It depends on the girl and how you say it. There are probably girls that would think it's weird, but those girls are weird too in my opinion. I've asked before and it worked. Go for it if it makes it easier for you.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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It depends on the girl and how you say it. There are probably girls that would think it's weird, but those girls are weird too in my opinion. I've asked before and it worked. Go for it if it makes it easier for you.
ClosingADoor
Member
Don't ask, just make a move at the end of the date when saying goodbye. Or anywhere else if the moment is right.
Exploding8
Member
It depends on how you ask. There is no hard rule to this, it really is all about figuring out the mood. If you ask all lame out of the blue like "Hey uu... can I kiss you?" Then yeah that's not attractive. But for example, on my last date we did the 36 questions to make you fall in love, and for the last question it was something like ask the person you're with for advice on something, so I said "I kinda want to kiss you right now, what do you think I should do?" And she seemed to like that. So if you find yourself in a context like that or if you try to lead the conversation to something where it would be more natural to ask then it works. But even then it's a lot about confidence; we dared a friend of mine to ask a random girl to kiss him, so he went up to this super attractive girl and said "my friends dared me to kiss someone, can you help me out?" And they made out right there on the street.
Yeah, I kind of have a better idea of what she likes. She mentioned that she love/d Yu-Gi-Oh, which was interesting, but makes me feel better since, as I mentioned, she's fine with games & anime (she said she even tried to learn Magic The Gathering once), so I feel like I don't have to "hide" it (but of course, I don't try to make the entire date about talking about those things). Again, stupid prejudice I got from high school because I was unpopular with girls that I'm trying to get rid of since I know things are different now.
& thanks for all the advice. I guess I could try being subtle & be all "isn't there another way you/I could say goodbye/thank you for the date"? Though I'm not the type that might get subtlety or "signs" at times.
Why have you got to make yourself happy? You broke up with your girlfriend. That's something to be sad about. Be sad.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Asking isn't exactly the best thing to do in general but everyone's different. Some will like it, some won't. But 99% of the time it will not make a difference.
Still, it is better than not making a move at all
My date yesterday with the girl from Tinder went well. Just as attractive in person and fun to talk to. Went to a bar and we ate/drank a bit. I was talking to some guys next to us and then they offered as an $80 shot of Bourbon.
After the bar I told her I wanted to talk a little more so I grabbed her hand and told her to walk around with me. We walked for like 30 mins in the cold ass city which allowed us to get a little closer. Went back to her car, kissed/made out and then I was on my way home.
Overall went super well and she followed up with me that she's excited to see me again. I am, too.
After the bar I told her I wanted to talk a little more so I grabbed her hand and told her to walk around with me. We walked for like 30 mins in the cold ass city which allowed us to get a little closer. Went back to her car, kissed/made out and then I was on my way home.
Overall went super well and she followed up with me that she's excited to see me again. I am, too.
Eeeeeh, don't say it like that, that's not really subtle. Like others said, asking during the right time/mood can go in your favor, but that line doesn't sound like it'd go over well. I mean, it could, but I'm not seeing it right now, but that's just me. Probably better just to lean in and go for it. You probably will need to learn how to pick up on subtleties a bit more, though...
Hey, it's gonna hurt for a while. It's gonna suck. You don't "have to" make yourself happy, trying to bury the sadness and whatnot could just make it worse in the long run.
You just do you, and try and enjoy yourself, just don't force it. :3
Yeah, my comprehension skills at times are below average. But hey, this thread is for learning/getting advice, & hopefully I'll learn to not be as oblivious to small signs. If anything, this thread has helped me not overthink as much & make sure I do things correctly.
I know she goes to the gym sometimes (she even showed me a fitness app that helps keep track of the food you eat & such), and I've been trying to get back into the habit of exercising as well. That might be something we could do together. I just know after two dates of sitting & talking, I need to do something different to change up the routine, along with trying to form a better connection over something we have in common.
brickwalker0
Member
your situation sounds a lot like my last girlfriend of 2 years (even down to her playing games and liking anime). exercising was our third date, played racquetball and had a blast, sealed the deal that night as a matter of fact.
from the sounds of it, you're on the right track and you'll find the perfect moment to make your move, you'll know it when you see it.
n64coder
Member
You'll make mistakes and that's ok as long as you learn from them. I still remember my first date at 16 where I took her to the movies. I didn't kiss her at the end of the date. I heard from a coworker that she was upset that I didn't kiss her at all and wondered why. Fortunately, I went on some more dates.
