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[Elder Legend]

So dear Gaf tell us of some of your most awkard sex stories that happend to you within the last year or so.

I'll share to kick things off and break the ice. For your info I reside in South Florida so majority of the women here are Cuban, Puerto Rican, Dominican and so on. And I like it that way.

Had sex with this 1 hot Cuban chick. This was our first time together, I hit it from the back and then start seeing quite a bit of a red puddle on the white sheets. I freaked out a bit in my head but kept a straight face and asked her if she was okay.

She turned around and looked over, her face got super red and she started to freak out and then apologizing. She then said proceeded to tell me that I must be super turned off now. I remained respectful with a surprise pickchu face while she looked away. We both moved on and finished to a happy end.

Ok 2nd story

Hot Columbian chick. Massive beautiful ass. One of those girls who put on a tight dress will instantly drive you nuts thanks to her bum. I am an ass man, the issue with this one was that stuffing my face down below was NOT a good idea. A) She either got out of a gym and didn't shower.

Or B) something else was happening, but the smell was sweat and heat. Couldn't do it from the back, too smelly and I almost started gaging. Had to opt for a different position. Saw her 3 times. 1 time it happened, 2nd time it didn't and 3rd time it happend again. If there is a 4th time I suggested to her we both start with getting in a shower and told her it was always a fantasy of mine (so I could play it off without confronting her directly about it) she willingly agreed. Gaf wish me luck please.

Your turn!

 

[Grildon Tundy]

In my teen years, my gf and I decided we wanted to play around with lube. It was spur-of-the-moment, and neither of us was especially wisened, so we grabbed the blueberry-scented hand lotion on her nightstand and used that. The relationship ended years later and not on the best of terms, but nobody deserves a urinary tract infection, and for that: I'm sorry Rebecca.

 

[AlteredForms]

I hit it from the back and then start seeing quite a bit of a red puddle on the white sheets.

 

[Elder Legend]

It wasnt anal. It was doggy style lol.

 

[OmegaSupreme]

I got farted on while going down on my girlfriend not long ago. Wasn't a small toot either. I felt the wind.

 

[Elder Legend]

I got farted on while going down on my girlfriend not long ago. Wasn't a small toot either. I felt the wind.

What happend afterwards? Did it smell like roses ?

 

[Grildon Tundy]

I got farted on while going down on my girlfriend not long ago. Wasn't a small toot either. I felt the wind.

 

[AlteredForms]

I got farted on while going down on my girlfriend not long ago. Wasn't a small toot either. I felt the wind.

Women need to give some warning before blasting out the hot jets. Did you get queefed on or farted on though?

 

[Elder Legend]

Women need to give some warning before blasting out the hot jets. Did you get queefed on or farted on though?

I had plenty of pussy farts now that I think about it. One girl it happened with the first she said was "it's not what you think it is"

 

[OmegaSupreme]

Women need to give some warning before blasting out the hot jets. Did you get queefed on or farted on though?

This was a fart. Full on ass blast.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

Oh boy I had a recent one

I went to a bar, and this hot Latina chick started chatting me up. We hit it off and we go to her place which is within walking distance. When we get to her place she starts snorting the cocaine line on her table and after that she starts smoking from her Crack pipe. We ended up having sex but than while I'm fucking her, a huge black guy came into the room. He was like don't worry man just watching. He just sat there watching with his dick out and wacking off to us fucking. The sex lasted about 30 mins and after that I put on my clothes and was gone. Never again. I was on my guard the whole time. I checked to see if anything was stolen and nothing was stolen

 

[Roufianos]

I met this slut for a hook up off Tinder. We had a few beers and I couldn't get it up for an hour or so. That was embarrassing enough but little did I know that I'd left a few skid marks on the bed hehehehe.

 

[Elder Legend]

This was a fart. Full on ass blast.

How did the conversation and sex proceeded on after this ?

 

[OmegaSupreme]

How did the conversation and sex proceeded on after this ?

Very apologetic with some laughter. Still hit it.

 

[DeafTourette]

So dear Gaf tell us of some of your most awkard sex stories that happend to you within the last year or so.

