Support NeoGAF

[bcl0328]

snip

thanks for all your advice. i think i'm going to just ask her out friday and if i don't get a yes or an alternate day, i just need to break it off. she is messing with my emotions and i can't take that anymore.

I posted din here the other day, but I'm a little wasted and need to vent. I'm fucking loney. Been this way for way too long. I'm only 18, and I've been told that I should worry but I never really had the typical teen years because my dad has als and I didn't got to a big school. Now I don't have enough confidence to talk to people in collecollege. What the fuck do I do? Am I just going to be alone? I'd give anything to just have somebody who cared. It's not even like I'm fat and a fedora tipping asshole. I just don't approach people, and that smy downgall. What do I do gaf? I feel like I'm stuck in a never ending room of shit and can't get out.

try some dating apps like tinder, okcupid, hinge.

 

[ClosingADoor]

So what the fuck do I do now? Any ideas guys?

Do I just pretend this shit never happened and go on with my life?

Sounds like a sitcom situation there. I would have taken my own 150 and bought it, picked up the money there later. If you didn't have that around, just wait, get the money and sent her the item. You should at least do that, even if she doesn't talk anymore to you, otherwise you're stealing it in the end for real.

After that, ask yourself, do you want a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you? I can kind of get why she would be suspicious, but still. If you want to give it a shot, sent a text a few days after sending the item asking if she received it all right. If she replies, good. If not, move on.

 

[Branson]

My gf of two years broke up with me on Sunday. Undeniably upset only because I felt we were great together and she felt different for some reason. She basically said she didn't feel like it was going to last and doesn't see us getting married. She recently started going back to church and wanted different things in her life. Idk. It's complicated. I'm pretty devastated. How do you guys distract yourself from shit like this? Ive already went through this before with a fiancée of 5 years and this time feels just as bad.

 

[PflargBlarg]

I need some help guys.
For the past 3 months, I was really into this girl. She lived far away from me, but we talked everyday on the phone, texting, skype, and in-person when possible. She sends me $150 dollars because she wants me to buy her something that I can only get in my area (lets not get into what, for the sake of anonymity). So at this point, I'm supposed to get what she wants and mail it to her, I've done this before a few times so it wasn't a big deal.

So I had her cash, left it in a safe spot in my university apartment and planned to get what she wanted. Then suddenly some shit comes up in my family life and I have to go home for winter break earlier than usual (yeah, I missed finals and shit too -_-)

Well, I was so distracted by the family problems that I forgot to get her money out of my place before they closed up for winter break. You know the deal, the dorms and apartments at the school close up and everyone goes home for like 3 and a half weeks.

Well, anyway, she thinks I stole her money and refuses to believe that I can't get into to my college place until January 7. Her last text to me was pretty bad. She's basically says I'm a liar, and that I should forget about ever talking to her again and that she refuses to have relationship with me now.

So fuck me bros, I was really into this girl. I thought I'd finally found the greatest girl. And all because of a fucked up family situation, she thinks I stole her cash. She refuses to believe me and she won't talk to me anymore either.

So what the fuck do I do now? Any ideas guys?

Do I just pretend this shit never happened and go on with my life?

Wonder if she had something happen that made her so untrusting. Your description of the problem to her sounds pretty reasonable. Anyway, what you need to do is once you have access to the money again, buy the item and send it to her. She'll either get over her issue and keep moving forward with you, or you'll be over with her anyway. Doesn't really matter, send it to her.

 

[SharkJAW]

My gf of two years broke up with me on Sunday. Undeniably upset only because I felt we were great together and she felt different for some reason. She basically said she didn't feel like it was going to last and doesn't see us getting married. She recently started going back to church and wanted different things in her life. Idk. It's complicated. I'm pretty devastated. How do you guys distract yourself from shit like this? Ive already went through this before with a fiancée of 5 years and this time feels just as bad.

In situations like this, I like to throw myself right back into the mix. I just went through a break up myself that had similar circumstances to yours and having casual encounters helps A LOT. They don't have to be romantic or sexual, either. Just meeting new people, experiencing new things, and having fun is enough to distract you from your feelings. There's always gonna be a time where it feels like utter shit after a break up, but believe me when I say you bounce back quicker as you go on.

