dlbeast
Member
To be quite honest, I don't really know how I managed, but I managed for her.
I was in university when she got diagnosed. She was in the hospital a lot and I wasn't sure how long she really had. The doctors were pretty much telling her to prepare for the worst about 2 years into it... so I tried to spend as much time with her as I could. I ended up not finishing my degree and just started building websites and doing online marketing from my laptop to get by (I still do that do this day, 11 years later).
The weird feeling in the gut doesn't really go away unfortunately. I mean there were times when she was in remission and things were going well and it was a little bit easier, but the next blood test or whatever was always looming around the corner so it was always in the back of my mind. Anytime we got bad news or even just a test that was a little bit off, the paralysis of it all would set in. You just learn, over time, to deal I guess. I knew that whatever I was going through was nowhere near what she was, so I just forced myself to just keep going.
This feels close, except we have 5 kids. Oldest is 27, and our youngest is 10. I cant not work, cause she can't work. Reading your comments, give me some guidance, basically in many ways, i see similarities. The gut thing is the worst, and you can only compartmentalize so much before you start to think your crazy.