When you hit 30 as a virgin, you become a wizard. But what kind of wizard?

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Out of Working Order said:
Well, as a 29 year old virgin, I can honestly say I'd rather have had sex throughout my 20's than become a wizard, no matter how powerful.

I don't feel like a sexual being, despite wanting to experience it. I feel irrelevant and broken. It's a natural, normal part of adult life. People explore their sexualities, and enjoy it. It's everywhere. For whatever reason, it's never happened for me. I am not ugly. I have never had a social life, which no doubt has played a huge role in my situation, and is also another reason why I feel so worthless and unfulfilled.

As far as I am concerned, there's only one thing to do at this point. Comments in threads like these along the lines of 'at 30, it's never going to happen for you' just add to the agony. 'Well, I have sex every month, so going 30 years is definitely wizardry' is just making a mockery of people like me. It's not funny, and it's a pretty horrible way to experience life. It's awful.
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Your sexual history does not determine your worth buddy.
 
Out of Working Order said:
Well, as a 29 year old virgin, I can honestly say I'd rather have had sex throughout my 20's than become a wizard, no matter how powerful.

I don't feel like a sexual being, despite wanting to experience it. I feel irrelevant and broken. It's a natural, normal part of adult life. People explore their sexualities, and enjoy it. It's everywhere. For whatever reason, it's never happened for me. I am not ugly. I have never had a social life, which no doubt has played a huge role in my situation, and is also another reason why I feel so worthless and unfulfilled.

As far as I am concerned, there's only one thing to do at this point. Comments in threads like these along the lines of 'at 30, it's never going to happen for you' just add to the agony. 'Well, I have sex every month, so going 30 years is definitely wizardry' is just making a mockery of people like me. It's not funny, and it's a pretty horrible way to experience life. It's awful.
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You also can't exactly blame others for trying to be humorous. Sorry it offends you, but why come into the thread when it's a trigger warning for you?
 
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Out of Working Order said:
Well, as a 29 year old virgin, I can honestly say I'd rather have had sex throughout my 20's than become a wizard, no matter how powerful.

I don't feel like a sexual being, despite wanting to experience it. I feel irrelevant and broken. It's a natural, normal part of adult life. People explore their sexualities, and enjoy it. It's everywhere. For whatever reason, it's never happened for me. I am not ugly. I have never had a social life, which no doubt has played a huge role in my situation, and is also another reason why I feel so worthless and unfulfilled.

As far as I am concerned, there's only one thing to do at this point. Comments in threads like these along the lines of 'at 30, it's never going to happen for you' just add to the agony. 'Well, I have sex every month, so going 30 years is definitely wizardry' is just making a mockery of people like me. It's not funny, and it's a pretty horrible way to experience life. It's awful.
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*shrug* I'm in the same boat with lack of sociability and self-worth, but I'm able to laugh about it
 
Out of Working Order said:
Well, as a 29 year old virgin, I can honestly say I'd rather have had sex throughout my 20's than become a wizard, no matter how powerful.

I don't feel like a sexual being, despite wanting to experience it. I feel irrelevant and broken. It's a natural, normal part of adult life. People explore their sexualities, and enjoy it. It's everywhere. For whatever reason, it's never happened for me. I am not ugly. I have never had a social life, which no doubt has played a huge role in my situation, and is also another reason why I feel so worthless and unfulfilled.

As far as I am concerned, there's only one thing to do at this point. Comments in threads like these along the lines of 'at 30, it's never going to happen for you' just add to the agony. 'Well, I have sex every month, so going 30 years is definitely wizardry' is just making a mockery of people like me. It's not funny, and it's a pretty horrible way to experience life. It's awful.
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Sure, plenty of people are insensitive toward virgins (for those of who it's a big deal for) but not everyone is nor does everyone care that much. There's enough successful virgins out there even among celebrities that the presence of such shouldn't be a threat to one's self worth when thinking about it logically (which is of course tough when your self-esteem is already shot, but that's not exclusive to virgins).

Just stay out of virginity threads if you feel you're being mocked.
 
