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[genjiZERO]

How am I cherry picking? I'm saying this is one of the definitions, and this definition is not inherently anything to do with race.

Therefore we know the word can be used without issues of race being involved, and it can also be used sensitively to compliment a person.

Earlier in the thread I brought up examples of personally knowing people who would find this word a compliment, some people actually like to be called "unusual" in this way.

-

Also, you didn't respond to the difference between "doesn't belong" and "you don't belong". "You don't belong" in the way you were using it is nowhere in any of the definitions, it has nothing to do with the technical definition of the word.

"You don't belong" is a result of a specific usage of the word. Just because it has potential to be misused or to be offensive doesn't mean it always will be.

'Exotic' as a compliment is not inherently bad.

You cherry picked because 3 of the 4 definitions list something fairly different as their second meaning. Furthermore, you're ignoring that "foreign" is still the principal meaning. And not only that, notice that not a single one of the definitions use a human in an example of the use.

I actually have no idea what you mean on the second point. My sentences were both grammatically correct and illustrate that both "you don't belong" and "not belonging" can mean the same thing.

True it's not, but FOREIGN is, and "not belonging" is implied in the meaning of foreign. If person A is foreign it is implied that they belong in another country.

Again, I know there's lots of people who don't mind it. But as me, Liu Kang Baking A Pie, Jassong, Ishibear, Backslashbunny, etc have been saying over and over is that there are a lot of people - especially Asians and Africans - who do not.

When you say "exotic" you mean "mysteriously attractive". But when I hear foreign it means to me "foreigner".

So since the word can legitimately be used to be condescending, and since there are some people on here who are very vocal about their firsthand experience of not liking the term maybe you shouldn't use it. Or at a minimum you should try to understand why they don't like it.

Because at the end of the day, you won't lose a potential friend for not using it, but you might if you do.

 

[PK Strawstorm]

Well then it's nice that the woman in the video makes reference to multiple cases wherein offense was taken to the usage of the word, including listeners of her show who have written to her in support of her opinion with their own experiences.

That way it becomes clear that this is not one person being offended, but instead one person being vocal about something that offends many other persons.

A lot of people take offense at a lot of things. That does not necessarily mean that it is something they should be taking offense at on an individual level, or that it is something that is problematic on a wider level as a pressing social concern. I think the better posts in this thread are trying to get to the heart of whether this issue - beyond its existence - has any substantive weight to it. Public support does not validate opinions. It validates feelings, but feelings do not good policy make.

 

[Two Words]

If you want to be that pedantic then sure, but surely you can see the difference there?

This is why context and tone and tact and everything else is so important, because language is this nuanced.

It actually does matter though. A lot of white people that live here have history from Europe just a couple of generations ago. Why do they suddenly belong in America, but other more recent immigrants can't claim the same thing?

 

[Nephtis]

Well then it's nice that the woman in the video makes reference to multiple cases wherein offense was taken to the usage of the word, including listeners of her show who have written to her in support of her opinion with their own experiences.

That way it becomes clear that this is not one person being offended, but instead one person being vocal about something that offends many other persons.

She has a fan base and that base will support and agree with whatever she says. It's what a fan base does. Plus there will always be people looking for things to offend them and this may sound like a convenient excuse.

Still doesn't make the word offensive just because some people do. I can easily say that the statement that my intentions don't matter is offensive it really is just a stupid statement and not necessarily an offensive one.

It's your prerogative to feel annoyed and there is nothing wrong with that. But don't go labeling a word as offensive when it's really not. Instead just say how some people may feel annoyed at that word because it's weird and stupid. Using the label offensive puts undue stigma on the word.

 

[Zoe]

The concept of race. Because there is no such thing as different human races. This shit was invented by racists. That whole concept is extremely offensive and I'm not alone being offended by how casually Americans use that term. Still, I don't believe that you guys would stop using it just because I'm offended. Same with the notion that whites can't face racism. That might me true for Americans but it's super offensive to millions of white people in Europe who face racism every day no matter what color their skin is.
People in this thread said that you should stop using words that might offend someone and that's why asked.

edit
Oh and yeah, asking about ethnicity and culture is absolutely ok in my book.