 

[Foshy]

Nope. I feel like I'd be too shy for anything g like that. I have a hard enough time around people I've seen before. And I don't have a photogenic face (moderate acne that I can clear up sometimes, it runs in the fam, I think it's stress related) so I don't know how far id get with that. I just feel like I'm too self consious for that stuff you know.

Just go for it. I'm a bit like you I guess; I'm 19 and not very extroverted or particularly good looking either. Got on Tinder a few weeks ago and it's really not that scary. You have nothing to lose, really, just look at it as a fun diversion. Don't expect tons of matches (well I guess it depends on your area too), but you'll probably get to know some people at the very least.

I met up with a girl for lunch a few days before Christmas, then we just kept texting and went to her place to build a snowman and watch Frozen last Sunday. I don't think there's more than a casual friendship coming out of this, but it's been pretty fun anyway.

 

[DutchNeon]

Is there a "minimum time" when you want to ask a girl out? I've got to know a new girl at work (the one I mentioned 2 pages ago and who is Christian) and I want to ask her out. I've only got to know her for 2 weeks now (she has started working 2 weeks ago at where I work) and we've talked like 3 times or so.

Now, I won't know when I will see her again (probably next week) but we've been chatting a bit on Facebook in the mean time. As some kind of new year thing, I thought it was a good idea to ask her out tomorrow (indirect or direct) while wishing her happy new year over Facebook (don't have another way as I don't have her telephone number).

It's kind of of a non-personal way but I'm a bit affraid I'll wait too long as she is showing me some signs that she likes me too. Any thoughts? I'm guessing I'm just overthinking this and should just do it

 

[Branson]

In situations like this, I like to throw myself right back into the mix. I just went through a break up myself that had similar circumstances to yours and having casual encounters helps A LOT. They don't have to be romantic or sexual, either. Just meeting new people, experiencing new things, and having fun is enough to distract you from your feelings. There's always gonna be a time where it feels like utter shit after a break up, but believe me when I say you bounce back quicker as you go on.

Thanks. I just hate this part of it, thinking how I could have done things better, fixed parts of myself, all of the good times/sex and things we would say. In all of this though I joined a gym for the first time. I felt like I needed to get this out in a postive way for once since last time I just didn't sleep or eat and just be upset all of the time.

I hate the bad days with a passion too. The sting of letting her get away, and knowing she'll be with someone else to experience those things about her. It's frustrating and difficult.

 

[GK86]

Is there a "minimum time" when you want to ask a girl out? I've got to know a new girl at work (the one I mentioned 2 pages ago and who is Christian) and I want to ask her out. I've only got to know her for 2 weeks now (she has started working 2 weeks ago at where I work) and we've talked like 3 times or so.

Now, I won't know when I will see her again (probably next week) but we've been chatting a bit on Facebook in the mean time. As some kind of new year thing, I thought it was a good idea to ask her out tomorrow (indirect or direct) while wishing her happy new year over Facebook (don't have another way as I don't have her telephone number).

It's kind of of a non-personal way but I'm a bit affraid I'll wait too long as she is showing me some signs that she likes me too. Any thoughts? I'm guessing I'm just overthinking this and should just do it

Be direct, let your intentions be known, when asking her out. Also, I would suggest doing it in person.

 

[DutchNeon]

I should probably rephrase indirect. Indirect as in she made a joke about that she would be the only one wanting to listen to my stories at work today if she would be working with me. I'm known that I talk too much. My co workers make jokes about it but she likes to talk to me nonetheless. She had to work somewhere else today so I thought of using that to ask her out.

 

[SharkJAW]

Thanks. I just hate this part of it, thinking how I could have done things better, fixed parts of myself, all of the good times/sex and things we would say. In all of this though I joined a gym for the first time. I felt like I needed to get this out in a postive way for once since last time I just didn't sleep or eat and just be upset all of the time.