Azulsky said:
Your sexual history does not determine your worth buddy.
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It tells you a lot about how desirable you are to the opposite sex.

Frankensteiner said:
You also can't exactly blame others for trying to be humorous. Sorry it offends you, but why come into the thread when it's a trigger warning for you?
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You're right, I really shouldn't come into these threads.

How About No said:
*shrug* I'm in the same boat with lack of sociability and self-worth, but I'm able to laugh about it
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I can't laugh about it. It's the source of so much misery - how could I?
 
cosmicblizzard said:
Sure, plenty of people are insensitive toward virgins (for those of who it's a big deal for) but not everyone is nor does everyone care that much. There's enough successful virgins out there even among celebrities that the presence of such shouldn't be a threat to one's self worth when thinking about it logically (which is of course tough when your self-esteem is already shot, but that's not exclusive to virgins).

Just stay out of virginity threads if you feel you're being mocked.
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Why? Virgins know better than anyone, and the threads ARE mocking, just for some reason they aren't met with the swift banhammers usually associated with threads like these where a group of people are being messed with. I guess all the virgins should stay out of these threads so it could just be a circle jerk of LULZ for everyone involved!
 
Out of Working Order said:
Well, as a 29 year old virgin, I can honestly say I'd rather have had sex throughout my 20's than become a wizard, no matter how powerful.

I don't feel like a sexual being, despite wanting to experience it. I feel irrelevant and broken. It's a natural, normal part of adult life. People explore their sexualities, and enjoy it. It's everywhere. For whatever reason, it's never happened for me. I am not ugly. I have never had a social life, which no doubt has played a huge role in my situation, and is also another reason why I feel so worthless and unfulfilled.

As far as I am concerned, there's only one thing to do at this point. Comments in threads like these along the lines of 'at 30, it's never going to happen for you' just add to the agony. 'Well, I have sex every month, so going 30 years is definitely wizardry' is just making a mockery of people like me. It's not funny, and it's a pretty horrible way to experience life. It's awful.
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I hope this doesn't mean what I think it does.

Is having sex really that important to you? :(
 
ShyGuy0504 said:
I hope this doesn't mean what I think it does.

Is having sex really that important to you? :(
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It is not the sex as much as it is at a certain age sex becomes synonymous with your ability to find relationships and so the two just blend together as a source of unhappiness. Yeah sure I could go spend 400 on a hot escort but that's not the source of my problems. Virgin is byproduct of not connecting with people.
 
~Kinggi~ said:
It is not the sex as much as it is at a certain age sex becomes synonymous with your ability to find relationships and so the two just blend together as a source of unhappiness. Yeah sure I could go spend 400 on a hot escort but that's not the source of my problems. Virgin is byproduct of not connecting with people.
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How are you irl? How do you act around women you like?
 
~Kinggi~ said:
Why? Virgins know better than anyone, and the threads ARE mocking, just for some reason they aren't met with the swift banhammers usually associated with threads like these where a group of people are being messed with. I guess all the virgins should stay out of these threads so it could just be a circle jerk of LULZ for everyone involved!
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I never said that. There are enough virgins in here including myself that are either ignoring any malicious posts or not taking them seriously.

I'm just saying that not everyone is capable of keeping their cool when they see it as an attack on them, intentional or not. As great as it would be if everyone could laugh at themselves, not everyone is like that. There's no reason to get stressed out over that stuff when it can easily be ignored like a lot of awful things in life that you can't change (referring to malicious opinions of virgins here, not the notion of someone never being able to lose it).
 
Frankensteiner said:
No need to be all woe is me. Not all prostitutes have STDs, and you won't get one if you're not stupid and practice safe sex.. A lot of sex are just one time deals, virgin before so or not. You can avoid legal trouble if you're not stupid. And you won't get hooked on it if you have good will power.

