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[AlimNassor]

We started early this year, means we end early.

No fair )= I love this thread.

 

[dani_dc]

No, it was an actual Gaffer claiming she had a crush, but I don't know who it was or where I read it

Well, that post was a bit after MindShaft said she has a crush on a Gaffer, so maybe that was it?

Some anonymous email services are considered spam by Gmail. Others are not. If you have a Gmail account yourself, you can try sending a test mail to yourself first.

Perhaps next year we should have a few suggestions of anonymous email services that were tested to work with gmail in the OP.

 

[SmackAttack]

Just wanted to pop in and say even though I didn't post in here or send in a confession, I did lurk and boy, was this some good reading. Nice job, NTGYK. Perhaps I'll participate next year.

Spoiler

Also, cumfessor's posts were hot. Like really.

 

[dani_dc]

Whenever I remember to check this thread I think "I need to go check Cumfessor thread"

 

[Psychotext]

Ha, she's probably getting so horny thinking of everyone thinking of her.

Spoiler

Filthy perv!

 

[HGStormy]

I'm thinking about what I should eat for lunch.

 

[dani_dc]

I'm thinking about what I should eat for lunch.

Cumsicles.

 

[NeOak]

Ha, she's probably getting so horny thinking of everyone thinking of her.

Spoiler

Filthy perv!

She turned into the goddess of the thread.

 

[Xpike]

Cumfessor should PM me.
You know
For science.

 

[HGStormy]

You guys are such perverts

 

[salty_Josh]

I don't know if I like the idea of someone getting off when reading comments. I mean just imagine her sitting in a chair all naked and wet and filthy, her eyes gazed at the screen, her hands sensually

Spoiler

<--- okay, maybe it's kinda hot

Spoiler

still creepy though

 

[Magwik]

I wonder what's going on in here ...
... oh

 

[Mistel]

You guys are such perverts

Who isn't?

 

[HGStormy]

Who isn't?

That sounds like something a pervert would say.

 

[Mistel]

That sounds like something a pervert would say.

Guilty as charged.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Look at all these motherfucking perverts in her as I stare at photos of Cumfessor.

Spoiler

Just kidding, the only photos are in my imagination and are imaginary.

 

[Curiocity]

At least you're not a doozy or a scumbag daaaaad~

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

Look at all these motherfucking perverts in her as I stare at photos of Cumfessor.

Spoiler

Just kidding, the only photos are in my imagination and are imaginary.

You don't still have those wet fingers she sent you?

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

I still don't think mine got posted. :[ Oh well.

 

[HGStormy]

I still don't think mine got posted. :[ Oh well.

Don't lie, we all know you were the one swooning over your gaffer crush.

Spoiler

I have no clue who that was

 

[HGStormy]

I actually sent one in and it didn't get posted either. Oh well. Next time maybe I'll get it right.

I'd be happy to post your confession for you wink wink nudge nudge

 

[Chuckie]

Look at all these motherfucking perverts in her as I stare at photos of Cumfessor.

Spoiler

Just kidding, the only photos are in my imagination and are imaginary.

 

[dani_dc]

Look at all those people coming here saying their confession didn't get posted

 

[Birbo]

I get that the Cumfessor is a Cum Confessor, but I always see it as Cum Professor.

 

[NeOak]

I get that the Cumfessor is a Cum Confessor, but I always see it as Cum Professor.

She has a Magna Cum Laude PhD in Cum dynamics.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

She has a Magna Cum Laude PhD in Cum dynamics.

We clearly now need a thread dedicated to the physics of semen.

Semen in Space.

Semen Odyssey: 2001

 

[Valhelm]

So NotTheGuy, which of the confessions was your personal favorite?

 

[NeOak]

We clearly now need a thread dedicated to the physics of semen.

Semen in Space.

Semen Odyssey: 2001

That woman opened the floodgates.

She has a fan club now.

Spoiler

and she fingers herself thinking about it

 

[Chuckie]

Let's wank to the thought of Cumfessor fingering to the thought of guys getting hard from her cumfession.

Cumception!

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

Alright, so I have all the links saved and named in a Word Document. Here's the current plan I have for the compilations of confessions.

1. Only the anonymous confessions will be posted for now. If you made a confession nonanonymously in this thread, sorry, you're out of luck for now.

