Sometimes it works others it doesn't, i have had several doctors see me and try and find out what i have but so far no luck.
I'm so sorry pixelation, that sounds absolutely excruciating. Furthermore, in my own experiences I've found that nausea and those sorts of feelings of unease take a much larger toll on my mental health than most other physical conditions.
You mentioned not being in the US, so clearly medicaid isn't an option, but is there no local equivalent for medical assistance where you are?
I guess I'll apply
It requires someone with good customer service skills, though, and I don't have that. Also, if I do get it, I'll have to forego the benefits I need from disability.
I'm glad you're applying!
And developing better customer service skills would be precisely the purpose of the job, wouldn't it? It sounded like a pretty cool gig, too! Perhaps the benefits of the job, not just monetarily but also personally, will be worth forgoing disability benefits. Or perhaps not - but either way, there's nothing to lose in applying
THIRDED!!
Anyway this seems to be working for me for the most part. I haven't really found anything if this is related, and it's probably just my allergies, but over the last few days my throat gets congested and I have difficulty breathing, and am coughing/clearing my throat a lot. I take a decongestant, and drink water, usually goes away after a while, but sometimes comes back later. Sometimes it has gone away on it's own. I doubt this is related to Adderall at all, but I'm also on Pristiq. Is this most likely just allergies like I think it is? I did move to a new apartment the other day, so that could have something to do with it.
I'm so glad to hear you've found some relief, Hylian! I've never heard of allergies-esque symptoms from Adderall or Pristiq, which doesn't mean it's impossible but certainly it seems more likely that it's just allergies.
Trying to meet new people and just be open to new things. It is not my specialty, but I really want to make a go of this.
I've been stable for, oh, thirty months or so--a personal record. Took a long damned time to get here, but it feels pretty good now.
I'm so glad you've gotten to a better place, kamineko
If you learn anything along the way about better ways to meet new people and be open to new things perhaps you can come back and share. I could definitely use some tips!
But now there's one within arm's reach, flimsy lock be damned, and that does worry me a bit. I'm not doing too well right now, but not suicidally so. Yet, as I held it in my hands, one of the first things my brain told me was "Well, at least you have an easier way out now."
What was it you felt in that moment? Relief? Fear? Existential dread? Perhaps a mix of all three?
I haven't spent much of my life in close proximity to firearms but there was one period in particular where there were some nearby and I was very, very low and it both comforted me and terrified me to know that I actually had an option.
I take back what I said in my previous post. I feel pretty much just as bad as I ever did before I started my meds I think. Incredibly tired, miserable just being in my own head, back hurting way more than it does when I'm in a good mood, etc.
Really hope this is just some weird temporary thing...
Kipp, I'm sorry things have gone into a slump. I have a few thoughts; hopefully one of them will help you sort out your feelings on the matter.
I was put on an antidepressant, Zoloft, when I was very young. I took it for almost a decade without really thinking critically about what it did, or what I needed it to do, or what it couldn't do. I didn't think about it much at all, really, until around age 20 it just ... stopped working. Over a period of a couple of months I found myself repeatedly in one to two week episodes of despair and hopelessness. I, of course, went to see a psychiatrist, and there began a nearly two-year long period of heavy change in my medications, during which time I tried out over a dozen medications via several doctors, many of them working sort-of-but-not-enough or working for a bit and then collapsing.
I learned a lot from being on that many medications. I learned just how unreasonable my expectations for my medications were. I changed off of several medications because they weren't making me happy. I wanted to be happy, medication wasn't doing that, get me off of it, it is a failure, full stop. This, of course, is a sort of unreasonable perspective - there are many more aspects to ones emotional and mental well-being than just a sliding scale of happiness.
I learned that what I needed to aim for was stability and the
ability to be happy, not happiness itself. Instead I need medications that stabilize my emotions in such a way that I am able to cultivate the circumstances that lead to happiness. It still takes work on my part; if it didn't, I think my life would be all out of whack!
I learned, most of all, that medications probably can't fix all of your problems. Medications are symptom relief. They will alleviate suffering. But if the source of my suffering - my constant rumination, my poor self-image, my existential anxiety - is still sitting back there working as hard as ever it'll eventually find a way around the medication, at least somewhat.
A lot of people treat this post-medication dip with more medication or a higher dose. That may work for many people - and I would encourage you to talk to your doctor and perhaps consider a higher dose if you feel that your medication simply isn't working for you at the current level! But in many circumstances it's just not possible to bomb it out of the water, or at least not possible to do so without adverse effects.
