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NeoGAF Anonymous Confessions 2014 - Confessember Be Upon Us - Under New Management

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F

FUBAR McDangles

Member
Valhelm said:
I don't understand how anybody living in North America could have never spoken to an Asian woman before.
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Aside from a "you're welcome" I got for holding the door open for an older woman a week or so ago, I've never talked to an Asian woman.

Demographics of small town Minnesota/North Dakota though.
 
J

John Kowalski

Banned
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
John Kowalski: That is also up, yes. I've also wondered what soul-jizz would look like. When I did soulfucking stuff, it was usually whatever color their soul was (i.e. blue, red, purple), but practically I'd imagine it looks like Ecto-Cooler. Kind of disgusting to think about it now.
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FTJJohx.png


i don't know what i was expeecting
 
E

Elija2

Member
I'm a straight guy and I think vaginas are kinda unattractive too. I've never seen one in person though so maybe that will change my mind.
 
Rest

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
I'm sitting, putting off going back to work, refreshing this thread in the hopes of another confession tonight...
 
Z

zeemumu

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
I google stalk a girl that I was in love with in high school, but her life is so much better than mine and it makes me depressed so I just stare off into the distance as Radioactive by Imagine Dragons plays in the background.
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While she has sex with Green Arrow?

I guess I'll do my own confession since it's not really that bad or anything. Sometimes I like to browse tumblr and ask my friends random anon questions to learn more about them if they're interesting.
 
Rest

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Are there any more? Are you sitting on them to post them out of order?
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
One more confession, because Rest seems thirsty for something. Updated compilation for old times' sake:

Soulfucker I: The Phantom Fucker

Soulfucker I followup

The Sordid Tale of Vore-Fox (WARNING: DEPRESSING AS HELL AND NOT ZANY AT ALL, MAYBE LEAVE FOR LAST ON A GOOD DAY AND FOR NEVER ON A BAD DAY)

Soulfucker III: Revenge of the Selfcest

Soulfucker IV: There is No Hope

Soulfucker V: Realitycide & Soulfucker VI: The Wrath of Cain

Soulfucker VII: The Plastic Strikes Back and Soulfucker VIII: Feeding the Flesh-Lord (plus responses)