2. Gonna spread them out among multiple posts, some organized by length. Some will have trigger warnings, so I'll make a separate post for those. The confessions that are part of a "series", like Cumfessor, Asshole Boyfriend, Prom Girl, and Soulfucker, there will be a separate post for those as well.

3. After all that's done and organized, I'll make one more post linking to the posts containing Short Confessions, Long Confessions, Trigger Warning Confessions, and all the Confession Series.

Any thoughts?

 

[J. Bravo]

You guys should just make a throway email. Even if you link it to your Gmail, you can change the name and it isn't linked to you at all

 

[NeOak]

I want to see ronito's favorite confession from this thread mentioned in the list.

 

[Masquerader]

We clearly now need a thread dedicated to the physics of semen.

Semen in Space.

Semen Odyssey: 2001

And the worst of the bunch, Semen 9 From Outer Space.

Alright, so I have all the links saved and named in a Word Document. Here's the current plan I have for the compilations of confessions.

1. Only the anonymous confessions will be posted for now. If you made a confession nonanonymously in this thread, sorry, you're out of luck for now.

2. Gonna spread them out among multiple posts, some organized by length. Some will have trigger warnings, so I'll make a separate post for those. The confessions that are part of a "series", like Cumfessor, Asshole Boyfriend, Prom Girl, and Soulfucker, there will be a separate post for those as well.

3. After all that's done and organized, I'll make one more post linking to the posts containing Short Confessions, Long Confessions, Trigger Warning Confessions, and all the Confession Series.

Any thoughts?

Sounds good~!

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Alright, so I have all the links saved and named in a Word Document. Here's the current plan I have for the compilations of confessions.

1. Only the anonymous confessions will be posted for now. If you made a confession nonanonymously in this thread, sorry, you're out of luck for now.

2. Gonna spread them out among multiple posts, some organized by length. Some will have trigger warnings, so I'll make a separate post for those. The confessions that are part of a "series", like Cumfessor, Asshole Boyfriend, Prom Girl, and Soulfucker, there will be a separate post for those as well.

3. After all that's done and organized, I'll make one more post linking to the posts containing Short Confessions, Long Confessions, Trigger Warning Confessions, and all the Confession Series.

Any thoughts?

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

I may have made a terrible mistake by internally defining "Bite-Size" as "Three paragraphs or less".

 

[Daffy Duck]

Wow, the cumfessor sounds so hot.....straight up smut.

Bravo girl.

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

PROGRESS UPDATE:

A large majority of the confessions are about one paragraph long, from what I'm seeing.

I've been organizing the bite-sized ones by number of sentences/paragraphs, but just labeling them like that seems... boring.

I have a fun idea for the one-paragraph ones in particular. It'll help me break up the monotony of replacing all the quotation marks in the URL tags.

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

ANOTHER UPDATE:

The One-Paragraph Confessions are gonna be linked via a Google Doc. Mostly because I have no idea if NeoGAF will let me post that many links, and I don't wanna take the chance.

As a bit of a peek, though, I have confessions titled "Never Masturbated", "Saw His Brother's Girlfriend Naked Via Video on Brother's Computer", and "Gettin' Handies From Your Brother?" all right next to each other, and I never intended them to end up that way. I find this utterly hilarious.

 

[vikki]

We clearly now need a thread dedicated to the physics of semen.

Semen in Space.

Semen Odyssey: 2001

I am really amazed at the distance fired sometimes. What was different about this one time that I painted the wall across the room vs. the normal finish?

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

It Begins

Warioware Microconfessions (One-Sentence)

NotTheGuyYouKill is a Lamer

Oh I Just Can’t Wait to be Pegged

Giving Gaffers Warts

My Ex Broke Up With Me Over GAF

Shipping NTGYK and Ronito

<Name changed to THIEF>

Confessing to Pam

Finding Friends With Benefits

Mobile Confessions (One Paragraph)

Go Here

Indie Confessions (Two Paragraph)

Furry Who Likes Perfumed Horses (and thinks everyone is a hypocrite)

I Hire Prostitutes to Act Out My Incest Fantasies (but they’re not very good at it)

