Gray Matter
Member
Yup, I'm not stressing about it.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
- Status
Yup, I'm not stressing about it.
Nastrodamous
Member
So I texted that girl I had been talking too Friday about going out and haven't heard anything back. I just don't know where I went wrong. Really sucks but I guess I have my google interview to take my mind off of it.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
So is it generally assumed that when you begin dating its not exclusively? The girl I've been dating for about a month now I've only been seeing her.
Thing is, I wasnt sure at first it we were actually dating. We're part of a pretty close friendship group, so I didn't know if it was just friends catching up, she's got close male friends. So for the first week or so I was talking to/flirting with another girl (not dating). I stopped this when I had my second date with the first girl and I started to really like her, it seemed much more like a romantic context. When I told the second girl she got pissed because she assumed we'd date at some point.
Now things are getting a little more serious with the girl I'm seeing, should I mention this to her, that I was talking to another girl? She seemed to have a really laid back attitude to dating at the start, and made it clear she'd got cold feet before when guys had been too serious with her before. But I can't help feeling guilty about it because I do like her a lot?
Thing is, I wasnt sure at first it we were actually dating. We're part of a pretty close friendship group, so I didn't know if it was just friends catching up, she's got close male friends. So for the first week or so I was talking to/flirting with another girl (not dating). I stopped this when I had my second date with the first girl and I started to really like her, it seemed much more like a romantic context. When I told the second girl she got pissed because she assumed we'd date at some point.
Now things are getting a little more serious with the girl I'm seeing, should I mention this to her, that I was talking to another girl? She seemed to have a really laid back attitude to dating at the start, and made it clear she'd got cold feet before when guys had been too serious with her before. But I can't help feeling guilty about it because I do like her a lot?
Howard Ballou
Member
Unless you agreed to be exclusive, you weren't exclusive. Certainly not after one or two dates.
ZackieChan
Member
How do you deal with new girls' reactions to you being best friends with your ex wife?
I'm still friends with my ex almost-wife. I've had a few that couldn't accept it. But to me it is a lifelong friendship that I don't want to let go. She's married to someone else now and there's no romantic connection anymore.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Yeah, I realise I'm probably just being paranoid, I'm very new to the idea of dating. Last girl I was with for longer than a few weeks we were sixteen, and it was very much not together -> together within a day. Getting my head out of that mindset!
Just? How long we talking here? It's been six months to the day my ex left me, and I'd say I've only really been properly over her for a couple of months at best. And it still irks me to see her/think about her too much. We were together five and a half years. Of course you can't imagine being that close to someone else yet, and you don't have to. You don't like being single because it isn't what you're used to right now. And ultimately, nobody wants to be single forever, so it makes sense you wouldn't love it. Dating is incredibly scary, and as I've said above I don't really know how to go about it myself. When you think of it as two people getting to know each other and seeing where it goes, it becomes a lot less intimidating.
I regretted my ex for about 3 months. Then I remembered why we split up, and in my ex's case it helped that she was a vindictive bitch. Basically, stay strong, ignore cliches ("Single life is great!" and the ilk), and you'll be fine. I'm going to break my cliches rule with a tried and true one; time heals all wounds. Well, not all, but certainly this one. Hang on in there.
Sooo it wasn't actually a funeral. It was a mass dedicated to the man who passed. She showed up like 15-20 minutes after it started, and my friend like made her squeeze in between us so we could sit together. Made it kinda awkward since we obviously couldn't talk during the mass.
After, we all hung out outside the church for a half hour just talking, and I got to talk with her a little bit. A bunch of us went to a restaurant after and she sat across from me, so I wasn't able to engage her directly if that makes any sense. Kinda sucked, but I still did what I could given the circumstances. I didn't have a good opportunity to ask for her number (there was maybe one but I didn't think about it at the time) but I wasn't really worried about it since we are all planning on meeting up again this Friday, but this time at someone's home so it should be easier to engage her 1v1...