Therapy was very helpful for me, both because it has helped me sort through my issues that I cannot medicate that were constantly fighting through the medication - existential anxiety, social anxiety, feelings of abandonment, loneliness - and because it helped me figure out which treatable symptoms were at the
root of many of my other problems.
Turns out I don't need anti-depressants and I don't need mood stabilizers. Not that I don't have depressions or mood instability - I do, but both are the result of my massive, massive amount of anxiety. I've had much more success with my medications since shifting focus to medicating for anxiety primarily, medicating for symptom relief secondarily, and then figuring out the rest with self-reflection, meditation and therapy.
So, personally, I see medication as useful for two things in my life.
1. Symptom relief. Can't sleep? So anxious you have IBS? Medication will minimize - but
not eliminate! - both of those. Hopefully as time goes on you can figure out how to treat these yourself with lifestyle changes and behavioral modification, but in the meantime, medication is here to help!
2. Treatment of root causes. The closer you get to the bottom, the clearer it is what, exactly, needs to be medicated. Anti depressants weren't doing much for me because they weren't doing much for the huge anxiety that kept spiraling me into depressions.
Sorry to ramble for so long. I definitely do not mean to give the impression that my problems are yours or my solutions will work for you. I have but this one life of experiences and I hope it can be of some help in you finding your own path, one that none of us have walked except for you.
I hope things look up soon, and if they don't, know that you have many, many many many MANY more options!
Went and had my first appointment with my Therapist on the 2nd. I don't know what I was expecting going in. We talked for like 45 minutes and suggested when I feel anxious and get nagging thoughts to just rip the emotion from them and view them as just thoughts. That and to do breathing exercises. Tried the thought thing it works sometimes but not all the time just yet and breathing does help out quite a bit.
I'm glad your appointment went well, redlegs. That's awesome that you're already feeling a bit of relief from what you and your therapist talked about! Sometimes it takes a few appointments to warm up to a therapist.
Today I finally just called in sick. I didn't feel like going to work at all. Yesterday I came home and just felt really down.
I finally got the courage to call a therapist to set up an appointment but hung up instead of leaving a message. I haven't tried to call again. I know I need help but honestly I think i'm still ashamed to get help. Which is just stupid and ironic because I'm always telling people the benefits of seeing a counselor. I guess I just don't follow my own advice.
I think one of my reasons for being so reluctant to seek help is because I'm so use to dealing with things on my own. I keep wanting to just deal with it. But I don't think it's possible for me to do that this time.
You seem to have a good attitude on your need for treatment, oni_saru, and some very interesting perspective on your reluctance to seek help. I encourage you to write that down or otherwise remember to bring it up with a therapist when you do end up in an appointment - it seems like an avenue worth exploring.
Also, I hope you're able to set an appointment soon. I believe in you. Please let us know if there's anything we can do to help.
Hey guys, what to do when the worry that I won't be able to sleep has prevented me from actually sleeping at night?
I have a ton of sleep anxiety and I've done a few things to help. Perhaps some of them could work for you?
First, good sleep hygiene. It's extremely important. I try to get up around the same time every day, even on the weekends. It's difficult for a little while but eventually your body will keep you on schedule; two years ago I struggled to get up before noon, and these days I can't sleep past 10AM. I also make sure not to get in my bed unless I'm sleeping.
Second, I stopped wearing a watch and got rid of all clocks in my bedroom. Now, when I shut down my computer I no longer know what time it is, and that helps me not worry about how much sleep I'm getting.
Third, I set up a night time routine. At 12AM at the latest, all screens go off. I shut down my computer and turn my phone upside down so that I can't accidentally see what time it is. Then I sit next to my bed, on the floor, and either meditate, or write my feelings, or sit and think - whatever it is I need to do to release some of the anxieties that I've been avoiding all day. They tend to gang up on me and make my mind race when I try to sleep if I don't make it a point to let them through. Sometimes if I'm feeling particularly nervous about my ability to get to sleep I'll leave my bedside lamp on very, very low or lay on the floor until I get sleepy, in both cases so I feel like there's less "pressure" to fall asleep. Once I get sleepy, I'll climb into bed.
Fourth, if I'm still unable to fall asleep, I get out of bed and sit in my chair (in the dark) and either think about, speak aloud of write down what is on my mind and what is preventing me from sleeping. Sometimes a good 20 minutes of thinking in the chair will help my mind slow down.
Fifth, I always make sure to start my routine and go into no-clock mode as early as possible, so that I know that even if I can't sleep for a couple of hours I'll still get a decent amount of sleep. I know this isn't always possible, but I do it when I can.
It sounds ridiculous, and it sort of is, but it has worked for me!
<3