There is a difference in how the US government defines race and ethnicity. For ethnicity you are either Hispanic/Latino or not. The only other way to identify yourself is to use race, and you would upset many groups who are proud of their race if you try to take that away.

 

[jasonng]

im non white and have used it even within my own racial sphere. I never meant it to say " you don't belong", it's often used to point out a feature rarely seen, but of immense allure, beauty.

i feel a lot of posters are looking at it from the situation of a white guy saying it to a non-white....again and again and again

That's probably because that's what commonly occurs to those who gets called exotic a lot and these people speak through experience, myself included. That doesn't dismiss your use of the word rather it explains why the word takes a different connotation.

However, I did post an example much earlier in the thread about how an Asian guy called my Italian coworker exotic and how off putting it was.

 

[kamorra]

There is a difference in how the US government defines race and ethnicity. For ethnicity you are either Hispanic/Latino or not. The only other way to identify yourself is to use race, and you would upset many groups who are proud of their race if you try to take that away.

That's ok. I certainly don't have the desire to change how you people use that term. Point was that several people in this thread said nothing could be easier than not using terms that might offend someone. I ask them if they know that race is a word that's offending to a whole lot of people and if they stop using it now. In using it you also upset many other people who still see human race as a invention of the Nazis.
I know you guys like it US centric but GAF is an international forum.

 

[Ties]

That's ok. I certainly don't have the desire to change how you people use that term. Point was that several people in this thread said nothing could be easier than not using terms that might offend someone. I ask them if they know that race is a word that's offending to a whole lot of people and if they stop using it now.
I know you guys like it US centric but GAF is an international forum.

What would you call someone Black, Asian, or Latino in Europe?

 

[kamorra]

What would you call someone Black, Asian, or Latino in Europe?

If you want to reduce him to where he's from you would maybe call him by his Ethnicity. Like that Egyptian or that chinese person.

 

[Ovid]

I think Adriana Lima is exotic looking.

I can also see how saying Lupita Nyong'o looks exotic could be taken the wrong way.

 

[Zakalwe]

You cherry picked because 3 of the 4 definitions list something fairly different as their second meaning. Furthermore, you're ignoring that "foreign" is still the principal meaning.

I didn't ignore it. I didn't cherry pick.

I highlighted the fact that a definition exists that has nothing to do with race, that is not inherently malicious in any way.

That's not cherry picking, that's showing basis for my argument that the word isn't always used to denote something foreign in terms of race.

Let's use your own argument against you: just because the primary meaning exists doesn't mean one I showed doesn't exist.

And not only that, notice that not a single one of the definitions use a human in an example of the use.

Not all adjectives reference humans will in their dictionary definitions, but that doesn't mean they're not suitable to describe humans.

I know people who would definitely like being called exotic. People in this thread has attested to the same, or even said they would themselves. Therefore the use to describe humans can be positive, why are you ignoring that?

I actually have no idea what you mean on the second point. My sentences were both grammatically correct and illustrate that both "you don't belong" and "not belonging" can mean the same thing.

No.

"you don't belong" in the way you're referencing the use is malicious.

Exotic does not, in any way, mean "you don't belong" in the way you're re fencing it.

The way you're referencing it means "not welcome".

The pure technical definition of the word is making an objective statement. "Doesn't belong" doesn't mean "not welcome".

There is a massive difference.

And this is why tact is important because language is this nuanced and can be misconstrued in so many ways.

True it's not, but FOREIGN is, and "not belonging" is implied in the meaning of foreign. If person A is foreign it is implied that they belong in another country.

Again, "belong" here is simply an objective reference to place of origin and where they are now. It's saying the person belongs to a specific group, and outside of that group they are different.

Like my lego brick belongs with the other lego bricks and not the duplo.

There is nothing wrong with any of that.

None of that implies "not welcome".

My lego brick is more than welcome to mingle with the duplo, it can move in with the duplo if it wants, it can even fit neatly together with some duplo blocks. It will always technically belong with the lego bricks, though.

