It's possible. One of the two was clearly being too inconsiderate for the other, in any case.
Holding your SO's purse
- Thread starter King Cobra
- Start date
- Status
It's possible. One of the two was clearly being too inconsiderate for the other, in any case.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
I think I could ask you the same question. Most clothes for women besides jackets have terrible pockets. Jeans are the worst offenders. My girlfriend can't even carry my phone without popping from her pockets.
Worse, even: some of thost crazy short-shorts with their pockets seemingly hanging out are faking them.
Those are probably two pieces of cloth sewn to look like pockets. Like, WTF?
Gravy Boat
Member
I've never known anyone that owns a skirt with pockets.
Complete non issue to me.
Not only have I held her purse and walked with it, but when I do, I throw it over my shoulder and wear it the same way any women would.
What is the big deal? Fuck if I wanted to go look through my photos I'd post a picture of me holding her hello kitty purse. No fucks given.
Not only have I held her purse and walked with it, but when I do, I throw it over my shoulder and wear it the same way any women would.
What is the big deal? Fuck if I wanted to go look through my photos I'd post a picture of me holding her hello kitty purse. No fucks given.
EdibleKnife
Member
Wow. Did not realize this was an issue or rather such a big issue for so many men. I've held purses for my mom, aunts, cousins, friends and SO's and only ever get pissy when I have to hold what's less a purse and more a bag for holding a lead bowling ball.
If you actually talk to your SO, the explanation will likely be that she wants to shop and holding her purse at the same time will make her arm tired but she'll also mention how much she appreciates it when you do help her with this small kindness, which honestly as your SO should be your motivation.
If this is some kind of masculinity trick and she berates and/or breaks up with you because you held her purse for more than 30 seconds then fuck her. Tell her she's shit and dust off your shoes as you walk out the door.
This is uncomplicated.
If you actually talk to your SO, the explanation will likely be that she wants to shop and holding her purse at the same time will make her arm tired but she'll also mention how much she appreciates it when you do help her with this small kindness, which honestly as your SO should be your motivation.
If this is some kind of masculinity trick and she berates and/or breaks up with you because you held her purse for more than 30 seconds then fuck her. Tell her she's shit and dust off your shoes as you walk out the door.
This is uncomplicated.
FinalStageBoss
Banned
Yea I'm not carrying my girlfriends bag either. She's never asked though, she leaves it in the car if she doesn't want to carry it.
travisbickle
Member
Why would you think like this if you're in a mutual loving relationship? I think you have issues man, no one sees you like a "pack mule" except yourself.
Why do you think every relationship is a "mutual, loving" one? Does this definition apply to every couple in your eyes, regardless of length or commitment of the relationship?
Gravy Boat
Member
If a relationship isn't 'mutual' then you've got bigger problems than who's holding the purse.
travisbickle
Member
I don't. And it would be easy to understand someone viewed themselves as a "pack mule" in an abusive relationship.
Or you have an unrealistic expectation that relationships are all about story book love and devotion.
The OP hasn't mentioned frequency or the length of his relationship and I don't expect him to. I would consider it a definite red flag if I was expected to give special treatment to a girl, especially if, as the OP mentions, she gets mad if you refuse. She brought the purse, if she can't carry it for the expected time you're to be "out and about" that's her problem.
Letting yourself be used for every menial task that a girl doesn't feel like doing, just so you can "earn some sex" or whatever other people have posted in this thread is stupid. I don't think every girl thinks this way, but the OP asked for our opinions and my advice is to look at whether this becomes expected in their relationship.
I dated a girl once who expected food made for her, things held for her, things bought for her, and other things because, in her words "You are the man and that's what men do for their women." It wasn't abuse, and I didn't feel abused, but there was a definite lack of respect and an expected special treatment that was never reciprocated. That type of person is absolutely not worth being with.
Gravy Boat
Member
Expecting a relationship to be mutual is hardly an unrealistic expectation. What's the point of a relationship if one person isn't as committed as the other person?
You're not giving special treatment to a girl, you're giving special treatment to a person you're in a relationship with. This isn't just someone you met on the street, this is someone you presumably want to spend the foreseeable future with. Otherwise, why even be in a relationship with them? I can't even describe how weird it is to hear someone say that being expected to treat their significant other differently than other people is a 'red flag'.
It's also not about letting yourself be used for every menial task they don't feel like doing. I even said in an earlier post, if she expects you to do it every time you are out together then that's not cool. But from reading the OP, this sounds like the first time she asked him to do it. Where's the harm in giving her a break or doing her a small favour once in a while?
Honestly, if your other half asked you to make them a cup of tea would you call them lazy and get to them to do it themselves?
Erin S Kittens
Member
I mean, real talk, if you think carrying a purse is emasculating, you might have some internal misogyny to deal with.