My friend asked her what she thought of me after, and she said she thought I was definitely funny, but she didn't get a vibe from me that I was into her. Which is kind of funny because I felt the same way about her. Like, she's cute and stuff but she didn't really do anything to show that she liked me. As I said, the situation itself wasn't ideal and I don't really like showing obvious interest in front of all these people. She was surprised when he told her that I want to get to know her better, so I guess that's a good sign?
I added her on FB this morning, and I think I'll try and chat with her a bit and just ask her for her number instead of waiting till Friday to talk to her again. What do you guys think? Advice is appreciated!
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Go out with her and see how it goes. I don't think it was a good environment to really flirt with someone, so you can either "reset" or make a light joke about the circumstances you first met in.
I haven't read the thread yet, so sorry if this was talked about just before/earlier.
Me and my GF just broke up a few days ago, on Saturday. I'm taking it kind of rough, but I'm trying to take it as well as I can; I'm trying to keep myself occupied a lot by playing games or working out or doing other hobbies I have.
She said she wasn't as happy anymore as the last couple years. I tried to ask her why but she didn't really answer me and when I asked her if this was what she really wanted, she said 'I don't know' and then after a little more sobbing around (from both of us) she left. I told her that if she leaves me I was going to cut (almost) all contact with her. Not because I wanted to be an asshole/whatever, but because I knew I wouldn't really be able to handle it any other way.
Since I doubt I'll ever talk to her again, and since I doubt she'll come back to talk to me since this is what she wanted, I am effectively single.
Now that the backstory is over I just wanted to ask how to really begin dating/looking for other women again? I was never, and probably still am not, good at meeting women; though I think I'm pretty good at the talking part (once I get past the first couple nerves/blabbers/etc). I don't really go out a lot, and when I do, it usually isn't to be looking at women, and I hate things like clubs/etc. I also think the idea of meeting/picking up women at bars is kind of.. sleezy?
Should I try online dating? I don't know how to feel about that stuff, the friends that have tried it says it sucks/doesn't work/just makes them depressed. Should I try and talk to some girls at my work? There are 2 here that I've always thought were nice girls (and are pretty cute too).
I'm really just at a loss for everything right now I think.
EDIT: I forgot to mention, reminded by some posts talking to me, I am not ready yet for dating again. Don't know how long I'll be; it's just that I wanted to know what to do when I am ready. Should have mentioned that..
Me and my GF just broke up a few days ago, on Saturday. I'm taking it kind of rough, but I'm trying to take it as well as I can; I'm trying to keep myself occupied a lot by playing games or working out or doing other hobbies I have.
She said she wasn't as happy anymore as the last couple years. I tried to ask her why but she didn't really answer me and when I asked her if this was what she really wanted, she said 'I don't know' and then after a little more sobbing around (from both of us) she left. I told her that if she leaves me I was going to cut (almost) all contact with her. Not because I wanted to be an asshole/whatever, but because I knew I wouldn't really be able to handle it any other way.
Since I doubt I'll ever talk to her again, and since I doubt she'll come back to talk to me since this is what she wanted, I am effectively single.
Now that the backstory is over I just wanted to ask how to really begin dating/looking for other women again? I was never, and probably still am not, good at meeting women; though I think I'm pretty good at the talking part (once I get past the first couple nerves/blabbers/etc). I don't really go out a lot, and when I do, it usually isn't to be looking at women, and I hate things like clubs/etc. I also think the idea of meeting/picking up women at bars is kind of.. sleezy?
Should I try online dating? I don't know how to feel about that stuff, the friends that have tried it says it sucks/doesn't work/just makes them depressed. Should I try and talk to some girls at my work? There are 2 here that I've always thought were nice girls (and are pretty cute too).
I'm really just at a loss for everything right now I think.
EDIT: I forgot to mention, reminded by some posts talking to me, I am not ready yet for dating again. Don't know how long I'll be; it's just that I wanted to know what to do when I am ready. Should have mentioned that..
ZackieChan
Member
Give it a little more time, maybe, before you start dating again.
No reason you can't try online dating. Tinder, OKCupid, etc. - all good places to try. At the same time, try dating IRL. Workplace dating can be very difficult, though - I would avoid it.