Again, I know there's lots of people who don't mind it. But as me, Liu Kang Baking A Pie, Jassong, Ishibear, Backslashbunny, etc have been saying over and over is that there are a lot of people - especially Asians and Africans - who do not.

When you say "exotic" you mean "mysteriously attractive". But when I hear foreign it means to me "foreigner".

So since the word can legitimately be used to be condescending, and since there are some people on here who are very vocal about their first hand experience of not liking the term maybe you shouldn't use it. Or at a minimum you should try to understand why they don't like it.

Because at the end of the day, you won't lose a potential friend for not using it, but you might if you do.

And, again, this is why tact is important. Just because people could take offence at the word being used as a compliment doesn't mean it should never be used as a compliment. yes, some people do find it offensive, many people don't and appreciate it as a compliment when it's directed at them.

Which simply means people should be mindful of their language.

I could take my knife and stab my neighbour or I could just use it to slice bread. Knives won't be banned just because they could be used to stab a person.

It actually does matter though. A lot of white people that live here have history from Europe just a couple of generations ago. Why do they suddenly belong in America, but other more recent immigrants can't claim the same thing?

Different argument for another time.

 

[Zoe]

If you want to reduce him to where he's from you would maybe call him by his Ethnicity. Like that Egyptian or that chinese person.

But I'm "from" America, not Asia.

 

[kamorra]

But I'm "from" America, not Asia.

Well, I think I already established that I wouldn't call you Asian or Black.

 

[Transhuman]

The Asian woman is Asian. Why does the guy need to know any more? Why does it matter? Like someone else said, it really does feel like the guy is asking "You look different than me [American], what kind of different are you?"

Small talk for the sake of small talk? Why does anyone need to know anything. Admittedly it's not something I would ask or care about, but I don't consider it an invasive question. No more than "what accent is that" is.

 

[jasonng]

Small talk for the sake of small talk? Why does anyone need to know anything. Admittedly it's not something I would ask or care about, but I don't consider it an invasive question. No more than "what accent is that" is.

It's not invasive and having conversations about cultural differences can be stimulating. But if you start the conversation off with calling someone exotic you've already set the tone for the rest of your talk.

 

[ishibear]

To be honest, just like I'm baffled anyone would openly feel comfortable calling a stranger "exotic", I don't know how anyone could just ask someone they've just met outright, "so where are you from, what's your ethnicity, or what's that accent?".

I meet people of different backgrounds every day in college and I've only entered a conversation pertaining to something close to that once, but that was when a classmate just told me he was returning to South America next semester. He then told me he was Native American, but I didn't ask him. From there we began talking about background and never once was the word exotic uttered or anything.

I'm sorry but I'm totally dumbfounded that some people think it's normal to just ask someone about their business like that, and even have the gall to call them exotic...

Such a puzzle to me. I'm always trying to be careful about making others feel uncomfortable, so I always stay formal until someone opens the door and even then, I don't pry into people's lives. I feel there's a fine line between trying to get to know people and being intrusive.

 

[hendersonhank]

Why do you attack the woman? Why do you feel the need to attack her?

Because she's lame. "What YOU think about what you said is irrelevant. All that matters is what *I* think about it. Your intention to compliment me by using a word in a common way does not matter; all that matters is that I bring my own baggage to it and project all sorts of negativity onto you, so apologize now!"

 

[Nephtis]

I don't think people are saying the word is offensive. I think people are saying that using the word in the manner it's often used is offensive to the people it's being used on.

For example, if someone calls a normal looking Asian-American "exotic" in southern California or Los Angeles, that's offensive because there is no reason the second person is actually exotic. When that occurs, it becomes a "you don't look like an American."

I agree with you that the manner the word is used matters. Context is everything, but when people say someone is exotic, they're usually excited and curious -- because it's something they are not used to. Perhaps it's your clothes, or your accent, or maybe it's the way you do your hair, et cetera.

