Support NeoGAF

[base]

hi there,

Probably many of you experienced the same think. I'm almost 34 and I'm very sad about the fact that I still haven't found the one and only. I have met so many girls but fucking hell I simply can't stand listening to their bullshit. It's always the same everytime. I have to adapt to her and she doesn't give a fuck what I like. Playing games? Stop being childish.

I thought that when I get older girls would become reasobable but they aren't. All they care is their nails, facebook, shitty two face friends and nothing more. They want to be treated equally but eventually they expect you to organize everything.

 

[Ikutachi]

 

[Birdo]

Sounds like you need a man.

 

[teezzy]

All relationships are a series of compromises, and none are perfect. "One and only" is childish folklore.

You both have to adapt and learn to accept each other's faults. I'm single too, at 29, but I've never had anyone complain about me playing games too much. Maybe you actually have a problem, OP.

 

[SKM1]

As stupid/counterintuitive/obvious as it might sound, the answer is to focus on yourself and follow the hero's journey.

All paths lead to that same conclusion, in my estimation.

To derive meaning from women in life is one of the gravest mistakes a man can make.

 

[triplestation]

legalizing hookers would fix it all

 

[TaySan]

OP, take a look at yourself and ask yourself "What can i improve about myself?"

Look for something that's lacking in your life and improve yourself whether that is hitting the gym, finding a new hobby or going out and socializing with others.

 

[Hudo]

As stupid/counterintuitive/obvious as it might sound, the answer is to focus on yourself and follow the hero's journey.

All paths lead to that same conclusion, in my estimation.

To derive meaning from women in life is one of the gravest mistakes a man can make.

This.

 

[zeorhymer]

There is no "one and only."
Why are you chasing women who "doesn't give a fuck what [you] like"?
Why would you think just because your age number would women miraculously be different?

It sounds like you're still chasing 20 y/o or women who doesn't want to settle down or want to have a career first and are just focusing on themselves. What do *you* want in a relationship is the first question that should be answered first.

 

[#Phonepunk#]

probably has to do with where you are meeting them. i used to meet women exclusively at bars. amazing how they were mostly sluts who just wanted to drink do drugs and not have anything serious.

i like this advice: go to a laundrymat. you will meet people who are normal people, just there, doing laundry. think of the place as a filter. if you go to a bar, you are filtering for barflies. if you go to a place like a laundrymat, it's really one of the most normal things you can do, your chances of running into a random normal woman go up exponentially.

at any rate that's my theory. i am 39 and haven't had a relationship in over 10 years at this point.

 

[FreedomOfSpeech]

I'm almost 34 and I'm very sad about the fact that I still haven't found the one and only.

You have been lied to.

You need to redpill yourself and a good way to start is to read 'The rational male'. I've recommended this book on gaf before. It changed my outlook on life for sure.

First thing this book deals with is this myth of 'the one'. Then it goes on to show you how poisoned society has become by feminism. For example, it gave you this idea of 'the one'.

Ask yourself: is your understanding of how man-woman interactions work consistent with reality? I suspect it's not.
Luckily for you, people have already done a ton of research (evolutionary biology, PUA insights, sociology etc etc).

The rabbit hole does go deep though. But it's better than existing in clueless limbo.

 

[M1chl]

-Specify amount of women which represent "same shit"
-Specify age of those "older girls"
-I guess in some sense I agree, but I don't think I would be alive and function normally being alone.

 

[manfestival]

I had a long stretch of about 10(20-30 range) years before I got into a relationship. Met lots of lovely ladies and had self sustain but most of that time I was bluepilled and very uneven. It wasn't until I started working on myself(at 27) that things started to change for me. I spent about 1 1/2 years getting into bluepill and mens self help stuff. What really helped me was getting some coaching after getting into working out and physical improvement. I do recommend reading the book "Way of the Superior Man" as well. Well once I hit 30 it was almost like a wave hit me and everything I studied came to fruition. I am currently 33 and these last 3 years really have dwarfed the rest of my life in my success with meeting women. Coaching CAN be expensive but there is so much coaching material on youtube for free that there is no reason to at least partake in some of it. I usually listen to this stuff on my daily drive to work or around town.

I think the biggest thing is to really work on self reflection and improvement. I really hate the cheesy line of "stumbling upon your true love." When people are essentially not mentioning to take any action to change the current results. I think it is like wishing you won the powerball but you didn't buy a ticket.

 

[teezzy]

At 29, I'm definitely more attracted to women in their 20's. My last ex was actually 22. Before that it was either women my own age or a couple years younger at most.