I really don't see an issue aside from maybe hurt pride, which I imagine is already that way if you overvalue sex and have yet to have it. It really seems like you want to find intimacy more so than sex, which is very understandable and relatable. Yet at the same time you have a big issue with yet to have the act without intimacy. So unless you enjoy the misery you put on yourself and love to complain about it, I really don't see why you don't just get it over with and find an escort that fits what you're looking for.
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Condoms aren't guaranteed to work one hundred percent of time and the line of thinking of don't be stupid about it, is the same mentality criminals have who think they're untouchable if they do things a certain way. There are random factors that equate to this that are out of your control.
 
Vermillion said:
Please don't do this man.
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I get that they're on two completely different planets when it comes to the weight they carry (racism is rooted in much more violence, bigotry, etc.), but it's not a horrible analogy to make. I don't get why some forms of bullying and shaming are a-ok while others are horrible. Slut shaming is a bad thing and is a serious issue in our society, but the opposite end of it - virgin shaming, isn't? Just because less people are affected doesn't mean it's okay to bully those people.

EDIT: I'm not saying that you can't make jokes about it. People make racist jokes, gay jokes, slut jokes etc all the time. But when it's serious, making fun of virgins seems to be accepted by society for no obvious reason.
 
~Kinggi~ said:
It is not the sex as much as it is at a certain age sex becomes synonymous with your ability to find relationships and so the two just blend together as a source of unhappiness. Yeah sure I could go spend 400 on a hot escort but that's not the source of my problems. Virgin is byproduct of not connecting with people.
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Fucking some chick still doesn't ensure you're going to connect with the person on any meaningful level. Stressing so hard about sex isn't going to benefit you in any way if you're looking for deeper social connection. If sex is tantamount to success in a relationship, then I dunno homie, that's a pretty bleak perspective.

Just do you, fuck the sex. If you feel society has it out for you then put yourself out there and show them they're wrong. The worst thing to do is just assume failure. Society really doesn't hate you, more than likely it just doesn't give a fuck about you, but its the same for all of us though. In any case that's the same group of people you're going to have to wade through to find someone to connect with, so just don't worry so hard.
 
~Kinggi~ said:
Why? Virgins know better than anyone, and the threads ARE mocking, just for some reason they aren't met with the swift banhammers usually associated with threads like these where a group of people are being messed with. I guess all the virgins should stay out of these threads so it could just be a circle jerk of LULZ for everyone involved!
Click to expand...

Then why continue to come into these threads to feel sorry for yourself? Enough so that you're asking for everybody to get banned when they're just trying to be comedic and have fun with the subject?
 
RatskyWatsky said:
hmmm
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If you want to go there, I've similarly ignored anti-Semitic comments directed at myself because I know said people were so rooted in their beliefs that saying anything wouldn't do anything.

Virgin-shaming, fat-shaming, homophobia, racism; all of these are awful things that should be dissuaded whenever possible. Unfortunately, not everyone will listen. It's your choice if you want to engage them over it or not, and maybe you'll even successfully educate them on how harmful their views and words can be. But not everyone is that open to the idea, and provided they don't do anything violent, all we can do is continue to chastise them for it.
 
I'll let you know what kind of wizard I turn into in 2018.

Hopefully by then I'll have the money to fly to Vegas and go to a brothel. That's pretty much my only hope at this point.
 
Wreck-It Ralph said:
I'll let you know what kind of wizard I turn into in 2018.

Hopefully by then I'll have the money to fly to Vegas and go to a brothel. That's pretty much my only hope at this point.
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Eh, if you think it will help, go ahead, but if you're in a place with decent population density OKCupid or PoF will do wonders, and a few "successes", however low the bar may be, will do a lot towards changing your worldview and gaining some perspective.
 
cosmicblizzard said:
If you want to go there, I've similarly ignored anti-Semitic comments directed at myself because I know said people were so rooted in their beliefs that saying anything wouldn't do anything.

Virgin-shaming, fat-shaming, homophobia, racism; all of these are awful things that should be dissuaded whenever possible. Unfortunately, not everyone will listen. It's your choice if you want to engage them over it or not, and maybe you'll even successfully educate them on how harmful their views and words can be. But not everyone is that open to the idea, and provided they don't do anything violent, all we can do is continue to chastise them for it.
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I mean, sure. In real life that can often be a healthful attitude to take. (re: ignoring bigots and just going about your life)

But should should this sort of shaming/bullying be tolerated on GAF? Even if it's just for the lulz?
 