No reason you can't try online dating. Tinder, OKCupid, etc. - all good places to try. At the same time, try dating IRL. Workplace dating can be very difficult, though - I would avoid it.
Roberto Larcos
Member
I feel for you man, good luck getting things back long-term.
Regarding online dating, nah, not yet at least. You're just out of a long-term relationship, you need to get your own head in order before going back in again. Give it some time. No rush at all. I can't say how long is long enough, but I can tell you that 'a few days ago' isn't enough.
Something happened today that I haven't really dealt with before and I feel like a real piece of shit for feeling this way.
I've been dating this wonderful girl since April, we've spoken almost daily since we started seeing each other and I've really enjoyed every minute spent with her. We've known each other for about 10 years now and I consider her a great friend.
These last 4 weeks she has been away and she entrusted me with the keys to her apartment so I could tend to her flowers. Which I did and I waited eagerly for her to come home.
She came home last Wednesday but we couldn't meet since I went to a convention for the rest of that week. I had a great time, met really awesome people and was generally happy. However, I came to some kind of "realization" during the con. Me and her almost share no interests and most of the time we hang out we eat, talk and watch movies. We are having fun, but we are completely uninterested what the other one does in their free time and hence we don't really do anything else.
We decided to meet today and I couldn't let go of the thoughts that crossed my mind during the con. I met a lot of similar-minded people there, including a few really nice girls, we discussed geeky stuff for hours and had a really easy time connecting.
I feel like a complete asshole for admitting this, but for some reason it really made me question mine and this girl's compatibility, which in turn made me lose interest in today's meeting. I avoided being intimate with her because of this and left early because I felt like a big douchebag. This wouldn't be a big problem if she started asking me out, but I was the one who initiated this whole thing and I've been all over her for all this time and now I feel the complete opposite. I want her to remain a close friend but I've started doubting if we can continue like this.
Does anyone have any advice? I am legit worried about hurting her.
I've been dating this wonderful girl since April, we've spoken almost daily since we started seeing each other and I've really enjoyed every minute spent with her. We've known each other for about 10 years now and I consider her a great friend.
These last 4 weeks she has been away and she entrusted me with the keys to her apartment so I could tend to her flowers. Which I did and I waited eagerly for her to come home.
She came home last Wednesday but we couldn't meet since I went to a convention for the rest of that week. I had a great time, met really awesome people and was generally happy. However, I came to some kind of "realization" during the con. Me and her almost share no interests and most of the time we hang out we eat, talk and watch movies. We are having fun, but we are completely uninterested what the other one does in their free time and hence we don't really do anything else.
We decided to meet today and I couldn't let go of the thoughts that crossed my mind during the con. I met a lot of similar-minded people there, including a few really nice girls, we discussed geeky stuff for hours and had a really easy time connecting.
I feel like a complete asshole for admitting this, but for some reason it really made me question mine and this girl's compatibility, which in turn made me lose interest in today's meeting. I avoided being intimate with her because of this and left early because I felt like a big douchebag. This wouldn't be a big problem if she started asking me out, but I was the one who initiated this whole thing and I've been all over her for all this time and now I feel the complete opposite. I want her to remain a close friend but I've started doubting if we can continue like this.
Does anyone have any advice? I am legit worried about hurting her.
Well, if you guys don't share hobbies, and more importantly, neither of you even care to hear/talk/participate in the other's hobbies, then, well, it's probably the best to break it off.
It'll hurt her, most break-ups hurt, but it hurts more to drag it out on the claim of 'not wanting to hurt' someone and making things miserable for you both.
That said, just because you two like different things doesn't always mean it's a deal-breaker. But, if you two just flat out don't care and/or don't want any part of what each other do in their free time, then it's pretty hard to keep things together.
It'll hurt her, most break-ups hurt, but it hurts more to drag it out on the claim of 'not wanting to hurt' someone and making things miserable for you both.
That said, just because you two like different things doesn't always mean it's a deal-breaker. But, if you two just flat out don't care and/or don't want any part of what each other do in their free time, then it's pretty hard to keep things together.
