayer.

::blushes::
 
Kobun Heat said:
OH SHIT LINK LINK LINK
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nintendojo.jpg


http://www.home.fh-karlsruhe.de/~meha0013/temp/nintendojo.wmv
 
random number) Those who love the free shirts, try and hide the excitement by NOT diving onto to people as a booth babe throws em from a stage. Hide the excitement by not putting em on right away either.



You know what? Just dont take the fuckin shirts, dont wear the shirts either. Douche.
 
Perfect Dark 0 won't have shit on Halo 2. It doesn't take a genius to predict this!

DC -- I don't doubt MS will do better than next term, but more share than Sony in the US? I don't see that happening...
 
fugimax said:
24.) Do not inadvertently scream "cock-sucker" when getting fragged by Howard Lincoln in Metroid Prime: Echoes multiplayer.

::blushes::
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did you do that? He must have thought you were coming on to him.
 
25) If you're at a press event and they ask for volunteers to show off multiplayer, DO wipe the floor with the other guys in front of everyone.
 
That poor idiot manchild with the ridiculous headband.

Parents, remember to just say no when your dullard children ask you if they can wear a stupid headband and try out their elementary Japanese at E3.
 
That guy needs to come back to the Nintendo press conference, same garb, and ask another question in Japanese. If Nintendo were smart, they'd seek him out and arrange it as comic relief... It'd go over huge with the crowd.
 
We found a weirdo at the Nintendo booth in the E3 convention center -- a college student with a "Nintendojo" bandanna wrapped around his head and speaking fluent Japanese. He's a man, but his name's Nathan [sounds like 'nei-san', Japanese for "elder sister"]. Apparently he plans to cut school in order to visit Japan for Nintendo Spaceworld, held at Makuhari in August. He's a bit of a blockhead. We thought he was a Nintendo fanboy, but he proved us wrong by going up to anyone with a mustache and saying "You must be Mr. Sakaguchi from Square. Can I get your autograph?"
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Thanks to Disco Stu!
 
I'm not a very good translator, but:

We found this really strange guy at the Nintendo booth at E3. He was wearing a headband that read 'Nintendojo', and he spoke fluent* Japanese. He was a guy, but his name was "Nathan".** He said he was probably going to skip school in August to go to Nintendo Space World. He was a real knucklehead.***

He was clearly a Nintendo fanboy, but when a moustached guy walked by, he said "You're Sakaguchi-san from Square! Can I have your autograph?" It was a completely different person..."

(I'm lost on the last sentence, そのへタレっぷりを発揮していた。)****

*pera pera translates to fluent, but what they really meant is 'speaks in complete sentences'
**which romanizes to nee-san, which means "sister" in japanese
***bonkura, as used in azumanga daioh

EDIT: ****and I just realized it's part of the last sentence, so I have no idea what it means. What's hetare-puri?
 
Milkman said:
It might have gone down smoother if he didn't take what might have been the 5 longest minutes in the universe to squeeze that shit out. Nevermind that Miyamoto didn't understand a fucking thing he said, but there was time for like....2 questions afterwards. Yeah.... no thanks.

As for Europeans, basically what Ferricide said. They seem to have this desire to act knowledgeable in a public forum, and yet end up doing exactly the opposite. They also have a tendency to offer opinions and statements ill-disguised as questions, usually taking significants amounts of time to do so. Usually every North American editor in the room is like "Oh shit no, not the German guy! Auuugh! He picked the German guy!"
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Its funny, because that was my first e3, and I asked the question directly after that, about if Nintendo viewed sony and microsoft as playing a different role in the industry because of their non-focus on gaming, including extra functions that were at the time, superfluous.
 
Kobun Heat said:
By the way, know what my electronic dictionary spit back at me when I looked up bonkura just now?

Spoony.
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Yeah, I got the same thing, made me laugh :) I couldn't help but think of the "spoony bard" line from FF4.
 
Naked Shuriken said:
There was this watch that was being sold on the net a few weeks ago; it had every damn code built in, and on a press of a button, it would cycle thru each and every one of them, closing down all TVs in its range

.. If I went to E3, I would do it :lol
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Yeah, I bought a similar, but less advanced watch like that a couple years ago. It was pretty cool; I used it at school, at the mall, and at a couple restaruants. :)

I still have it somewhere, but I have no idea where the codebook is (it requires you to enter the code for whichever brand of TV you want to use it on).

This thread has been great, btw. Time to watch that Nintendojo video and see what that's all about.
 