After that, I always kissed at the end of the data unless it's obvious that it didn't go well.
Another time, I french kissed at the end of the date. Didn't get another date after that.
I've had a few other cringe worthy moments but that's all in the past. You only get better at something when you have a lot of experience/practice.
Sorry, Zonic, that may have come off a bit bluntly on my part. 
Yeah, it's something that comes with practice and observation, really. You'll get the hang of it, just start to pay closer attention and you'll start to see little signs :3
More specific advice--it's the third date for you and her, so she's interested in you! Go for it when you get a chance!
Yeah, it's something that comes with practice and observation, really. You'll get the hang of it, just start to pay closer attention and you'll start to see little signs :3
More specific advice--it's the third date for you and her, so she's interested in you! Go for it when you get a chance!
That's good to hear. It'll probably also help that finals are finally over & we might have a more concrete schedule with me taking summer classes (& possibly a part-time job at the college) & her having another job as well, so it might be easier to find the time since we're both the type to like to plan in advance and things have settled down a bit.
I told her that I have an exercise bike and I sometimes go out for runs on the road that I live on since I'm out in the country, so maybe I could invite her for a run or something, then afterwards, we could watch Netflix or whatever as we get back our energy.
Yeah, last time I dated was in 2012 and I feel like that was a good learning experience. It also helps that I feel like there might be more of a connection this time compared to the previous girl (which looking back, I'm trying to remember why I asked her out. In hindsight, I'm kind of glad things didn't work out). & from what the internet has told me, the girl is the one that chooses when it's okay to start french kissing.
When I was your age many moons ago, I was socially awkward, insecure, didn't have a phone, and terribly oblivious to signals. It took me a couple of years to improve myself after I graduated from high school to overcome some insecurities and change for the better.
My point is that at that point in life (or any other point really) you have absolutely nothing to lose by asking her out to do something after finals. A big part of life as n64coder said involves taking risks and not being afraid to fail every now. Fortune favors the bold so do yourself a favor and watch the Ice T video on Fuck It to light the fire on your ass. You being a Senior in HS means that many of those relationships you had with friends will change once you go to college and get older so you really have nothing to lose.
Haha, it's fine. Sometimes, I need things to be blunt to get the point across.Sorry, Zonic, that may have come off a bit bluntly on my part.
Yeah, it's something that comes with practice and observation, really. You'll get the hang of it, just start to pay closer attention and you'll start to see little signs :3
More specific advice--it's the third date for you and her, so she's interested in you! Go for it when you get a chance!
But yeah, I wanna take advantage of the third date because if I don't do anything then, she might think I'm not interested/only see her as a friend, but I also don't wanna bore her again by doing the same thing (sitting & eating/drinking). The fact we tend to text about once a day or every other day makes me feel at ease because it tells me she's interested in keeping the conversation going/knowing we care about what's happening to each other.
Exr
Member
Been messing around with different girls very casually over the last 3 years. Now im in my mid 20s and I have my first actual relationship. When I am with her I feel great and its like nothing is wrong, but I often catch myself feeling like she deserves more. I am going to school soon for a trade and she is graduating this year with very high grades. She is very intelligent (smarter than I) and has only been with two other guys, both in their 30s. I feel bad because unlike those guys I am not currently financially stable enough to buy my own place, nor am I at a place in life where I can offer her anything more. Has anybody experienced this and if so how did you cope with it? I guess its a matter of self confidence but the more I am with her and the more I like her the more I feel like she can do better.
manfestival
Member
What should I do to grow some balls? I mean, I have myself in good standing with ladies and it seems like I make them wait forever and then they move on. Is my fear of commitment really that strong?
Well.. I am sad actually.
But I'm enjoying my time with a friend of mine at the mall right now. Doing some funny jokes.
False Witness
Member
It definitely is a confidence thing and one you should probably correct.
