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[Matlock]

I’m a guy,
So I can’t lie
The plan is penetrate
Like Jordan, go to the hole
Until she decides to defenestrate…
Me. I see the glass explode, hit the ground, do a roll.

I’m society’s ill,
Straight outta Benny Hill

Apply denial
Look up with a smile
The world is on its knees
I have what I please

Carpe diem
Do you see ‘em?
Beauty as far as the eye can see
So relieving to me.

So I finish with a quote by Michaelangelo
God, I love being a turtle!


========================



I’ve got to whip out my pens
I’ve already confessed my sins
Ruined my poem to Karl
Fired it off with a tear and a snarl.

I hate to burst your bubble
It’s not much more than a little trouble

I could have written faster
But repetition is a bastard
I hate repetition
They should write a petition

Just like citizens screaming “obscene”
At Cleveland’s CBS Action 19
Cleve
Land of fear
Cleve

Age of hypocrisy
So I sit back, listen to Morrissey
I love Shoplifters
So much I stole his and hers
Soft bath towels
The kind that meet night owls

Then black hits my eye
And to the land of nod go I

Tomorrow…a new day

 

[Chony]

I like swedish pancakes
Waffles really suck
I often eat them at the great lakes
With the fairy robin goodfellow or rather puck

 

[impirius]

My name is Matthew Bearup and I'm here to say,
I like Nintendo in a crazy way.
Super Mario Bros. is awesomely cool,
But in Mario 3 the koopas are dudically cruel.
Double Dragon is neat, but part two is better.
You need to be smart or Vanna won't turn your letter.
Dr. Wily is quick, but Mega Man is quicker,
And for a very good snack, munch on a Snickers.
Ninja Turtles are green and they love to fight,
Heroes in a half shell....All right.
Chip and Dale are small and they have buck teeth,
They have to fight Fat Cat and a dog with no leash.
Simon Belmont is brave, and he's no geek,
He has to fight Dracula, who is a freak.
The Dark Knight in black, the Joker needs bail,
He has to go fight just to save Vicki Vale.
The Simpsons are coming to Nintendo, Yo!
They'd better hurry 'cause I got to go.
Music is great to straighten out the mind,
But Nintendo is cool if you want to unwind.
So yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo Homeboy.


(I may not have written this)

 

[Virgin Wii]

Fanboys fanboys fanboys
writhing, crying, conspiring in their seats
'cause Halo 2 did not exceed
the expectations of the Xbox geeks

They insist that such a shoddy work
can never be a classic
what happened to the missions on Earth?
I wasn't expecting this other shit to happen

But in the end it's sad to say
a fanboy's life is defined by rage, day after day
towards companies not graced with his favor
and masturbation to net pr0n is the only sex he'll ever savor

 

[cvxfreak]

What's the capital of Afghanistan?
Pakistan!
Said Stan.
Clearly without a Plan.
Voted Against Gay Marriage Ban.
Drinks coke from a can.
This poem is teh suXXorS man.

Note the first two sentences are from a real life example.

 

[Miguel]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Weinstein and Schwartz
Are names of accountants.

 

[Dilbert]

<SIGH> I'm still waiting for some real poetry to be written in one of these threads.

 

[bishoptl]

You kidding?

I wrote some excellent goth-style poetry in one of these threads over a year ago and have yet to live it down. Never again will I share my muse with you Neanderthals.

 

[iapetus]

Can't write poetry. I need prose, damn it. I'm still 23,000 words short of a novel, and only a week and a half to finish in. Heck, even these words are taking away from my total count...

And once that's done I'm back onto song lyric duty (which you might argue is kind of like poetry). Got to finish these off:

I don't want to be a supermodel
I don't want to be a rock star
Ain't no mileage in complaining
Got to be happy with who you are
Yeah!

I don't want to drive a high-end sports car
I don't want to win the lottery
I ain't got no time for daydreaming
What I've got is enough for me
Yeah!

Keep on believing the same old comfortable lies...
Keep on believing the same old comfortable lies...

 

[SD-Ness]

.

at the end of fall
by Michael A. O'Brien
October 27, 2004
#34

the end of fall
before winter begins
when the cool starts to wake
and blow and lick and smack
is when thoughts of suicide disappear

like when the first icicles
grow while it’s still warm

this chaotic cusp
unlike summer and
and fall colliding
causes paranoia to freeze

no longer busy with work
or wanting to look proper
we heed nature’s rule

thoughts of murder
and thoughts of doom
slowly recede into the cells
of our minds

leaving us soporific
ready to hibernate and forget
the pace of life’s brisk sweep

until once again we spring to move


Maple
by Michael A. O'Brien
September 7, 2004
#22

Were you sad, Maple Tree,
When Mother Nature cast her back on you?

Once from your branches,
Hung ropes of knotted ivy.

Your thick trunk towering,
Above all other life on our lawn.

Only half a tree you were,
Rusty nails protruding from your scarred back.

You became a haven to the lost,
As we naively place fledglings in your care.

But then came that dreadful day,
Mother looked away, the storms full force on you.

You fell to the ground,
Losing a tree’s standing pride.

Crippled and broken you sojourned,
On the earth from which you had grown.

Now you lay – a pile of ashes,
Lasting, but only in attrition.

The sun’s rays, your tormentors,
Drying till parched; furthering your physical stay.

The rain’s torrents, your saviors,
Washing away deeds; your nexus to heaven.

 

[MrPing1000]

I'm sitting here thinking of a poem for gaf
Preferably one that will make them laugh
I'm not doing very well, I think I'll quit
Cause to be honest they all smell of shit

 

[MrPing1000]

It's time to have a second go
But this time I'm going to take it slow
Not going to rush to get it done
Taking longer is so much fun
So I'll sit and ponder every word
Even some no one has ever heard
Until the time I think its great
Ohh how I know GAF can't wait
To hear the words of my ramble
All at once they will gamble
That no other poem could be any greater
I guess they'll find out later
If I have past the test
But of course I know I am and always will be the best

 

[MrPing1000]

MAF how GAF loves you so
At every occassion we wish to show
How great we all think you are
Of all the freaks you are the star
T-shirts we've made to celebrate your face
You are the apitamy of the human race
So as you lounge in your chair
Just remember how much we care

 

[MrPing1000]

I really must be getting done
Its already far after one
So I'll finish up with some more ranting
All this poetry has left me panting
Goodnight gaf I will see thee when I rise
But you all must know I am full of lies