I Still Like This Girl That Had Been Seeing Another Guy The Whole Time

I’m a Sex Addict Who Gets Off 8 Times a Day

Long-Distance BDSM Relationship

I Still Think About My Ex-GF Even Though I’m Married

I’m a Mom-Con

I Have a Diaper/Age-Regression Fetish But I Have a Great Girlfriend

Pee, Pee, Pee Against the Currents of Running Water

Struggling with Racist Thoughts

Gets Off On People Laughing at Small Dicks

Heartbroken Over an Ended Relationship

Duped a International Student into Taking Selfies So He Could Fap

Can’t Connect With People Because of Roommate Suicide

Hates His Body, Can Only Get Off on Cuckold Porn

Garden-Shitter

My Cousin is a Dick So I Play Around With His Life for Revenge

 

[Elija2]

Warioware Microconfessions (One-Sentence)

Should be "Microconfe$$ion$"

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

Eh, maybe I'll edit that in Elija. Like I edited in the Mobile Confessions and the Indie Confessions.

But first!

It Continues

Handheld Confessions (Three-Paragraph)

Struggling Poet Filled with Heartbreak

I Let My Best Friend Get Herpes From His Girlfriend Cause I Shared Nudes with Her

I Masturbated in Class During Middle School

Keeps Finances From His Spouse Because “You Can’t Trust a Girl With Money”

The Mythical Clit Ring in My Girlfriend’s Car

I’m a Virgin Software Engineer and I’m Happy With Myself

I Envy All My Friends

I Was Homeschooled By My Mom and I Cheated On Everything

In Love With Best Friend, But He’s Cheating on His SO With Me

Coming Out as Transgender and Starting the Process

Got a Kid Suspended in 3rd Grade By Writing a Note

Got Dog-Jobs as a Teen and Let the Dog Free to Cover it Up My Animal Abuse

I Expose Prostitutes To Their Loved Ones Because It Amuses Me

I’m Bi and I Have a Girlfriend. Potential for a Threesome?

I Have a Skype Girlfriend

He Sent This From His Wife’s E-Mail Account

Sex Bores Me

Manager With a Diet Racist Employee

It’s Tough to Get Out of Bed in the Morning

30-Year-Old Is Still a Virgin, Is Perfectly Okay With It

Never Carry Buckets of Piss, You Might Spill Them

An Actual Fucking Misogynist, Goddamn

 

[Psychotext]

Good job that man.

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

EDIT: Console and Big-Budget Confessions are now split up

It Continues

Console Confessions (Medium)

Asexual Guy Who Hates Dan Savage

I’m Addicted to Masturbating (TEN TIMES A DAY)

Woman Struggling with Pedophilic Thoughts

My Girl Treated Me Like Shit But I Keep Coming Back, Please Help Me

I Had Herpes on My Lips Since Birth, Now I Might Have Genital Herpes

I Have OCD And I Don’t Know if I’m Gay

SCUMBAG DAD

Silky Touch, Irresistibly Smooth, Shampoo Jerker

I Hate Women Because I Think They Hate Me But I’m a Feminist Somehow

I’m Leaving You GAF

Thinks He Can’t Get Meaningful Relationships Because He’s Overweight

Dude With Low Self-Esteem Who Doesn’t Like His Face

Found My Best Friend Flirting With Other Girls Online

I Hate My Friends’ Girlfriends And I Do Horrible Things To Them

Extremely Confused About His Sexuality

My Father Is A Sex-Driven Scumbag

I Like The Head Cashier and I’m a Closeted Bisexual

I Chew On Everything

Eats Wired Stuff and… Other Things

I Was A Dick To My Sister And I Still Am

I Hate All Asexuals Because of One Person

I’m a Chronic Liar (No I’m Not)

Combination of Mental Illnesses, Home Sucks, Wants to Move Out

Doesn’t Like People Who Post Gifs Because “It’s Not Theirs”

Went Down the Rabbit Hole to /h/

F1 and B1 Confessor from Last Thread, Life Has Improved

Pedoconfessor Ducks Out Of Therapy From Fear

19 Year Old Realizes He’s Literally 5 Years Behind Mentally and Emotionally

Mid-Life Crisis, Too Tired for Sex

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

Big-Budget Confessions (Long)