It sounds to me like you're getting a case of "Could I do better than this?" which does sound asshole-y, but it's a natural feeling to have. You said that you and her have been very compatible despite having no similar hobbies. To me, that is fantastic and way more important than sharing hobbies with someone. If she doesn't care that you game, then what's the problem? The grass is always greener on the other side, you know what I mean?
Unless you really just don't like her that much anymore, why not try and create hobbies together? Pick up a sport, hiking, bouldering, dance, sing, whatever. There's got to be something you've always wanted to do but never did, why not try and start that with her, and create a hobby you can share together? Or try and get her into whatever you like? Go to a concert together, show her a new game that you like, something like that. The reverse is also true - you can find out what she's really into and see if you can get into it too?
Lone_Prodigy
Member
You have little to no similar interests, so what do you talk about?
I agree about the "grass is greener" analogy. You met these cool girls and talked about geeky stuff. That's great, you have things in common. But what about the rest of their personality? What about their career, their family, their values, their goals for the future, their passions, their emotional disposition?
I think you need to have a serious talk with her about where you two are going. Maybe you two are looking for different things, maybe you're better off with friends, or maybe you two can work out your differences.
I agree about the "grass is greener" analogy. You met these cool girls and talked about geeky stuff. That's great, you have things in common. But what about the rest of their personality? What about their career, their family, their values, their goals for the future, their passions, their emotional disposition?
I think you need to have a serious talk with her about where you two are going. Maybe you two are looking for different things, maybe you're better off with friends, or maybe you two can work out your differences.
Ethics Gradient
Member
Just venting.
I had a girl I was "dating" go completely dark on me after she went on a trip to NYC. On our last date, told me (without prompting) that she would be texting me pics of her trip.
Wished her a fun trip and never heard from her again. Texted her after she was supposed to be back - nada.
Now... we didn't know each other well enough for me to call her up checking in on her... we never kept in touch enough for that.
There are any number of reasons why she didn't get back to me, I just ultimately wish it had gone a different way.
I had a girl I was "dating" go completely dark on me after she went on a trip to NYC. On our last date, told me (without prompting) that she would be texting me pics of her trip.
Wished her a fun trip and never heard from her again. Texted her after she was supposed to be back - nada.
Now... we didn't know each other well enough for me to call her up checking in on her... we never kept in touch enough for that.
There are any number of reasons why she didn't get back to me, I just ultimately wish it had gone a different way.
ZackieChan
Member
It happens. Best to just move on and not think about reasons why.
Gray Matter
Member
This is a prime example on why I wish GAF had a more prominent female members. I would love to hear from ladyGAF on their dating experiences, advice/tips and what not. It sure would help a ton.
ZackieChan
Member
I, too, would be interested. I think it would probably confuse us even more, though.
This is absolutely me. I try to appear very social and outgoing when needed, and I can do it to a certain extent, but it's hard and it tears on me.
I've never been in any serious relationship (I'm 20, so it's not too bad); I guess it's because of that social anxiety I'm constantly fighting, preventing me to go that extra mile. I know that I can be funny and interesting and outgoing, but it's hard work and I don't think it will ever stop being that.
It's a good thing threads like this one exists, some good reads and conversations. You guys are great.
Same here, that's why I appreciate gaiages posting here. Though, don't use this thread as the only place to get dating tips. We're all very like-minded people. Other opinions/perspectives are incredibly helpful.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I'm completely honest about it. To be sure, it's a good "dealbreaker" gauge: I wouldn't have a problem with someone else spending time with their ex or male friends, and I wouldn't tolerate needless jealousy either. I also provide context: my ex-wife and I really accelerated the marriage due to deportation reasons. I was in Japan and she's American; I was in the military, and she was treated like a second-class citizen without a ring on it. Plus, we only geographically overlapped for a limited period of time. I was deployed on our honeymoon. We moved to the States, and she got into grad school; I was moved shortly thereafter, and she stayed behind. Then, she found a job in Missouri -- and I moved to D.C.