I hate the bad days with a passion too. The sting of letting her get away, and knowing she'll be with someone else to experience those things about her. It's frustrating and difficult.

I know the pain. A lot of us here have been through it, and for all we know it may happen again. One day, though, it may prove to be worth it.

Great that you joined a gym! The gym is a great recipe for helping with confidence, reducing stress, and setting/reaching goals (all while being good for your health!). I wish you the best!

When it comes to the whole "thinking of her with someone else", I totally know how you feel. It really does help to have "someone else" of your own at that time, so you're more concerned with yourself and building new relationships, rather than dealing with the past. I think it's good to look back and realize that there were good times, but if it didn't work out, it didn't and you'll just have to roll with the punches.

 

[bcl0328]

i think it's over bros, i asked her to go out friday and got no response. i had to send her a message though since i won't see her today or tomorrow and i can't call since we can't have cell phones at work.

new years is going to suck =[

 

[Valus]

You say she is generally fun to be around with girl #2 but is not very talkative. You need to try to uncover at least why that is if you don't know already. Do you both zone out together when you play video games and kind of coexist in a bad way? It seems like girl #1 you'd never be fully satisfied with. It just also depends on how long you've known the both of them. But I hear you on dilemmas like that, it's always so tough to choose.

The first one: The bad breath can be controlled and even eliminated, so that's something you can work on. As for the having in common thing, usually those kinds of relationships when they work, they make you go out of your comfort zone and experiment new things.

As for the second one, I don't think she is into you. She may be a real introvert and those take effort. Thing is, if she isn't into you from the start, getting her interested is really hard.

Thanks for the advice guys. I'm thinking about forgoing #1 and taking a risk with #2. Lucky is right that I need to figure out why she is that way. Was she burned hard in the past and therefore is slow to trust/open up? I can work with that. Is that simply just the way she is? Possibly a deal breaker. Call me selfish but I enjoy affection and the validation that comes with it.

I can see why it sounds like #2 isn't really into me, NeOak. And you may be right, but I'm really not sure yet. I met her back in October and after going on several dates with me she sort of fell off the radar. The only reason why we got back in touch recently was because FB told me it was her bday and I just sent her a quick "happy bday, hope all is well" sorta thing, and she was surprisingly receptive of it. We've met up a few times since then and she apologized for disappearing before, said there was nothing wrong with me, etc. Not giving her a pass on it, but if she really wasn't interested in me she could have just ignored my happy bday text and move on with her life, right? Instead she's met up with me numerous times since then and made out with me yesterday.

It's very odd imo. I'm used to girls that are interested in me to show affection, reach out to me, ask me how I'm doing, and other simple bs that just comes with the beginning of relationships. But this girl doesn't do any of that. We make plans to meet and basically go radio silent till the day of. She never flakes, and appears to enjoy herself when she's with me. I keep correlating her lack of contact with a sign that she's not interested, but I don't know if that's really the case.

Have either of you two or anyone else dated someone like that? Did they change? Open up and become more affectionate over time?

 

[Dragoon X Omega]

Hey GAF,

I want to see your input and see if it's good or not.

I chatted with this girl from OkCupid a few weeks ago things went well and she said she's going to quit her profile because she couldn't find any good guys in town and she gave me her number. So her profile was deleted and got her number.

We texted back and forth and I told her if she wants to grab a coffee on Saturday the 20th. During that day she texted me 8 hours before the date saying that her friend's mother invited her to go see the comedy show in other town. She said "Can you take the rain check?" and I said "sure." and we still texted each day but not much because I know how texting can ruin the fun. Found out that she lived ONE block away from me!

Fast forward to last Friday, I asked her if she wants to get a coffee and she said "Sure! can we do it on Sunday at 4? and you can go to my house and we can go together" and I told her "Want to go to Starbucks?" and she said "I would rather have Coffee Bean" and I said "sure" and I got all ready and waited for her to get off work at 4. She texted saying "I'm here" and we went to downtown to grab a coffee. When we arrived she said "Is Starbucks in the corner right?" and I said "yeah, I thought you want to go to Coffee Bean. It's right 3 stores down." and she said "I'm okay, I'll have Starbucks."