I Massaged My Cousin But I Didn’t Take a Chance

Scumbag Sleazy Retail Manager

My Personality is Not Popular With Girls, Also I Talk a Lot

I Fake My Way Through Intimacy

I Got Out of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

My Girlfriend Cheated on Me and I Plotted My Revenge for Six Years

He Wants To Fuck His Wife More Than Once a Week

Crossdresser With a Great Wife

Can’t Come With Vaginal, Among Other Problems

Became an Alcoholic at Age 9, Fucked Up Family in General

My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me and I Feel Fine (He Doesn’t Though)

I Have a Fiancee and a Girlfriend And I’m a Serial Cheater

I Gave Some Hookers a Ride in My Car

I’m a Feminist Gamer But I Write Rape Fanfiction

Self-Diagnosed Psychopath With a Horrid Life

Possibly Bipolar With a Terrible Family

Boy Scout Hazing is Absolutely Terrifying

My Marriage Is a Living Hell of a Façade

Shy Dude Has Two Girls He Likes

The Genocidal Ultra-Cynic (AKA Ra’s al Ghul’s Less Charismatic Offspring)

Strip Club Bouncer is a Horrid Person

Virgin Anxiety, Fears Being a Wizard

First Girlfriend Had Sex Before, Now I Feel Like a Tool

Internet Sports Betting Saved My Life

Mentally Abusive HIV-Positive Former Drug Addict Who Dates Guys 20 Years His Senior

My Girlfriend is Mentally Ill and I Knocked Her Up

Former 35-Year-Old Virgin Enters a Relationship and Gets Sex

Guy Who Had Issues With Bullying All the Way Until College

Guy Shits His Pants and After a Fruitless Journey, Puts Them in a Plastic Bag

I Have Horrid Breath And It Drives People Away

Parent Wonders What His Life Would Be Like Without Kids

Redneck Becomes a Success Story, Discards It and Becomes a Redneck Again

Guy Sees What Could Be Statuatory Rape, Is Conflicted On Whether To Report It

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

fantastic work, dude!

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

Thank you, milord!

Okay, so I'm gonna post both the Trigger Warning and Confession Franchises here, because there's one confession that's part of a franchise that I think deserves a Trigger Warning.

Trigger Warning

TRIGGER WARNING: A Victim of Attempted Rape in High School

TRIGGER WARNING: Thinks Girls Who Had Drunk Sex Aren’t Victims Like Her

TRIGGER WARNING: Rapist Still Lives in Neighborhood

Confession Franchises

Asshole Boyfriend Who Treats His Girl Like Shit

Followup To Asshole Boyfriend

Depressed DayCare Cleaner

Followup To Depressed Daycare Cleaner

I’m Tired and Exhausted From Life and I Have No Money

Followup to Tired and Exhausted

Atheist Purity Virgin

Atheist Purity Virgin EXPOSED as a Polygamist Cult Leader

Transgender A-Cup, Part 1

A-Cup Part 2

A-Cup Part 3

Had An Affair With a Kid 10 Years Younger Than Me

Followup to 10-Year-Gap Affair

Thinks About Stabbing People

Stabber Has General Anxiety

Cumfessor, Part 1

Cumfessor, Part 2

Cumfessor, Part 3

I Suffer From Vicarious Trauma

Vicarious Trauma Followup

Prom Girl Part 1

TRIGGER WARNING: Prom Girl Part 2

Programmer Who Might Get Fired

The Programmer Returns

Struggles With Keeping a Masculine Image, But Wants To Be a Woman

Woman Trapped In a Man Responds

The Chronicles of Soulfucker

Other Responses From Soulfucker

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

And finally, now that all the anonymous confessions have been posted....

LINKS TO ALL THE CONFESSIONS, BY LENGTH

Microconfessions, Mobile Confessions, and Indie Confessions

Handheld Confessions

Console Confessions

Big-Budget Confessions

Trigger-Warning Confessions and Confession Franchises

Feel free to put this in the OP, NotTheGuyYouKill.

Whoo, finally done. Maybe next year I can do this from the start? That'd be nice.

<thud>

 

[Magwik]

You are doing the work of a god, Cesspool

 

[CesspoolofHatred]

You are doing the work of a god, Cesspool

Thank you so much for the compliments. I'm glad to know it's all appreciated.

That being said, JESUS HELL doing this at the very end was exhausting. And also I copied all the links into Word and did the URL coding stuff there, but when I transferred them to GAF the quotation marks got messed up. So had to retype them in the message box here. Maybe use a different word processor next time as well. Or a different font/font size.