The issue is that I'm looking to settle down with someone sane. Start a family and all that. Most people who are looking for that seem to have already secured that.

Lots of women in their 20s are way too obsessed with smoking weed and partying constantly, and have these delusions of grandeur where the world is their oyster. I've grown far more cynical and realistic since.

I'm hoping to meet someone at like the gym or the library etc once all this COVID bs lightens up. Someone who actually prioritizes taking care of themselves and has their shit together. You have to consider what someone else offers you and what you offer them

I'd just hate to come off like a creep ass hitting on chicks at the grocery store or something. I know how frowned upon that can be these days.

I'm not who I once was, even a couple years ago. I had to learn that the hard way. I'm so over "counter culture" at this point.

 

[Mahadev]

You're underestimating the power of shut the fuck up. I establish early in the relationship that if she doesn't like me the way I am she can go any time she wants, I'm highly independent to the point of anti-social so I genuinely believe that but you can fake it too. Women oddly respect that so when they start to whine a lot about how I spend my time I reply with a shut the fuck up and end the discussion. If she doesn't like me she can go, it's not as if most modern women are such a catch that I will cry about it. The catch would never demand such things anyway but that's subjective I guess.

 

[augmental]

at any rate that's my theory. i am 39 and haven't had a relationship in over 10 years at this point.

Holy crap, are you me? That hits a little close haha.

 

[p_xavier]

For those who want to switch teams, I'm prolific in that area of expertise.

 

[Sub_Level]

For those who want to switch teams, I'm prolific in that area of expertise.

 

[p_xavier]

Come 45, when your gf or wife is bitching all the time, gives you sex once a year, get depressed and you finally say fuck it, I need a BJ even from a faggot, call me. You'd be surprised in my 3500 folks town how many guys like that I did.

 

[Anal Wake]

I met my gf on a sex chatroom. Now, 7 years later, we have 2 sons and live as a pretty happy family. You just have to look, even in the weirdest places, and wait for the right one. It’s not exactly rocket science. Just swipe on Tinder or whatever and eventually you will meet interesting women.

 

[p_xavier]

I met my gf on a sex chatroom. Now, 7 years later, we have 2 sons and live as a pretty happy family. You just have to look, even in the weirdest places, and wait for the right one. It’s not exactly rocket science. Just swipe on Tinder or whatever and eventually you will meet interesting women.

I guess they all need their anal waking in their relationships.

 

[Deleted member 1159]

For me it was just a matter of putting myself out there when I started over at a new job in a new town. I started up twice monthly social gatherings for coworkers, got to meet women my age, eventually met my wife at one of them. It was a good way to meet people who weren’t total randos, had something in common, etc. Although if you end up in a relationship with a coworker and it doesn’t work out, that can be bad...but it’s been a decade together for us

 

[teezzy]

^^^^ I dated a co manager once, dumped her, and hooked up with her older sister a couple times


Woooo boyyy did that not end well

 

[O-N-E]

I think you need to get better at analyzing signs of whether a woman shows the correct future prospects for you. Also, figure out where those type of women are most likely to be or who is most likely to know them.

 

[HellforLeather]

i like this advice: go to a laundrymat.

Pro: you already know they know how to do laundry

Con: you already know they are too broke to afford a washer and dryer

 

[SKM1]

You have been lied to.

You need to redpill yourself and a good way to start is to read 'The rational male'. I've recommended this book on gaf before. It changed my outlook on life for sure.

First thing this book deals with is this myth of 'the one'. Then it goes on to show you how poisoned society has become by feminism. For example, it gave you this idea of 'the one'.

Ask yourself: is your understanding of how man-woman interactions work consistent with reality? I suspect it's not.
Luckily for you, people have already done a ton of research (evolutionary biology, PUA insights, sociology etc etc).

The rabbit hole does go deep though. But it's better than existing in clueless limbo.

I second this but an important caveat is that many people make a living out of preaching red pill / pua related stuff. It is then convenient for these communities to keep you hooked on this stuff and that is very, very toxic.

Red pilling (of any kind) has to be an exploratory transition into a coherent (and not contrarian) view of reality.
If one stays focused on these topics, his pyramid of values still has women at the top, and one is still a slave.

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

Sounds like you need a man.

Are you man enough for him?

 

[iconmaster]

Sounds like you need a man.

 

[Liljagare]

OP made me want to write some stuff:

Relationships are about giving and taking, in various ways.