Neoweee said:
Eh, if you think it will help, go ahead, but if you're in a place with decent population density OKCupid or PoF will do wonders, and a few "successes", however low the bar may be, will do a lot towards changing your worldview and gaining some perspective.
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lol

I've tried both OKC and PoF and I never get any replies. I have literally messaged everyone in my area with a 90+% match rating on OKC and gotten no replies. Also tried Tinder and never got any matches despite swiping right for everyone.

I'm just fat and ugly and nobody could possibly be attracted to me.
 
Wreck-It Ralph said:
lol

I've tried both OKC and PoF and I never get any replies. I have literally messaged everyone in my area with a 90+% match rating on OKC and gotten no replies. Also tried Tinder and never got any matches despite swiping right for everyone.

I'm just fat and ugly and nobody could possibly be attracted to me.
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Try using someone else's picture. The moment I did that I got six messages in a couple of days.
 
RatskyWatsky said:
I mean, sure. In real life that can often be a healthful attitude to take. (re: ignoring bigots and just going about your life)

But should should this sort of shaming/bullying be tolerated on GAF? Even if it's just for the lulz?
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If that's what you're getting at, then I agree. Hell, I'd love it to be bannable.
 
~Kinggi~ said:
It is not the sex as much as it is at a certain age sex becomes synonymous with your ability to find relationships and so the two just blend together as a source of unhappiness. Yeah sure I could go spend 400 on a hot escort but that's not the source of my problems. Virgin is byproduct of not connecting with people.
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Instead of coming into threads and angrily posting about your virginity and how youll be stuck with it forever, why not ask for advice or do some self reflection? Change aspects of yourself or your behavior instead of angrily wallowing and hurting yourself. I dont mean to come off as standoffish or a dick, this is an honest inquiry.
 
Exr said:
Instead of coming into threads and angrily posting about your virginity and how youll be stuck with it forever, why not ask for advice or do some self reflection? Change aspects of yourself or your behavior instead of angrily wallowing and hurting yourself.
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effort tho
 
Cheesehead9099 said:
I get that they're on two completely different planets when it comes to the weight they carry (racism is rooted in much more violence, bigotry, etc.), but it's not a horrible analogy to make. I don't get why some forms of bullying and shaming are a-ok while others are horrible. Slut shaming is a bad thing and is a serious issue in our society, but the opposite end of it - virgin shaming, isn't? Just because less people are affected doesn't mean it's okay to bully those people.

EDIT: I'm not saying that you can't make jokes about it. People make racist jokes, gay jokes, slut jokes etc all the time. But when it's serious, making fun of virgins seems to be accepted by society for no obvious reason.
Click to expand...

RatskyWatsky said:
or sexism, homophobia, fat shaming, ableism, ageism, etc.

my point is that "its just the way it is, just ignore it" is not a good attitude to take
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Comparing it to racism and whatnot weakens the point. Just state the point.
 
Sai-kun said:
wow, you've got a horrible attitude
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Just want to make it perfectly clear I'm in no way supportive of virgin-shaming in any capacity. Hell, I got shit on all throughout college for being a virgin, including from a girl I liked who ended up dating my roommate and fucking right above me while I tried to sleep. It's not pleasant, but at some point I just stopped caring and became happier as a result.

Sure, mainstream attitude on it could use some work, but I do believe things have gotten better, and in my experience, people really don't care that much if you reveal you're a virgin. At least not since college.
 
Exr said:
Yeah, makes it hard to sympathize with most when it comes down to this.
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There are some people with severe mental or physical issues that prevent them from creating relationships or getting close enough to someone to have sex.

But a lot of people are just afraid to try and afraid of rejection. Or they have depression issues that haven't been sorted out yet.

The vast, vast majority of people can find others who will have sex with them if they desire it enough to put themselves out there and try.
 