If I lived in a place where I don't encounter Asians, then I think it's safe to say that Asians are exotic (to me), because they're not a usual sight. It's completely fine to feel annoyed when someone calls you exotic, but really how often does this happen? It's a word that isn't commonly used, and frankly, I rather not use it because it just sounds so silly to me. It's not a bad word, and it doesn't have any negative connotation unless you explicitly make it so. Intentions do matter, unlike what the OP's gif stated.

 

[Nephtis]

Well, yeah.

Also, "we judge others by their actions, but ourselves by our intent."

He's being offensive to her. His intentions may be benign, but he said something directly to her about her, so actually, it does matter how those words made her feel.

I may tell someone they look great, like they've gained a few pounds and are looking pretty fertile, and I may actually mean it in a benign way/compliment... but it's not too hard to see why someone might not like to hear it, even if it's true. So, it's probably better just not to say anything at all if you can't say anything nice.

Something every person learns is to not talk about a woman's weight even still, it's pretty odd to say to someone that they look pretty fertile. I see what you're getting at, but what hendersonhank is taking issue with (as am I) is her stating it doesn't matter what your intent is.

It's a moronic, condescending statement, and she even uses the whole condescending gestures to bring her point across.

If she were to say "Oh hey guys, this person A said person B looked "exotic", and person B didn't like to be labeled that, because of this and this and this"

instead her whole video* came across as something completely different. It's not about educating people as to why the word may be offensive to some (even if the word, again, isn't inherently good or evil), no sir, it's all about making you feel like shit because I don't give a fuck about what you think or what your intentions were, because fuck you.

*I couldn't even get past the part where she goes all slo-mo. To quote Mr. Griffin, she really grinds my gears.

 

[jasonng]

To be honest, just like I'm baffled anyone would openly feel comfortable calling a stranger "exotic", I don't know how anyone could just ask someone they've just met outright, "so where are you from, what's your ethnicity, or what's that accent?".

I meet people of different backgrounds every day in college and I've only entered a conversation pertaining to something close to that once, but that was when a classmate just told me he was returning to South America next semester. He then told me he was Native American, but I didn't ask him. From there we began talking about background and never once was the word exotic uttered or anything.

I'm sorry but I'm totally dumbfounded that some people think it's normal to just ask someone about their business like that, and even have the gall to call them exotic...

Such a puzzle to me. I'm always trying to be careful about making others feel uncomfortable, so I always stay formal until someone opens the door and even then, I don't pry into people's lives. I feel there's a fine line between trying to get to know people and being intrusive.

Well not everyone views their background as private. It's not a common occurrence for me to talk about my ethnicity to a complete stranger but it still occurs. I don't believe it's offensive to be curious and it's not hard to be polite about it. For me, it occurs as a segue for the topic of travel or another topic the person really wants to talk about. I've never met anyone who would pry to the point I'm annoyed. It's very easy to just change the subject.

 

[ishibear]

Well not everyone views their background as private. It's not a common occurrence for me to talk about my ethnicity to a complete stranger but it still occurs. I don't believe it's offensive to be curious and it's not hard to be polite about it. For me, it occurs as a segue for the topic of travel or another topic the person really wants to talk about. I've never met anyone who would pry to the point I'm annoyed. It's very easy to just change the subject.

If you're open about it, that's different. That's you deciding to share something about yourself. But if a total stranger approaches you and asks about your background and starts throwing around the word exotic like it's the most normal thing to do, that just seems very intrusive and sketchy.

 

[SquiddyCracker]

I've never heard someone offended by this before personally.
I've used it myself to say that "hey you look/are wearing/ have the features like you are from a different country and culture." It's always been seen as a compliment...

The opposite side of the coin is "you look domestic."

You can't say anything these days! Fetishising sounds like an extreme stretch to me

Okay, when you put it like that I can see how it is offensive to some.
"you have the features of someone from a different country/culture" can come across as "you don't belong here as you look different."

 

[jasonng]

If you're open about it, that's different. That's you deciding to share something about yourself. But if a total stranger approaches you and asks about your background and starts throwing around the word exotic like it's the most normal thing to do, that just seems very intrusive and sketchy.

Well my point being that there are plenty of polite ways to approach the subject of ethnicity to a complete stranger and I've had plenty of fruitful conversations from it. We can both agree that calling someone exotic is not one of them.

