I've done it a few times when my wife was getting tired or something but she usually only has me carry it a little bit before she gets uncomfortable and takes it back. There have been plenty of times as well where I told her not to bring it but she did anyway and I tell her too bad.
Holding your SO's purse
- Thread starter King Cobra
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Raonak
Banned
If she's legitimately doing it for no reason other than "test my masculanity" then I'd either not hold it, or do something like this;
CitizenCope
Member
I guess I am. I'm not right for everyone.
ScatheZombie
Member
You do not understand women. That's the joke.
You expect me to ask my SO to bring *one* thing from her wallet? I wouldn't ask her to do that, and I wouldn't expect her to ask that of me either. I'm brining my entire wallet with me wherever I go.
Why does she need her keys? What if she was the one who drove? Why am I keeping my keys? Because we drove from my place.
And no, I can't carry an extra 5" phone in my slim straight slacks.
All this overthinking is eliminated by her bringing her purse.
Absolutely.
Yeah, sure, I hold my girlfriend's purse when she needs me to. I've also gone out in 10-degree weather to get her some tampons at midnight. On the flip side, she's taken care of me when I've gotten sick (sometimes even taking off work to do so) and just generally has my back. We're partners, so we look out for each other.
I don't care if someone sees me in a feminine light - who am I trying to impress, exactly?
I don't care if someone sees me in a feminine light - who am I trying to impress, exactly?
Zen_Arcade
Banned
This isn't overthinking. It takes like five seconds of deciding what you need so that you're not bringing a dozen other things you don't.
And if she finds it really necessary to bring her purse and bring those dozen other things she doesn't need, she can carry it.
I've dated plenty of women, suggested this to all of them that I've dated long term, and none of them have had objections towards it. I think you just have a very narrow minded view of how reasonable women can be. Shit, you've probably never even suggested something like this to them in the first place to see if they would reject the idea by how unreasonable you think it is.
I've never had a woman ask me to carry her purse because she got tired of it, and there have been plenty of times they didn't even have to bring their purse because I offered things like this because we both agreed that she didn't need to lug around a whole purse worth of shit.
AlexMeloche
Member
Sriously?
Masculinity is so fragile.
Masculinity is so fragile.
thesaucetastic
Unconfirmed Member
Is being perceived as masculine by bystanders in the mall, who will literally look at you for less than half a second before moving on with their lives, important to you?
Here's the thing: women's pants usually can't even fit a cell phone because their pockets are like, 3 inches deep. Women's wallets are usually longer than men's, and don't fold up into a square. Even if she takes the bare minimum, where is she supposed to put her things?
Falcs
Banned
Wow. I can't believe how many guys in here simply just carry it.
For me it's not about Masculinity, it's about respect. The bag is hers, for her needs, not mine.
My wife and I have talked about this. I'd never carry her purse for her unless she needed me to for a specific reason (eg. She was hurt, or she was occupied doing something which prevented her from holding it). But as soon as she's able to again, she'll carry it.
I think it's disrespectful for the woman to ask her man to hold her purse simply because she doesn't want to.
It would be like if every time I want to play a video game, I sit my ass down on the couch and call her over and say "can you switch on the PS3, switch on the TV, set it to HDMI, adjust the volume to my liking, and pass me the controller. Thanks." - Fucking disrespectful.
For me it's not about Masculinity, it's about respect. The bag is hers, for her needs, not mine.
My wife and I have talked about this. I'd never carry her purse for her unless she needed me to for a specific reason (eg. She was hurt, or she was occupied doing something which prevented her from holding it). But as soon as she's able to again, she'll carry it.
I think it's disrespectful for the woman to ask her man to hold her purse simply because she doesn't want to.
It would be like if every time I want to play a video game, I sit my ass down on the couch and call her over and say "can you switch on the PS3, switch on the TV, set it to HDMI, adjust the volume to my liking, and pass me the controller. Thanks." - Fucking disrespectful.
CitizenCope
Member
I've always had issues of what people think of me. I'm far from perfect.
I just explained to you how it is overthinking. What if she wants to pay with her JCrew card, instead of her chase? What if she wants to go to an ATM, because a certain place requires cash? What if we decide to get drinks, and she needs her license? And this is not even covering the keys and phone. This is not a five second decision. And it's terribly inconvenient if we would have to go back to the car to get these things. All of it is solved by having it with you. I can't believe I have to explain this.
QueenOfThorns
Member
What the fuck lmao
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
Holy shit its a bag.
If she is fucking you, I would say your masculinity has excelled in enough ways to allow this small exception.
If she is fucking you, I would say your masculinity has excelled in enough ways to allow this small exception.
This is what I do. Follow this advice OP.
thesaucetastic
Unconfirmed Member
Sooooooooo I don't see the problem in doing either of these things, just to be nice to my partner? As long as it's a, "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" kind of thing?