If you only give, you will be taken advantage of until you are so miserable that you leave, or you stay and become miserable.

If you only take, you will be left, eventually, or you end up with totally miserable partner, that you will leave.

No partner will ever like everything about you, try to change what you can, and change what might be a good idea to actually change, if you don't show effort to listen, after the infatuation is over, you'll both be alone again, this goes both ways though. Communication is what keeps most stuff in live at a healthy level.

Relationships do take some effort to maintain, so decide if you want to make the effort, or not. Or, like alot of people, you might realize you do not ever want long term relationships, everyone is different, nobody fits into a mold. Takes some thinking and soulsearching to find your way in life.

And, people can change their view of things several times in life.

Have a good weekend.

 

[12Goblins]

careful, the pill on the left leads to inceldom

 

[kingbean]

Come 45, when your gf or wife is bitching all the time, gives you sex once a year, get depressed and you finally say fuck it, I need a BJ even from a faggot, call me. You'd be surprised in my 3500 folks town how many guys like that I did.

Best laugh I've had all day. Thanks

 

[Rest]

Incel GAF represent, I guess.

 

[nush]

Incel GAF represent, I guess.

You just need to learn the skillset and keep trying.

 

[Rest]

You just need to learn the skillset and keep trying.

I'm not an incel, mr. redpill is.

 

[Redlancet]

its hard?

 

[Elektro Demon]

You need to start seeing whores, my friend.

 

[Super Mario]

When you first meet a girl, it is very important you ask yourself this question BEFORE you get serious: "Does she have all of the qualities I am looking for?"

The answer will undoubtably be "no". You can now get serious with her. At least you tried. Tell us about the terrible breakup story later.

 

[hariseldon]

There are good women out there. Mine is excellent. Bullshit free, hot, her only flaw is that she keeps beating me at Mario Kart. The right woman will respect your interests, a good relationship has space for both parties to enjoy their own space.

I think the OP might have some unhealthy attitudes and possibly be looking in the wrong places. Also some of the advice here is terrible.

 

[hard_boiled]

Hang in there OP. Maybe try reading up on & sharpening your social skills. Joining different groups or clubs & being an active member may help as well. Maybe community service could help you meet new people, which could improve your odds of finding a woman you get along with.

 

[rofif]

I think due to the internet, overinformation, media and social media that people generally have VERY HIGH demands. They expect movie stars.
Especially women... You must be tall, handsome in a specific way, have a good work, be funny but not too funny... it's rough.
At my work there is this 36yo engineer. Very polite gentleman type guy. Not super fit but far from fat. Average height, balding a bit. Not a drunk, smoker etc. Normal good guy and yet nada. he is alone. Department over there is this 40yo lady. SAME AS HIM. Polite, fine looking etc and she is also alone.
Her expectations are sky high. No one meets the demands... He would be happy to go out with a nice, simple lady but all he gets are fucked up ones or childish smokers/drunks,.

I do have a wife but if I did not, I would still be alone. I've met her 12 years ago just when hanging out with people. I asked her out since I saw she was eyeing me and it worked out by accident.
Thankfully she is amazing. No nagging, no problems, all free time I have and don't want kids haha

 

[Taxexemption]

It's because of the internet. The internet and global economy have made people more easily disposed of, and given people the appearance of having more options than they do. We also have a culture that frequently portrays men badly.

I'm kinda lonely but... I ask myself, how many women are gonna be really excited to share in my lifestyle? Not many. Most of the time I just work and then I'm too tired or not in the mood to do anything, and I don't even have my own place. I can be funny or interesting at times, but a lot of the stuff I'm interested in is boring to other people. Until I get myself a little more established, most women I don't think would want to share my lifestyle. I try to think of ways to make my life more interesting but they pretty much all involve spending money and I'm trying to be super frugal.


I am taking dance classes now, at least where I am there are way more women than men in the classes, I was told that's typical. don't know if it's really a great place to meet someone or not, but it's an interesting experience.

 

[hariseldon]

I do have a wife but if I did not, I would still be alone. I've met her 12 years ago just when hanging out with people. I asked her out since I saw she was eyeing me and it worked out by accident.
Thankfully my fine is amazing. No nagging, no problems, all free time I have and don't want kids haha

I’m in the same boat - my company has lots of women and many are single and dear god I might consider a shag but I’d never consider a relationship with most of them. I’d say there’s ONE who has decent values and is attractive and as you’d expect she’s married. It takes luck to find the right woman at the right time, when she’s ready and in the right place mentally.