John_Kowalski: Personal policy of mine, I don't really expect anything at all. I've tossed around and received too many weird ideas to have any sort of expectations for what I might hear in a given day. Everything I just laid out in this thread? That's the CANON stuff, you don't want to see the noncanon nonsense, horrors and vastly lessened intelligence lie that way.

~~~~

First:

I told the guys in the RP group that I confessed some stuff, they're not exactly happy about it. I don't think they've gone looking for the thread, though, so that's good I guess?

Second, I invaded IRC-GAF and I'm not nearly as interesting in there. Fun fact: My RP IRC channel and IRC-GAF are actually hosted by the same server. Madness!

Lastly,

NotTheGuyYouKill: Thanks for putting up with my inbox-stuffing bullshit, man. It's appreciated.

....Also, I'd be offended by that GIF, but really it fits way too well with my rambling. I feel sad now. : (
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Don't be sad, Soulfucker. If I used a GIF, it means it left an impression!
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Anywho, my wife and I like to think of creative ways to use my cum cuz why not, we're kinky. Like, just the other day she had me ejaculate into an ice tray and we did that Dexter's Lab shit where we put some plastic wrap over it, stuck some toothpicks into each cube and let it sit in the freezer overnight to make some frozen semen popsicles, cumsicles if you will. Haven't tried them yet nor do I really have any plans to, but according to the missus it's not that bad, lol!
Click to expand...

That's the most disgustingly adorable thing ever. She's a keeper.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
I'm in my early 30's and last year met a woman (late 30's) who I've fallen completely in love with. As dopey as it sounds I can't imagine spending my life without her now. I've been with... a lot of woman in my time and honestly none have ever made me feel the way she does, physically and emotionally. A few months ago we decided that we would try to have a baby. I honestly never wanted one before meeting her. Nothing has happened though even though we've been trying. I've always been curious if everything is ok down there (never accidentally got anyone pregnant) so last week we went to a fertility clinic together. She helped me squeeze one out then the Doc had a look. The count was a bit low but other than that he saw no real problems... She's watching the calendar now though so we're going to try when the chance is best. This confession may seem pretty tame so far but hey there's a twist! I'm married to another woman and my gf is married too (and has two kids already). I've asked my wife for a divorce though. It's a bit rough at the moment... I'm living in a foreign country so I'm really on my own.
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Staring-Confused-Ron-Swanson.gif


I didn't see that ending coming.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
There is a user called "XXXXXXXX" who posted a picture of himself without a shirt on in a thread about men with sculpted musculature. I found this mans physique and visage to be most pleasing to my eyes. Most pleasing... I have never even dreamed of considering dating a fellow gaffer but I would make an exception for this particular person. But I'm too shy so I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to confess my silly little crush through ConfessionGAF and cross my fingers that he sees it. Maybe he'll figure out it's me and say hello. Hello. :D pics for reference: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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Hey girl, Horse Detective and Devolution made it work (with other people, not with each other).

You have NTGYK's permission to nail that hard, hot piece of manflesh like there's no tomorrow, but only if it's consensual and he's a nice guy and there's chemistry between you two.

You should PM ORRRRRRRRRRR I can PM him for you. I'm totally down to do that.

tumblr_mnryzgB0811s8l4eao1_500.gif


Also, I dunno if you read this thread, but GAFers are filthy, lewd people that constantly bang at these meetups and outside of these meetups. Chances are in your favour.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
And now the Confessional is dry. If you don't see your confession, it means I didn't receive it, in either the Inbox or the Spam folders.

If you wanna send some more, you got like... three hours? Or maybe I'll just post everything that I receive when I wake up tomorrow morning. I'm capricious that way.
 
W

weemadarthur

Member
Ok, GafCrush, it's time you man up* and grow a pair* and send that pm. Otherwise your pals from GG may need to offer a wing assist, and we might pick the wrong gaffer. I'm not saying, I'm just saying.

*Well, metaphorically
 
M

Mike M

Nick N
I honestly don't have anything to confess this time around. I've actually had a pretty decent year, all things considered.
 
H

HGStormy

Banned
If UKGAF is any indication, everyone on GAF is horny 24/7 and will bang each other the second there's a meetup.

I already posted this but I deleted it: I have over 700 games and I haven't beaten a single one of them.

I had a teensy tiny crush on a gaffer once.
If that particular gaffer is reading this: I totally make up for my hideous face with a shitty attitude and nonexistent personality. Hit me up <3

I edit my posts way too much. Would be easier if I didn't suck at writing.
 
V

Valhelm

contribute something
I have a confession.

I've been working on a fantasy series concept for about a year, but I only have the faintest outline of a plot and just three chapters finished.

I've written 100,000 words of planning and world-building.
 
M

Mike M

Nick N
Valhelm said:
I have a confession.

I've been working on a fantasy series concept for about a year, but I only have the faintest outline of a plot and just three chapters finished.

I've written 100,000 words of planning and world-building.
Click to expand...

I thought my 40k of prewriting for my NaNo novel was excessive.
 
M

mollipen

Member