I actually drove my fiancée away by doubting myself constantly. I would always tell her that she could do so much better and would be better off with someone else. So,eventually, after being told that so many times she left me for someone else. She was just doing what I told her to do because I made it seem like I didn't actually love her.
Of course, she dropped that relationship pretty quickly, but I ruined what relationship we could have had by lacking in confidence in myself.
What do you mean by wait forever?
Yea what do you mean, taking too long to make a move? Or to become exclusive or something
It happens, man. Just laugh it off and get ready for Round 2.
JStein0222
Member
In a thread that I would guess contains a lot of (warranted) downers, I just wanted to pop in and say something positive.
I recently realized that I'm with the love of my life. It's mind-boggling not only how happy she makes me, but also how obvious it is that I am supposed to be with her.
Hoping I can show her this somewhere down the line and prove to her how early I knew
haha
I recently realized that I'm with the love of my life. It's mind-boggling not only how happy she makes me, but also how obvious it is that I am supposed to be with her.
Hoping I can show her this somewhere down the line and prove to her how early I knew
hahaIn a thread that I would guess contains a lot of (warranted) downers, I just wanted to pop in and say something positive.
I recently realized that I'm with the love of my life. It's mind-boggling not only how happy she makes me, but also how obvious it is that I am supposed to be with her.
Hoping I can show her this somewhere down the line and prove to her how early I knew
Oh man, that's great! Congrats!
That is certainly some positive news, I love hearing things like this :3JStein0222
Member
Oh man, that's great! Congrats!
I accidentally gushed to my best bud about it earlier today over some drinks. It was a weird experience saying it all out loud but god damn I'm just so happy about everything and I knew, but I didn't really take it in until I said it.
I did it, Gaf!
Last night I went to a work party. Being close friends with several of my coworkers, we coordinate a DD and carpool there. Having a good time, goofing off in the photo booth, and taking advantage of the cash bar. Only bad thing is, it's all coworkers, which I'm not about to get mixed up in that.
So, with a little convincing and rallying the troops, we all agree to head to a nice bar. And we get there, claim some seats, start playing pool, and I'm getting to the point where I think I may try risking talking to a girl.
Glance around a bit, see someone really cute who's part of a group of four girls. And, in short time, she comes up to the bar as I'm getting several drinks - I get her attention and ask if she would like one too, and she says she was actually just settling her tab.
Damn...
So, still on the lookout but not really seeing anyone, I kill some time at pool and continue drinking.
Then it happens. One of my friends has made his way into a group of a few people, two of which are super cute. I make my way over, introduce myself, and somehow manage to not totally bomb. I was having an awesome conversation with one of the girls, going back and forth on work, and beliefs, and even politics, all of which played out really well.
So we split for a second, I psyche myself up and I know I'm actively looking to go for it.
Get back, and a third friend comes back and casually complements her on her wedding ring.
The end.
I thought I was doing so well, and I make a rookie mistake. Live and learn, I guess.
Last night I went to a work party. Being close friends with several of my coworkers, we coordinate a DD and carpool there. Having a good time, goofing off in the photo booth, and taking advantage of the cash bar. Only bad thing is, it's all coworkers, which I'm not about to get mixed up in that.
So, with a little convincing and rallying the troops, we all agree to head to a nice bar. And we get there, claim some seats, start playing pool, and I'm getting to the point where I think I may try risking talking to a girl.
Glance around a bit, see someone really cute who's part of a group of four girls. And, in short time, she comes up to the bar as I'm getting several drinks - I get her attention and ask if she would like one too, and she says she was actually just settling her tab.
Damn...
So, still on the lookout but not really seeing anyone, I kill some time at pool and continue drinking.
Then it happens. One of my friends has made his way into a group of a few people, two of which are super cute. I make my way over, introduce myself, and somehow manage to not totally bomb. I was having an awesome conversation with one of the girls, going back and forth on work, and beliefs, and even politics, all of which played out really well.
So we split for a second, I psyche myself up and I know I'm actively looking to go for it.
Get back, and a third friend comes back and casually complements her on her wedding ring.
The end.
I thought I was doing so well, and I make a rookie mistake. Live and learn, I guess.
Damn.
At least you got some experience hitting up the ladies at bars. I don't think it'd be that big of a deal? You haven't even dated two weeks.
I have played "Never Have I Ever" game before.