So we chatted about from 5 - 8. Before we got in the line and I told her that I'm hard of hearing (deaf) and she said "oh, that's okay! Not a problem." We chatted and I can hear her clearly and understandable. She was looking at me and listen to me carefully when I talk. I looked at her and not paying attention to other people or phone. She asked many questions about me. I've caught her playing with her hair and smiling at me.

Then we decided to go because it was crowded and loud. She said "Want to go to my place and I'll show you around." and I went to her place and we chatted until 11:00 pm. I gave her a hug and walked home. Texted her telling her I arrived home. She said "I had a good time with you. Goodnight "

At work on the next day, I texted her back saying "I had a great time with you yesterday night. I like your high caliber. I would like to see you again." and she texted back saying "Hola! Work was busy! I had a good time with you too. You seem like a genuine guy. Maybe we can hang out on Thursday afternoon. I have a busy schedule from December 29-31." (I remember she mentions that she will work 8 am to 11 pm on those days when we chatted at her place.)

Sorry for a long message but I wanted to share what happened so far. I'm 30 and she's 33.

So what do you think?

Thanks!

 

[Coda]

It's very odd imo. I'm used to girls that are interested in me to show affection, reach out to me, ask me how I'm doing, and other simple bs that just comes with the beginning of relationships. But this girl doesn't do any of that. We make plans to meet and basically go radio silent till the day of. She never flakes, and appears to enjoy herself when she's with me. I keep correlating her lack of contact with a sign that she's not interested, but I don't know if that's really the case.

Have either of you two or anyone else dated someone like that? Did they change? Open up and become more affectionate over time?

Yeah there are definitely two camps with women in terms of how they choose and limit their communication. I've been having some struggles in terms of finding a lady who I'm into and likes to communicate. Nerdy women who love to text you constantly about cool things is a plus in my book. It is good that you two kind of do the radio silent till the day of and she never bails, that shows a lot of character and shows an easy understanding of situations.

I'm kind of in a similar situation with this girl I've been talking to through initially through okcupid who was going through a rough breakup. I believe they have broken up now but they were dating for 8 years so I'm pretty sure I shouldn't f with that. Either way it's a distraction until I find someone else, it may flourish into something in the future but I'm definitely not holding my breath or waiting around. Unfortunately we haven't been able to make plans yet which is why I'm hesitant to even do so, but she's sweet and apologies for being busy and we talk on the phone sometimes.

It's actually my birthday today so with that and the New Years there's some mega reflection going on in my life.

 

[bcl0328]

At work on the next day, I texted her back saying "I had a great time with you yesterday night. I like your high caliber. I would like to see you again." and she texted back saying "Hola! Work was busy! I had a good time with you too. You seem like a genuine guy. Maybe we can hang out on Thursday afternoon. I have a busy schedule from December 29-31." (I remember she mentions that she will work 8 am to 11 pm on those days when we chatted at her place.)

girl told me the same thing. asked her out again and i'm just ignored. seems like they will just say stuff like that because they are nice and don't want to hurt your feelings.

 

[~Kinggi~]

girl told me the same thing. asked her out again and i'm just ignored. seems like they will just say stuff like that because they are nice and don't want to hurt your feelings.

That in a nutshell is why I abandoned online dating after 6 months or so. I cared too much and put too much into it. Im not the type that can do things and half-ass it, I always feel like I need to put thought into things. And basically online dating has a shitton of flaky women that say one thing and do another and then ignore you. I might try again and make a barebones profile to spam out messages not giving a fuck. All the people I know IRL that have had success in online dating copy/pasted a message to like 50 girls a night without caring. Its really sad that's what the online thing has become because if used correctly its actually a nice shortcut.

 

[SniperHunter]

So theres this girl at this coffee shop i really like. I have said hi hello etc to her many times and this morning she said happy new year to me. She always smiles when i am there. I really want to talk to her, but i think she is married. How should i approach her without offending her?

Sounds like the flash sub plot lol, butiy is true

 

[stn]

Hey GAF,
So what do you think?