 

[radios shipping overview]

Calling somebody exotic makes them an other, a stranger, even if that happens to be in a way you find attractive. It's like this person is a tropical plant or a gecko you just stumbled across in a store full of mist and heat lamps.

And to be honest, it makes you sound provincial. Why not just avoid it?

 

[Pejo]

But I don't think people are being hypersensitive about the word exotic. Even if it has other connotations, exotic means "foreign" ultimately. It's not hypersensitive to not want it implied that you're a foreigner.

I would argue that is being overly sensitive. Especially if the purpose was a compliment which you should be able to clearly tell based on tone and body language.

Also, I can't imagine hearing someone call me "exotic" and then thinking to myself: "What the hell? are they implying that i'm a foreigner? How dare they!" I get what you're saying about the literal definitions in the dictionary, but when you apply it in the real world, I doubt that would ever come up in someone's mind.

 

[Nephtis]

So, for this whole "you're exotic / where are you FROM," it's sort of the same thing, right? Even though it may not seem like it's a big deal to the person saying it, it does seem to bother enough "nonwhites," that perhaps we should just try to be a little bit more tactful. Let the other person bring up their own ethnicity. It will come up if the person wants it to come up, about themselves.

Does it though? It mostly seems to be Americans that don't like it because we tend to automatically learn towards the negative aspect of it (you're not from here / don't belong), but I don't think true foreigners feel that way. White people don't seem to be upset by it when they're in another country (some towns in Japan for example), where they're certainly treated as something exotic.

I'm originally from Mexico but I consider myself an American - when people tell me my accent is hot / exotic I take it as a compliment. If someone were to tell me Menudo is pretty exotic, I may have to agree with them especially if they've never had it before.

I think it's up to each of us to exercise caution and do our best to not offend someone. I think a better example, is that video of the DREAMer speaking to Steve King. He was informed she was a DREAMer and he condescendingly said "you're very good at English”. When you know the person is a local and you still call them exotic in that sort of context, yeah, you are more than justified in being offended by it.

 

[ishibear]

I would argue that is being overly sensitive. Especially if the purpose was a compliment which you should be able to clearly tell based on tone and body language.

Also, I can't imagine hearing someone call me "exotic" and then thinking to myself: "What the hell? are they implying that i'm a foreigner? How dare they!" I get what you're saying about the literal definitions in the dictionary, but when you apply it in the real world, I doubt that would ever come up in someone's mind.

So just shut up and take the compliment?

 

[Nephtis]

So just shut up and take the compliment?

If it is, and you recognize that it is a compliment, why not? Or you could be like "hey person, I'm actually a local. What makes you think I'm exotic?" y'know, clear things up and maybe educate the person instead of just going straight up to offendedville.

 

[ishibear]

If it is, and you recognize that it is a compliment, why not? Or you could be like "hey person, I'm actually a local. What makes you think I'm exotic?" y'know, clear things up and maybe educate the person instead of just going straight up to offendedville.

I'm under no obligation to accept any compliment, good intentions or not, I don't have to accept someone trying to force their feelings onto me. Keep your feelings to yourself. We don't know each other, show some class.

I don't see it as a compliment, nor an insult. I see it as a futile attempt at being clever, and instead coming across as a freaking creep.

You know what's exotic to me? How socially inept some people are.

 

[Two Words]

Different argument for another time.

Way to brush off a relevant point.

 

[Nephtis]

I'm under no obligation to accept any compliment, good intentions or not, I don't have to accept someone trying to force their feelings onto me. Keep your feelings to yourself. We don't know each other, show some class.

I don't see it as a compliment, nor an insult. I see it as a futile attempt at being clever, and instead coming across as a freaking creep.

You know what's exotic to me? How socially inept some people are.

Soooooo you're just going to opt for anger and indignation by default? How dare they try to compliment you, right? you are under no obligation to accept a compliment, but you're taking this to the extreme now.

Forcing their feelings on to you? C'mon now.

 

[Azih]

Exotic is a synonym for foreign and alien. Is this hard for people to understand?

