Eh, i know you think there's no good to be found in this but there is. 1.5 years is a long time and 2 weeks after a 6 month relationship I was still upset. The thing is stuff doesn't stay the same. Things change. It's not something to frown upon. There's about a billion elements to your life and each one is constantly changing. Everything while it happens feels like it will never end. A wait for a driver's license, dating some girl, being lonely. But eventually it does. The day comes for what you've waited, your relationship dissappears, you find someone new. It could be depressing to think sometimes but I realize it's for the better.
I think about my ex now and the empty feeling she used to fill but somehow I still smile because I realize this will eventually end and I'll even look back on now and smile at the simplicity. You keep fond memories of the past but realize that this moment today is just as important because it's going to go away. You should know that the jealousy and burning you get from hearing this will be replaced by something new. You don't even need to question if it will ever come, it's inevitable. It's a feeling, not a description and comparison to what you had. I thought for the longest time that this one girl will never be topped and if it is or isnt doesnt really matter. Things are just different and realizing that your life is going to change everyday for the better in some aspects make it easy to swallow the last thing.
Something like a girl really blinds you the greatness of everyday's little things because you hold on so strong when like i said its inevitable. Though then again you keep that in mind and who knows, you stumble upon something that will never leave you. Take relationships for the good they are and they can never upset you. Go into new ones open minded and looking to just smile everday. Stuff like this passes.
Oh, and yeah, girls are bitches.
Let's see the things my ex told me after we broke up. Well, we broke up and became friends with benefits bad that was the stupidest thing I could do. She'd constantly tell me about hot guys. Said one guy in gym class is one of the top 5 hottest guys she'd ever seen in person. Then she even got real interested in this one guy, all the time making out with me often, but wanting to get with him. She'd tell me "oh, i dont want a relationship, I just want him". She cried about him not being interested to me. Finally I'm the one who had her make the first move with him. I told her to write a note and what to write. Ended up he had a gf he loved very much.
Then there was me getting upset about her showing like 5-6 guys her tits at a party. From the top view she pulled her bra down and showed the nips to whoever wanted to see em. I wasn't even there and don't hang out with her friends. She even let a guy she just met that night to cup a feel cause he looked cute. It made me feel gross being that the girl i thought I loved was this. She says its her body and was though she doesnt say it she's trying to be wild and exciting while I was disgusted. Just felt she was worth more than that and the things I did for her to become what we were ammounted up to more than cheap fun. I thought it was more than that but the fondness of the fun and memories we had i realized are the most important thing. The sexual stuff was just an element to my life then.
But to continue with details she goes back to doing stuff with me but never committing again. Then supposedly she starts kissing this other guy she told me about about while she still had been making out with me. Never got more sexual than making out as she was torn. Eventually he started doing the same thing to her. Making out with multiple girls and her also. She got pissed and she gives up on him. Thing was while she halted sexual stuff with me, he fingered her and when I asked that night what happened she lied. All came out though after she got pissed at him. That made me feel better. Funny thing is I helped her say "I love you" again for the first time since when we dated, because she was scared to say it again but really did love this new guy she's been with 3 months now. So through all that I rest real easy with everything. She wasn't meant for more than what she was those 6 months and Im fine with that. It's the details and the mess they make that kills you. Gotta ignore that because its just not important. I had fun the time we were together and that is important and the fact that I could laugh the things she does now compared to when I was too involved