Thanks!

Uhhh, seems fine to me? Not sure what you're looking for. She's given you specific days and times. See what happens on those days and then come back to us. Good luck!

i think it's over bros, i asked her to go out friday and got no response. i had to send her a message though since i won't see her today or tomorrow and i can't call since we can't have cell phones at work.

new years is going to suck =[

Slow down, son. When did you message her? You need to ditch the "new years will suck because no girl" attitude. It makes you seem very clingy. That quality is not attractive. If she doesn't respond, no biggie. Go get drunk with friends or hangout with family. When you have a life that doesn't revolve around a girl and it makes you happy, girls come by much easier. Because you don't get hooked up on every sentence and move they make.

So theres this girl at this coffee shop i really like. I have said hi hello etc to her many times and this morning she said happy new year to me. She always smiles when i am there. I really want to talk to her, but i think she is married. How should i approach her without offending her?

Well, is she or is she not married? If no, go up to her and simply ask her if she would like to grab coffee. If she IS married, please for the love of fuck find another girl to pursue. If you need reasons to avoid a married woman, check out Revoh's latest thread.

 

[Nightbird]

That in a nutshell is why I abandoned online dating after 6 months or so. I cared too much and put too much into it. Im not the type that can do things and half-ass it, I always feel like I need to put thought into things. And basically online dating has a shitton of flaky women that say one thing and do another and then ignore you. I might try again and make a barebones profile to spam out messages not giving a fuck. All the people I know IRL that have had success in online dating copy/pasted a message to like 50 girls a night without caring. Its really sad that's what the online thing has become because if used correctly its actually a nice shortcut.

I know that feel. When i was doing online Dating this year, i was the same. Always going all-in. Basicly emulating what i would do when seeing that Person in Front of me. It wasn't until i already gave it up, that i gave it a Last shot with doing Copy/Paste Messages all over the Place.
Sadly, i got more than 3 Times more responses during those 2 Weeks.

I guess this is just how Online Dating works.

 

[bcl0328]

Slow down, son. When did you message her? You need to ditch the "new years will suck because no girl" attitude. It makes you seem very clingy. That quality is not attractive. If she doesn't respond, no biggie. Go get drunk with friends or hangout with family. When you have a life that doesn't revolve around a girl and it makes you happy, girls come by much easier. Because you don't get hooked up on every sentence and move they make.

messaged her around noon, that was ten hours ago. she saw the message and didn't respond.

the thing is, I was happy without a girl for my whole life. I never got girls this way. so I tried to put myself out there and this is what happened. it's going to be hard to pick myself up.

i know i'm being clingy, i'm admitting that here. when you told me to chill out with the messages i did.

should I just break it off or ask her if that's a no tomorrow?

 

[beat]

I posted din here the other day, but I'm a little wasted and need to vent. I'm fucking loney. Been this way for way too long. I'm only 18, and I've been told that I should worry but I never really had the typical teen years because my dad has als and I didn't got to a big school. Now I don't have enough confidence to talk to people in collecollege. What the fuck do I do? Am I just going to be alone? I'd give anything to just have somebody who cared. It's not even like I'm fat and a fedora tipping asshole. I just don't approach people, and that smy downgall. What do I do gaf? I feel like I'm stuck in a never ending room of shit and can't get out.

Approach people. You know the problem and the solution.

I know that sounds a little harsh. But the truth is, everyone has to risk something sometimes. It sucks, but just push yourself to make eye contact with strangers sometimes, say hi to classmates, make small talk with strangers now and then. Don't worry too much about it. People who'd reject you off the bat are assholes who aren't worth being friends with, and they're in the small minority anyways.

And make the most of your college years. Talk to your classmates. You've got a built-in ice-breaker: you're taking the same classes, you've got the same homework, you probably need to study together. Also, join a club or two in college. Be interested in what people have to say, really actually listen to what they're saying, and that way if you have something to say too, it'll be relevant to the conversation and not just you waiting your turn to speak.