Being sad is natural after breaking up. But it doesn't have to be the go-to emotion. Give the Descendents' Pep Talk song a listen.
https://youtu.be/sdMwmmniAf0
just the tip
Damn.
I don't think it'd be that big of a deal? You haven't even dated two weeks.
ok thats what I'm feeling. I'm pretty sure she's way more into this whole thing than I am though and I've never broken up with anyone before (or been broken up with; never really had an official gf). there are a few good things about it, but the cons heavily outweigh the pros.
I've played a "game" before to get a first kiss. We were talking about something and I figured out a way to make a bet. We were talking about how late it was and how long we've been talking. I told her let's make a bet on what time it is without looking. If I win, I get a kiss.
(I had already checked the time like 5 mins before)
Worked out great.
Oh my goodness, this song can help me. I already felt a little bit uplifted after the first few seconds.
I need more uplifting songs like this.
Thank you so much.
I'm also cleaning up my whole apartment today and it is already looking good. There's none of her things or anything here anymore and nothing on my phone.
[edit]
Eh, she just texted me that she have a new boyfriend already, and that they will come to my place.
I don't have time for this. How do I block numbers on Android?
lol wat
She's not actually coming over with her new boyfriend, is she? You told her not to come, right? What a bitch move on her part.
And: http://www.androidauthority.com/how-to-block-phone-calls-numbers-android-phone-246484/
Just broke up with my girlfriend after 3 years, and she is pissed. Now I'm sad.
Why do they always have to say so many bad things? I had hoped for a peaceful breakup as she had alluded to before, but she's clearly angry.
I have erased her number from my Google contacts and won't text her anymore.
I'll go drink and take the bus somewhere to be out in the Summer weather today.
Is this the right way to do it?
Yes, that's hard dude. Emotions are hard and we are all human.
Damn.
Yup. Had fun, didn't die.
Going out again tonight, going to try again!
Out of Working Order
Member
What does it mean if somebody's told me they could only see an overweight or obese woman being with me? I am not overweight myself, and am relatively fit. I am however a 29 year old virgin, and have never had a girlfriend.
When I challenged it, he said that that's just 'real life'. When I complained that he really thought I was that bad, he said I was starting to sound like a dick. I asked why, and he said 'because it's as if you think you're better than that'.
This is my closest friend, so he's not going to bullshit me at the end of the day. I appreciate honesty, and would rather be told the truth than fed a load of lies that build up false hope. He kept saying that she'll probably have a great personality, and that all the bigger women tend to have nicer personalities anyway. Slim, good looking women are ' bitchier, and tend to have uglier personalities'. The whole exchange left me feeling really low about myself, though. At the end of the day, I want to be physically attracted to a woman. I am fit, so would expect my partner to be fit also, or at least a healthy weight.
More to the point, I am nearly 30 and still a virgin. What the fuck. Wouldn't most people have topped themselves by now?
When I challenged it, he said that that's just 'real life'. When I complained that he really thought I was that bad, he said I was starting to sound like a dick. I asked why, and he said 'because it's as if you think you're better than that'.
This is my closest friend, so he's not going to bullshit me at the end of the day. I appreciate honesty, and would rather be told the truth than fed a load of lies that build up false hope. He kept saying that she'll probably have a great personality, and that all the bigger women tend to have nicer personalities anyway. Slim, good looking women are ' bitchier, and tend to have uglier personalities'. The whole exchange left me feeling really low about myself, though. At the end of the day, I want to be physically attracted to a woman. I am fit, so would expect my partner to be fit also, or at least a healthy weight.
More to the point, I am nearly 30 and still a virgin. What the fuck. Wouldn't most people have topped themselves by now?
So, GAF, on a scale from "It's ok" to "Worst idea ever" how bad is it to get back on with my ex?
Back in 2013 we broke up because she told me I was too needy (don't even know if that is a word that exists, we don't speak english around where I live) and that she wasn't ready for a full blown relationship at such young age and that despite that she really liked me still, we dated for 10 months that time. After her I went on another relationship that lasted 11 months, we had a nasty break up back in march and I've beign trying to get into the dating game again. My most recent ex infuriated me with her bullshit again last week (long story), and the one that was there available to listen to me complain was my previous ex. Granted, listening to someone bitch about their ex isn't very attractive, it did spark the dialogue between us both and we have been talking a lot this past week.