As was mentioned before, there are numerous members in the TransGAF thread who are willing to anonymously post things for those who don't feel comfortable posting under their GAF names. Just contact one of the major members of the thread, and either they can do it for you, or suggest someone who would be willing to.

(In relation to Woman in a Man, or anybody else who might want to say things but are too scared / nervous / hesitant to do so publicly.)
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Hope mine gets in before you call it quits.

I feel like I'm going through a mid-life crisis lately. I have a decent job I've been working at for 10+ years, good wife, great kids, semi-decent friends...I want for nothing. I feel kind of lost and without focus or direction lately. One of my biggest issues is my sex life with my wife.

Started having an ED issue about a year ago. Wife and I had a rare moment home alone without the kids and started having sex. Was getting close to the time my kids were due home, I started feeling pressure to get the act done quick and I lost my erection. Since that time, the fear of failing was always in the back of my mind. There were times everything was fine, but started having more and more erection issues. Working a full day, then having to wait for the kids to fall asleep to have sex, more often then not I'd just be too tired, which lead to more instances of my erections not lasting long.

At this point, my wife thinks I'm not attracted to her and I feel so much pressure about it all, I'd rather not even try. Try to tell her it isn't her, but she doesn't believe me, which adds to my feeling like crap. Talked to my doctor a bit about and he just got a puzzled look and a "Really?" response, followed by a trial of Viagra that didn't seem to help. Even took a stress test because I felt like my chest was tightening up due to all of this.

I hate feeling like this. I still have sexual urges, but too nervous to even act on them. I feel old, out of shape and less and less like a man as the days go by. Don't know how to get my mojo back at this point.
Click to expand...

Take your wife on a vacation and leave the kids and responsibilities behind. Make her feel like a woman. I'm pretty sure there's a song that goes with this bit of advice.

Also, watch The Dark Knight Rises, specifically the climbing the pit scene for inspiration. Though really, you're doing the inverse of it.

Remember. You are Christian Bale. Now you take your wife to Italy, get her to dress up in a skin tight Catwoman leather outfit, and you pleasure your beautiful wife until she cannot bear it no more.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Programmer is back with an update:

First of all, for reference, I'm this guy: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=137935969&postcount=1801

After that happened the day I sent that confession, I was down the rest of the day. My coworker/friend in the cubicle across from me noticed later on in the day, and asked me what was wrong. I didn't want to tell her there in the office due to who might overhear, so I asked her to take a walk outside with me and I would tell her.

We got outside and I told her what happened. She was confused, as she didn't feel at all like I was "holding the team back" like my boss said. I told her that it was mainly dumb mistakes that got me to this point, and I was super frustrated, and now crying at this point. She was very supportive, and offered some solutions to help (such as demoing everything to her before I call it done so I don't miss anything).

The coworker mentioned above has only been there about five more months than I have. That Monday, I told another coworker about this when I had a moment alone with him. This guy has been there for a long time (10+ years) and he was also very supportive. This sounds dumb, but the only people I truly trust are these two coworkers, which was why I told both of them. He gave me a lot more helpful advice, and even told me it's possible it's just a bluff, as this project is just important. If they were to fire me, they would have a hard time finding people who would be willing to work for the salaries I make (which aren't bad, just comparatively low to other places). I'm still taking it seriously regardless though.

The only problem is I feel like I have to walk on eggshells now about everything. Just today I had a problem, and it was one of those problems where I felt like it was just me being stupid and I just wasn't seeing it. ProgrammingGAF might know this feeling. Regardless, it was ending up telling my manager about stuff like this that got me in this position, so I basically had to take a bit longer and try to figure it out myself. Luckily I did, but it was frustrating being practically unable to ask for help. I could ask my coworkers, but they didn't know about the specific thing I was working on, so I wouldn't be able to get much of a helpful answer out of them.

I guess things are going a bit better since then? I'm still scared of losing this job, but ever since then I have heard absolutely nothing. However, like I said in last confession, I estimate they will decide to keep me or not in about a month from then, so probably two weeks from now.

Anyway, thanks for the advice those who responded to the original confession. I appreciate any advice you might have for this one.

(Note to NTGYK): Please include that link to the original confession in the post. Thanks.
Click to expand...

Look, all you can really do at this moment is your very best. Whether you're fired or not, you make damn sure that the work you do is the best that you can do. Don't let the fear cloud your mind. The work has to be done regardless. If at the very least, so you know that you can do it. Don't give up, bud, and don't let that fear paralyze you. You got good people around you willing to help you, I suggest you take their help, even if it won't fully help you, just the fact that you have support is good.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
In 1999 or 2000 this Russian/Kazakh/Chechen/Tajik/Tarter/Hungarian/idk kid came to my 2nd grade class and spoke no English. He was a dick to everyone and kept punching people. So one day I pulled down his pants and underwear and threw sand and mud at his dick. I never got caught. Everyone laughed at him.