 

[Pejo]

I'm under no obligation to accept any compliment, good intentions or not, I don't have to accept someone trying to force their feelings onto me. Keep your feelings to yourself. We don't know each other, show some class.

I don't see it as a compliment, nor an insult. I see it as a futile attempt at being clever, and instead coming across as a freaking creep.

You know what's exotic to me? How socially inept some people are.

You know, one of the easiest and most common ways to break the ice with someone is by giving a compliment. I'm not even saying in a sexual or "interested" way. The fact that you are offended by compliments in general falls back into my issue of people being hypersensitive.

 

[Sketchbag]

I'm under no obligation to accept any compliment, good intentions or not, I don't have to accept someone trying to force their feelings onto me. Keep your feelings to yourself. We don't know each other, show some class.

I don't see it as a compliment, nor an insult. I see it as a futile attempt at being clever, and instead coming across as a freaking creep.

You know what's exotic to me? How socially inept some people are.

You are free to not accept a compliment. We are free to say you're over reacting.

 

[Nephtis]

Exotic is a synonym for foreign and alien. Is this hard for people to understand?

It's an adjective for not native or usual -- y'know, mysterious.

 

[Azih]

You know, one of the easiest and most common ways to break the ice with someone is by giving a compliment. I'm not even saying in a sexual or "interested" way. The fact that you are offended by compliments in general falls back into my issue of people being hypersensitive.

Really? Depends on the compliment. You've never had a backhanded compliment lobbed at you?

You really think people should be fine with a "Wow you're really articulate?" because that's a compliment that is built on the assumption that the person being complimented is some sort of mouth breather.

 

[Azih]

It's an adjective for not native or usual -- y'know, mysterious.

Yeah, not native, as in 'you're not from around here are you' i.e: not a part of this society.

 

[Sketchbag]

Really? Depends on the compliment. You've never had a backhanded compliment lobbed at you?

You really think people should be fine with a "Wow you're really articulate?" because that's a compliment that is built on the assumption that the person being complimented is some sort of mouth breather.

Being praised as articulate is really good thing.

 

[Pejo]

Really? Depends on the compliment. You've never had a backhanded compliment lobbed at you?

You really think people should be fine with a "Wow you're really articulate?" because that's a compliment that is built on the assumption that the person being complimented is some sort of mouth breather.

Totally taking this subject out of the original scope. I'm not talking about back handed compliments or insults.

 

[Lesath]

Exotic is a synonym for foreign and alien. Is this hard for people to understand?

Dictionary definitions have no basis on whether or not a word is suitable for use on people. With that sort of logic, it would be acceptable to call women "delicious" - which by strict definition, means delightful to the senses.

 

[Sketchbag]

Dictionary definitions have no basis on whether or not a word is suitable for use on people. With that sort of logic, it would be acceptable to call women "delicious" - which by strict definition, means delightful to the senses.

What's wrong with the definition then? You're pushing your own definition above this one because you've heard it used in a different manner.

 

[Azih]

Dictionary definitions have no basis on whether or not a word is suitable for use on people.

Y'know I agree with you. The only basis is how people actually react to the word.

A lot of people react badly to the word exotic for reasons that I've explained. Doesn't matter one whit whether you think they should or not. Stop freaking using it.

 

[Lesath]

What's wrong with the definition then? You're pushing your own definition above this one because you've heard it used in a different manner.

Nothing is wrong with the definition. My point is that you can't use the dictionary to justify using words for people. And I'm not pushing my own definition; go ahead and look it up on webster and oxford. It's there.

 

[Azih]

Being praised as articulate is really good thing.

*snort* If it comes in response to someone just speaking normally it's like being praised for being able to tie your own shoe laces.

 

[ishibear]

Soooooo you're just going to opt for anger and indignation by default? How dare they try to compliment you, right? you are under no obligation to accept a compliment, but you're taking this to the extreme now.

Forcing their feelings on to you? C'mon now.

Who said anger is my response? It's called walking away, much like I do with any sort of cat calling or situation that makes me uncomfortable.