Zen_Arcade
Banned
Pay for it yourself and get her to pay you back? If she knows she's going into JCREW, get the card out of her wallet while she's driving? And where and why are you getting a drink in a mall?
Again, I think you're really underestimating how simple this would be if you just tried it. I've done it dozens, if not hundreds of times and never gotten a complaint about it. All it takes is a little organizational skill. Most women I've dated are relieved that they don't have to carry around their bag in the first place when I've offered.
Disrespectful? Lol! Sorry you think helping someone means getting disrespected. And I've done a version of the second thing, and so has she, and we didn't check it off as disrespect towards each other. Sometimes, a lot of times, after her 14 hour day, she'll say she's not getting up, that means I'm the one doing everything from dinner to dishes, but who gives a shit? She's tired I'm gonna help her.
Put the masculinity aside. Whoever is reading this, you are now my SO in this post. Since it keeps being brought up, we apparently have a great sex life. We are at the mall. I buy a bottle of water. I then ask you to hold my water for me even though I would be empty handed otherwise and I simply don't feel like holding this water bottle I chose to buy for myself. I'd prefer it if you held it for me. We're having sex, so apparently that means you now cannot say no to my request. Peachy?
freenudemacusers
Member
What if it clashes with my shoes tho
thesaucetastic
Unconfirmed Member
It's just a water bottle. Why not hold it? I'll just take a sip if I do.
There's nothing wrong with holding/carrying your SO's purse in order to help her out. Reciprocity is a good thing.
On the other hand, I don't think that shutting it down if you're constantly being treated like a mule or (even though it's just conjecture in the OP) asked to carry it as part of some test automatically makes someone a MRA dickhead.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Next time she asks me to hold her purse at the mall I'm going to slam it on the ground and scream "Don't disrespect me!"
Dog Problems
Banned
I've held my girlfriend's purse while she's shopping and even walked around with it. I don't care if I'm seen.
I'd hold it for you because, um..... my ovaries are... in your water bottle??? Am I doing this right??
I dont think most people here are even arguing about being emasculated. This is simply about being considerate. If you are with someone you care about, you would hold it, no problem. Conversely, you would have to be a conniving bitch if you insisted your SO hold it just because.
We don't always know where we're going to shop. And where I live, we can walk across the mall to a restaurant or take public transit if we want. Sorry, but I think for the majority of cases when they don't have pockets, my SOs would always prefer the convenience of a purse rather than choosing a select few items for me to carry. (Which I don't even have space for in my pockets, as I said.)
Personally, we have an excellent sex life, because we're so open with each other. Sure I'd hold it, I'm gonna drink from it. And the fact that you think sex is why we do the things we do, rather than seeing the things we do as showing our love, you know the manly way without actually saying it, shows the kind of relationships you get into.
Uh, that's why you always check which purse she's bringing so you can accessorize to match.
ScatheZombie
Member
I'm privileged to be called narrow-minded by someone who can't realize I'm joking when I literally tell him I'm joking.
It is an honor, sir. An honor.
cubicle47b
Member
You bring it, you carry it. If not, you should have left in the car.
Darren870
Member
This is a joke right?
Anyways, my missus doesn't really carry a purse often. If she does, sometimes I will offer to hold it. I put water in there and other things which I ask her to hold and she does. So sometimes I'll hold if it its heavy or we've been walking around for a while.
Doesn't really bother me. I could think of 10000 other things to care about right now and holding a purse definitely isn't one...
I bought my girlfriend a fly ass Patagonia bag for just this reason.
It's just crazy to me that people have such a problem with this. lol.
Maybe it's because I'm getting married and I can think of very few things I would do for the woman I plan on spending the life with. Her asking me to hold a purse, or a bottle of water, or a cup of coffee, or whatever it is doesn't even register as an issue.
Maybe it's because I'm getting married and I can think of very few things I would do for the woman I plan on spending the life with. Her asking me to hold a purse, or a bottle of water, or a cup of coffee, or whatever it is doesn't even register as an issue.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
You didn't say you were joking, you said I do not understand women, and that's the joke. There's a difference. Maybe you meant to say you were joking somehow, and if that's what you meant, sorry I guess, but that's not what you typed and you can't really blame me for not knowing what you meant.
If her purse is so convenient, then she's probably not going to ask you to carry it around for her because she's tired of carrying it anyway. You don't pass things off to other people when they're convenient for you to have.
ScatheZombie
Member
Holy fucking shit.
Ally of Justice
Member
Used to carry it as if it was a tiny briefcase when that happened.
She's asked me to carry it before. And if a person is literally walking around with you, it's pretty damn convenient.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
Look, I don't really care about what you're saying, so we can just cut out conversation short. You said that my opinion was a joke, not that you were joking about what you said. You can go back and read it, and maybe you meant something different, but I'm not going to reply to you again.
Don't you guys put your keys in your GF's purse?
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