It's college, it's a time when people your age are figuring out who they are. Try different things. Join different clubs next year if you want, take electives in fields far from your intended major. Figure out what you want to do* and find people who share your interests and goals, then team up with them.

* it's ok if you don't figure this out right away. You might even figure it out and then completely change your life in another ten or twenty years anyways.

 

[stn]

messaged her around noon, that was ten hours ago. she saw the message and didn't respond.

the thing is, I was happy without a girl for my whole life. I never got girls this way. so I tried to put myself out there and this is what happened. it's going to be hard to pick myself up.

i know i'm being clingy, i'm admitting that here. when you told me to chill out with the messages i did.

should I just break it off or ask her if that's a no tomorrow?

Why will it be hard to pick yourself up? Because of one failure? Its not like you got rejected by 200 girls, bro. Which some guys have experienced. Should be easy to recover, just realize that other girls exist and there's always someone better out there.

You should do nothing. She saw your message and she knows you exist. You owe it to yourself not to message her anymore. You deserve someone who wants you. And you also need to slowly get rid of your clingy behavior. See it as a test. Just let go. If she likes you... you'll know it.


What did you guys do for NYE? I went to a great house party, got wasted. Fun times all around.

 

[RedBullEnergy]

Out of curiosity I changed my tinder location from London, UK to various spots in the USA. Now maybe because of a higher population but damn, the girls are matching more, actually MESSAGING you when matched and respond to messages, ask if you want to go out (and then disappoint when you mention your 6k miles away). Oh and they're way hotter.

USA dating has it sweet.

 

[Kaname]

Damn it sure sucks when you try to suppress your feelings for your best friend, pretty much start to succeed for your own good and then everything is back to square one because of something she tells you or stuff that happens.
Trying to put some distance has been a real struggle, with her keeping on telling me how much she cares about me and is happy that we get along so well etc. Almost considered trying to come out clear once but it would just destoy our current friendship, considering she's already going out with someone and she would just feel betrayed by my actions probably.
Yay new year, hopefully I'll finally start to realize what I want to do with her, been really confused for the past few weeks.

Sorry for the random post anyway, just needed to share and vent to calm down a bit.
I should probably just go out and meet new people but it's so hard to find someone that sparks my interests where I live nowaday.

 

[bcl0328]

Why will it be hard to pick yourself up? Because of one failure? Its not like you got rejected by 200 girls, bro. Which some guys have experienced. Should be easy to recover, just realize that other girls exist and there's always someone better out there.

You should do nothing. She saw your message and she knows you exist. You owe it to yourself not to message her anymore. You deserve someone who wants you. And you also need to slowly get rid of your clingy behavior. See it as a test. Just let go. If she likes you... you'll know it.


What did you guys do for NYE? I went to a great house party, got wasted. Fun times all around.

yea i know you're right and i should stop. it's just that sometimes she will see a message and not respond then forget because she's at work. and yesterday she left early which i didn't know. she usually doesn't respond after work for whatever reason. i thought i would at least be like "well i take that as a no, so good luck" or something. i feel like at least that would be good closure for me so i know to move on. but it also seems desperate.

the reason i say it's going to be hard is because i've never really had an actual girlfriend my whole life. i've just had flings or whatever. i just never really tried to look for a girlfriend. the one time i actually try i fail.

 

[NeOak]

Damn it sure sucks when you try to suppress your feelings for your best friend, pretty much start to succeed for your own good and then everything is back to square one because of something she tells you or stuff that happens.
Trying to put some distance has been a real struggle, with her keeping on telling me how much she cares about me and is happy that we get along so well etc. Almost considered trying to come out clear once but it would just destoy our current friendship, considering she's already going out with someone and she would just feel betrayed by my actions probably.
Yay new year, hopefully I'll finally start to realize what I want to do with her, been really confused for the past few weeks.

Sorry for the random post anyway, just needed to share and vent to calm down a bit.
I should probably just go out and meet new people but it's so hard to find someone that sparks my interests where I live nowaday.

Are you hitting on Homura? You are Meguca. Suffering is what you do.