In hindsight it might have been kind of racist? This kid was basically tiny Borat. He didn't fit in at all and he randomly hit people a lot. He was white but not culturally European so it was a racism grey area.
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If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Though if he was being an asshole and you threw mud at his dick cause he was an asshole and not cause he was MiniBorat, then it's not racist. If it's cause of where he's from, then it's racist.

So did you throw mud on his dick cause he was an asshole or cause he was European?
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Prom Girl decided to talk to her fiancee about her drunken near-threesome with her high school bestie

Prom girl here. Just decided to throw in a follow up at the last minute. After posting the confession, I realized you guys were right and it wasn't as big a deal as I was building up in my head. I told him a few nights later, he confirmed that I was way more upset by it than he was, and that while bringing it up early on in the relationship wouldn't have been a good idea, 6 years later it really doesn't matter much at all.

We did get a laugh out of people rooting for a MFF threesome to make up for it though. We agreed a while ago that it's on our bucket list. Unfortunately for you guys, he's bi and I've had a thing for guy on guy action since high school. MMF was the logical choice for us.

And since the thread is winding down, I'll throw in another confession while I'm here (all of which the fiance knows about btw).

I was molested for years as a child, between the years of 4-11. He was 5 years older than me, and his family was close to ours so we played a lot when we were younger. Obviously I didn't know what sex and sex related activities were when it began, but I did know I liked the way it felt. Eventually I caught on that we weren't supposed to be doing that stuff, but I didn't want him to get in trouble for it. Especially since I had "consented" to everything and I was enjoying it still even as I grew more and more ashamed of it. It was only oral and fingering for the most part. It stopped when I began having periods.

For the most part, I've grown into a well adjusted adult. It has left me with sort of a wide range of kinks, some of which I wish I didn't have. I'm mostly fine with the dubcon, bdsm, gangbangs, and tentacles stuff even if I wouldn't want to mention them to other people. But then there's also the non-con, humiliation, watersports, loli, and even shota stuff that I sort of tangentially branched out to, even if I find the idea of it all distasteful. I think that sort of guilty feeling I had with my earlier sexual experiences is what I'm subconsciously seeking out, as that's the only really connecting factor with all of them, and as far as I can guess that's the tone I'm looking for when finding fapping material.

I would like to note that I am not interested in any of the above whatsoever in real life. Even in my fantasy material, I'm not involved at all. I neither want to do any of the stuff to another person, nor do I want to have it done to me. It's the scenario itself that gets me off. In any case, while life would probably be more convenient without some of those kinks, I don't find them to be intrusive nor disruptive in my life so I'm not particularly concerned with getting it treated or anything.
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What the hell is dubcon? Is that like a convention for dubstep, AKA Hell?
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
How else to end tonight but with a final departing confession from our beloved Cumfessor?

Cumfessor here.

I masturbate at work on a regular basis. I work on one of the top floors of a very tall building in a very large American city. My cube is in the corner where I have a window that overlooks the river and a park. I masturbate through my panties at my desk. The building just looks like a reflective glass cylinder so I don't think anyone can see but I definitely get off on the fact that somebody could. This is something I do a lot. In fact I'll even sometimes take into account whether or not I plan to masturbate when I pick out my clothes for the day. Every time I'm in a meeting with my boss I fantasize getting bent over the desk and having him fuck me from behind.

I loved reading peoples reaction to my last confession. I have to confess that the thought of dozens of guys getting hard over me is a massive turn on. That's why I'm giving this confession; because I plan to finger my pussy to the responses it gets. So let me tell you about the origin of my cum fetish.

I was with my high school sweetheart. I was 17 and he was 18. I loved sucking his dick but because of my lack of experience and technique I was never able to make him cum. Still I loved the feel of it in my mouth and I loved the taste of his precum. Just a quick aside, but precum tastes way different than actual cum. When you have a mans penis in your mouth he drips this sweet, slightly salty fluid that I might actually be addicted to but I have to be honest and confess I'm not in love with the taste of proper cum. I have a fetish for it and I love it, but the taste isn't the reason.

So he and I would fuck but he'd always cum inside a condom. One day I insisted he fuck me bareback so I could actually feel him inside me. We fucked every which way until I was on my belly with my butt up in the air. He was thrusting into me and I felt his rhythm and his breathing change. He moaned and said he was about to cum and pulled out. Right as he was pulling out I whipped my body around and took his cock into my mouth before he could spill a drop. I could feel his cock harden even more inside my mouth, I felt him gasp, and all of a sudden I could feel a jet of hot cum streaming past my tongue and down my throat. I just looked up at him while suckling on his cock and he had his head pointed towards the ceiling with his eyes closed. Eventually he bowed his head and our eyes met. I smiled and gave the tip of his penis a lick and a kiss.