I'll share to kick things off and break the ice. For your info I reside in South Florida so majority of the women here are Cuban, Puerto Rican, Dominican and so on. And I like it that way.

Had sex with this 1 hot Cuban chick. This was our first time together, I hit it from the back and then start seeing quite a bit of a red puddle on the white sheets. I freaked out a bit in my head but kept a straight face and asked her if she was okay.

She turned around and looked over, her face got super red and she started to freak out and then apologizing. She then said proceeded to tell me that I must be super turned off now. I remained respectful with a surprise pickchu face while she looked away. We both moved on and finished to a happy end.

Ok 2nd story

Hot Columbian chick. Massive beautiful ass. One of those girls who put on a tight dress will instantly drive you nuts thanks to her bum. I am an ass man, the issue with this one was that stuffing my face down below was NOT a good idea. A) She either got out of a gym and didn't shower.

Or B) something else was happening, but the smell was sweat and heat. Couldn't do it from the back, too smelly and I almost started gaging. Had to opt for a different position. Saw her 3 times. 1 time it happened, 2nd time it didn't and 3rd time it happend again. If there is a 4th time I suggested to her we both start with getting in a shower and told her it was always a fantasy of mine (so I could play it off without confronting her directly about it) she willingly agreed. Gaf wish me luck please.

Your turn!

 

[AlteredForms]

I had plenty of pussy farts now that I think about it. One girl it happened with the first she said was "it's not what you think it is"

Did you suck them out? If not I'm disappointed.

a huge black guy came into the room.

That sounds like something out of a horror movie. Some chick acts as bait to lure men to her home to knock them out and harvest their organs. How tall was the black dude, could you have taken him?

 

[OmegaSupreme]

Oh boy I had a recent one

I went to a bar, and this hot Latina chick started chatting me up. We hit it off and we go to her place which is within walking distance. When we get to her place she starts snorting the cocaine line on her table and after that she starts smoking from her Crack pipe. We ended up having sex but than while I'm fucking her, a huge black guy came into the room. He was like don't worry man just watching. He just sat there watching with his dick out and wacking off to us fucking. The sex lasted about 30 mins and after that I put on my clothes and was gone. Never again. I was on my guard the whole time. I checked to see if anything was stolen and nothing was stolen

Did he finish?

 

[The Pleasure]

I got farted on while going down on my girlfriend not long ago. Wasn't a small toot either. I felt the wind.

Some say love is like a river
It flows out white and hot
Some say love is when her asshole
Once a month. Becomes a twat
Well i say love is when you're licking her
And her fart fills up your nose
And You breathe in deep and tell her
That her ass, smells like a rose.

 

[StabbyStabStabStabStab]

This was a fart. Full on ass blast.

You get the James Joyce seal of approval

 

[IDKFA]

I was once with a crazy girl who was obsessed with motorboating my nuts. The problem was, I really wasn't into it at all. Didn't do anything for me.

The breaking point came when I was in the shower one day. She came in while I was washing. Didn't say a fucking word. Starting motorboating my nuts for a few seconds and then walked out again. It was like she was a fucking junkie who needed to get her fix.

I knew then that I needed to get out of this relationship. It started off as strange and ended up with me worrying for my safety. I was really concerned the next level was chewing my balls off.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

That sounds like something out of a horror movie. Some chick acts as bait to lure men to her home to knock them out and harvest their organs. How tall was the black dude, could you have taken him?

The guy was her boyfriend who liked watching his girlfriend fuck dudes. No I couldn't have taken him on, he was tall and very muscular. I was very wary though

Did he finish?

Yeah right after I came lol

 

[Elder Legend]

The guy was her boyfriend who liked watching his girlfriend fuck dudes. No I couldn't have taken him on, he was tall and very muscular



Yeah right after I came lol

This is why you carry a concealed carry.

 

[The Pleasure]

I got farted on while going down on my girlfriend not long ago. Wasn't a small toot either. I felt the wind.

Round two

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

This is why you carry a concealed carry.

I carry a knife when I'm in a situation like that

The guy just told me to carry on and that he doesn't mind

 

[Elder Legend]

I was once with a crazy girl who was obsessed with motorboating my nuts. The problem was, I really wasn't into it at all. Didn't do anything for me.