Spoiler

lol kidding. You need to step back for a while. If she is a real good friend, a temporary distance won't affect the friendship

yea i know you're right and i should stop. it's just that sometimes she will see a message and not respond then forget because she's at work. and yesterday she left early which i didn't know. she usually doesn't respond after work for whatever reason. i thought i would at least be like "well i take that as a no, so good luck" or something. i feel like at least that would be good closure for me so i know to move on. but it also seems desperate.

the reason i say it's going to be hard is because i've never really had an actual girlfriend my whole life. i've just had flings or whatever. i just never really tried to look for a girlfriend. the one time i actually try i fail.

Just one try? It takes more than that and luck unfortunately. All you can do is take the lesson and apply it the next time something happens.

Good luck with the next.

 

[bcl0328]

Just one try? It takes more than that and luck unfortunately. All you can do is take the lesson and apply it the next time something happens.

Good luck with the next.

heh, yea. i have no confidence or self-esteem. i started working out and that's helped a bit.

i think the biggest lesson i learned, don't drag out the talking, be more assertive, take charge, know what you want, lead her, and be confident.

i feel like i was none of those on our date.

 

[Kaname]

lol kidding. You need to step back for a while. If she is a real good friend, a temporary distance won't affect the friendship

Yeah I know, it's just that it's getting a bit hard especially when she texts me after 2-3 days not hearing anything from me and asking if everything's fine. I try to move the conversation on other topics but she can clearly see that something's a bit off and it gets a bit awkward.
Anyway I've spent a major part of my last 2-3 years dealing with loneliness and depression every now and then, so finally finding someone as great as she is but having to step back is proving to be a bit harder than I expected. Time and resolve will help though, I guess

 

[Leeness]

Did a dumb and messaged someone I shouldn't have last night. #sorrynotsorry

And now I leave after my declaration because I don't belong in here. Haha. I just felt like declaring.

 

[NeOak]

Did a dumb and messaged someone I shouldn't have last night. #sorrynotsorry

And now I leave after my declaration because I don't belong in here. Haha. I just felt like declaring.

:c

 

[bcl0328]

ahhhhhhh, this is really doing my head in. just when i thought i was over this girl and she messages me just now. i really thought we were done talking. now all my emotions just came back.

she's telling me she had a good time on our last date, and she doesn't know what's she's thinking right now and the reason she didn't respond because she is overwhelmed with stuff right now.

goddamnit...

 

[NeOak]

ahhhhhhh, this is really doing my head in. just when i thought i was over this girl and she messages me just now. i really thought we were done talking. now all my emotions just came back.

she's telling me she had a good time on our last date, and she doesn't know what's she's thinking right now and the reason she didn't respond because she is overwhelmed with stuff right now.

goddamnit...

Bail. BAIL. BAAAAIIIIILLLLL.

You need to cool your head off first.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

ahhhhhhh, this is really doing my head in. just when i thought i was over this girl and she messages me just now. i really thought we were done talking. now all my emotions just came back.

she's telling me she had a good time on our last date, and she doesn't know what's she's thinking right now and the reason she didn't respond because she is overwhelmed with stuff right now.

goddamnit...

I wouldn't get roped back into that rodeo. Just tell her that you had a good time on the date too and if she is able to commit time you'll be there. Then make a sandwich and watch some TV.

 

[bcl0328]

Bail. BAIL. BAAAAIIIIILLLLL.

You need to cool your head off first.

I wouldn't get roped back into that rodeo. Just tell her that you had a good time on the date too and if she is able to commit time you'll be there. Then make a sandwich and watch some TV.

i am taking a break now. just doing my thing and seeing what happens.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Any ideas for first dates? We went for dinner and a movie tonight and I want to save ice skating for another date.

 

[Leeness]

:c

I think I probably got blocked anyway lol.

Though I'm not brave enough to try messaging again to see for sure lol.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

i am taking a break now. just doing my thing and seeing what happens.

Yeah, you seriously need to chill. Take a step back and realize that it's just a person, you've talked and gotten along with plenty of people before. This girl is no different.