Probably the fact that she's in Missouri helps assuage any concerns. Hell, if my ex sends over a picture of our dog, I've even shown it to girls I'm dating. And our conversations are usually filled with us giving dating advice to each other.
The girl I took out last Monday, she was all for this and mentioned that her ex is her designated dogwalker.
ZackieChan
Member
My ex and I share a dog. Dog lives with his mother, since I'm always on the road. I show the dog to new girlfriends, because it is cute and helps break the ice.
She's married but also has lots of dating advice for me. Though she ain't happy that I date girls a decade younger than myself. She just jelly
stn
Member
Honestly, 99% of the time the girl just isn't into you physically like she thought she was. Lots of people can get swept up in emotion or good feeling when they accept a date with someone (ex. you make a girl laugh and then immediately ask her out, she accepts). With that said, the reasons why don't matter. The result is the same at the end of the day.
I have a strong personality and have always been told I'm charming and hilarious, so therefore I always assume a girl who cuts contact is just not as physically into me. I also employ the Brad Pitt rule all the time, it honestly really does work. In fact, I've been complimented in this thread for giving good advice. Know how I give it? Pure logic and reason. At the end of the day, a girl who likes you WILL go for you. That's all there is to it. Same goes for a guy who likes a girl.
But yes, I'd definitely like to hear some stories and/or insight from the ladies here. In fact, I sometimes PM them for some insight.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Okay, I've found someone else. She's in my state's anime-con's facebook group. I wanna talk to her and stuff but I think she might respond rudely plus it might be creepy to send her a message introducing myself.(I'd ask for help with the wording) I mean, she's into anime and cosplay. (it's a something) but until I happen to see her in-person, I'm going to have to let her go.
Honestly though, I don't really wanna date because I feel pressured into it by family and friends, y'know? They won't accept that I like being by myself. If I say that I don't want a girlfriend, they'll assume that i'm gay (or think I have a problem)."What are you waiting for?" "Oh, you're trying to focus on school first, first?" But I guess, it's something different other than hanging with the guys( who all have been in relationships). I don't really give a shit though. Want great-grandchildren? Pester my cousin who's engaged about it. Not me.
It seems like I've thrown in the towel before I even got started but yeah...I'm done bitching now.
Honestly though, I don't really wanna date because I feel pressured into it by family and friends, y'know? They won't accept that I like being by myself. If I say that I don't want a girlfriend, they'll assume that i'm gay (or think I have a problem)."What are you waiting for?" "Oh, you're trying to focus on school first, first?" But I guess, it's something different other than hanging with the guys( who all have been in relationships). I don't really give a shit though. Want great-grandchildren? Pester my cousin who's engaged about it. Not me.
It seems like I've thrown in the towel before I even got started but yeah...I'm done bitching now.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
You really shouldn't be dating. I've read your posts in this thread and they're misguided at best, creepy at worst. You don't "find" girls like you're walking in tall grass looking for Pokemon. Learn to interact with girls, get to know them as friends, and then consider dating.
Thinking someone is gay for not dating is a terrible if not offensive mindset. Tell your family to back off.
Thinking someone is gay for not dating is a terrible if not offensive mindset. Tell your family to back off.
ZackieChan
Member
Seconded.
You're choosing a girl like the Scientologists chose Tom Cruise's potential wife that one time. It is creepy.
If it was someone on a dating site, it would be different. But it is a group where she wants to find friends, not to be in a meat market. This is like when a girl shows up in COD and all the guys get creepy or start white knighting.
We talk a lot about life in general. She is having a hard time right now as she has lost contact with many of her friends. She is on summer vacation from her school right now and I am going to work on the weekdays, so she has moments where she feels trapped as she has no one to hang out with because she has no driver's license and no friends in close range.
She is reallt into creative stuff like painting, knitting, etc. I try to ask her about it and show interest and she can go on about it for hours, which is great. However in hindsight I feel that I don't get the same response. It's one of those few things about her that throw me off. For example if I tell her about some of the crazy stuff that happened this weekend she just kinda scoffs it off like she isn't interested at all and it honestly bothers me. I don't know how to deal with it.
