not grumpy just full of negativity
There is an episode in Escaflowne that presents a point I find to be fitting for this moment.
Allen and Hitomi stand alone together, watching Van practice from a distance. Allen recalls a critical moment of his past to Hitomi. During this flashback, Allen is seen to be sparring (or doing battle with), his mentor Balgus. Allen is struck down and defeated on the floor. He wonders intensely why he can't win. Was it his technique? Was his blade not sharp enough? Balgus stands over him, and in a moment of obscene clarity, he drops the illest, most sagest, life-altering, bomb-ass advice right on Allen's unsuspecting little head. "It is not your sword which must be honed, but yourself." he says. This is an answer which not only takes time and life experience to fully understand - it also takes failure, humility, and maturing. Allen lost, not because he was a poor swordsman, but because he did not respect himself - in the same sense that he did not fully understand himself either. As Allen continues to recollect somberly to Hitomi, he says "In truth, mastering the sword means mastering one's self." ...this of course, applies to other disciplines as well. You will never become a better artist until you become a better person, Uchip. Think about this, and let it soak into your head... like the cum stains which have soaked into my ex-girlfriend's favorite sweater. But fear not... for you were meant to ascend. If you wish to hone yourself then cast aside your doubt, for only you can break free of the cynical shackles of negativity! Now... rise, my son.