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[Burger_Baron]

It is a general internet legend that when you hit 30 while being virgin, you become a mighty and powerful wizard. Now this sound cool and stuff, and easily achievable. I even said to my friends "Lets see who laughs when I graduate from Hogwarts!"

But then it occurred to me that while a lot of people talk about becoming a wizard, nobody talks about what kind of wizard.

Is it like that an owl delivers a letter and a big hairy dude comes to your door and states "Yer a wizard 'Arry!". And then you spend 6 years learning pre-defined spells? Or do you just wish for stuff and it comes true? Do you get an book of spell in postage? Does it have many schools of magic, like in Elder Scrolls, from which you choose one? And does the spells use "mana", stamina, or something else? And will it require you to stay as virgin to continue wizardry?

So many questions, and finally, the ultimate one. In the end, is it worth it?

Talk and speculate. And if there is some pointy hatted, long bearded grand wizards already among us, please share your secrets.

 

[ComputerMKII]

Drunk thread?

 

[XenodudeX]

Wizards ain't real man

 

[Aiii]

To be fair, I'm convinced many Grand Wizard's are virgins, sure.

 

[Pilgrimzero]

You become a wizard at touching yourself

 

[Dali]

I imagine a wizard who has the power to repel pussy due to its social awkwardness, ensuring another easy 30 year streak.

 

[StalkerUKCG]

This kind.

 

[Huevos de Oro]

You become a wizard, but only in a very specific way. Your one and only spell is to make women around you disappear.

On the bright side, the potency and AoE of the spell increases exponentially with time.

 

[kabel]

This kind.

So it's the counterpart of the old cat lady?


Makes sense.

 

[Your Entertainer]

you actually become a lizard

 

[Nabbis]

I think the joke is that the ability to repel women until you turn 30 needs some serious magic.

 

[joelseph]

When it happens it happens, best not to obsess over it.

 

[Log4Girlz]

A virgin wizard

 

[Kurita]

A wizard so powerful nobody except you can use your wand.

 

[Trojita]

Imagine a world where this is possible, and in order to lower the number of Wizards, men/women are contracted with screwing virgins in order to make sure they don't become wizards.

 

[squall211]

It is a general internet legend that when you hit 30 while being virgin, you become a mighty and powerful wizard. Now this sound cool and stuff, and easily achievable. I even said to my friends "Lets see who laughs when I graduate from Hogwarts!"

But then it occurred to me that while a lot of people talk about becoming a wizard, nobody talks about what kind of wizard.

Is it like that an owl delivers a letter and a big hairy dude comes to your door and states "Yer a wizard 'Arry!". And then you spend 6 years learning pre-defined spells? Or do you just wish for stuff and it comes true? Do you get an book of spell in postage? Does it have many schools of magic, like in Elder Scrolls, from which you choose one? And does the spells use "mana", stamina, or something else? And will it require you to stay as virgin to continue wizardry?

So many questions, and finally, the ultimate one. In the end, is it worth it?

Talk and speculate. And if there is some pointy hatted, long bearded grand wizards already among us, please share your secrets.

I'm 37 and a virgin. I can attest that the powers you attain as a wizard aren't worth it.

 

[themagicalkitsune]

Have you read the Harry Potter books? Literally everyone scores while in Hogwarts.

 

[Menome]

A Sex Wizard of course.

 

[Currygan]

 

[vatstep]

The Wizard of Loneliness

 

[StriKeVillain]

A wizard so powerful nobody except you can use your wand.

Bang.

 

[Floridian]

I may be a Harry Potter fan but I'm not that dedicated to go to Hogwarts.

 

[MiszMasz]

I am the big hairy dude that turns up at your house, all I do is hand you a Magic: The Gathering starter box before moving on.

 

[Dyno]

Such a terrible biological failure. To be deemed unsuitable for procreation by society at large. What a shameful tragedy and a sad waste of humanity.

 

[Cymbal Head]

Such a terrible biological failure. To be deemed unsuitable for procreation by society at large. What a shameful tragedy and a sad waste of humanity.

lol gtfo

 

[NEO0MJ]

Imagine a world where this is possible, and in order to lower the number of Wizards, men/women are contracted with screwing virgins in order to make sure they don't become wizards.

I'm pretty sure there's an anime about this.

 

[GK86]

Go get some fresh air, OP.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

A Sex Wizard of course.

Is that the boss from IT crowd?

 

[Cizeta-Moroder]

Such a terrible biological failure. To be deemed unsuitable for procreation by society at large. What a shameful tragedy and a sad waste of humanity.

We really need an organized institution for creep extermination, that would please all parties.

 

[cajunator]

Im 32 and a virgin. Actually I could hold out indefinitely. Not even a challenge.

 

[FortuneFaded]

I really want to know who he was wanking over now. Damn you clickbait!

 

[Dereck]

You become a hero of Arcadia

 

[Captcha]

A Sex Wizard of course.

This picture is so confusing. It's Christmas but he's in a toga and there's a platinum record behind him. I don't know what to feel right now.

 

[GameplayWhore]

You actually get to choose. I chose "social wizard", which resulted in me losing the virginity after all not long after. Fortunately, losing virginity doesn't make your new-found powers vanish. This is particularly nice, because playing the "Which continent have I 'done'?" game is pretty great. I'm lacking on Australia and Antarctica. The former's still a technical possibility, but the latter is generally very hard. Still... both my girlfriend's father and her brother-in-law have been there, so can I claim a technicality?

(I do not envy those who chose the "game testing" specialization of wizardry at 30)

 

[MisterR]

Most likely a strange, socially awkward type of wizard.

 

[terrisus]

You're a wizard, Harry.

 

[SpinningBirdKick]

When you hit 30 as a virgin, you become a wizard. But what kind of wizard?

This type of wizard: I put on my robe and wizard hat...

 

[G.ZZZ]

Dark magic as far as i know. The possibilities are endless.

 

[Coinspinner]

I'm 31 but didn't get wizard powers. Not even magic cards. Does that mean someone... touched me... while I was unaware?

 

[maomaoIYP]

I don't believe any of us in the covenant of wizards are here by choice.
Me? Level 4 Wizard. I can cast erecta-penorz with my tome of porno.

 

[Finaika]

Wizard of sex.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

An angry wizard.

 

[Secks4Food]

A necrowizard:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8cPTlFpx9o

 

[K.Sabot]

I know some wizards that have chosen the path.

I hear you get sick fire spells.

 

[zoukka]

Im 32 and a virgin. Actually I could hold out indefinitely. Not even a challenge.

Yep it's quite easy to not do something.

 

[collige]

Have you read the Harry Potter books? Literally everyone scores while in Hogwarts.

I just finished rereading them and I'm quite sure that Luna, Crabbe, and Goyle never scored.

 

[terrisus]

 

[air jordans for dogs]

Im 32 and a virgin. Actually I could hold out indefinitely. Not even a challenge.

 

[fallengorn]

You become a wizard at touching yourself

I shoot a magic missile into the darkness.

 

[GifGafIsTheBestGaf]

gray wizard then i suppose you become a white wizard?