We have an easy time hanging out in general and we talk a lot about stuff that isn't related to hobbies. I guess I am worried that when this first rush of newly found affection for another person eventually dies off I won't see as much of a reason to hang out anymore.
JStein0222
Member
In a thread that I would guess contains a lot of (warranted) downers, I just wanted to pop in and say something positive.
I recently realized that I'm with the love of my life. It's mind-boggling not only how happy she makes me, but also how obvious it is that I am supposed to be with her.
Hoping I can show her this somewhere down the line and prove to her how early I knew
So I posted this a few months back and just wanted to update that she's moving in with me
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
You guys are right. I'd like to be friends with that person instead. Because at least I know how to act around. Not saying I don't have any female friends though I am a class clown.
Okay, can some people on here help me create an online profile for a dating site (pof/okc)? Something good? I'm just about done wallowing in my own sadness at this point. 8 months and I'm still not over my ex. I want to date women and be over her already for fucks sake. I've dipped into the pond and gone on several dates since the break up, but none I took very seriously, not to mention my mindset at the time was messed up even more so (because of emotional trauma). I've made a profile numerous times, but always end up deleting it after a couple of days. Advice, help, pointers, or someone showing me what I should/shouldn't write would be great. I suck at meeting women in person so I'm going to opt to use the internet for now.
I feel this is relevant. I want to be able to be this guy and get over his ex like this
vicissitudes
Banned
If you think you're miserable now wait until you try online dating lol.
I have. Every girl I've dated I met online. Two girls before I met my ex. Dated her for a year and half, which was great, then heartbreak. Few more girls after her. Now I figure I'd try again. Meeting women in person first and going from there has never happened/worked out for me.
ZackieChan
Member
So it sounds like you know what to do
sarcasm?
I'd suggest taking a visit to Online Dating gaf. If you post your profile there, you'll get some feedback on it.
Without having seen your profile, here's the best advice I can offer...
1) Have three pics, minimum. Between them, we should see your full body, a clear shot of your face, you doing something with people, you doing some kind of fun activity, and whatever else you want to show off. It's better to show than tell. A pic of you in Spain is better than saying "i like to travel". A pic of you playing with your dog is better than saying "I can't live without my dog".
2) Seriously, invest in them pics. Online dating is superficial.
3) Your profile should be positive and easy to read. You want to keep your sentence length and word choice varied. Once you type everything up, have someone proofread it for typos, grammar mistakes, and overall flow.
4) Prepare to have a lot of nothing happen. If you've done online dating before, you should already know this, but it bears repeating. Most of your messages will go unreturned. The healthiest way to deal with it is to forget about a girl the moment you click "send".
5) Confidence rules all. If you're deleting your profile after a couple of days, you don't have it. You need to be able to go "here I am world, judge me, for I am awesome!"
Without having seen your profile, here's the best advice I can offer...
1) Have three pics, minimum. Between them, we should see your full body, a clear shot of your face, you doing something with people, you doing some kind of fun activity, and whatever else you want to show off. It's better to show than tell. A pic of you in Spain is better than saying "i like to travel". A pic of you playing with your dog is better than saying "I can't live without my dog".
2) Seriously, invest in them pics. Online dating is superficial.
3) Your profile should be positive and easy to read. You want to keep your sentence length and word choice varied. Once you type everything up, have someone proofread it for typos, grammar mistakes, and overall flow.
4) Prepare to have a lot of nothing happen. If you've done online dating before, you should already know this, but it bears repeating. Most of your messages will go unreturned. The healthiest way to deal with it is to forget about a girl the moment you click "send".
5) Confidence rules all. If you're deleting your profile after a couple of days, you don't have it. You need to be able to go "here I am world, judge me, for I am awesome!"
ZackieChan
Member
No. You got a bunch of dates using online dating. That sounds to me like you know what to do. There isn't much to it.
electricshake
Member
Where the plane hits you instead. :/
I made one.
This is great advice. I just made one. Thank you.
Fair enough. I thought your message might've had a negative connotation to it.
How hard in the face I need to get hit to not be so unattractive to women lmao
This is great advice. I just made one. Thank you.