And there's something wrong with you if you think people are supposed to take compliments in stride if they make them uncomfortable.

Extreme is thinking you can tell someone when to be offended and when not to be. You should learn to respect people for being PEOPLE not objects or foreigners.

You know, one of the easiest and most common ways to break the ice with someone is by giving a compliment. I'm not even saying in a sexual or "interested" way. The fact that you are offended by compliments in general falls back into my issue of people being hypersensitive.

It's interesting that you resort to convincing yourself I dislike all compliments instead of maybe a few.

Aww, I'm such a bitch for not taking the compliment. How dare I have standards.

You are free to not accept a compliment. We are free to say you're over reacting.

Over reacting because I don't like being cat called and objectified by people I've never met.

Yep, there's some social ineptitude at play here indeed.

 

[Sketchbag]

Nothing is wrong with the definition. My point is that you can't use the dictionary to justify using words for people. And I'm not pushing my own definition; go ahead and look it up on webster and oxford. It's there.

I've read the definition. You're still pushing a conceived understanding of the word fueled by sentiments from people who feel it's super offensive and it's impairing your judgement on the word itself. It isn't a word that has evolved to offend people.

*snort* If it comes in response to someone just speaking normally it's like being praised for being able to tie your own shoe laces.

Yeah... because being damnably articulate is an average joe thing.

Over reacting because I don't like being cat called and objectified by people I've never met.

Yep, there's some social ineptitude at play here indeed.

Because I said I included catcalling and objectification as compliments. Please don't do that. You know what I was referencing IE words like exotic. Don't play that game.

 

[Nephtis]

*snort* If it comes in response to someone just speaking normally it's like being praised for being able to tie your own shoe laces.

Or maybe the person thinks the recipient of the praise has a superior mastery of the language when compared to them.

 

[Azih]

Or maybe the person thinks the recipient of the praise has a superior mastery of the language when compared to them.

Depends on the context. If it's given after say someone giving a valedictorian speech, sure. Given after half a minute of conversation for the first time? It's pretty much saying "Wow you're not a mouth breathing caveman!"

Context is king. Of course for 'exotic' there really isn't any context in which it doesn't mean different or other, or not native to the society. Foreign.

 

[Mumei]

Really? Depends on the compliment. You've never had a backhanded compliment lobbed at you?

You really think people should be fine with a "Wow you're really articulate?" because that's a compliment that is built on the assumption that the person being complimented is some sort of mouth breather.

I think it depends on who is being complimented, and who is doing the complimenting. When someone compliments me for being articulate, I don't think they're just saying it because they expected me to be a mouth-breather. I think it's a genuine, if misapplied, compliment. But I might think otherwise if I happened to be a black man whose articulateness kept getting pointed out by white people who always seemed to mention how surprised they were by my articulateness. I'd start to wonder pretty quickly just why they were surprised, and why they felt the need to point it out as something notable.

 

[Nephtis]

Who said anger is my response? It's called walking away, much like I do with any sort of cat calling or situation that makes me uncomfortable.

And there's something wrong with you if you think people are supposed to take compliments in stride if they make them uncomfortable.

Extreme is thinking you can tell someone when to be offended and when not to be. You should learn to respect people for being PEOPLE not objects or foreigners.

Ahahahahahaa what? Look at your own responses! C'mon. You're acting all indignant, calling people classless, stating they're just forcing their feelings on you.

I'm not telling you when to be offended, I've said several times it's perfectly fine to feel that way if you want (wait, isn't that forcing your feelings on to the person, too?). But you're making it sound like there's no other option but to react the way you supposedly would.

That's why I said you were being extreme with it.

Depends on the context. If it's given after say someone giving a valedictorian speech, sure. Given after half a minute of conversation for the first time? It's pretty much saying "Wow you're not a mouth breathing caveman!"

Context is king. Of course for 'exotic' there really isn't any context in which it doesn't mean different or other, or not native to the society. Foreign.

But that's the idea though. When something is foreign / different / other / not native to you, you call it exotic, which under normal circumstances, has a positive connotation even though it's a neutral word. Context applies even more with this word.