Click to expand...

78445-airplane-movie-pilot-sweating-Hc3R.gif
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
And that's all for tonight, folks. Any confessions between now and midnight, I'll post in the morning, but if it's after 12:01 am PST, it's gonna remain in the confessional till the next round of Confessember.
 
NeOak

NeOak

Member
NotTheGuyYouKill said:
How else to end tonight but with a final departing confession from our beloved Cumfessor?

78445-airplane-movie-pilot-sweating-Hc3R.gif
Click to expand...

All I wish is having a wife like her
and a PM from Cumfessor

NotTheGuyYouKill said:
Nah, I'm pretty sure they're left open. After a point though, bumping one is considered necrobumping though.

I wonder if I should make a post collating all of the Confessions in one mega... thing.

I'll think on this.
Click to expand...

They get locked if someone necrobumps.

ronito posted some statistics last year: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=710111&page=35
 
L

Little Nemo

Member
Cumfessor here.

I masturbate at work on a regular basis. I work on one of the top floors of a very tall building in a very large American city. My cube is in the corner where I have a window that overlooks the river and a park. I masturbate through my panties at my desk. The building just looks like a reflective glass cylinder so I don't think anyone can see but I definitely get off on the fact that somebody could. This is something I do a lot. In fact I'll even sometimes take into account whether or not I plan to masturbate when I pick out my clothes for the day. Every time I'm in a meeting with my boss I fantasize getting bent over the desk and having him fuck me from behind.

I loved reading peoples reaction to my last confession. I have to confess that the thought of dozens of guys getting hard over me is a massive turn on. That's why I'm giving this confession; because I plan to finger my pussy to the responses it gets. So let me tell you about the origin of my cum fetish.

I was with my high school sweetheart. I was 17 and he was 18. I loved sucking his dick but because of my lack of experience and technique I was never able to make him cum. Still I loved the feel of it in my mouth and I loved the taste of his precum. Just a quick aside, but precum tastes way different than actual cum. When you have a mans penis in your mouth he drips this sweet, slightly salty fluid that I might actually be addicted to but I have to be honest and confess I'm not in love with the taste of proper cum. I have a fetish for it and I love it, but the taste isn't the reason.

So he and I would fuck but he'd always cum inside a condom. One day I insisted he fuck me bareback so I could actually feel him inside me. We fucked every which way until I was on my belly with my butt up in the air. He was thrusting into me and I felt his rhythm and his breathing change. He moaned and said he was about to cum and pulled out. Right as he was pulling out I whipped my body around and took his cock into my mouth before he could spill a drop. I could feel his cock harden even more inside my mouth, I felt him gasp, and all of a sudden I could feel a jet of hot cum streaming past my tongue and down my throat. I just looked up at him while suckling on his cock and he had his head pointed towards the ceiling with his eyes closed. Eventually he bowed his head and our eyes met. I smiled and gave the tip of his penis a lick and a kiss.
Click to expand...

Wow, that's quite a finish... to the thread, I mean.

I think it's time for a nice, cold shower.
 
F

FeenixRising

Banned
Cumfessor here.

I masturbate at work on a regular basis. I work on one of the top floors of a very tall building in a very large American city. My cube is in the corner where I have a window that overlooks the river and a park. I masturbate through my panties at my desk. The building just looks like a reflective glass cylinder so I don't think anyone can see but I definitely get off on the fact that somebody could. This is something I do a lot. In fact I'll even sometimes take into account whether or not I plan to masturbate when I pick out my clothes for the day. Every time I'm in a meeting with my boss I fantasize getting bent over the desk and having him fuck me from behind.

I loved reading peoples reaction to my last confession. I have to confess that the thought of dozens of guys getting hard over me is a massive turn on. That's why I'm giving this confession; because I plan to finger my pussy to the responses it gets. So let me tell you about the origin of my cum fetish.

I was with my high school sweetheart. I was 17 and he was 18. I loved sucking his dick but because of my lack of experience and technique I was never able to make him cum. Still I loved the feel of it in my mouth and I loved the taste of his precum. Just a quick aside, but precum tastes way different than actual cum. When you have a mans penis in your mouth he drips this sweet, slightly salty fluid that I might actually be addicted to but I have to be honest and confess I'm not in love with the taste of proper cum. I have a fetish for it and I love it, but the taste isn't the reason.

So he and I would fuck but he'd always cum inside a condom. One day I insisted he fuck me bareback so I could actually feel him inside me. We fucked every which way until I was on my belly with my butt up in the air. He was thrusting into me and I felt his rhythm and his breathing change. He moaned and said he was about to cum and pulled out. Right as he was pulling out I whipped my body around and took his cock into my mouth before he could spill a drop. I could feel his cock harden even more inside my mouth, I felt him gasp, and all of a sudden I could feel a jet of hot cum streaming past my tongue and down my throat. I just looked up at him while suckling on his cock and he had his head pointed towards the ceiling with his eyes closed. Eventually he bowed his head and our eyes met. I smiled and gave the tip of his penis a lick and a kiss.
Click to expand...

bmnNrnZ.gif


Got me blasting Jodeci right now
 
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