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[Escape Goat]

Men are most sexually charged in the mornings too.

 

[tedtropy]

i find that taking a piss makes the boner go away. (although it can be messy)

I would need to stand like 10 feet away from the toilet to create the arc necessary to accomplish that, and even then, I don't trust my on-the-fly math skills that much. :lol I jerk off when I wake up, then take a cold shower to which my penis quickly says "damn man, I give up, I GIVE UP!" then I can take my piss without watering the hanging plants.

 

[oxrock]

i find that leaning over the toilet and using one hand to hold your weight, while using the other to direct your penis works about as well as can be expected. I've heard somewhere that whacking off with your morning wood can be dangerous. I have no clue how/why though.

 

[Ristamar]

I find that hard to believe, unless the grogginess is causing people to fall off the bed or something.

Yeah, I never heard of this "may cause permanent damage" clause. If that would hold true, I'm totally screwed. :lol

 

[tedtropy]

i find that leaning over the toilet and using one hand to hold your weight, while using the other to direct your penis works about as well as can be expected. I've heard somewhere that whacking off with your morning wood can be dangerous. I have no clue how/why though.

Unless the magic number is in scientific notation, I think I would've encountered that danger by now.

 

[oxrock]

http://www.teenwire.com/index.asp?taStrona=http://www.teenwire.com/ask/2003/as_20030507p560_wood.asp

hmm, scientific crap

 

[Project Midway]

you know what really sucks... when you have to piss like a race horse AND have morning wood. You have to do a fucking headstand to piss.

Yeah, its kinda difficult. I have to sit to be able to do it. :lol

 

[oxrock]

How the hell can you have a full blown erection and piss sitting down? My dick would have to bend in half.

 

[Project Midway]

How the hell can you have a full blown erection and piss sitting down? My dick would have to bend in half.

well actually I cant if its *full blown* erection. Maybe its only at around 80% when I do it. I just bend it downwards and raise my butt little bit :lol

Damn this is a strange topic. :lol

 

[oxrock]

well, i didn't expect you to get so graphic... if i knew what you looked like right now i think i'd be scared :lol

 

[tedtropy]

well actually I cant if its *full blown* erection. Maybe its only at around 80% when I do it. I just bend it downwards and raise my butt little bit :lol

Damn this is a strange topic. :lol

I'm...I'm sorry, so you make love...to your toilet? :lol

 

[oxrock]

The toilet would be the perfect woman... no yabbering on all day, no "snuggle" time, no annoying parents. If only it had tits.

 

[Project Midway]

:lol :lol :lol

no, no, I'm just explaining how to take a piss with a morning wood.

 

[oxrock]

but does it at least moan when you're done?

 

[tedtropy]

The toilet would be the perfect woman... no yabbering on all day, no "snuggle" time, no annoying parents. If only it had tits.

And very little cleanup. Just flush and the crime scene is gone!

 

[etiolate]

Pissing with wood always involves bending it more than it wants to bend. =/

I don't get wet dreams either. I don't even have sexual dreams often. Maybe once every five years.

 

[Loki]

Pissing with wood always involves bending it more than it wants to bend. =/

I don't get wet dreams either. I don't even have sexual dreams often. Maybe once every five years.

Not true, necessarily. I never have to bend it past the horizontal, actually. What I do (and I imagine others do this as well) is to tilt my entire body forward, while using one hand to hold the wall so I don't fall forward, and the other to direct my little soldier. I've never had to "bend it down" when I had morning wood and had to pee, nor would I want to-- that must hurt like a bitch lol.

 

[oxrock]

one of my biggest problems is that when i have an erection the urine stream doesn't go as striaght as it should sometimes. Or sometimes i get a double stream and it's impossible to get both streams to go in the toilet. The later usuallly only happen with extreme wood though.

 

[bishoptl]

i find that leaning over the toilet and using one hand to hold your weight, while using the other to direct your penis works about as well as can be expected.

Yep, and this is called the "Superman" method. The fact that you actually posted this with THAT avatar will provide me with giggles for the better part of the week.

 

[etiolate]

Not true, necessarily. I never have to bend it past the horizontal, actually. What I do (and I imagine others do this as well) is to tilt my entire body forward, while using one hand to hold the wall so I don't fall forward, and the other to direct my little soldier. I've never had to "bend it down" when I had morning wood and had to pee, nor would I want to-- that must hurt like a bitch lol.

Yeah, angles work too.

Fucking women, all you have to do is just sit down!

 

[SSGMUN10000]

Or how about taking a piss after sex, that shit shoots everywhere for me. Its like that scene from Me, Myself and Irene.

 

[Mr Gump]

well actually I cant if its *full blown* erection. Maybe its only at around 80% when I do it. I just bend it downwards and raise my butt little bit :lol

Damn this is a strange topic. :lol

:lol

And the preceeding replies:

:lol :lol

 

[andthebeatgoeson]

 

[Christoff Yurievich]

The bastard doesnt go away for ages either.

Always wear a t-shirt when confronting parents in the morning. Let that be the lesson of the day.

parents? parents? Try kids who are at about that height anyway and want a morning hug. I do not leave my bedroom until I'm sure everything is put away nicely.

 

[Desperado]

:lol :lol :lol :lol
:lol :lol :lol :lol
:lol :lol :lol :lol

LMFAO at this entire thread.