The breaking point came when I was in the shower one day. She came in while I was washing. Didn't say a fucking word. Starting motorboating my nuts for a few seconds and then walked out again. It was like she was a fucking junkie who needed to get her fix.

I knew then that I needed to get out of this relationship. It started off as strange and ended up with me worrying for my safety. I was really concerned the next level was chewing my balls off.

What did you tell her when you wanted to break up? Sorry baby, my nuts are more important than you?

 

[AlteredForms]

The guy was her boyfriend who liked watching his girlfriend fuck dudes. No I couldn't have taken him on, he was tall and very muscular. I was very wary though

I carry a knife when I'm in a situation like that

The guy just told me to carry on and that he doesn't mind

You were banging his partner and he wasn't bothered? I can't understand the mind-set of people like that. From what you've told us he could have easily crippled your ass, good thing he was a weirdo who likes to watch.

 

[IDKFA]

What did you tell her when you wanted to break up? Sorry baby, my nuts are more important than you?

I told her that I found somebody else. That I didn't love her and it's best we move on. She was actually cool with it, which is good because I was worried that she'd go nuts and stab me.

 

[AlteredForms]

she'd go nuts

 

[Trunx81]

Son came in. “Mom are you ok? You’re making so strange noises.”

Told him we were just recreating a scene from King Kong, which was smth I told him the same day (he’s into Kaijus). He bought it.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

You were banging his partner and he wasn't bothered? I can't understand the mind-set of people like that. From what you've told us he could have easily crippled your ass, good thing he was a weirdo who likes to watch.

Yeah I agree there. It seems cucks come in all shapes and sizes lol. I was really respectful towards him and his girl. But yeah I tend to avoid that area whenever I'm in the city nowadays

 

[Fuz]

First time anal with some girl I went out with years ago. Funny and all, but when I unsheated it, the condom was brown. The worst thing was the smell. Oh boy that smell. I had uncorked hell.
I had to shower 4 times to remove that lingering idea of smell from my nostrils.

15 years ago or so I used to see this girl, she lived with a roommate. We were up in our business when the door opened, she came in, "Forgot my phone here, sorry, don't mind me, keep going".

 

[mansoor1980]

Oh boy I had a recent one

I went to a bar, and this hot Latina chick started chatting me up. We hit it off and we go to her place which is within walking distance. When we get to her place she starts snorting the cocaine line on her table and after that she starts smoking from her Crack pipe. We ended up having sex but than while I'm fucking her, a huge black guy came into the room. He was like don't worry man just watching. He just sat there watching with his dick out and wacking off to us fucking. The sex lasted about 30 mins and after that I put on my clothes and was gone. Never again. I was on my guard the whole time. I checked to see if anything was stolen and nothing was stolen

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

The situation was dangerous but the sex was some of the best I ever had. But yeah could have been stabbed and robbed but thankfully didn't happen

 

[John Marston]

Within the last year I got nothing but here's one where sex was the intent however nothing happened.

Back in 1988 when I was 20 I was working in a record store with a bunch of friends and we had parties every 2 days or so.

Parties where we wouldn't sleep and show up for work the next day shitfaced, wearing sunglasses inside with the same clothes.

Anyway on a tuesday night Felicia, who was a really hot Goth chick working in the Jazz section before goth was a thing (I think) was having a party.

We were always friendly but nothing more.

We had some good conversations and some harmless flirting and that's it.

Now it's 3:20 AM, most of the 40 or so guests have left, there's a couple of our colleagues passed out sleeping on the floor. You get the picture. Calm after the Storm.

I tell Felicia I better go now if I wanna sleep maybe 3 hours and get to work right after.

She says "Oh it's ok why bother you can sleep in my bed."
I reply "Yeah but where are YOU gonna sleep?? I can't do this to you I'll just get a cab and go home."

Fast forward 2 years later as I'm walking downtown and all of a sudden I just yell "FUUUUCK!!!!" on the sidewalk.

Still makes me smile while shaking my head to this day.

 

[Bartski]

here is a cool story:

I was in this long-distance relationship and every time we met she was on a period. She had this condition where she'd just get periods way more often, and very VERY heavy ones.
Being the gentleman that I am I kinda got used to it and as limiting and distracting as it can be we usually did it anyway.