88) DON'T ask the Nintendo rep where the B button is when playing Mario Sunshine. Yep, one of my former co-workers did this, causing Mosaic and I untold shame as we tried to apologize for the dude's lameness. "It's a new console, he hasn't played yet. He was dropped as a child. He's illiterate. Oh, he's a writer? Have you read his shit? It's horrible. We only brought him cause we felt sorry for him."

89) Don't pass up the opportunity to get a picture with Mr. T. No matter how many awesome pictures you take in your lifetime, a picture of you with Mr. T's gold dinner plate will be everyone's favorite.

90) Booth tours? Ehhh, nope. Walk around on your own, drop off a business card, say hello to the PR people you are friendly with. Do you really want to spend an hour at THQ's booth? Do you want to spend an hour looking at horrible licensed GBA games and movie-licensed games? Nope.
 
this thread rocks and makes me realise how much I'd love to go to e3 then the realisation that i probably never will kicks in.

O well I'll have to make do with DC++ (if its running this year SOMEONE TELL ME ARGH!) was some funny shit last year the crap we spammed during the conferences pissed myself laughing.
 
I heard about the Nintendojo debacle years ago but seeing the movie puts it in an entirely different perspective. HO HO HO HO! That magazine article is pure gold, too! :D

I'd be lying if I didn't almost feel embarrased that he has the same name as me.
 
Milkman said:
Don't crowd the Sony press booth saying "I should be on the list." If you didn't get your wristband in the mail, you're not getting into the Sony Party.
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Now that is just plainly not true! Hundreds of nobodies attend the party with this exact strategy. Perhaps claiming to "freelance" for Ziff Davis. You know who you are, bitch!

Folder said:
Eating in nice restaurants on the Strip on someone else's expenses is a far more pleasant way to go about things.
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How true.

On a related note I am starting to dread this year's show, I really just can't be arsed.

P.S. When the man says "Europeans" I hope he does not include UK people. We are way cooler than these ridiculous Nihongo-attempting yanks, that's for sure.
 
KyotoMecca said:
P.S. When the man says "Europeans" I hope he does not include UK people. We are way cooler than these ridiculous Nihongo-attempting yanks, that's for sure.
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I clarified this for you earlier: I love my brothers-in-arms from the UK and snowier, demo-producing climes!!
 
Juice said:
Hah! I started writing for Nintendojo right in the middle of all that shit. The bandanas actually got the guys a lot of "positive" attention (EGM and the like).
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Heha--wait, wha? What do you mean, "positive attention"? :) I'm just curious.
 
MattKeil said:
Classic. Still the best thing that ever happened at E3. I have never seen anyone do something so stupid in a theoretically professional setting.
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Isn't there a longer one?
Also, it's only some geek in front who declares it the worst Japanese he ever heard. Isn't there a version with some on-stage ridicule too?
 
Indeed, when I saw it on the live webcast there was additional ownage. Peter Main was like "They have no idea what you just said" and then he had to ask the question in English and it was just as retarded, and the whole audience laughs at what a stupid question, and finally Miyamoto gives this really brief answer along the lines of:

"I work for Nintendo because they hired me."
 
Naked Shuriken said:
There was this watch that was being sold on the net a few weeks ago; it had every damn code built in, and on a press of a button, it would cycle thru each and every one of them, closing down all TVs in its range

.. If I went to E3, I would do it :lol
Click to expand...




Because, really, what E3 needs is a few more annoying children in attendance.
 
Now that is just plainly not true! Hundreds of nobodies attend the party with this exact strategy. Perhaps claiming to "freelance" for Ziff Davis. You know who you are, bitch!
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Are you talking about the press conference? So it's worth trying even though you didn't get invited? What's the best course of action?
 
Gaijin To Ronin said:
I get good answer from my questions, and I don´t get a "don´t understand" as answer, I suppose that is a good signal.
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Gaijin to Ronin, I hereby bestow upon you the rank of HONORARY AMERICAN. Wear it proudly, son.
 
Word on the street is developers want to fellate MS and stab Sony with rusty knives. With PS2, Sony could get away with ridiculous architecture because of marketshare, but human-being usable development has to look appealing after all these years
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sure, but unfortunately the publishers are the guys pulling the strings, and they like PS2 marketshare, so the developers can go fuck themselves and work 18 hour days learning any architecture they need to.
 
Odnetnin said:
13) do bring a remote that can turn off tvs and disable all EA game screens
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This would only work once as you could black tape the IR ports of tvs - unless there are some RF or bluetooth enabled tv's. But if you could fuck with the projectors in the big meetings, that would be quite the feat. +5 anarchy to anyone who knows how to shut off projectors.

Iwata: . . . and this is Revolution . . .

[bleep] projector shuts down

Fanboy: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
Virgin: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!
Game "Journalist": Shut up, I'm trying to do my job here.
 
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