Now she wants to go out. I really do feel like I'm treading old ground and setting myself up for failure if try to go this way again. Have any of you guys ever dated you exes again and it worked out?
That's a load of bullshit your friend told you. If you have the desired qualities and she is attracted to you, the gal you are trying to get it on with won't really care if you are a virgin or not. Back when I was a virgin and was about to have my first encounter it was with a girl much more experienced than I, she just put up with me, it was akward as fuck (because I am awkward mostly) but she was into me so she put up with it.
About beign 30 and still a virgin, I can't comment on that for having no experience, but honestly I wouldn't worry too much. Having sex is not the be all, end all, just keep on improving yourself and giving other people chances to get close and it will eventually happen.
Back in 2013 we broke up because she told me I was too needy (don't even know if that is a word that exists, we don't speak english around where I live) and that she wasn't ready for a full blown relationship at such young age and that despite that she really liked me still, we dated for 10 months that time. After her I went on another relationship that lasted 11 months, we had a nasty break up back in march and I've beign trying to get into the dating game again. My most recent ex infuriated me with her bullshit again last week (long story), and the one that was there available to listen to me complain was my previous ex. Granted, listening to someone bitch about their ex isn't very attractive, it did spark the dialogue between us both and we have been talking a lot this past week.
Now she wants to go out. I really do feel like I'm treading old ground and setting myself up for failure if try to go this way again. Have any of you guys ever dated you exes again and it worked out?
That's a load of bullshit your friend told you. If you have the desired qualities and she is attracted to you, the gal you are trying to get it on with won't really care if you are a virgin or not. Back when I was a virgin and was about to have my first encounter it was with a girl much more experienced than I, she just put up with me, it was akward as fuck (because I am awkward mostly) but she was into me so she put up with it.
About beign 30 and still a virgin, I can't comment on that for having no experience, but honestly I wouldn't worry too much. Having sex is not the be all, end all, just keep on improving yourself and giving other people chances to get close and it will eventually happen.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
yeah your friend is putting you down and seems like he's being a bit sexist in his generalizations. obviously dont know much about him or you so he could be a 100% jerk for all we know.
IMO you should just try online dating and see where you get. it might work out for you since you say you are fit, who knows
Being a virgin doesn't doom you to only being able to date certain women, most of them probably won't care. Sure, being a 30 year old virgin is a bit abnormal, but if the girl's into when you're gonna have sex, she'll be okay with it. If she wasn't, you wouldn't want to date someone like her anyway, because that would be a rather petty attitude to have.
That said, he's kind of an ass for saying you could only get fat women, essentially. Not only for implying that bigger ladies are of a lower caliber and thus easier to get with, but also for trying to shame you by saying you're "acting better than that". Everyone has personal preferences; if you don't like overweight or obese girls, then that's fine.
Your friend's a massive jerk.
Never done it myself, but from what I've seen it usually doesn't end well. Sometimes it does, though. If you're feeling uncomfortable after meeting up with her or whatever, you probably shouldn't go through with it. Basically, try and follow your gut instinct. Does it seem like a bad idea after your date or whatever? Then don't pursue it any further. Heck, since you've dated her already you already know the pros/cons of doing so (I'd assume), so try and remember that as well.
This is pretty much the right answer. Don't get put into the mindset that you aren't good enough for something or someone, just be yourself and put yourself out there and hope for the best!
I'm actually doing pretty well. It can be tough at night, but I get my sleep, and I'm washing my clothes and cleaning up the whole apartment - even throwing out stuff I find unnecessary, so it all looks much more clean now, and there's much more space.
I'm about to set some goals for myself. It have been 3 years since I last did that.
In time I need to enjoy the single life. But it's totally the right decision to leave her. We had been breaking up 10+ times the past three years, and had our arguments, and I came to realize we were extremely different.
I'm about to set some goals for myself. It have been 3 years since I last did that.
In time I need to enjoy the single life. But it's totally the right decision to leave her. We had been breaking up 10+ times the past three years, and had our arguments, and I came to realize we were extremely different.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
Did she bring some dude over to your place still?
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