I want to hear the rest! Why you gotta tease me like that, Gingerlicious?
Alrighty.
Recent to Current
Ok, so my ex-partner and I decide to go our separate ways, she moves out within a couple weeks of this.
Now, at work (I work in Hospitality, Front of House, a vast majority of the other stuff are female at my work place too), one of the ladies who works B.O.H (I'll call her M) has been pretty flirty with me and we have caught up for drinks in the past.
A pretty well established friendship is there, but until this point it has just been a non-judgmental share/chat thing. The second I mention being "single", she propositions me with a "No strings attached, bit of fun" arrangement. Now some back story being the fact she is very comfortable with her sexuality and is most definitely "experienced" as I like to put it.
At this point I just roll with it. And this has been going on for the past 6 or so weeks, it felt really weird at first, purely for the whole jumping straight to intimacy/sex thing (I was honestly feeling pretty numb feelings wise, after the whole breaking up experience).
Current
Now this is the bit I really want to share and get some different views on, so any input is much appreciated.
Since all of this transition, I have had two (other) offers of ladies I work with setting me up with friends (who have nothing to do with the work place) for a bit of fun / companionship.
Since starting work I have built a strong friendship with one lady, as a BFF. She is getting married early next year and we are both on the same page about what our relationship entails etc She is my to-go for women questions / opinions
(Let's call her T)
I haven't taken either of them up on it, because I have been limited time wise and have been organizing my own things with a lady and just going with the flow on that. Now a preface is that I am a firm believer in "No expectations, no disappointment " and in general I am very open, honest and blunt.
The lady in question, lets call her L and I already have a really good thing going within a work context. We work really well together, have the same sense of humour (a massive deal for me) and are on the same wave-length in general.
But, she is really big on keeping work and home totally separate. So in the year I have worked with her, we have done very little "getting to know you" time outside of work. I pretty much mentally put her in the "out of your league / don't pursue" zone to help me stay on track.
Up until recently, we had only really gone out on a big group dinner, that I had organised, because we are 3 days apart in age and she didn't have any Birthday stuff planned.
That was until a couple weeks ago. Once she learned that I was well and truly done with my previous relationship, she at least let me share some stuff with her at work.
One day we both finished up at the same time and she suggested with go join a couple other ladies for after-work drinks (one of which is the M lady I have a FWB arrangement with, but no one at work besides my BFF T know about that). We go get changed, come back, and they have gone home. She just says "Oh well, I'll buy you a beer". We grab and drink and sit down for a proper one-on-one chat.
At this point she knows I have a heap on my mind and is really encouraging in me getting all out, although I did want to take the opportunity to get to know her and more importantly know if she felt comfortable doing so with me. I have a bit of a vent and she chimes in with previous relationship things she can relate on etc etc
This whole D'n'M talk goes on for a few hours, at one point I did apologize, once for talking her ear off and thank her for being so supportive and an overall cool Lady-Bro (as I call it, haha). We walk out to the car park and she gives me a big hug, of which this the first time she has been touchy/feely at all with anyone from work (it is otherwise pretty common at my work place, for me anyway).
And she finished with "Well that was a good first date" (we had talked about going out for dinner sometime, post me venting) and I mention about doing it again sometime soon.
Now
Last week I touched base with her, after missing a chance at work, and just offered her the follow up dinner. She went with it without hesitation and wasn't fussed where (I did ask
). I offered her a lift (she is on P plates, which means she can't have alcohol and drive for non-Aussies), no pressure, she just lives one town over and could have a drink. She politely declined and reminded me that she rarely drinks anyway (not to mention she is
very independent / self sufficient).
I booked something in, got to the day (I worked, she didn't), checked she was all good, and she just said where to and she would meet me there. I mentioned the place (hoping it was alright) and she said she was really keen to go back there / knew what it is like. My BFF T had joked around with me before hand, saying "Oh, well that place is a bit romantic." and asked me whether or not it was a *date* date or just a friend catch up, to which I answered "I don't know, and I am not fussed, just going with the flow".
The whole dinner went really well, no awkwardness at all, no bailing even when the chance presented itself. We shared a lot about each other, and I got to know the "real" her a fair bit. This lady, L, is very close with her Mum/Sister and she joked that when her Sister wanted to come along she told her "Why don't you go do something with your own boyfriend". We ended up staying until they closed (yes, we were
those people) and I walked her out to her car. Ended with a big hug (you know the difference) and she gave me a kiss on the cheek.
During the night we talked about going out again, she had a suggestion for a place she would love to go to me with. Just before leaving I thanked her for a good night/her company and she we should do it again sometime, to which she replied "Yes! *insert the place we talked*"
Now, unless I am completely missing something, would everyone call that a *date*? I mean, she admitted to being a bit socially awkward, and I am fairly observant. But I got good vibes from all of this.
Last night I spoke to her a bit online, and as much as I hate text talk, it is convenient sometimes. As part of my self-improvement, I have been working really hard on being able to communicate effectively on all levels and be able to share how I feel (instead of internalising everything and getting frustrated, a bit part of the previous relationship degrading). The bit I get self-conscious about and over-analyse is when I give her compliments and share how I feel. Ended up sort of saying sorry being awkward/sappy and she joked it off saying "Aren't we all sometimes?"
So GAF, what say ye? Am I completely clueless about modern dating, or should I just keep pressing on? (The underlying thing being that at the very least I will end up with a really close friend out of this, but I don't want mixed feelings/grey areas)