Exr said:
Instead of coming into threads and angrily posting about your virginity and how youll be stuck with it forever, why not ask for advice or do some self reflection? Change aspects of yourself or your behavior instead of angrily wallowing and hurting yourself. I dont mean to come off as standoffish or a dick, this is an honest inquiry.
Click to expand...

In my experience, most people who only complain and never ask for advice tend to be those who don't really wanna change their status and enjoy the complaining.

Not trying to throw shots, but can't help but be reminded of others who do the same.
 
People suggesting prostitutes are missing the point. In most cases, it is not really about the sex. For me, at least, it is about getting to an intimacy level with someone where the person wants to have sex with me.

That's why sex was never my focus. My focus is to be able to connect and form a healthy relationship with someone, having mutual care for each other. Then sex will naturally come (lol), unless the person I'm dating is asexual.

It bothers me much more that I never had a girlfriend than that I never had sex, to be honest. But at least it gave me motivation to go and make many positive changes in my life. And I've also made a lot of progress with girls in the past couple of years.
 
ShyGuy0504 said:
I hope this doesn't mean what I think it does.

Is having sex really that important to you? :(
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Serious question? Of course it's damned important. I've never experienced a certain type of love (romantic love), intimacy, or sex simply for pleasure (knowing I can can get a woman off). At 30, it's damaging.

~Kinggi~ said:
It is not the sex as much as it is at a certain age sex becomes synonymous with your ability to find relationships and so the two just blend together as a source of unhappiness. Yeah sure I could go spend 400 on a hot escort but that's not the source of my problems. Virgin is byproduct of not connecting with people.
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Precisely this.

Exr said:
Yeah, makes it hard to sympathize with most when it comes down to this.
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You make the assumption he's made no effort.
 
Out of Working Order said:
Well, as a 29 year old virgin, I can honestly say I'd rather have had sex throughout my 20's than become a wizard, no matter how powerful.

I don't feel like a sexual being, despite wanting to experience it. I feel irrelevant and broken. It's a natural, normal part of adult life. People explore their sexualities, and enjoy it. It's everywhere. For whatever reason, it's never happened for me. I am not ugly. I have never had a social life, which no doubt has played a huge role in my situation, and is also another reason why I feel so worthless and unfulfilled.

As far as I am concerned, there's only one thing to do at this point. Comments in threads like these along the lines of 'at 30, it's never going to happen for you' just add to the agony. 'Well, I have sex every month, so going 30 years is definitely wizardry' is just making a mockery of people like me. It's not funny, and it's a pretty horrible way to experience life. It's awful.
Click to expand...

I honestly feel sorry for people like you. Not because you're a virgin (I am one myself), but because you feel like you're less because of it. Virginity and relationships in general are totally inconsequential to the worth of somebody and how fulfilled a life they can live.

The first part is just a matter of fact. Sticking your penis in another person's orifice is only a measure of worth/success to animals that mindlessly live to reproduce. The second part is more of a mental thing. If your mindset has it that sex and relationships are needed to be a whole person, then of course you'll feel down by being a virgin. Whether that outlook is your own or one pushed upon you by friends, family, religion, or society in general I can't say. Mindsets can be changed though... albeit not always easily.

As for myself, I couldn't care less about my own virginity. Sexual urges are easily enough dealt with without the aid of another person. I've had opportunities to get rid of it if I wanted to, but I didn't go down those paths. I have no interest in getting rid of it just to get rid of it; if I do get rid of it, it'll be in a relationship I plan on keeping. Linked to that, I'm not interested in getting into a relationship at this point in my life for various reasons. (One being the recognition that my own selfishness currently wouldn't allow me to easily compromise to the extent that I should in one. I enjoy my complete freedom.) Should I end up never getting into one... C'est la vie.
 
None, wizards and magic aren't real. Otherwise I would be shooting bolts of lightning from my ass. Then again, give me some mexican food and I can probably at least shoot fire (feels like it anways)...
 
Becoming a wizard means you are now a powerful being, with high confidence, athletic physic and almighty knowledge. You could get laid at anytime easily, but you have the power to not do it and craft a better world instead.

Yeah... that's totally why I don't have a girlfriend.
 
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