She also had this weird fucked up fetish for getting really violent in bed. Not really my thing but whatever, when a lady wishes I need to deliver, I really loved her. So we were getting quite beat up and bruised every time and it was often really loud.

One day we were in this totally empty hostel, making sweet gory love in the moonlight for the third time that night, just trashing the place while she is screaming like a butchered pig.

So we're barely done and chilling and someone starts banging at the door. "this is security!".
"just a moment", I put the light up and I'm literally covered in blood. There is blood everywhere, sheets, bed, floor, blood prints on the wall...

We smashed a vase by accident and a bottle somewhere in between. It was loud.

"Is there someone fighting inside, I know someone was fighting, there is a lady there is she ok, come to the door at once"

Unfortunately, part of the kink, the role-play she was into was also "resisting". So when she was yelling there was a lot of "NO NOOOOO, PLEASE DON'T!!!" going on... Clearly, someone must have literally called for help thinking there is a fight/murder/rape happening.

So there we were, both pretty banged up, with scratches, and bite marks, I had a bruised cheek after she clocked me in the heat of the moment... I know it sounds weird AF but she liked to beat me up "in self defense", which was part of the act. Like I said I loved her so I played along and learned to enjoy it as messed up as it may sound.

I knew the only way out of this is for her to talk us out of it. So I'm like "baby you have to do this", and she's all covered in blood so she's like "I'm ok sir!!! just a minute!" and ran to the bathroom showered it all down, wrapped herself up in the biggest towel there, opened the door and explained that I'm her boyfriend, we just accidentally smashed a bottle and everything is fine and I'm listening there terrified hoping they don't come in or they'll see the blood I knew if they do they're 100% calling the cops. Worst of all, she was half my age who the fuck would have believed me. The security guy wasn't buying it at first it seemed but eventually, he just left.

We then made our best to clean the place up and escaped early before breakfast leaving blood on the bed and wall, all stressed up that they will call the cops looking for me as I booked the room. They didn't.

We broke up shortly after.

 

[Elder Legend]

here is a cool story:

I was in this long-distance relationship and every time we met she was on a period. She had this condition where she'd just get periods way more often, and very VERY heavy ones.
Being the gentleman that I am I kinda got used to it and as limiting and distracting as it can be we usually did it anyway.

She also had this weird fucked up fetish for getting really violent in bed. Not really my thing but whatever, when a lady wishes I need to deliver, I really loved her. So we were getting quite beat up and bruised every time and it was often really loud.

One day we were in this totally empty hostel, making sweet gory love in the moonlight for the third time that night, just trashing the place while she is screaming like a butchered pig.

So we're barely done and chilling and someone starts banging at the door. "this is security!".
"just a moment", I put the light up and I'm literally covered in blood. There is blood everywhere, sheets, bed, floor, blood prints on the wall...

We smashed a vase by accident and a bottle somewhere in between. It was loud.

"Is there someone fighting inside, I know someone was fighting, there is a lady there is she ok, come to the door at once"

Unfortunately, part of the kink, the role-play she was into was also "resisting". So when she was yelling there was a lot of "NO NOOOOO, PLEASE DON'T!!!" going on... Clearly, someone must have literally called for help thinking there is a fight/murder/rape happening.

So there we were, both pretty banged up, with scratches, and bite marks, I had a bruised cheek after she clocked me in the heat of the moment... I know it sounds weird AF but she liked to beat me up "in self defense", which was part of the act. Like I said I loved her so I played along and learned to enjoy it as messed up as it may sound.

I knew the only way out of this is for her to talk us out of it. So I'm like "baby you have to do this", and she's all covered in blood so she's like "I'm ok sir!!! just a minute!" and ran to the bathroom showered it all down, wrapped herself up in the biggest towel there, opened the door and explained that I'm her boyfriend, we just accidentally smashed a bottle and everything is fine and I'm listening there terrified hoping they don't come in or they'll see the blood I knew if they do they're 100% calling the cops. Worst of all, she was half my age who the fuck would have believed me. The security guy wasn't buying it at first it seemed but eventually, he just left.