Fair enough. I thought your message might've had a negative connotation to it.
How hard in the face I need to get hit to not be so unattractive to women lmao
Adam_Roman
Member
You need to stop thinking like that, then women will find you more attractive. Right when I stopped caring about looking like the most appealing specimen for dating, that's when I actually started to get people interested in me. I'm by no means attractive. I look good for my weight, but I'm still a fat computer nerd that spends too much time playing video games. Once you stop acting like you're unattractive, that's when you can start being more confident, which goes much farther than looks.
Once I realized this, I took off all the corny cookie cutter stuff that everyone has on their dating profiles and started to act more like myself and that's when people became more interested in me. When I met my girlfriend on Tinder, I had "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams" in my 'about me', and she started talking to me because we both thought that was funny. Now I'm not saying to plaster your profiles with memes, but find some stuff that you'd like a future SO to appreciate and incorporate that into your stuff. Don't just say "I want to date someone with a good sense of humor", include something that if they comment on, you'll know they have a good sense of humor.
TL;DR: Don't act like you're ugly. Show a bit of confidence and don't be ashamed of yourself for any reason. You want someone to like you for who you are, so make sure they know who you are.
vicissitudes
Banned
Oh, so you've made profiles in the past and had success. Sounded like you didn't. I've never used POF so I can't help there. Looked okay though at a glance. (get rid of the last pic)
Judging purely based off of physical looks, I'd say you're a decent looking guy. But physical looks (outside the extremes) only account for maybe 50% of how attractive a guy is, at best. Probably less than that actually. There are a variety of other factors that go into it (like body language), which are really hard to explain online through a forum. Occasionally I'll go to offline dating events and most guys are pretty clueless about them. Wish I could help out some posters here in person somehow like grapefruitman lol. (too bad he lives far from me and is banned)
That's... actually really good advice. That's amazing that "jet fuel can't melt steel beams" got you a date. Solid.
I got rid of the last pic, and thank you.
Guys, I think I got stealth "the talked".
I was talking to that girl I've been dating on facebook yesterday, who's on holiday for a month.
When we were talking about something after our second date when she said:
Oh no, you didn't have any repsonisibility to do so, we weren't a couple then.
Unless I'm reading too much into this, she think we're a couple now no?
I was talking to that girl I've been dating on facebook yesterday, who's on holiday for a month.
When we were talking about something after our second date when she said:
Oh no, you didn't have any repsonisibility to do so, we weren't a couple then.
Unless I'm reading too much into this, she think we're a couple now no?
methane47
Member
Update:
I should have listened to you Gaf. I confronted her with the evidence that I had after returning from the trip. But admittedly it was not much evidence. But i should have listened and just broke up with her then.
But instead I tentatively accepted her apologies and kept on digging and found that the web of lies went deeeeep. Strong evidence of cheating back to last Christmas. And slight evidence of cheating with other guys back to 2013.
I kinda expected it when i put things together in my head. But seeing the evidence for myself has made me furiously numb.
Today I'll schedule an STD screening.
I should have listened to you Gaf. I confronted her with the evidence that I had after returning from the trip. But admittedly it was not much evidence. But i should have listened and just broke up with her then.
But instead I tentatively accepted her apologies and kept on digging and found that the web of lies went deeeeep. Strong evidence of cheating back to last Christmas. And slight evidence of cheating with other guys back to 2013.
I kinda expected it when i put things together in my head. But seeing the evidence for myself has made me furiously numb.
Today I'll schedule an STD screening.
So I posted this a few months back and just wanted to update that she's moving in with me
Congrats man!
That's not really fair to you. You might want to sit down and have a talk with her about it, it's not nice to scoff at your interests. And good on you for making an attempt to be interested in hers.
I mean, it seems like it, but (at the risk of sounding rude) a lot of people suck at using proper grammar.
If you wanna know for sure, I'd send her a half-joking text, like "Oh, so we're a couple now?
" or something like that. Unless she's bad at taking jokes like that. Then I dunno.Sorry to hear that, man, but I'm glad you're out of it now. You do you.
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