 

[hariseldon]

It's because of the internet. The internet and global economy have made people more easily disposed of, and given people the appearance of having more options than they do. We also have a culture that frequently portrays men badly.

I'm kinda lonely but... I ask myself, how many women are gonna be really excited to share in my lifestyle? Not many. Most of the time I just work and then I'm too tired or not in the mood to do anything, and I don't even have my own place. I can be funny or interesting at times, but a lot of the stuff I'm interested in is boring to other people. Until I get myself a little more established, most women I don't think would want to share my lifestyle. I try to think of ways to make my life more interesting but they pretty much all involve spending money and I'm trying to be super frugal.


I am taking dance classes now, at least where I am there are way more women than men in the classes, I was told that's typical. don't know if it's really a great place to meet someone or not, but it's an interesting experience.

Until you fix your confidence nothing’s gonna happen (or worse you’ll attract a leech).

 

[Taxexemption]

Until you fix your confidence nothing’s gonna happen (or worse you’ll attract a leech).

Pretty sure whatever issues I have are permanent. It all goes back to my childhood when I started to think my mom didn't care about me. If the people that are supposed to care about you and have good reason to don't, why should you expect anything better from anyone else? I'm trying to make myself a more interesting person and to work on living a life that most people would want to live, but deep down inside I'm still like 10 years old emotionally, just wanting a hug or a head pat from a woman, and I realize a huge portion of men and women probably can't relate to that, but that's me. I mean yeah I'd like to have sex but to me that's pretty unimportant compared to being in a relationship where I think the other person actually cares about me.

 

[DESTROYA]

Pretty sure whatever issues I have are permanent. It all goes back to my childhood when I started to think my mom didn't care about me. If the people that are supposed to care about you and have good reason to don't, why should you expect anything better from anyone else? I'm trying to make myself a more interesting person and to work on living a life that most people would want to live, but deep down inside I'm still like 10 years old emotionally, just wanting a hug or a head pat from a woman, and I realize a huge portion of men and women probably can't relate to that, but that's me. I mean yeah I'd like to have sex but to me that's pretty unimportant compared to being in a relationship where I think the other person actually cares about me.

Get a puppy.

 

[Jack Peterson]

I'm in a relationship right now and it's extremely stressful. I'm a paranoid person and not very trusting so I'm never really relaxed when I'm dating someone.

 

[Foamy]

I'm almost 34 and I'm very sad about the fact that I still haven't found the one and only......
It's always the same everytime. I have to adapt to her and she doesn't give a fuck what I like.

I'm going to say something here and you're not going to like it but you need to hear it to have any chance at a normal relationship.
"You're a pussy".
The very fact that women feel they can start controlling your life at the onset or very early on in dating you speaks volumes. You project weakness and subservience to women.

 

[A.Romero]

Pretty sure whatever issues I have are permanent. It all goes back to my childhood when I started to think my mom didn't care about me. If the people that are supposed to care about you and have good reason to don't, why should you expect anything better from anyone else? I'm trying to make myself a more interesting person and to work on living a life that most people would want to live, but deep down inside I'm still like 10 years old emotionally, just wanting a hug or a head pat from a woman, and I realize a huge portion of men and women probably can't relate to that, but that's me. I mean yeah I'd like to have sex but to me that's pretty unimportant compared to being in a relationship where I think the other person actually cares about me.

You'd be surprised how many people (both sexes) are in the same situation.

I'm 36 and have had my fair share of relationships. A lot of people trust me with their private thoughts as well. I've learned that what people are looking for is mostly companionship and emotional support. Believe me, if sex was the objective, a formal relationship would be the worst way to get it as it's directly related to desire which mostly (not completely) goes away within a few years when it's not possible to keep idealizing the partner.

There are exceptions of course but it's no wonder swinger lifestyle has grown so popular in the last couple of decades.

I also believe it's a mistake to make life's objective having a partner and building a family. The objective is to be happy and it just so happens that a lot of people mix those two.

 

[SpartanN92]

Have you ever tried not being ugly?

 

[nush]

but deep down inside I'm still like 10 years old emotionally, just wanting a hug or a head pat from a woman, and I realize a huge portion of men and women probably can't relate to that, but that's me. I mean yeah I'd like to have sex but to me that's pretty unimportant compared to being in a relationship where I think the other person actually cares about me.

Like women haven't heard this one before. No woman wants an adult baby, they want a grown up who can take care of shit. If you really just want hugs then hug services exist out there.