We then made our best to clean the place up and escaped early before breakfast leaving blood on the bed and wall, all stressed up that they will call the cops looking for me as I booked the room. They didn't.

We broke up shortly after.

This is typically how so called "sexual allegations/assault start to come out of nowhere later down the line. I have a simple rule - avoid crazy bitches who are into dumb shit like this. There is a good chance one day she will turn against you and use this to sue or get easy money.

 

[NoLootBoxDev]

Within the last year I got nothing but here's one where sex was the intent however nothing happened.

Back in 1988 when I was 20 I was working in a record store with a bunch of friends and we had parties every 2 days or so.

Parties where we wouldn't sleep and show up for work the next day shitfaced, wearing sunglasses inside with the same clothes.

Anyway on a tuesday night Felicia, who was a really hot Goth chick working in the Jazz section before goth was a thing (I think) was having a party.

We were always friendly but nothing more.

We had some good conversations and some harmless flirting and that's it.

Now it's 3:20 AM, most of the 40 or so guests have left, there's a couple of our colleagues passed out sleeping on the floor. You get the picture. Calm after the Storm.

I tell Felicia I better go now if I wanna sleep maybe 3 hours and get to work right after.

She says "Oh it's ok why bother you can sleep in my bed."
I reply "Yeah but where are YOU gonna sleep?? I can't do this to you I'll just get a cab and go home."

Fast forward 2 years later as I'm walking downtown and all of a sudden I just yell "FUUUUCK!!!!" on the sidewalk.

Still makes me smile while shaking my head to this day.

 

[p_xavier]

It won't be easy
You think it's strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your love
After all that I've done
...
Don't cry for me diarrhea
The truth is
I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance

 

[chromhound]

I met this slut for a hook up off Tinder. We had a few beers and I couldn't get it up for an hour or so. That was embarrassing enough but little did I know that I'd left a few skid marks on the bed hehehehe.

 

[chromhound]

You were banging his partner and he wasn't bothered? I can't understand the mind-set of people like that. From what you've told us he could have easily crippled your ass, good thing he was a weirdo who likes to watch.

He could have fucked both of y'all...

 

[Big Baller]

 

[Big Baller]

Oh boy I had a recent one

I went to a bar, and this hot Latina chick started chatting me up. We hit it off and we go to her place which is within walking distance. When we get to her place she starts snorting the cocaine line on her table and after that she starts smoking from her Crack pipe. We ended up having sex but than while I'm fucking her, a huge black guy came into the room. He was like don't worry man just watching. He just sat there watching with his dick out and wacking off to us fucking. The sex lasted about 30 mins and after that I put on my clothes and was gone. Never again. I was on my guard the whole time. I checked to see if anything was stolen and nothing was stolen

 

[chromhound]

My most disgusting moment: fucked two different raw girls the same day. Didn't have time to wash my dick.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

It was like this but he had no blanket on and was completely naked. The lights were on

 

[IDKFA]

Disagree with this.

Blood sport is a fine art. Sex is just so much better when it's that time of the month.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

Disagree with this.

Blood sport is a fine art. Sex is just so much better when it's that time of the month.

But the smell
Man
The Smell

The site of period Blood doesn't bother me but sometimes the smell is just rancid

 

[chromhound]

Disagree with this.

Blood sport is a fine art. Sex is just so much better when it's that time of the month.

But the smell...

 

[AlteredForms]

We broke up shortly after.

He could have fucked both of y'all...

If that happened to me then I would be straight out the window. Wouldn't even care if it was butt naked.

It was like this but he had no blanket on and was completely naked. The lights were on

You mean like this?

Disagree with this.

Blood sport is a fine art. Sex is just so much better when it's that time of the month.

Bartski shared a post above as to how blood sports can get you in trouble.

 

[NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt]

If that happened to me then I would be straight out the window. Wouldn't even care if it was butt naked.

You mean like this?

It was similar. I'm guessing once she was done with me and I left, that he probably fucked her brains out lol

 

[niilokin]

when I was younger I got home drunk from bar with a woman and while fucking her from behind i got a terrible nose bleed but didnt stop fucking and she didnt care