The biggest thing you need is to stop attaching value to what she thinks of you. You know what's hot? Doing your own thing and being confident in yourself. I would always get fearful and cave but today I was going to dinner and movie with a girl she wanted to go earlier, I said later because I enjoy watching the winter classic and guess what? She said OK and we went later and had fun. It's not the end of the world with stuff and you need to care about yourself enough that if they won't make some tiny concession to see you because something came up then why do you care so much?

I wouldn't engage further unless you can get your head on straight, you're jumping way too far into the deep end over nothing. You almost had a panic attack when she didn't respond quick enough. Just be confident, do things you feel comfortable with and hopefully everything works out

I think I probably got blocked anyway lol.

Though I'm not brave enough to try messaging again to see for sure lol.

What do you mean you messaged someone you shouldn't have?

 

[Izuna]

Whoa what a big misread of thread title...
Edit

 

[NeOak]

Whoa what a big misread of thread title...
Edit

lol

The thread he meant to post in is here:

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=958321

Edit: Are you going to update them with your decision? I did read it before you edited the post.

 

[Leeness]

What do you mean you messaged someone you shouldn't have?

Someone I haven't spoken to in a year or so, who I wish more than anything I was still talking to.

Anyway, he hasn't messaged me back, and I'm fairly sure he's blocked me now so it doesn't matter.

 

[NeOak]

Someone I haven't spoken to in a year or so, who I wish more than anything I was still talking to.

Anyway, he hasn't messaged me back, and I'm fairly sure he's blocked me now so it doesn't matter.

That guy?

Spoiler

It's ok

 

[Leeness]

That guy?

Spoiler

It's ok

Yes, lol.

I'm pretty sad and still wish I could salvage that shit. Obviously not though LOL

 

[NeOak]

Yes, lol.

I'm pretty sad and still wish I could salvage that shit. Obviously not though LOL

;-;

 

[Leeness]

;-;

 

[Blunoise]

Idk what I'm doing wrong. I use tinder and okcupid. A girl would like my profile and when I message them, most never respond others will talk back and end it there. I don't think I'm an ugly guy but sometimes I think otherwise with these results. There must be some bad aura around me or something. I even send them interesting respectable messages

 

[ClosingADoor]

Idk what I'm doing wrong. I use tinder and okcupid. A girl would like my profile and when I message them, most never respond others will talk back and end it there. I don't think I'm an ugly guy but sometimes I think otherwise with these results. There must be some bad aura around me or something. I even send them interesting respectable messages

That is online dating, don't worry about it. People change their minds all the time. No point in thinking why, it just happens.

 

[NeOak]

Idk what I'm doing wrong. I use tinder and okcupid. A girl would like my profile and when I message them, most never respond others will talk back and end it there. I don't think I'm an ugly guy but sometimes I think otherwise with these results. There must be some bad aura around me or something. I even send them interesting respectable messages

It's like playing the lottery.

 

[Blunoise]

It's like playing the lottery.

Lol yea it is. Everytime I get a "like" I feel like it hit the jackpot, only to find out it was my imagination

 

[Coda]

Idk what I'm doing wrong. I use tinder and okcupid. A girl would like my profile and when I message them, most never respond others will talk back and end it there. I don't think I'm an ugly guy but sometimes I think otherwise with these results. There must be some bad aura around me or something. I even send them interesting respectable messages

Thats the problem with these services. The problem lies in that people think there's always something else better around the corner. They're always looking for the better deal. So you have to know that many girls are getting bombarded with messages, so even if a lot of them are good, it's still hard to choose and pick.

For us we get one message and get all excited and go with it and when a woman sees that it probably seems desperate. It sucks because we are really not, just interested in meeting an interesting person. I've been having no luck lately whatsoever on either service. I occasionally see women who fit my style and like cool things but I very rarely ever get to communicate with them. And then the boring girl who likes rock climbing messages me saying, "Hi, how are you?"

I feel as through early in these website's lives people actually met up more, maybe it's just me but it feels like everyone just uses both to mindlessly look and make fun of people rather than use it as an effective tool for dating. That's just sad.