I'll carry my SO's purse if she asks. We're both women, but I'm pretty butch--purses look hilarious in contrast with me. Do I care? Not a bit.
I'll carry my SO's purse if she asks. We're both women, but I'm pretty butch--purses look hilarious in contrast with me. Do I care? Not a bit.
Gordon Shumway
Banned
Guessing old boy don't want folks to get the wrong idea. Personally, I just clutch it with one hand and start running away from the wife when I get stared at..blackness implies theft lol.
Manmademan
Member
hilarious responses here.
"hold my bag for a minute while i do X"= fine, no issue.
"carry my bag full of crap around for a couple hours because I don't want to"= not fine.
Would you hand your messenger bag or backpack to your woman and have her walk around all day with it because you didn't feel like carrying it? no? why is the opposite fine?
the vast majority of stuff in those things is unnecessary (my wife refuses to use them, pockets are fine, who could imagine?), so if it's THAT much of a burden, leave it in the car and take what you need (wallet, keys) with you.
"hold my bag for a minute while i do X"= fine, no issue.
"carry my bag full of crap around for a couple hours because I don't want to"= not fine.
Would you hand your messenger bag or backpack to your woman and have her walk around all day with it because you didn't feel like carrying it? no? why is the opposite fine?
the vast majority of stuff in those things is unnecessary (my wife refuses to use them, pockets are fine, who could imagine?), so if it's THAT much of a burden, leave it in the car and take what you need (wallet, keys) with you.
Wolfe
Member
This is pretty much my take, I would be fine with carrying something for someone regardless of what it is even for extended periods of time if necessary but I don't expect someone to just "offload" something that's inconveniencing them onto me and expect me to deal with it if there was no specific reason. Just the same as I wouldn't do that to someone else with my stuff.
Gravy Boat
Member
I've done that on several occasions with my girlfriend. Sometimes she does, sometimes she jokingly tells me to fuck off, it just depends. I'll admit that sometimes I'm lazy and ask her to do things for me, and sometimes she's lazy and asks me to do things for her. It's a 'you scratch mine and I'll scratch yours' kind of thing.
BattleMedic
Member
Tuck it under your arm bro you don't wanna look like you know how to hold that thing
acheron_xl
Member
OP's SO sounds like some spoiled girl. You need a woman.
King Cobra
Banned
Those whole thing about your partner having sex with you so you'll do anything they say thing is kind of strange for me. I would never see sex as a reward or bartering chip in a situation like this.
The reason I said it stands out is because it would look kind of silly with me wearing business attire and then a bright orange purse. I've gotten her tampons I've bought her cramp medicine. Honestly my biggest conflict was "why do you want me to look ridiculous in public" the actual people looking wasn't even on my mind it was the fact that she insisted that I be the one to carry her purse around for no reason other than she wanted me to carry it.
It's a Hermes bag.
That's my look on it as well. I'm not here to be taken advantage of because my wife "doesn't feel like it". She's hardworking and strong, so luckily that's not her personality anyway.
To all the guys who proudly say they'd not only hold it but rock it...just make sure you have a balanced relationship. Maybe your wife/gf picks up your slack when you're lazy, I dunno.
Messofanego
Banned
When I've been out with my mom for shopping, I've held hers because she has a lot of stuff in it and we're carrying other stuff. Just wear it like they do. Probably will do the same with a wife. Who cares what other people think when you're out and about? Who got time for that anxiety? Focus on your loved ones more.
terrisus
Member
I will hold my SO's purse only for a short time if asked.
I would NEVER wear the damn thing around my shoulder or, god forbid, WALK with the thang.
I'm comfortable with my sexuality but not comfortable enough to be seen wearing a woman's accessory.
To me this would be the same as wearing a dress in public (and I ain't into that either obviously).
I would NEVER wear the damn thing around my shoulder or, god forbid, WALK with the thang.
I'm comfortable with my sexuality but not comfortable enough to be seen wearing a woman's accessory.
To me this would be the same as wearing a dress in public (and I ain't into that either obviously).
zorlaczerohero
Banned
Carry it with confidence and style, if anyone comments look them straight in the eye and say "It's my Snatchel, you got a problem with that?".
Gravy Boat
Member
I hope for your sake you never have a daughter, I'm not sure how you would cope.
Also wearing a womans accessory or clothing has nothing to do with your sexuality.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
Just have her buy unisex bags.
Gordon Shumway
Banned
NHarmonic.
Member
Why is this some problem? If you're afraid of being seen holding a purse by someone on the street, chances are you'll never see them again in your life, so why bother with this?
This is my thought exactly. OP should just embrace it. I usually hold it like a girl does to make my girl laugh.
John Kowalski
Banned
No problem. When i was a kid sometimes my mother would ask it, and i had no trouble with it.
- Status